The Last Piece

Disclaimer: All things related to Stargate Atlantis belong to MGM/Sony. No profit was made from this, but it was a whole lot of fun to write!

AN: Did anyone else notice that the last scene of Holland telling John, if he pulled the plug they could radio and go home ,was a voice over by David Hewlett? Also, what did the native guy that John shot ,say to him? Anyone know?

I also want to thank everyone for their kind reviews. This was fun to write, even though I couldn't do a lot of snarky comments between Rodney and John.

That's something I would really like to try.

(Hanky warning, if not this chapter, then definitely the next one.)

Chapter 2 - Letting go of the past

People in the hallway stepped aside quickly as John ran past them. The urgency of getting to the infirmary driving him on, knowing that a friend was in trouble.

The first person he saw as he entered the infirmary was Carson ,talking to the Daedalus' surgeon and resident Doctor. They were discussing McKay ,for John heard the name mentioned.

"Carson, What's going on? " Sheppard shouted, clearly upset and angry that he hadn't been told about McKay.

The Doctor immediately saw the distress on Sheppard's face and quickly walked over to him.

"Colonel, there you are! I've been calling your quarters every half hour. "

Carson, tried to appear calm, but inside he was anything but. Rodney wasn't doing well and he was afraid of losing him, just like he'd lost the other soldier on the planet. He would never be able to forgive himself if that came to pass.

"What happened to Rodney? How is he?" Sheppard wanted answers.

Carson sighed, Sheppard was understandably upset. After all ,he was the one who had shot McKay and Ronon. The doctor remembered the devastated look on John's face when Ronon told him. At first John had stayed by Rodney's side, as Carson worked on McKay's wound. He told Rodney that he was sorry, but Rodney was fading in and out of consciousness at the time and Carson doubted he heard anything that was said.

Later, when Rodney was stabilized, John seemed to close down all his emotions and went back to making light of the whole incident. He had taken charge , contacted Atlantis asking for medical supplies and also assistance from the Daedalus. Once more he was the soldier and the leader, burying his emotions as well as any real concern for Rodney under that mask he wore during times of great stress.

Carson figured it was John's way of coping and preventing an emotional melt down. Far stronger men had broken over lesser things than shooting a friend.

"I'm afraid it's a little complicated and it's all related to his wound."

Carson then proceeded to tell Sheppard all the details, including Ronon's part in finding McKay bleeding and unconscious in his quarters. He left out nothing preferring to let John know and prepare him if something happened and they lost Rodney.

Carson also admitted his part in allowing this to happen. If he had made Rodney stay in the infirmary it wouldn't have happened.

Sheppard just stood there and listened, realizing that he should have been aware that something was wrong when McKay didn't show up for meals.

All that time wasted ,

Time spent reliving the past and feeling sorry for himself and Holland, the friend that died long ago. All of it had been wasted on someone who was gone . He should have been more concerned about the present and Rodney, who needed John's help now.

Once again the guilt of shooting Rodney came back full force and with it, more guilt about not checking to see if his friend was all right afterwards.

He truly was a poor excuse for a team leader and a failure once again as a friend.

Now I've even failed Rodney. I should have been watching out for him.

There was an ache deep inside him now, one that he'd thought long buried.

It always returned to haunt him, just as he was about to lose someone he cared about....first Holland, then two more of his buddies and now... Rodney.

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In his fevered mind, Rodney was still reliving his worst nightmares. This time he was in the facility on Doranda, trying to shut down the Arcturus weapon, Sheppard was angrily shouting at him, then suddenly he was aiming a gun at Rodney and they were back on the wraith planet.

The bullet's impact spun him around.

Once again Rodney lay bleeding on the ground, unable to get up and shut down the generator, just like he'd been unable to shut down the Arcturus weapon.

He'd failed again!

Sheppard just stood there...looking down at him, his face unreadable.

Rodney faded into oblivion...the pain of knowing that Sheppard had tried to kill him, hurt too much and finally it overwhelmed his senses.

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TBC