Yes folks! It's that time of the show where your crackpot of an author's senses has completely left the building. She hopes you enjoy reading it as much as she has enjoyed typing it.
WARNING MAYBE SMUTTY MAYBE VULGAR MAY NOT BE APT FOR ALL READER YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
It had been 5 years since Sarah beat Jareth at his game. A game she willingly entered. She had always wanted to be the hero, the one to conquer the conquerless. And now, here she was, wishing to be the damsel in distress. She could take it no longer! Her step mother still treated her like a servant, and even convinced her father to refuse helping her pay for college. She was in tears, when she heard a faint whisper, "should you need us…yes. Should you ever need us…Sarah-mine…"
Dare she hope? Dare she dream it had been that simple all along? "Goblin King! Goblin King! Wherever you may be!" She began, but heard a whoosh, turning from her mirror to see he was there.
"All you have to do is just call." She ran up to him, throwing herself in his arms. "Precious. Don't cry, please. I am here." He said. "You're really him aren't you." Sarah said between sobs. "Yes." She looked deep into his eyes. "Were you serious about what you said?" He got to one knee, and magicked a crystal that popped leaving a huge diamond ring in his hand. "What do you think? I have loved you for so long, Sarah-mine. I have dreamed of the day you would ask you to be mine. Marry me, my pet. Make me the happiest being ever, be my wife, my queen, the mother to my children." It was more that she could bear. She felt the happiest ever.
"You want children with me?" She asked, placing her hand out. Jareth took her hand in his, and placed the ring on her ring finger. "As many as we can possibly have. Whatever you wish, my love. Just say you will be mine. Always and forever." She went to open her mouth and answer. "Stop! Look at what I am offering you. Think carefully Sarah." He said, standing looking as menacing as he did on the night of their final confrontation. He was even dressed the same. "This is no longer a game. If you agree, it is forever, with no way back. You can't one day decide that you are bored with marriage, that you 'didn't meanit.'
She nodded, "I understand, and my answer is yes. Yes!" With that Jareth whisked her away, where he took her to the Wise Man to be married at once. Jareth insisted, they can't do it unless they go through it. (Hello men in tights!)
The Wise Man was very happy for the couple, the bird on his head not so much. "I give it a century." He said. "Will you be quiet!" Responded the Wise Man.
They made passionate love for three days straight, with only taking breaks to eat, bathe and nap. "Why Jareth, are all fae as verile as you?! This has been the 3rd time, and it isn't even lunch yet!" He lifted the cover from his head, smiling with a glazed look of hunger over his eyes. "Precious, this is lunch." He licked his lips in a very lewd way that made Sarah feel vibrations throughout her whole body. "Jareth, don't stop!"
Throughout the whole kingdom the cries of the monarchs could be heard.
Somewhere on the edge of the Labyrinth stood a lonely dwarf with a pair of tiny legs sticking out of his ears. He shook his head with disgust, spraying tiny fairies, as more lined up for a quick execution. They all decided they could no longer bear hearing what was going on in the castle, and death at the gardener's hands to be a mercy killing.
A month later, things in the bedroom began to slow down. And only because the queen had taken quite ill. She was sure it was due to her not eating properly, and burning more calories that she consumed. Jareth was worried, He knew since her transformation there was no reason to be ill, as his kind never became ill. They lived long lives in fact, and often stole or adopted wished aways. He was worried.
After two weeks of her being ill, keeping nothing down, and fainting spells, he finally called on a healer. After checking on Sarah, with Jareth in the other room, the healer came out. "She will be fine. Go ahead and see her." He walked into their room, and saw her still looking weak. "He said you would be fine. What ails you, Sarah-mine?" She smiled and kissed him. "Precious, please, whatever it is, we will face it together. Please. Don't leave me! I could not live without you." She grabbed his hands, and laid back. "Darling, if you are dying this is not the time for such things." He looked at her with confusion as she put his hands on her belly.
"You gorgeous thing, I am not dying. I am pregnant!" Fae pregnancies being so rare, Jareth jumped for joy hugging and kissing his wife. There would be a big celebration. All the surrounding kingdoms would hear of the virility of the Goblin King, just taking a wife and already producing an heir on the very first try.
The celebration lasted a week, with Sarah coming and going from the festivities, happy to see Jareth so happy. He was over four thousand years old, and having his first babe. She was very happy for him, and even though she had seen him celebrating for days, she trusted him completely, knowing in her heart he would be true.
Months later, Sarah woke up, feeling very hungry. She woke up, sitting quietly. Jareth jumped up, looking very much frightened. "Are youok?" He asked. "Yes. It's just that…" She looked down at her swollen belly. He gave her a knowing look. "I move the stars for no one." She gave him a list of above ground foods she wished for, and even begged him to see if Karen had left over lasagna in the fridge. She knew it being Thursday there would be.
After eating, her craving subsided for the moment, Sarah stood up to clean her mess. Just as she went to bend over a large fart trumpeted from her rear. Her face turned bright red as she looked up at her husband. Jareth looked very much owlike, just staring at her. He was unable to believe that noise and smell which rivaled with the Bog itself, came from her. He quickly composed himself, as he saw tears fall from her eyes. She ran to the bathroom, locking herself in. It took Jareth an hour of begging before she would step out. "It wasn't that bad, dear. It's natural. Don't worry your pretty little head." She hugged him, and smiled.
Another night, they were taking a walk, to help her. The healer said walking would be good and help her labor along. He was a very doting husband, kissing her, caressing her, and even holding her hand. Jareth made a joke, and Sarah laughed so hard until she felt pee trickle down her leg. Again she became embarrassed. Jareth portaled her to the bedroom where she could change and clean up. He went to the healer, and asked about if this was normal. The healer said yes, and informed him of other changes in her body that would happen. He thanked the healer and left.
Sarah felt Jareth watch her like a hawk during her last days of her pregnancy, and not sleeping at all. She had a few false alarms, until one night she felt her water break. "Jareth, my water broke!" He woke up quickly.
"You sure ya didn't piss yourself love, no judgement, but you had a lot of water before bedtime." She threw a pillow at him. "You ass! That was a one time deal!" He didn't argue, both knowing full and well it wasn't. He called the healer, who quickly shoved Jareth out to deliver the baby with his assistant. "But I am the father!" He yelled. It seemed like hours of pacing when he heard the screams of his heir. He tried to step in but found a spell was placed preventing him from entering. An hour later, he heard another set of cries. His mind could not wrap around what had happened.
He was let in to meet his family, tears in his eyes. He did not care who saw. He was congratulated, but warned that the queen needed at least 6 weeks rest before continuing with his marital duties. He did not care as he was elated. He celebrated for those 6 weeks, people coming from all the lands to meet his twin boys.
Jareth finally ended the festivities, much to Sarah's happiness. She was very nervous as it had been too long since they last made love. The babies were sleeping in their room, finally. The monarchs were on the bed, kissing while in a sweet embrace. Sarah felt shy. Her body changed so much she did not feel attractive at all. "Sarah, are you ok?" She nodded. "Sarah." He said firmly. "I feel so ugly, like a bag of liquid that flops around. My stomach is no longer flat, my clothes don't fit. My boobs are huge!" She began to tear up. "How can I compete? All these fae born women are beautiful, and I look like a fat whale."
Jareth held her, kissing her, devouring her lips with his. His kisses went down further, as if he could somehow burn the memory of his lips on her. He needed to show her how wrong she was. "You are perfect." He said finally. "You have given me two healthy boys, your body once a vessel of their being there, and you nourishing them. You will always be beautiful to me." She stopped crying, smiling. "Even if I weighed 300lbs?" She asked playfully. "Even then. I would have more to kiss."
That night, he made passionate love to his wife, leaving no part of her untouched. All throughout the land, the monarchs love was once again on display for the kingdom. This time, the dwarf had his rock calling friend call over a few pebbles to jam in his ears. "Dam Jareth and Sarah too." Ludo just stood there, "Sarah not friend." With a look of fear on his face. Hoggle just patted his friend in sympathy.
Little did the monarchs know that their love making would soon end with another unexpected pregnancy. The twins were a few days short of five months old, just barely starting to sleep all night. Again Sarah felt the familiar feelings of nausea and vomiting. This time she went to the healer to confirm what she suspected. Congratulations were given, Jareth again hosting a party celebrating his virility, being the envy of all the lands. They were very happy, as this was never heard of.
Again, Jareth was more than willing to spoil her with her cravings, rubbing her feet when needed, and helping with the twins. This time Sarah was not shy about her gas, but excused herself each time. Jareth couldn't understand how she smelled worse than the bog. Another problem was now she peed when she sneezed or coughed.
Again, she woke up with the familiar pains, but they were prepared. The healer was called, again he was locked out. This time it took longer, but finally the healer's assistant came out..pale as chalk. "My wife?" Jareth asked. "May I see her now?" The assistant didn't seem to realize who was talking to him. "Never in my life has this ever been done! Amazing. I just don't understand!" He kept walking past Jareth, mumbling mindlessly. Jareth ran to check on his wife. He saw Sarah looking tired, but well. Next to her were 3, he counted 3 small bassinets. He fainted where he stood.
Again there were festivities, with Jareth celebrating a month. Sarah understood, but became agitated because she now had 5 children to look after, and Jareth was partying. When he came home he smelled of Goblin Ale, perfume, and had lipstick all over him. But she trusted him, and had no reason not to. He tried ravishing his wife, but she was not in the mood. The healer gave her an elixir to prevent pregnancy. It was illegal and taboo for him to do so, but feared she would become pregnant again. Sarah needed the rest, and promised to say nothing. Now she was more glad than ever. She had to take it once every three months for it to work.
Sarah had gained some weight, but Jareth made love to her as passionately as ever, and even started doing tricks in the bedroom he never did before. The kingdom once again heard Sarah in the throws of passion screaming Jareth's name and other obscenities. "Jareth! Not there! Never there!" Hoggle heard, and shuddered in repulsion. "Come on, precious. I thought you were adventurous!" And with that a whole new choice of phrases were heard throughout the land.
The triplets were shy of two years old, when Sarah had noticed her period was missing for the last two month. Again she went to the healer, again her suspicion was confirmed. "Jareth," she said as she sat with him for a candle light dinner. "I have something to share with you." He looked up, bags under his eyes. "Yes." She reached his hand, and placed it on her belly. "NO!" he yelled. She could not tell if he was happy or mad. "So soon? This is quite unheard of." He smiled and gave her a hug. "Darling, don't take this the wrong way, but after this one maybe we should slow down for a while. I love the children dearly, but we are both stretched to exhaustion." Sarah was happy to hear him say this, and agreed.
Sarah did not have any morning sickness like with the other pregnancies. She found that she was rather in the mood every time she was her husband, or even thinking about him. It got so bad that their love making left him too tired to run a kingdom. Oftentimes he began hiding from her, hiding in the labyrinth. Once he found Hoggle at the entrance, pacing back and forth. "Your majesty." Hoggle said. "Yes, you putrid scab." Jareth responded wearily. "Nothing. Do you need anything?" He asked. "Should I not be able to walk where I chose? I do rule here, don't I?"
Before Hoggle could answer, Sarah's voice could be heard calling Jareth. "Dear heavens, Dwarf hide me! Do not let her know I was here." Jareth frantically ran looking for where to hide. Once out of sight, Sarah turned the corner wearing nothing but a bright red bathrobe and a smile. Goggles mouth dropped open, wishing he had his old fairie repellent to jab the pointy part in his eyes. "Um. Sarah. Long time no see." He said nervously. Sarah stared at him, questionably.
"Have you seen Jareth?" She asked, with a crop suddenly in her hand. Hoggle swallowed a lump in his throat. "N..N..No." He finally responded. Sarah stood closer, her robe being opened slightly due to the wind, as she began poking the dwarf in the chest with the crop. "You repulsive little scab, you better not lie Higgle." He gulped again, ever fearful. "Hoggle." He said quietly. Sarah knelt on one knee, looking at him with a seductive smile on her face. "Yes, Hoggle." She took one hand and grabbed his sack of jewels, showing more teeth than anyone ever should. " I was just thinking to myself, get a load of the bun on that dwarf. How about it Hoggle?" Sarah wiggled her eyebrows with much insinuation. Just as Hoggle was about to scream, she grabbed him by the collar and laid a big kiss on his mouth. Hoggle threw himself back, falling over his feet, and ran leaving his jewels behind.
Sarah sighed in frustration, slowly standing up, and waddled away in search of her husband. Jareth reached for a crystal, as quietly as possible, looking in on the poor dwarf, he did make him a promise after all. He saw the dwarf run across a bridge, much to the guarding knight's objection, and jumped head first into the bog of stench.
Much to Jareth's horror he saw Hoggle refuse to leave the bog, saying he was quite content staying there. All of a sudden, Jareth heard a rustle in the bushes, when Sarah jumped him from behind landing on top of him. "Precious, you're spry for being 6 months pregnant. How did you find me?" Sarah began to pull down Jareth's pants, as he failed to get up. She was much too large to push off,and didn't want to hurt her. She didn't answer him, just kept unclothing him. "Sarah, please, stop. I can't. I've got no more! Here, look in this crystal, I'll give you anything you want." He begged, whimpering.
With a vicious animalistic snarl, she mounted him as he cried, and screamed. "You have no power over me!"
This has been on my mind for a while. Can you imagine Jareth getting what he wanted, Sarah. They say be careful what you wish for, so there you have it. And now back to your regularly scheduled program. Thanks for reading.
I do not own The Labyrinth nor its character, and no profit monetary or otherwise is being gained.
