A Demon's Dream

Chapter Two: Of Furred Humanoid Things and Chronological Bribery

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, shocking quiaff? Or wookies. I don't own any wookies.

Tsunade, the fifth Hokage, turned away from the hospital room where her little brother lay, her mind running at an extraordinary pace, racing through everything she had just seen and heard, and as she stood on the other side of the closed door, taking the moment to collect herself, her frantic mind came to several conclusions, in this order.

First, she needed a drink. Second, Naruto was talking to the Kyuubi. Third, correct me if I'm wrong but talking to the Kyuubi shouldn't be possible, unless the demon was far stronger than the seal was designed to accommodate, which implied it was stronger than it had shown during its assault.Fourth, she really needed that drink. Fifth, Naruto had wanted to kill Sasuke, and he was talking to the Kyuubi, which meant the demon was beginning to influence her little brother's mind.

And finally, it came to the ultimate conclusion of, 'Oh FUCK'.

Sakura stood there staring at her spaced out hokage (1), trying to get her attention in as unobtrusive a way possible. After a long moment Tsunade's eyes widened and she paled a little bit, Sakura knew of the woman's strength from Naruto's story and her own near legends, and if she was that lost in thought, the pink-haired kunoichi was fairly sure she didn't want to be anywhere near her. The hokage's eyes seemed to finally focus on the girl before her and the older blonde blinked, recognition setting in.

"Aren't you…?"

"Haruno Sakura, hokage-sama-" said nin-girl was cut off by the hokage once more.

"Oh! You're the girl Naruto kept talking about then! Well don't worry, he'll be fine." Though I'll be damned if I know how. "In fact you can go and see him now, just be sure to knock… Is something wrong?" The hokage had noticed as Sakura winced at the first mention of Naruto's name and grew increasingly more shame-faced as she spoke about him and what he'd said.

"Hm? Wha- Oh, no hokage-sama, its just… Naruto doesn't want to see me I think." She sounded almost depressed by this. Tsunade was rather surprised more by what she said than by her being depressed by it. For a brief moment the hokage considered all the paperwork she had to catch up on, and the mending that she had no more stamina for anywhere and everywhere in the building. The crises were over, the regular doctors could and would take care of Sasuke, and Shizune was in charge of Hyuuga Neji's care, if the hokage were needed, Shizune would know where to find her.

In the split second it took her to think all that, the Hokage turned down the hall towards the exit and motioned for Haruno Sakura to walk with her. "Tell me what happened in the most detail you feel you can just now." And with the gesture and sentence, Tsunade had decided that Sakura would probably become her second apprentice.

I need a drink.

The world was singularly fucked up, in the mind of many people. How it happened to be this way, most couldn't say. On the one hand, villages of ninjas existed as an extension of national governments, almost as if they were regular military. People walked or rode beasts of burden everywhere, but electricity ran lights where they came from and went. People used explosives to take down walls and make displays, but used taught strings for traps, and blades and knives for inflicting harm. Many really didn't understand it. Uchiha Sasuke was one of the many who could not really get his mind around the concepts, they made sense but at the same time they were totally nonsensical.

However, Sasuke decided very resolutely as he lay on a hospital bed, hooked into a variety of machines with doctors continuously hovering over him, that it was completely acceptable if he had no idea how modern medicine remained modern when so many things had gone comparatively rustic. He decided it didn't matter because at that time there was a wonderful little chemical running through his blood that he heard called morphine. Having forgotten all about the foreign chemical, the black-eyed shinobi was deep in conversation with his older brother, actually he was laughing his ass off while his brother, in all his dark, silhouetted evil glory, kneeled by the side of his bed with his blood red Mangekyou eyes chanting "Wookiewookiewookie" repeatedly (2).

Sasuke had no idea what wookiewookiewookie meant, but it sounded funny to his befuddled mind. And it had been so very long since he had a good laugh at anything. Inwardly free of his goal, he finally let his pent up need to laugh, to feel sad, to feel anything at all run loose. The doctors couldn't find a thing that was wrong with him, which did nothing to sate the gossip appetite of the nurses, who began to murmur and whisper of insanity and total mental collapse.

After a long time just laughing with his older brother, the silhouetted man exploded in smoke and revealed Sasuke's blonde teammate. "Naruto… knew it was you, dobe," was what he tried to say, but it came out all garbled and incoherent. The hallucinated Naruto flashed a huge smile and nodded

'Of course its me, Sasuke bastard, I'm your teammate, I had the most recent and powerful claim of all your dead associates to see you.' The ghost kept his smile up.

"For a dead man you're looking well," the blonde scratched the back of his head and nodded sheepishly. Sasuke's voice began to regain some logic to it as the doctors were mostly finished by now. "I'm sorry, I really didn't want to kill you. But I had to, I had to kill Itachi so I had to kill you. Forgive me, Naruto?" The few nurses and most of the doctors still in the room were confused by this, why would the prodigy ask for the demon brat's forgiveness? Kill him? Did that mean the demon was dead?

With so much gossip material, the stuff already out from the two of them being hospitalized, things were rapidly looking down for… everyone.

'Yeah yeah, don't get all mushy on me Sasuke, I forgive you. You seem to be turning human at least now. Not that it matters for us.' The blonde glanced at a watch he never wore and quickly shouted 'Whoa! Look at the time! I gotta get goin'. Sasuke take care of Sakura, she's always loved you and I can't do anything for her now, say hi to your parents for me ok?' The blonde walked out the open door. Uchiha Sasuke smiled up at the tiled ceiling, so his friend forgave him, and asked him to do something that, ninja or no, he could do. Footsteps alerted Sasuke to his parent's arrival, however, Sasuke was singularly disinterested in seeing them. Hallucination or not.

Sasuke's father spoke first. 'I'm ashamed at you. Really. You lost to the dead-last, just like you lost to your brother, and you wondered why I never spared time for you. You were a waste Sasuke, worthless.' Yesterday this was a part of his thinking for going to Orochimaru. Right now he didn't care, it didn't bother him that his father didn't love him or care for his happiness or success.

Sasuke's voice was quiet, not fearful, merely disinterested. The voice he used when he was trying to be Mr. Badass all the time. "Shut up old man, don't speak about my friends that way."

'Are you sure that you'll be ok, without being able to kill your brother are you sure you'll be alright?' His mother's voice. His head lifted from the pillow slightly and looked at her.

"I'll be alright mom, I've got a lot of life to catch up on you know." He gave her a faint smile, and she returned it warmly. His father smiled at him a little too and nodded his head as the two faded away. Sasuke looked back to the ceiling, letting his head collapse onto the pillow as he smiled and drifted completely to sleep.

Physics dictate that the fastest speed possible for matter is the infinitely approaching, yet never matching, the speed of light. The vast distance between the sun and the earth is crossed in eight minutes by photons and electromagnetic energy. Physics are a lot like statistical inference in that regard because they're both lies, they just happen to fit the events we see.

Rumor disproved this thinking of universal terminal velocity by simply occurring. It was a known fact in Konoha, that rumor could cross any distance light moved far faster especially when greased by the combination of unexplained events and curiosity.

The difference between the speed of rumor and the speed of light, is that when something moves at the speed of light, it ends up mostly the same when it slows or stops. When a thought moves at the speed of rumor, it is changed, altered, restructured.

And so, by the time Naruto and Kakashi were ready to exit the hospital, all of Konoha had heard the story. That the group sent to retrieve the Uchiha had returned, two were dead, the Uchiha and the Uzumaki might be dead too. That in and of itself was incorrect, but if asked, most would agree that that was more or less so.

However many also knew that the Kyuubi had killed the Uchiha. More knew that the Uchiha had killed the Kyuubi. A significant portion believed that both were dead, killing each other in the fight. Most however by this time agreed that it was totally and completely the Uzumaki's fault that their precious Uchiha had abandoned the village.

Well actually only the villagers believed that. By now most of the ninja knew Naruto, those that didn't heard a closer story to the truth, and the ninja community respected his dedication to the village. Tsunade knew this. The Konoha council, did not.

None of that was information had been supplied to either Kakashi or Naruto, however, as they left the hospital, only ten minutes after Sakura and Tsunade had. Kakashi, for what he knew of Naruto's life, had known how the village looked at him, and had always wanted to pity Naruto for it. But he couldn't, first of all because the blonde ninja was always smiling, and to an extent because he had never walked with his student.

Naruto, for his own part, saw the looks were worse than ever 'you killed three clan geniuses, demon' they said. Or maybe only his own guilt said that, he couldn't tell, but either way he couldn't bring out a smile to meet them with, and internally chalked it up to exhaustion. It'd be nice to get to sleep in his own bed for a few hours, if only that bastard fox would let him sleep for a change.

So the two walked through Konoha, in amiable silence, pondering their own misdeeds. The villagers regarded the strolling pair with contempt, they ignored Kakashi, and focused on the child with him. The sensei felt almost bitter over the complete lack of common sense these people held, the child protected them from the demon after all, it had brought back the Uchiha even nearly at the cost of his own life, hell the kid did more to deserve their respect and affection waking up, showering and trying not to drink spoiled milk in his breakfast than Kakashi had ever done. And yet the bookstore owner gave Kakashi discounts on all his Icha Icha books, but wouldn't even let Naruto in the store.

This is so tremendously fucked up. The jounin thought simply. He looked at his unusually glum student and wished he knew of someway to make things better for the kid. Of course, there was no solution, except to be there for he and Sakura as he had failed to for so long.

During the masked man's inner ramblings, Naruto's mind had remained exhaustedly void of thought. If he had been conscious enough to realize it, he would have become depressed by the intensity of the village's looks. However, thankfully for him, he was at his shitty, run-down apartment building before that could happen. Even exhausted as he was, he and Kakashi had no trouble at all foregoing the stairs in favor of walking up the side of the building to the third floor, and Naruto's particular apartment.

Kakashi smiled at his amazing student, he envied him that stamina and recovery, but he knew the price he paid for it and managed to forget his envy. A slight jangling came as the door unlocked, a mumbled 'g'night sensei' that might also have been a death threat in a foreign language emitted from the blonde as the keys disappeared and the door clicked shut and locked again.

Were Hatake Kakashi any less of a pervert, or grief-ridden survivor, he might've been offended with having the door shut in his face. As it was, he didn't think about it, and quickly turned on his heel. And disappeared into the streets, there was a village to wander through, and a lot of thinking to be done.

"He really said that?" asked one woman.

"Yeah… I know, I had it coming, I'm surprised it took him this long to say it," replied the second voice. This, only a girl, not yet a woman.

"Still, I never thought that he'd try to hurt someone he loved." The first looked away, considering the girl and the mysterious 'he' they were discussing. Trying to decide which impression had been wrong.

The girl's head snapped 'round so fast that her pink hair whipped around and smacked her neck lightly. "Loved? Naruto didn't love me…" Tsunade's look told her otherwise. She considered this for a long moment, and thought that maybe he did. Maybe he had loved her the same way she had loved Sasuke. But she hadn't snapped at Sasuke ever so why had Naruto… "oh" There it was. A simple revelation, she had always clung to hope with Sasuke, because he had no one and never expressed any interest in anyone. Sakura on the other hand, put up with Sasuke's rudeness, his coldness, the distance and the obsessiveness whilst ignoring someone who she hadn't even given a chance to treat her better.

That was something the pink-haired ninja had never considered before. It was surprising to suddenly have the possibility opened up to her. And of course her ignorance had removed the possibility of that happiness from her life before she had even realized it. Sakura thought for a moment that she should have felt sad for the loss of Naruto's once seemingly undying affection, should have felt hurt by the fact that he never wanted her to be anything other than a teammate, but she just couldn't bring herself to feel that way. No matter that the man she loved would never have feelings for her or really anyone, she still loved him in spite of herself.

Damn you, Naruto. Sakura thought.

"I wouldn't worry, that kid can't stay mad at anyone who isn't evil at heart. He even forgave someone like me." She smiled down at the pink haired girl as her own thoughts turned to the man who felt the same way about her. She couldn't help but see him in a slightly different light than he saw her, she wished she could love the white haired buffoon, but she just couldn't.

Bastard pervert. The hokage thought.

The remaining journey to the home of the Haruno family passed silently. Sakura cursed herself that she understood too late, and Naruto couldn't anymore. Tsunade cursed Jiraiya, because he did understand damnit, and that made it harder because he'd always understand for her when she needed him to. The two stopped before the Haruno household and the elder turned to face the younger, she was alike, maybe she didn't have Shizune's faithful determination, or for that matter her skill, but she could offer.

"Sakura, if you want to learn a way you can protect your precious people, Shizune and I will teach you. Think about it, don't answer me right away. Get some sleep first, and don't worry about Sasuke, he'll be fine." Sakura smiled instantly and nodded softly at the hokage's words, a spear of guilt stabbed through her as she realized that even after his betrayal and attempted murder of his best friend, she still valued him more.

The hokage returned to her chambers within the Hokage Tower and a short while thereafter fell into a blissfully dreamless sleep, drunk off her ass, but asleep.

Jiraiya and Kakashi sat next to one another in a bar. This was unusual, but neither cared really right then. After he left Naruto at his apartment, the jounin's guilt trip came back in force, so he did the only thing he knew. He had gone to the monument to mourn.

But when he got there, Kakashi hadn't felt the grief he always did. There was the lingering feeling of loneliness, but as soon as he recognized it as being different from grief, he thought of his students and the loneliness left him. Still insistent, the jounin went to the only other thing that could make his heart hurt like he felt it was supposed to.

Jiraiya had been in the bar conducting his research, and being rapidly turned down, when news hit him of the demon's demise, he'd thrown the exuberant man into a wall before slumping into his seat and drinking with renewed vigor. The best student he'd ever had, the one he was even more proud of than the fourth hokage, and who he was sure would go on to be even greater, was dead.

Jiraiya's mind wallowed in drunken self-pity, why did his students die? Why could he never know love? Why were his book sales so low this quarter? He glanced to his right just as Kakashi pulled up the mask again, and again asked no one in particular. Why can't anyone see beneath that mask? That thought got him thinking about Naruto again and he stared sulkily at his sake once more.

Kakashi was about to raise the glass back to his lips again when he glanced at the man sitting next to him. Jiraiya was not normally a quiet drunk, the few times when Kakashi had seen him drinking he had women all around him and was being as loud and obnoxious as his… Of course, that was it. Jiraiya worried about Naruto, a thought that Kakashi couldn't help but smile about, boy did pick his friends well.

"He'll be fine, Jiraiya," was all the black-masked man said.

This earned a glare from the aforementioned white-haired man, who until this point believed that Kakashi had only cared for the Uchiha boy's training, and by extension, did not concern himself with his other student's well-being at all. "What care have you that Naruto's dead? Wasn't even properly your student you arrogant prick, you ignored him and your other student for so long… Hell though, I did the same, I figured if I left him to figure it out he'd get better than if I just gave him techniques…" his rapidly collapsing train of guilt-tripping intent led him into a series of murmured ramblings while Kakashi stared at him blankly.

"What the hell are you talking about? Naruto's alive, I just walked him back to his apartment. I mean yeah, he almost died… But…" Kakashi's mind returned to the hospital room, watching Naruto's baleful blue chakra boil in the hole in his chest, the flesh regenerating, and he shuddered. "He's better now"

Jiraiya, during the whole of Kakashi's statement had been rambling, he heard him, but the words didn't sink in at first. After a few minutes he blinked slowly, turned to Kakashi and said "he's still alive?" there was guarded hope in his voice. The nod he received was the only confirmation he needed. "YOSH! Barkeep, a round for the whole room, my student is alive!"

Shikamaru, Temari, Lee, and Gaara, did not arrive with the critically injured. When the pursuing medical team found the three who were near-dead, they were taken back. Those uninjured (relatively speaking) were left to make their own way home (3). Rock Lee was put back in the hospital, when he and Gaara had arrived; once again the suiken natural had overused his sober self and taken a few wounds while drunk as well, not to mention he hadn't been in perfect shape when he'd left to join the rescue attempt either. Gaara… Was Gaara, he only wanted sleep to recover his spent chakra, but the Shukaku would take care of him so he didn't even need that. After dropping Lee at the hospital, he had left to satisfy his motives, first on the list was to try 'ramen', which was his nemesis' favorite, or so he'd heard.

Shikamaru had arrived with Temari's help, and only required a brace to keep his broken finger in place and a few bandages from the overactive fan-wielder's indiscriminate assaults. He had asked after his team's condition as soon as they arrived, something Temari had at first thought to respect him for, but as they waited outside of the ICU, praying for word of his friend's survival, she decided she didn't like how weak his own self-confidence was. After the third 'this is my fault, I should have led them better' she had had enough.

"Oh quit the angst, it doesn't suit you. You did your job to the best of your abilities and no one can or will fault you for that except yourself. Now the fact is so far none of them have died, and your mission was successful." He still didn't look like he was going to give up, but he could see the wisdom in her words, and she could tell she was getting through to him. She pressed on. "Every ninja, in every village, knows that someday they may be called on to give their life for the mission, whatever it is, whether its stupid or not. Anyone who doesn't realize that is a complete fool, and you don't strike me as the type to worry over complete fools" he gave her a hard look but the self-pity in his eyes was gone. Determination and anger mixed together had replaced that in the lazy Chuunin's eyes.

Temari shrugged off the look he gave her and congratulated herself on getting him out of his funk. The kid was going to be Konoha's war advisor and chief strategist, so it made no sense to allow the Sand's greatest ally to blunt themselves that way. Still, she wasn't terribly fond of just waiting around, and she was decidedly unwelcome here at that moment, so she got up and wandered off to her own thoughts. A silent Shikamaru waited 'til she was out of earshot before releasing a breath he hadn't realized he was holding and sat down where she had been only a moment ago, thinking about different ways to approach the same problem, now that he had the time, so he might be better prepared next time.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts, he hadn't noticed when an older shadow-user sat down beside him, taking his silence as a sulk. The man put a hand on his son's shoulder, attempting to reassure him, one of scant few moments the older Nara had been terribly fatherly.

Shikamaru was surprised by the touch, not because his father was a bad father (his patriarchal capacities were debatable, but the strategist would stand by him were he questioned), but because he was distracted and not terribly with it just then. He blinked at the older man curiously. "Pops? What're you doing here?"

That wasn't the reaction he'd expected, and he pulled his hand back quickly. "I was coming to see how you were. And how Chouji was, his father wasn't allowed in here after he tried to break down the door to see him. You know this wasn't your fault."

The pineapple-haired kid shook his head. "No, this is my fault, but it's done now and everyone's still alive. Naruto managed to pull off the mission despite my mistakes, all I can do is prepare more for the next time a situation like this comes up. Don't get me wrong, I regret fucking things up like this, but that doesn't mean I'm going to sulk and be troublesome," he concluded with that same determined look he got when he came up with a new strategy to beat his opponent.

The older Nara was shocked by his son's maturity, and was actually at a loss for what to say. An awkward silence stretched on between the two of them, neither knew words with which to break it, so they went back to their respective thoughts. The atmosphere grew tense with a unique form of lazy tension, that to most was comparable to a feeling of vertigo or intense nausea.

This was the kind of atmosphere that the hokage's messenger walked into sometime later that afternoon. She was momentarily struck by simultaneous powerful urges to take a nap and vomit, and oddly, to play a game of shogi. However, she shrugged off the atmosphere's influences long enough to break the silent tension. "Shikamaru? Nara Shikamaru?" The tension lifted as two faces jerked in her direction. She was frozen to the spot by the twin glares, but she persevered. "H-hokage-sama sent this…" her hand came forward with a neatly tied together letter. She bowed and made a hasty, but dignified, retreat.

With a faint 'troublesome' that barely had any heart in it, Shikamaru unfolded the letter and glanced over the contents. The third time he read the thing he registered its meaning, and stood up, folding the letter again. He looked at Chouji's room and then started to walk away again, calling over his shoulder to his father.

"I have to go and prepare a mission report for the hokage. I won't be back here until tomorrow afternoon." There was just the barest hint of hesitance in his voice as he spoke. "Please keep an eye on Chouji if you can, geez, if I'd known being a Chuunin would be so troublesome…" his voice trailed away as he left the corridor.

The older Nara figured that was the closest they would ever come to amicability, and smiled. A glance down the hall told him he was alone, and his hand snaked around to the ninja pouch, pulling free a worn orange book with a fleeing woman and a chasing man on the cover.

Were things in Chouji's ICU slightly less hectic, they would hear a faint giggling from outside.

The Hokage's office struck its current resident as being much like her younger brother. When it was only herself and Shizune, it seemed small and compact, but with everything easily accessible. When she needed to give out missions, there was space aplenty. She would have sworn that when she woke up with a hang over the window actually moved just so that the light wouldn't give her a migraine. It had always in the past seemed to change itself for her convenience and the comfort of those she cared for.

Sometimes, half-drunk but unable to sleep, she stared at the ceiling in her chambers at three am. Amid flurries of questions and ponderings that her intoxicated mind could summon up, the thoughts of her office frequently came up, and she wondered how and why it did that. Just before she had gone to sleep once, she had figured out reality in general, and her office in particular was afraid of what she'd do to it if it didn't accommodate her whims.

This morning proved to her that, sometimes, reality was more of a bitch than she was. Really, really bitchy. Bad hangover bitchy.

Actually the morning itself was beautiful, the sun was up, there were no clouds in the sky, the pleasant smell of flowers hung in the air, and there were more than a few ninja and civilian couples milling about on this lazy Sunday. What made the day suck so spectacularly for the Hokage, was the fact that the office was the biggest it had ever been, and empty apart from her desk, eight chairs against the opposite wall, and a tall clock against another wall. The eight chairs were for the Konoha council, and were as yet unoccupied, but the space between each of them consumed a lot of the available floor space, and there would have to be several ninja in the room, her own attendant, and any of the council's little minions, not to mention the record-keeping individual who would write down the proceedings to be stored in the archives.

Some days, it sucked to have to be the one in power. If she had held the meeting in the council chambers they would all have had space to stand or sit comfortably and easily, but then she would have given more power to the council, and weakened the value of her ninja. The way she had set this up, the council would not be invited to receive any direct attention from her ninja, who would be resolutely focused on their leader.

Or at least, Tsunade hoped, prayed, and had considered sacrificing her apprentice to a variety of gods for. She knew, however, that it would never turn out that easily, the three ninja's eyes that met hers confirmed this pessimistic outlook. Some days, she decided very resolutely…

Naruto had woken up, as normal, with the dawn. People really didn't expect that of the periodically late and frequently idiotic genin, but actually he did. He always woke up at dawn, spent an hour forgetting that his life would suck if anyone else were him and praying to the spirits all around him that he'd have their ability to ignore the world around them and live on as they chose. Another hour of isometric muscle training (though Naruto didn't know precisely what that meant, he understood that tensing and pushing his muscles for an hour every day made him loosen up). When that was done, he normally decided that he would go back to sleep.

On that particular day, he had decided to wake, eat, bathe, and dress, forgoing his traditional two hour activities in favor of more sleep, he needed sleep, his chakra was empty from the healing yesterday, but at the same time his reserves had boosted considerably. Later this day, he would consider the skipping out of prayers and excercise to be a tremendous mistake, which part more so, he wouldn't figure out until his sensei gave him insight, years later.

Clad in his traditional orange with blue jacket and trousers, he momentarily considered how old these clothes were, how much abuse they'd seen. Then he remembered the hole in his jacket, the one that punched through both sides, and there was a blinding moment of pain right through his chest, but he managed to tune it out, and he stopped trying to think about that ragged hole that should still have been through his chest.

A brief moment of thought, and he decided that if the council and some others were going to be there, the jacket would add something to the presentation… Besides, he really didn't have much in the way of alternatives. He strapped on his sandals and went to the Hokage's offices, he noticed she looked rather distracted upon his entry, and being the first one there, he just stood around in the middle of the room. Actually his brain shut off while he stood there, regaining a bit of lost energy. He was so gone that he didn't notice when Shikamaru showed up and gave his torn jacket a befuddled look. Even when Kakashi poofed into existence beside him, he didn't notice, despite the jounin's uncharacteristic timeliness.

However, when the door slid open again, his eyes snapped open and locked onto the forms and hateful looks of disgust from the eight men who would just as soon have him dead. It wasn't any different from normal, the looks they gave him, it was the same he always faced, so why did it bother him so much? His eyes had already taken on an unearthly glow and he felt chakra flowing through him, hot and angry and ugly.

He forced himself to calm and looked to the hokage, she gave him an ambiguous look, but nothing else. Sighing mentally, he decided that today wasn't going to go right even if…

Urahara Zanzai was the oldest member of the Konoha Elder Council (less affectionately known as the council, or just "Those f-ugly bastards"), and consequently, its spokesman. There were no rules that stated that, but it seemed to be a tacit tradition, the fact that he vehemently agreed with their philosophies (namely "Belittle and push away the Hokage, Make the vessel's life a living hell, Put the council in position to benefit most from any position), merely added their unanimous support to his words.

Because of this position, all of his peers and their attendants led him in, though the attendants were swiftly and soundly thrown out, the two ANBU outside of the office grinned savagely beneath their masks, focusing their malign eyes on the vulnerable attendants. The council men and women went on anyway, ignoring the slap in the face with practiced snobbery. They spared none of the ninja or leaders present any looks, save for the contempt and in some cases outright hate, for the demon-child.

Again with that self-same superiority, the council members took the seats left available to them without being asked, and managed to look formal and utterly relaxed at once. An effect they just knew would piss off the hokage. The grin she answered their unspoken challenge with only served to build an uneasiness that had been growing in the Urahara's stomach since they entered.

Even before the meeting began, one of the younger (only in his sixties) council members spoke up with haughty indignity "Why is that offensive little… creature here?" The councilman indicated the Kyuubi-container.

Shikamaru, being Shikamaru and Naruto's age (4), did not at first understand. After thinking about it, he decided that it must have been Naruto's reputation as a prankster, combined with the village's apparent inherent enmity of the genin. Though none of it made practical sense to the genius, he had reconciled humans and their troublesome tendencies in his mind long ago.

Kakashi winced slightly, his visible eye narrowing at first in sympathy, and then in his own anger. What the hell was wrong with them, he was thirteen (4), he hated to agree with Gai but Naruto should've been enjoying his life devoid of serious stresses (read: MAKING THE BEST OF HIS SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH!). And these putzes, these village leaders who had taken great time and effort to shove their heads as deep into their asses as they could seemed to forget that he was not an adult, or the Kyuubi, seemed hell-bent on making his life terrible and painful. His angry internal tirade was cut short as he felt chakra boil off of his student, and it took all of Kakashi's willpower not to stare at him.

Naruto's eyes were glowing again, his teeth gritted together and his own mixed energy was carrying disturbing impressions. The three other ninja in the room could feel the angry and enraged chakra their comrade, where everything about him normally seemed infectiously happy and cheerful, determined to succeed, this new feeling from him just felt ugly, ugly and infinite. That thought came with another one attached to it, and Shikamaru thought it felt something akin to looking into the abyss as one fell, he decided very firmly that he wanted to clean himself off as soon as he stopped shaking.

Naruto was exercising self-restraint that would have impressed even the overestimating Tsunade at that moment, just to keep his radiating energy from destroying the cretins behind him. He caught the Hokage's guarded understanding and his chakra signature disappeared as he drew that ugliness back inside, and locked it away with his other unhappy feelings. The grin plastered itself in place almost automatically, and Tsunade's eyes turned piteous to her little brother before hardening and looking at the council.

"This shinobi is here because I want him to be here, and as the military leader of this village, I command ALL of MY shinobi" Tsunade had chosen the particular words with effect in mind, stressing subtly the shinobi title, and emphasizing the fact that all the village's shinobi answered her first, as was written in the village's constitution. Urahara winced mentally at her attack, and at the unspoken meaning, they were not in charge, and they could not boss around this hokage as they had done with the third. Or the fourth.

Actually, there were a good many reasons why Tsunade wanted her little brother here, and they were all equally valid. But right now the council pissed her off, and she wanted to establish without question who was in charge here. Too bad the bastards couldn't feel chakra, she would love for them to know what kind of beast they were poking at.

"If there are no further objections," she didn't wait for any others to speak "then we shall begin this debriefing. Nara Shikamaru, as team leader I trust you know what happened, please begin" she sat back for a moment as a nameless attendant scribbled down the account of their pursuit, the Nara was absolutely and completely truthful to the best of his ability.

"After I threw Naruto over the Sound-nin, I attempted to distract her, to give Naruto as much time as possible to get to Sasuke. As my abilities are not heavily combat-oriented, I was losing fairly badly until Temari of Sunagakure showed up and saved me with apparent ease. There wasn't anything we could do at that point so we returned to Konoha." He concluded his report and looked to the hokage.

She nodded slowly. "Very good," she looked to Naruto "Continue from when you began your pursuit."

The blonde nodded and recalled to her his brief battle with the bone-user, Sasuke's departure, Rock Lee's appearance, and his subsequent battle. "When I caught sight of Sasuke, I used only my other chakra to beat him, his curse seal was already affecting him, and I had to take him down before he got serious, otherwise I might have had to kill him, and then everyone else would have suffered for nothing.

"Of course if Kakashi-sensei hadn't been so quick in finding the both of us, chances are Sasuke would've gotten away and I'd probably not wake up if he had." The implication there was the blonde's normal barely veiled way of degrading someone else's character.

"Which brings us to the last part. Kakashi, I know what happened, you brought Naruto and Sasuke back to Konoha for emergency medical treatment. Would you please summarize their status when you picked them up and when they got here?" Her eyes bored into Kakashi's single visible orb and he stiffened a bit under the scrutiny.

"Yes ma'am," Naruto glanced sideways at him, calling the Hokage 'ma'am' was not something his sensei normally would do. "When I got to them, Uchiha Sasuke had a circular flesh wound on his stomach, his elbows and knees were all quite expertly stabbed through with kunai. It looked like a lot of thought went into the technique used because they had been quite incapacitating, but should've been easier to heal and didn't seem fatal. Naruto on the other hand, had a mass of scar tissue covering the left side of his face and lower on his chest, there was a hole running all the way through his body. In addition his back was shredded, like someone had taken a bunch of razors and put them in front of an exploding note. Beyond that his chakra releasing points were mostly burned out."

Shikamaru blinked at the information about Naruto's wounds. He can't have been wounded that badly, he looks fine! Even Neji didn't have wounds that severe.

"When we returned, Sasuke was quickly stabilized by the medical staff in the hospital, those that could be spared from working on the Akimichi, Hyuuga and Inuzuka genin. Naruto himself was tended by you, ma'am, as I'm sure you recall. You were able to heal the worst of the wounds thanks to your talent and his regenerative… bloodline." Naruto glanced at his sensei, wondering about the lie for a moment, before he realized that Shikamaru didn't know, and silently thanked him for it.

The Hokage nodded slowly, folding her fingers in front of her. She glared at the councilors beyond her ninja, deigning to bring them into the conversation finally. "Now that you have heard the facts, I would like to know what you think we should do with the Uchiha boy. I will take into consideration the words of all gathered here now, but I will tell you this, I think he should be put to death, like any traitor, and if you argue against this then you must have a damn good reason or I'll throw your thoughts, and maybe you, out the window."

She had spoken in one long breath, the councilors had not had any time to interrupt her before she finished. Again, her blatant disregard for the leaders of the village was shocking to them, they who had for so long ruled pliant and obedient Hokages. Urahara Zanzai glowered and held his hand for the others to remain silent.

"Speaking on behalf of the council," his wheezing old voice began, but it picked up strength and certainty as he went on. "I feel we cannot afford to lose the Uchiha bloodline completely, I further feel that the Uzumaki clan's influence was the primary ingredient in the Uchiha's betrayal. Therefore, we collectively suggest that the Uchiha be reinstated with full active status, awarded chuunin rank for luring four attacking nin into traps that killed them, placed under a more competent sensei-" Kakashi winced and Naruto looked enraged again, though his chakra wasn't leaking out again, thank kami for that.

Tsunade halted the ridiculous act. "Enough! I am well aware of the council's suggestions, and their motives. While I acknowledge the.." she forced the word "wisdom, of the council, I must point out several things." She grinned, oh this was going to be fun. "First of all, the Uchiha bloodline and its Sharingan eye are lost, maybe not for three more generations, but there's no way without severe inbreeding and forced marriages, which I will not use for an overrated technique Xerox." She gave the copy ninja a brief, apologetic look. "Second is the fact that if the Uchiha lives, it will only draw down Orochimaru's wrath again, and we may not survive a second assault, as the military leader of this community I cannot accept that. And last, if anyone tries to pin the blame on my little brother again, I'll demonstrate why peasants are supposed to defer to warriors, beginning with you, Urahara-san."

The mentioned councilman gave her a look that promised revenge, but it was mirrored by the Hokage's eyes, and in the end, he knew she could do what she threatened, and looked away. The Hokage grinned, she won that fight, and that was just the first one. Her amber eyes moved to the jounin again, inviting his opinion.

Hatake Kakashi sighed heavily, not wanting to say what he had to say. "He should be executed, as soon as possible. His actions are inexcusable and his continuing life only makes Konoha more appealing to Orochimaru." He couldn't quite look to anyone when he said this, so he focused on the wall behind the hokage, in any other scenario he'd read his book. Tsunade nodded thoughtfully and looked to the orange-clad eyesore.

He took a deep breath before he spoke, it took a great effort of will to do it without expressing his desires. "Sasuke can't ever be allowed to serve as a ninja again. If no one dies from this then let's let him live, here, with his chakra and Sharingan sealed. Killing him after what we just went through to bring him back is a slap in the face to our squad." Tsunade was a bit surprised by the fact that he had to speak through gritted teeth. Something was wrong with her little boy, and she had every intention of talking to him later.

With an effort of will she drew her eyes to Shikamaru, who promptly took his cue. "Ah, yes, well… It's troublesome to let him live, Naruto is right, if we didn't want him to live then what's the point of sending us out to recover him? And its an unusually bright idea for us to seal off his chakra and Sharingan, but since the seal can't affect his genetics we might still get a few generations of Sharingan users, who may be more loyal to Konoha without such ambitions as killing a brother. What's more, it may give us an opportunity to lure Orochimaru into a trap and avenge the sandaime. Frankly it'll be better to keep track of the Uchihas and Orochimaru's target than to, say, exile him, or outright deny Orochimaru his target."

Again Tsunade nodded calmly and was about to end the meeting when Naruto spoke up again. "Ba- Hokage-sama… I'm begging you not to kill him, other than that I don't care just don't kill him."

"Naruto… I-" she was interrupted by the same councilor who spoke before.

"Stop acting as if you cared demon! It's your fault if he dies anyway and you couldn't care less, about that boy or about this village!" Urahara Zanzai resisted the urge to slap his forehead at his associate's idiocy.

A tense moment passed as Tsunade, eyes narrowed to slits, walked closer and stood over the councilman, who stared defiantly up at her. Her voice was strained, but formal, carrying a heavy sound of finality. "You have violated the third Hokage's law. The punishment for this is death." She snapped her fingers and one of the chuunin outside came in, she looked to him. "Take this man to a holding cell, his sentence will be carried out shortly, he has no rank so anything he says is to be disregarded" Her tone brooked no argument and the chuunin quickly complied as the council erupted into hysterical cries of outrage.

The councilor in question struggled in the Chuunin's grasp, but he was a sixty year old man, not a highly trained ninja in his early twenties. He was gone and his cries were no longer heard. The Hokage glared at the village council and smiled a cold, ruthless smile. They quieted quickly. "I am Hokage, not a tool of the council, I command this village's military forces, you guide its civilian affairs. I am not the Third or the Fourth, and I will not bend to your will, if you think you're above the law, I'll know, and you'll not get away with a damn thing." She turned her back on the stunned council and returned to her desk.

"Leave. Now." Shocked, relieved, outraged, the council made haste and left with as much dignity as they could muster. None of the shinobi present looked surprised, well actually Naruto was surprised, but he was emotionally shocked for the moment so he just looked impassive, an unnatural expression for his whiskered face. Shikamaru had guessed by the positioning and the phrasing here that this had been a demonstration of the Hokage's independence. He still wondered about that third's law that Tsunade had mentioned, but didn't know what to think of it.

Kakashi wasn't in the least surprised, as soon as the last councilor was out the door he was reading Icha Icha Paradise again, the dog-eared and worn out novel held at his waist. Tsunade gave him a withering look that he ignored. "Alright, Nara, Hatake, you're both dismissed. Naruto I want you to stick around if you could?" The blonde nodded while his sensei poofed into nothingness and his team leader wandered out to investigate that law, mind awhirl with potentialities. Shizune departed after a look from her master and decided she had work to do at the hospital.

Tsunade moved around her desk when they were alone again and hugged him to her, he still seemed to be a bit stunned and she hoped that the little bit of tenderness she could offer would set him right again, for the moment at least.

His lack of outward reaction should have warned her, as she clutched him so tightly. Perhaps it was because everyone told her what a great healer was, she believed it again. Maybe she just wanted to believe that her little brother couldn't be so down in the dumps for long. It was something though.

The short blonde hugged her back, body half-shaking at the physical contact. The contact was brief and then he pushed away. "Hey, Baa-chan, don't coddle me like some little kid!" The strained indignation in his voice made her smile, because she wanted to believe it.

"Yeah, yeah, kid, now get out 'cuz I've got work." Her scolding was the same way, forced, and Naruto wanted to believe it.

Shizune was the only one still thinking right when she watched Naruto walk out of the office in a funk. Sighing, she shook her head and went in to tend to her master, thinking to herself. Some days just wouldn't go right if you paid them.

End Chapter Two "Of Furred Humanoid Things and Chronological Bribery"

(1): Do recall that in the original anime, Sakura didn't train under Tsunade until after the first attempt to find Otogakure (Tea Country arc I think).

(2): Seriously, I have no idea where this comes from, but it hit me one day while I was eating pocky and I laugh to the point of incapacitation every time.

(3): Am I the only one who wonders how just enough medic-nin went out to find the three most critically injured combatants?

(4): Okay, no not really… but no one quite realizes what age Naruto actually is.

Author Notes: Looking for a beta, working on more of this and my other stories, In A New Light, You Steal My Lies, At Any Cost, Deathstalker Fulfillment, and Leviathan's Pryde. There is one more chapter pre-written, and if I get ten reviews I will finish the chapter after that and post it.