Happy New Year everyone! Well, here is Chapter Nine. I labored hard on this one, but I'm slightly worried about the reaction I might receive. The next chapter will be nicer --I promise you. And let's see if anyone picks up on the little clue of things possibly to come in the future.
Gabbi - Thank you so much for your wonderful review. I'm so glad someone picks up on the little things I throw in there.
Lindsay - If you like angry Jack, you'll love this chapter ;)
Kat - You'll get your wish, there are some more 'Lost' originals coming up in a few chapters.
Lostbeth - Yup, they want to say I love you.
Chapter 9
For the first time in a long time, Kate awoke completely clothed.
There was an annoying buzzing in her ear that just wouldn't stop. Finally, in her half-lucid, eyes still closed stage she came to realize that it was Jack's alarm clock, letting him know it was time to get up for work. Jack never slept through his alarm clock. However, the warm lump she was cuddled up to let her know that he, indeed, was.
Letting out an annoyed huff, Kate shoved him. Opening her eyes, she burrowed deeper into the covers. "Jack, turn that goddamned thing off." The only response was a muffled mumble from his side of the bed.
She shoved harder. "Turn it off now!" When even a really rough shove didn't grant her a response, Kate threw the blankets off herself and leaned over Jack, turning the alarm clock off herself. "Fine," she grumbled more to herself than him. "I told you to go to bed last night, and you didn't listen. So, you can just go and oversleep and miss work. See if I care."
Kate was getting ready to crawl back under the covers, when Jack's arms wrapped around her, bringing her down on top of him. His face nuzzled itself into her neck. "Good morning, sunshine."
Letting out a sigh, Kate relaxed into Jack, closing her eyes again. "Damn alarm clock."
He murmured his agreement, lightly placing kissing along her neck. In his still half-asleep stage the entire night before, and Sawyer being there had seemed like nothing but a weird dream. But now, as he became fully awake, he realized it had, unfortunately, all been real. "I'd better get in the shower."
"Mmhmm," Kate agreed, wrapping her arms around him tighter. "You do that. Wake me up when you're done, I need one too. I should still have time to make you some breakfast if you want."
Jack stood up, taking Kate with him. Ignoring her protests, he shifted her to where she was hanging over his shoulder. "Jack," she whined. "Put me down. Go get your shower! You're not funny."
"I just thought that if you need a shower, and I need a shower, there's no sense in wasting the water for both us to take separate showers," he placed a kiss on her lips as she wrapped her legs around his waist. "We can just take one together."
"I see," Kate nodded, his idea perking her up. "I guess that would give me more time to get your breakfast ready. . ."
"Exactly," Jack smiled as he set her down in the bathroom, shutting the door behind them. "Everyone wins this way."
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Over forty minutes later Kate, her hair still damp on the ends, finally got around to starting breakfast. She had just put the eggs on the stove when Jack walked downstairs, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. He placed a trail of kisses down her neck, "You smell good."
"Well, I should," she returned, not being able to wipe the grin off her face. "I just had a very long shower." Kate turned around, allowing him to capture her lips in a passionate kiss. The kiss deepened, and the spatula in her hand dropped to the stove as her hands went to untuck his shirt.
Jack's hands moved to her thighs as he lifted her up onto the counter without breaking their kiss. "Jack," she laughed softly, trying to pull away, as his lips traveled to the hollow of her neck. "You're going to be late. And how can you even have energy for this after," she was interrupted as his lips found hers again. After several long seconds she pulled away, "After that shower we just took."
"Nothing important scheduled for this morning," Jack assured her between kisses. "I can be late. We could go take another shower," he suggested with a grin. "Or the counter's good for me."
Kate laughed, pulling him closer to her. Her hands began to undo the buttons of his shirt, and she became oblivious to the world around her. They were finally forced to tear apart from each other when a voice exclaimed, "son of a bitch!"
Smoothing her shirt down, Kate let herself down off the counter. She quickly ran her hand through her hair as Jack slowly buttoned his shirt back up.
Sawyer watched them, an unreadable expression on his face. Letting go of his shoulder, he motioned towards the stove, "Eggs are burnin'."
Laughing nervously, Kate turned the stove off and moved the pan to a front burner. Poking at the food with her spatula, Kate tried to lighten the mood, "I think some of them are salvageable. Oh, and look, the toast is done too! Is everyone hungry?" She turned back towards them, a forced smile on her face.
Jack and Sawyer both stared at her as though she were speaking a foreign language. With a slight roll of his eyes, Sawyer sat down slowly on a stool. "A beer sounds good."
Kate bit the inside of her lip, and walked over to his side. "Are you feeling alright, Sawyer? I'm sure you must be in a lot of pain. . . I'll get you a couple pills, alright?" She quickly made her way back across the kitchen, opening the cabinet where Jack's aspirin was kept. Jack watched her, aggravated.
Placing the pills on the counter in front of Sawyer, Kate opened the refrigerator, grabbing the orange juice. "We don't have any beer. Juice is better for you anyway, it'll get your strength back up." She poured a glass full, and sat it in front of him. "Jack, why don't you check on Sawyer's shoulder before you go into work?" Without waiting for a response from Jack, she smiled at Sawyer, sitting down next to him. "I thought you'd be asleep for a couple more hours."
"Couldn't really sleep," Sawyer told her, putting the pills in his mouth, then taking a drink of the juice. He made a face, and smiled, speaking sarcastically, "My shoulder's just a tad sore, and you two bangin' around down here didn't make it any easier."
"Sorry, Sawyer," Jack said dryly, walking over to the counter, and motioning for Sawyer to let him look at his shoulder. "Next time we have a slumber party Kate and I will try to keep it down so you can get your full 8 hours, k?"
"Listen," Sawyer said, standing up quickly. He winced in sudden pain, but bit the inside of his cheek, pushing it back. "I didn't ask for any handouts, Doc, I can just --"
"Now who wants butter and who wants jelly?" Kate interrupted, holding up two pieces of toast, and stepping in between Jack and Sawyer. She waved a piece of toast in the air, attempting a smile.
"I'll be home in a couple hours," Jack said, shaking his head. "I'll have your medication, Sawyer, and then you can be on your way." He turned his attention to Kate, giving her a pointed glare. "Unless you have a problem with that."
Kate shook her head quickly, standing on the tip of her toes and kissing him. "No. Have a good day at work, Jack."
After cleaning up the uneaten breakfast, Kate showed Sawyer where he could shower, and sat down on the couch, grateful for a few minutes of silence. It wasn't even nine in the morning, and her head was already pounding.
She had never taken time to think about how easy it was just being her and Jack. In some ways, it wasn't anything close to a real relationship. They didn't go out anywhere together, and most likely never would. There were no outside challenges, except the few appearances his mother had made during her stay. She was sure no one at his work, none of his friends or family, had any idea he was involved with anyone. They had yet to talk about their pasts.
What Kate couldn't figure out was why, when all that was true, whatever was going on between her and Jack felt more real than anything in her life ever had.
"What you thinkin' about, Freckles?" Sawyer's voice snapped her out of her deep thinking. "You look a little worried."
"I'm alright," Kate shook her head, sitting up straighter. "How's your shoulder feeling? Did the shower help any?"
"When'd you decide to get all motherly?" Sawyer asked, with a slight roll of his eyes. "I gotta tell you -- it borders on annoying."
"Sorry," Kate rolled her eyes. "I should have guessed you weren't the type who liked being looked after. You ever going to say what it was you did to get yourself shot?"
"Not plannin' on it," Sawyer winked and shook his head. "Ain't nothin' you need to get involved in, or think about. Just makin' a living." In an effort to change the subject, he gestured around the room. "Some place Jack's got himself."
"It is pretty nice," Kate agreed softly. She tucked her legs under her, turning her body towards Sawyer. "It was a mess when I showed up, it probably still would be if I didn't hang out here and clean every day."
"You never struck me as the housewife type, Freckles," Sawyer said, sounding amused. "But from the looks of things, you seem pretty damn good at it. Cleanin' house, makin' eggs, even givin' Jack bedroom benefits." He winked at her, and she rolled her eyes.
She shook her head, speaking quietly. "I'm not anybody's housewife, Sawyer."
Sawyer nodded slowly, meeting her eyes. "You really like it here with him?"
Kate glanced at her hands, trying to figure out if she should tell him what was going on in her head. Finally, she gave in. "You know, I almost looked you up and came to you."
He arched his eyebrow, as though he'd never considered this possibility. "And why's that?"
"I knew-- " Kate cleared her throat. "I knew that if I came to you, I could leave when I needed to. And I knew that if I came here, this is exactly what would happen. I knew I'd want to stay. I knew something would happen between me and Jack. I just never guessed that it would be something of this magnitude. I don't think I would know how to leave even if I wanted to. But I don't seem myself wanting to anytime soon."
"You in love with him, Freckles?"
Kate dodged his question. "Being here with Jack isn't like anything I have ever experienced. I'm not stupid. I know I don't deserve any of it, I know it won't last forever. But I try not to think about either of those things. The only thing I let myself think about is how here it's like I'm almost home. And if this is as close as I ever get, that's okay with me."
Sawyer silently accepted her reasoning, and the rest of their day together was spent in peaceful chitchat.
Around dinnertime Kate stood in the kitchen, making Sawyer a turkey sandwich. Jack came in through the kitchen door, smiling and kissing her quickly. In his hand were two bags from the pharmacy. "Wow, you're really hooking him up."
Jack laughed softly, handing her one of the bags. "Actually, this one is for you." He watched as she opened the bag, and her cheeks reddened slightly. "I just thought if we were going to continue doing what we're doing, they might come in handy. Have you ever been on the pill before?"
Her embarrassment gave way to amusement, and she laughed when he spoke to her in such a doctorly tone, "Yes, once." She sat the bag on the counter. "I'll start taking them after my next period."
"Which should be," Jack glanced at the calendar. "Wow. Apparently any second now." He pulled her into a hug, kissing her again. "You've been here a lot longer than it seems."
Kate laughed nervously, pulling away and going back to making the sandwich. "Yeah, well, I've never been very regular. And the stress of being on the island, then getting rescued, and having to worry about the Feds again. Now everything with us is going on, and Sawyer showing up. Who knows when I'll actually start? It could be another month or something."
Jack cocked his head, eyeing her curiously. "Are you okay?"
Before she had a chance to respond, Sawyer strutted into the kitchen, rolling his eyes when he noticed Jack's presence. "Not interruptin' anything, am I?"
Kate smiled, shaking her head. "Nope. Here's your sandwich. I'll make you one too, Jack." Quickly she got the bread back out, and reopened the refrigerator door, silently telling herself to make Jack's sandwich just a little bigger and better than Sawyer's.
Dinner was tense. Sawyer seemed to enjoy his food, eating quickly, while Kate and Jack both just nibbled at what lay in front of them. Jack finished almost an entire bottle of whiskey. Kate didn't think she'd ever seen him drink so much in one sitting. Leave it to Sawyer to worsen any situation.
After Kate had cleared the table, the three headed back into the living room. Kate took a seat on the couch, as Jack handed Sawyer his bag from the pharmacy. "Don't take anymore than one of these at a time, every six hours. You'll want to make sure you take them on a full stomach, or they'll make you sick." With a short nod, he headed back to his liquor cabinet.
"Sure these are mine?" Sawyer asked with a smirk, holding up the pharmacy bag. "Wouldn't want you to get it confused with Freckle's birth control or somethin'."
Jack turned, crossing the room in two long strides. "This is my house. What do you think gives you the right to be such an asshole?" He crossed his arms, staring at Sawyer challengingly.
Sawyer glanced quickly at Kate, a smirk spreading across his face. "Looks like I struck a nerve. Why you always gotta be such a do-gooder, Jackass?" He took a step closer to Jack, letting his prescription fall to the coffee table.
Jack's nostrils flared as he stepped forward, and for a split second Kate thought he was actually going to hit Sawyer. It appeared as though he changed his mind at the last second, and he turned around, walking away and shaking his head. Kate let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding.
Sawyer, however, didn't seem to want to let it go so easily. "Your daddy was wrong about you. You ain't hardly a man, let alone a great one."
Jack turned around quickly, grabbing Sawyer by his shirt and pushing him up against the wall. "What the hell did you just say?" Sawyer laughed, seemingly enjoying Jack's outburst.
"Tell me, Jack. What exactly do you think he had to be proud of you about?" Sawyer's eyes gleamed as he asked the question.
Jack stared at Sawyer for a few moments, before a rage he couldn't control started to swirl inside him. He slammed Sawyer against the wall twice before letting him go, "Don't you ever talk about my father."
Sawyer moved towards Jack, enticing him further. "Ever since I realized it was your daddy I'd met in that bar, I wondered what it was you did that made him fly all the way to Australia to get away from you. I thought it prob'ly had somethin' to do with that drinkin' problem he seemed to have, but from the looks a-things, you and dear ol' Daddy got that in common."
Jack lunged at Sawyer, but Sawyer was too quick this time, and the alcohol was clearly taking affect on Jack. Sawyer started to speak again, but Kate stood up, almost too bewildered to talk.
"Stop it both of you!" Kate stood in between them, placing a hand on Jack's chest. He was breathing heavily, and quickly stepped back from her touch. "Would either of you care to explain to me what the hell you're talking about?"
Sawyer grinned at her. "Jack's dad, Christian, and I shared a. . ." he paused, as though looking for the right wording. "Last meal of sorts over in Australia."
Kate glanced quickly to Jack, wondering if what Sawyer was saying was true. She spoke quietly, reaching out for his arm. "You told me your dad died in Australia, Jack."
Sawyer rolled his eyes. "Hence the use of the phrase last meal, Freckles." He smirked at her, "Although if we're gettin' technical it was more of a last drink. He ain't told you why his daddy was over there? Healthy relationship. . ."
Shooting Sawyer an aggravated look, Kate took a hold of Jack's hand, squeezing it softly. "Why don't you go get cleaned up, Jack?"
"Yeah, Kate," Jack said bitterly, yanking out of her grasp. "How about I head on upstairs and give you and Sawyer some more alone time."
He shook his head, and picked his glass back up, taking a long drink. Refilling it, he held it up towards Kate as though toasting. "My father was an alcoholic. Probably the worst alcoholic you would ever meet. Around a year or so ago he got in to this habit of drinking while on the job," Jack took a drink, and laughed bitterly. "Now, I guess for some jobs -- jobs like let's say for random example, being a fugitive -- it's okay to drink a little on the job. But if your chief of surgery, it's looked down upon."
Kate glanced away from him, momentarily stung, but eventually met his gaze again, silently urging him to continued.
"He got through a couple surgeries alright. He could perform small tasks, and a few times I stepped in for him before he tried anything too outrageous." Jack took another drink, sitting down on the couch, seemingly losing awareness that either Sawyer or Kate was still present. "But then, one day, this nurse comes up to me all frantic. She says my father is obviously drunk, and is really screwing a surgery up."
"By the time I get to the OR he's already severed this woman's hepatic artery," Jack looked from Sawyer to Kate, a crazy smirk on his face. "Not that I expect either of you to know what that means, but it's not good. So I confront him about it, and he denies what happened because that's what my father did. Nothing was ever his fault. Then, he tries to get me to sign this form that releases him from any responsibility. And I did it," he glanced a Kate, a single tear gleaming in his eye.
"I did it because he promised me it wouldn't happen again," Jack shook his head, disgusted with himself. "I knew he didn't mean it, but all I ever wanted from him was approval. I thought maybe I would finally get it by doing what he asked. But what I didn't know was that this woman was pregnant. My father hadn't just killed her, he'd killed her baby, too. And I couldn't let him get away with it, I couldn't take the chance of it happening again to someone else."
He sighed shakily, standing up, going to refill his drink again. "He didn't talk to me in the two months between then and when he died. The last thing he ever told me was what I disappointment I was, what a disappointment I had always been." He turned towards Sawyer, shrugging. "So that's what I did that made him fly all the way to Australia, and have a heart attack."
The three stood rigid, none of them actually looking at another. Finally, Sawyer reached down and picked up his bag from off the table. "Well, I'd best be on my way." He started to walk out of the room, but turned back, looking seriously at Kate. "You ever need anything, you look me up, and I'll help you however I can, Freckles."
He turned back around, a few seconds later the front door opened, then slammed shut.
Kate took a step towards Jack. "I am so --"
"Don't," Jack interrupted her, with a short shake of his head. "It's not your fault. There's nothing you can do. We're not going to talk about it again. Do you understand all that?"
Kate nodded slowly, continuing on towards him, softly placing a hand on his arm. "Is there anything I can get for you?"
"Nope," Jack shook his head. "I have my liquor cabinet right here. What more could I need?" He rubbed his temple, sitting back down on the couch. "What you can do is explain to me what exactly it is about him?"
Confused, Kate sat next to him. "What are you talking about?"
"Sawyer," Jack rolled his eyes. "What is it you see in him? You have this compulsion to help him. It's almost pathetic, Kate."
Kate swallowed hard, trying not to let what he said upset her. "It's not -- it's not a compulsion. He just reminds me of someone I once knew."
"Reminds you of someone you once knew," Jack repeated mockingly, twirling his drink around his hand. "Someone you were in love with?"
"No, Jack," Kate whispered, fighting back tears. "That's you."
Jack laughed bitterly, "You want to talk about us and that word?"
Kate glanced away, a few tears slipping down her cheeks. "You're the one who brought it up. Not me."
"Forget I said anything," Jack told her, finishing off his glass. "They asked me to come back in at nine tonight. I'd better go shower first."
Kate looked at him incredulously. "You actually think you can go into work after everything you've drank tonight?"
"I won't operate on anyone," Jack rolled his eyes, standing up. "Just work on some paperwork, maybe do some filing. They need me to sit in on some meeting. . ."
"You are not going to work," Kate told him, shaking her head. She took his glass out of his hand and carried it into the kitchen, dropping it loudly into the sink. "That's final. Call in right now."
"No," Jack told her. He went back to the cabinet, reaching in for another bottle. "I'll be fine. I drink all the time, Kate. I know how to handle myself."
"You're not going in to work, Jack," Kate told him again, her words shaper this time. "After that story you just told about your father, how can you even think about going into work when you've been drinking. I don't understand you."
"No, you don't," Jack agreed. "And I don't understand you. We don't understand each other. So remind me again, what are we doing?"
Kate shook her head, telling herself it wasn't Jack talking, it was just the alcohol. "Come on, Jack. You've had a long day. Let's get you up to bed."
Jack shook his head, "Just stop it, Kate. I'm being serious. What's going on between the two of us, really? How long can we keep this up?"
"Don't do this, Jack," Kate warned him, reaching for the bottle in his hand. "Quit it before you say something that you'll regret tomorrow."
Jack moved away from her, drinking out of the bottle. "The only thing I'm starting to regret is what we've gotten ourselves into. How long until you get sick of this lifestyle, Kate? How long until you take Sawyer up on whatever he offered you?"
"Stop it!" Kate yelled. "I can't deal with you when you're like this, Jack. You're a completely different person when you've drank too much. I don't understand why you do it!" Uninvited tears began to fall down her face. "What's it going to take for you to quit? Is it going to get so bad that one day your child is going to have to fly to some country to try and rescue you when you've ruined your life?"
Jack started towards her, a look on his face Kate had never seen before. For a split second, she thought he was going to hit her. Instead, he stopped right in front of her, and started laughing. "My child, Kate? What non-existent future child is this that we're speaking of? Is it a boy or a girl? And who's it with? You?"
Kate looked down, trying to keep her breathing even. "I wasn't saying that, Jack. I was just giving you a random example. Do you want to end up like your father?"
"I am nothing like my father!" Jack told her. He slammed the bottle he was holding against the liquor cabinet, shattering it into tiny pieces. He took out another full bottle and did the same. "Nothing like him."
As he continued on, Kate turned and walked into the kitchen, picking up the phone. She located Jack's address book in a drawer by the oven, and flipped through several pages. With shaking hands, she dialed the phone. Someone picked up on the third ring.
"Hello, Shephard residence." The voice was slightly British, and Kate was momentarily confused.
"Uh, is Margo there, please?" Her voice came out strained, even though she was desperately trying to control her emotions.
"Mrs. Shephard is busy at the moment. May I take a message, dear?"
"This is very important," Kate told her urgently. "Could you please just tell her that Katherine needs to speak with her immediately."
"Hold please." There was the sound of the phone being set down, and Kate waited nervously.
Several seconds later, a clipped voice spoke, "What can I do for you this evening, Katherine?"
Kate wondered if Margo could hear Jack's incoherent ranting, or the sound of bottles breaking. "Margo, it's Jack. . . I need you to call the hospital, please. Tell them he's sick, and won't be in tonight. He'll probably need a few days off."
"Are you crying, Katherine?" Margo asked, her voice sounding slightly worried. "What's wrong with Jack?"
"He's --" Kate paused, swallowing a sob. "He's had a lot to drink. More than normal. I don't think he should go into work the way he is now. I - I can't call for him, and he won't call himself. Please?"
There was a very loud breaking, and then a slew of profanity. On the other end of the line Margo sighed, her voice coming out softer than Kate had ever heard it, "Would you like me to come over, dear?"
"No," Kate told her. "Thank you, but I think we'll be okay. I'll get him up to bed and then. . . and then he'll be fine."
"I told myself that same thing several times, darling," Margo said, her voice still kind. Then, in an almost imperceptible change, her tone went back to clipped. "I'll call the hospital right away. He'll have the rest of the week off. Good-night, Katherine." The line went dead.
Kate put the phone back on the receiver. She walked into the living room and found Jack standing about three feet back from the liquor cabinet. The floor under it was covered in alcohol and shards of glass. "I called your mother. She's taking care of calling off for you tonight, Jack. She said she'd get you the rest of the week off. Come on, honey, let me help you up to bed."
"Honey?" Jack repeated softly. "We're using pet names now?" He reached for her, running his hand through her hair. "You really are so beautiful."
"Come on," Kate said again, taking hold of his arm. He wrapped his arm around her waist, and let her help him up the stairs to his bedroom.
Lowering him onto the bed, Kate took a pair of sweatpants out of his top dresser drawer. "You didn't cut yourself on the glass, did you?" She began to unbutton his shirt, quickly taking it off him. "Think you can do your pants by yourself?"
"I like it better when you take my pants off," Jack mumbled, lowering his head into his hands. After a few moments, he looked back up at her. "Kate, about what I said down there --"
Kate shook her head, smiling sadly. "Just go to bed, Jack. It'll all be better in the morning."
"But it won't," Jack told her as he laid back on the bed, allowing her to cover him up. "It can't be better. We can't be better than this, Kate." His eyes began to flutter closed. "How can we ever make it better when we're both to afraid to say how we really feel about each other?"
Kate sighed, sitting down next to him, rubbing her hand across his cheek and he quickly drifted into a fitful sleep. She stood up, kissing his cheek softly, "Sweet dreams, Jack."
Making her way downstairs Kate wondered which would be more difficult to clean up -- the mess Jack had made on the living room floor, or the mess they were each making of their lives.
