The Last Piece

AN: Again, many Thanks to all who reviewed. I hope I've kept everyone in character.

Remember that hanky I warned you about ...

Chapter 4- Letting go of the past, and making it right

It was an hour later when Carson came to check on Rodney. The Doctor smiled when he saw John sitting there, holding Rodney's hand. It was something that Carson also did with his patients. A little human contact went a long ways when someone was ill, especially for those who really needed it. He considered Rodney one of the latter.

"I'm glad to see you're still here, Colonel. "

John let go of McKay's hand and went over to the chair allowing Carson access to his patient.

Carson put his hand on Rodney's forehead, just to check for fever, knowing sensors could be wrong. "He may be waking up in an hour or so; not out of the woods yet, but he's getting there."

John took a deep breath, "That's good to hear, Carson. I'd hate to have to break in another scientist for the team. "

Carson shook his head, "You don't mean that, son. You'd be lost without Rodney... The two of you are like Mutt and Jeff. I don't know what I'd do without you both; it'd be so quiet and dull in my infirmary."

He smiled wistfully, "Can't imagine it,... all that peace and quiet...

I'd go bloody mad!"

John smiled, then realized how truly exhausted he was. " I think I need something to eat. I'll only be a few minutes, so please call me if he wakes up while I'm gone."

"Aye, that I will."

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John found Ronon and Teyla in the mess and sat with them at one of the tables.

"Doc thinks McKay should pull through. We need to let Dr Weir know."

Teyla smiled at the good news, "That's good to hear. I'll contact Elizabeth and tell her if you wish."

"That'd be great. Beckett seems to think McKay's going to wake up soon, so I want to be there when he does."

"We understand, Ronon and I will join you later, after we contact Dr. Weir."

John nodded as he got up, "Gotta go. I'll see you guys later."

Sheppard picked up a sandwich and a cup of coffee then headed back to the infirmary.

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Carson was sitting in the chair next to Rodney's infirmary bed. His patient was beginning to register more brain activity on the monitor, which meant he should soon be conscious.

Of all of the team members that had been on the Wraith planet, Rodney seemed to be the one that had been affected the most. Carson always suspected that inside the arrogant scientist, was a very sensitive and insecure man. Not that the rest of them hadn't suffered as well, but Rodney was just more traumatized then the rest of them. The scientist hiding in his room and not taking proper care of himself was a clear symptom of that trauma.

After all, he'd been shot by someone who was suppose to be his friend.

"Aye, and there the problem lies," he said out loud as he looked at McKay's still form.

I really don't envy Colonel Sheppard, he's going to have the devil of a time convincing Rodney that he hadn't meant to shoot him.

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Rodney was floating in a world of his own nightmares, one minute shouting at Sheppard to not shoot him, then hearing the gunshot echoing in his ears. His mind shouted... NO!

His eyes flew open suddenly; everything around him seemed fuzzy at first, but then his vision started to clear and realization hit him.

I'm in the infirmary, he took a deep breath in relief.

"Rodney!", a familiar voice said to him from somewhere to his right.

Sheppard's face suddenly appeared above him, concern as well as relief , written all over it.

"Hey, Buddy, you gave us quite a scare. How are you feeling? Can I get you anything."

Rodney looked up at him, confused. "Why am I in here?"

John smiled, glad to see Rodney awake. The emotional roller coaster he had been on for the past few hours ,made his legs feel suddenly weak. He quickly sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Carson says you were bleeding and developed an infection ,which caused you to have a fever. "And," he lightly punched Rodney's arm, " You forgot to eat, so your glucose was dangerously low."

Rodney's eyes opened wider. "I did?"

"Yes, you did. I can't let you out of my sight for a minute! Every time I do, you go into self destruct mode."

"I do?" Rodney looked surprised, taken back by the concern evident in Sheppard's voice.

John looked at him closely, "Are you brain damaged? You sound like a parrot!"

Before Rodney could reply, John raised his hand, "Don't say it... Carson needs to look at you. "

Just as he said it the doctor seemed to magically appear from around the corner of the screen.

"Rodney, you're awake then! Glad to see you're back with us. How do you feel?

Rodney looked at Carson, the corners of his mouth turned down, "Awful and from what Sheppard says... very stupid."

"Aye,... but are you in any pain?"

"Just a headache... I'm a little thirsty."

Carson smiled, "I'll get you some water."

Sheppard continued to stare at him, and Rodney felt a little awkward. Inside though he was secretly pleased that Sheppard was here watching out for him. It meant a lot to him after all that had happened between them.

"Want me to adjust the bed so you can sit up?" John asked him.

Rodney nodded, and Sheppard made the adjustment, even fluffing the pillow behind his friend's head.

Just as he finished, Carson returned with the glass of water and Ronon and Teyla were with him.

"Rodney," Telya called out, pleased to see him awake. No longer on crutches she was able to slowly walk to his bedside. " Elizabeth asked me to give you something," she leaned toward him and to Rodney's surprise kissed him on the forehead.

Ronon and John looked at each other surprised by that news.

Ronon shook his head, "I'm not doing that!"

John looked shocked, "Well, neither am I !"

Teyla looked at her two team mates then turned back to Rodney. She placed her hands gently on either side of his face , then touched her forehead to his. After a moment, she let go and stepped back. "That's from all of us Rodney. We are so happy you're better. Dr Weir said she'd give you a big hug when you get back to Atlantis."

Rodney seemed to perk up with all this attention, "She really said that?"

"Yes, she did." Teyla replied sweetly.

John seemed to reconsider, "Well, maybe a hug would be ,ok."

Rodney stared at him ,horrified, as if sheppard had suddenly grown two heads.

"Then again,'" John shrugged, "Maybe not.

Ronon and Teyla laughed along with Carson.

Even Rodney smiled, happy now that everything seemed almost normal.

John looked down at his feet then around the room at the others. "Would you guys mind leaving for a little while. I need to talk to Rodney about something."

Teyla spoke first, somehow knowing what John meant,"Of course not, we'll bring back a surprise from the mess, for Rodney, if that's ok with Dr. Beckett?"

"Of course, Love. He can eat whatever he wants."

The three left and then Rodney was alone with Sheppard ,who once again sat on the edge of the bed.

"You up for a little talk?" John asked him quietly.

Rodney blushed slightly, suddenly shy, knowing somehow that this was about what had happened on the planet. He nodded and looked at Sheppard.

Rodney's face suddenly took on a hurt puppy look. John found himself having to resist the urge to hug him after all. If anyone ever needed a hug from a friend it was Rodney right now.

He pushed the urge aside, Mckay might now take it the right way. Instead he forged ahead with what he had planned to tell Rodney.

"A very long time ago in Afghanistan, I had three really good buddies. Comrades in arms you might say, but we were also best friends. We were thrown together by fate and had come to trust and really depend on each other. We were like a small family unit." John paused for a moment as Rodney leaned back into his pillow.

"You ok?" He asked, not wanting to tire McKay.

Rodney nodded, the hurt look now gone, replaced by a curious once.

"Anyhow, We did everything as a team unit. Got drunk, acted macho, snarked at each other. You get the drift."

John could feel the hurt begin to resurface , as he talked about memories that he had tried to bury.

"Well, the first friend died on a mission to save a downed pilot. He was my closest friend and there was nothing I could do. He died in the desert. Before I could get over having him gone, my other two friends were killed as well. It was the worst time of my life. All my friends were gone... It hurt more than I can tell you. Losing all of them tore me up inside, but losing my best friend left a hole in my heart."

Rodney empathized with him, knowing how it felt to lose friends. Gaul, Grodin , and others. Somehow though, it really hurt him to see Sheppard like this.

John took a breath and continued now looking down at his feet," So, I decided from that day on, I'd never let anyone get that close again. I used sarcasm as a deterrent and it really worked, it pushed everybody away. As you know I came to Antarctic and was added to the Atlantis expedition. While we prepared for the trip to the Pegasus Galaxy there was this arrogant guy who kept bothering me, insisting that I try ancient devices out to see what they did. He was really annoying me."

Rodney smiled, knowing who he meant, but continued to listen, saying nothing.

"Anyhow, I figured I'd snark at him and cut him off at the knees. But, much to my surprise, he gave it back! He could out do me at every turn, no matter what I said. He gave it back in spades! "

He looked at Rodney and smiled. "This guy was really getting on my nerves, but before I knew it we were all off to Atlantis and into a whole lot of trouble that no one could have imagined. We were forced to leave people behind on a wraith ship, and I wanted to retrieve them. However, Dr Weir didn't want to work the problem choosing instead to let them go.

Well, this same guy, instead of not doing anything; must have seen how I felt, so he found a solution. He saved all those people on the Wraith ship, by telling me about the puddle jumpers. After that he kept amazing me, finding solutions when everything seemed hopeless and even braved death when he walked into a black energy being; saving me as well as everyone else in Atlantis."

John looked at Rodney, "You still ok?"

Rodney nodded, it seemed it was his main way of communicating. He was so choked up he doubted he could say anything.

"So, little by little this guy kept talking to me, he was there every time I turned around and little by little he started to grow on me. I enjoyed snarking with him, we went on missions together, I put him on my team.

Before I knew it he had wormed his way into my heart, filling that hole my best friend had left empty, and making me care about people again. Teyla, Ronon, Carson, Elizabeth, he brought them all with him. Suddenly, I had a family again."

John stopped for a moment then turned to Rodney, the look on his face said it all,

"And I found the best friend a man could ask for."

Rodney's eyes suddenly filled up and he had to look down; overcome with emotion.

"We went through tough and dangerous times together, but one day something happened that almost tore me apart.

I 'd shot my best friend and didn't even know it. Finding that out hurt so much, I just couldn't seem to handle it right.

Fate seemed to be trying to take away my best friend, just like the others I'd lost.

"So, what I'm trying to say is, that I really am sorry, Rodney. You'll never know how much it hurt me to know that I'd almost killed you. Losing you that way would have taken a big piece of me. "

This time Rodney's eyes started to water. He just couldn't hold it back. John's eyes looked the same ,and he too had to look away.

Emotional situations were very hard for both of them, since neither of them ever admitted how they felt. A Friendship like theirs was very rare and had made them as close as brothers.

After a few minutes, John finally faced Rodney again, " So, What say I tell you about what I went through on the planet and how I ended up, ...

shooting my best friend. "

There was a vulnerable look in John's eyes that Rodney had never seen before; it seemed to be asking for... forgiveness.

Rodney smiled and then nodded. This was a first for him, not being able to say anything for such a long period of time.

But the hurt was gone now, ...inside he felt so much better.

Knowing that Sheppard considered him his best friend did that to him...

The nightmare was over.

The End :)