The Diego Diaries: Thanksgiving and The Prowl (dd8 579)
=0=On the concourse at Unidad Terra 1
"May I have your attention."
The voice cut over the music, conversations and other goings-on as the huge monitors slowly descended among them, lining walls around the room. They were massive and could be seen clearly even from a distance.
"I'm Carly Brooks-Spencer Witwicky and I'm director of Unidad Terra 1."
Huge applause, then silence.
"I would like to direct your attention to the monitors around the room. Every Thanksgiving the mechs and femmes of the colony led by Ratchet of Iacon have a huge dinner, then a food contest. The dinner is completed and now the contest over who made the best candy dish is about to start. First it was pie, then cakes, then … I can't remember. Cookies? Biscuits? This year its candy. The prizes awarded are highly sought after and its my great pleasure to show you a part of our colonial history." She turned to the screen where the mechs and femmes in the huge room were staring back at the humans in the habitat. "I would like to hand it over to you, Ratchet."
Ratchet stared at her, then snickered. "So."
Huge laughter in two places greeted that as Ratchet stood. "Welcome, slaggers, to the what … fourth or fifth Thanksgiving food contest. This year its candy. You have to make it yourself, any kind with the exception of Prowl who has friends in the food business." He ducked a cup, then grinned at the humans. "Blondi and Maxi run it. These handsome slaggers," he said nodding to the smirking group of former Decepticons receiving their first candy at the moment, "get to eat candy and decide winners. When 20 are chosen best of the first round, then the Clan Council of Seekerkin get to pick the eventual winners.
"I will now tell you the places," Ratchet said with his best smile. He caught a beer bottle thrown at him, then grinned at Prowl. "There are the usual first, second and third, then most improved, best in show, grand champion and the final most sought after spot, the one that sums up the contest to the greatest degree possible, The Prowl."
The laughter would go on on both sides for some time as Prowl stared at Ratchet with his arms crossed over his comely chassis. Prime who was half way to drunk town leaned into Prowl with his giant arm around the smirking winger.
"That is very funny," Prime said. "Say it again."
"The Prowl," Ratchet said as he grinned at Prime.
Prime grinned at him.
Prowl didn't.
"Blondi, take it away," Ratchet said as he collapsed in his chair with a new beer courtesy of Uraya.
Everyone in the habitat watched with amazement and delight. The mechs were huge, intrinsically funny no matter what they did and now they got to watch the monarch of worlds tie one on with his friends.
Plate after plate arrived. The mechs ate the samples, scored the entries and at last reached the end of 310 dishes.
Blondi and Maxi huddled over the numbers, then glanced at the crowd. "Please give it up for our wonderful judges and their cast iron tanks," Maxi said as the big mechs rose to walk with big grins toward their seats once again.
"We have the top 20 semi-finalists," Blondi said. "Maxi will read them." She handed the data pad to Maxi who turned to the crowd.
"The finalists in no particular order are Hercy and Kup," she said as the crowd roared. "The next nineteen are Edict and Bron-E, Prowl, Ratchet, Cashew, Tiborius, Metrobon, Calligan, Sky Warp, Shim and Shel, Ranger and his brothers, Joon, Styre and Stealth, Siril, Breakdown, 26, Steppe, Cirio and Wren, Semi and Tween, and finally, Rampage and Bon. Give it up for our great contestants."
They did and some at both the party and the habitat.
"Now we call on the honorable members of the Clan Chieftain Council of Cybertron led by his Eminence, Rainmaker, the Great Elder of Seekerkin," Maxi said beaming like the sun.
They rose, a formidable and immensely dignified group led by a grinning Rainmaker and followed at the end by the youngest, Starscream of Vos. They gathered, then sat. Rainmaker grinned at the crowd. "Take it all in. Take it in," he said to roaring approval.
"We will bring you numbered samples of the 20 semi-finalists, Elders. You will eat and judge them. Then the prizes will be awarded," Blondi said as plates came forward.
"I can think of other things more edifying but not now," Starscream said as he picked up a piece of candy to sniff it.
"You're suppose to eat it, Starscream," Warlord called from the crowd. "It doesn't go up your nose assembly."
HUGE amounts of laughter and suggestions for where it did go were offered, but Starscream smirked them all down. The chieftains got to it.
=0=Habitat
Standing together, Owen Harris, Ted Galloway, Kyle Davis and Perry Beliveau watched with drinks in hand.
"Starscream," Ted fumed. "That fucker needs to be parted out."
"By all means," Owen said to Ted who frowned. "That mech is feral. I doubt that you could get within five miles of him without him knowing."
"He's still a fucker," Ted fumed.
"I will tell him you said so and send your good wishes at the next Committee meeting, Theodore," Andre Boudin said as he joined them.
Ted glanced at him, then shook his head. "You will never change my mind."
=0=In the hall
They ate and ate, did their math, then sent the data to Maxi and Blondi. When it was compiled and the winners ascertained, they both turned to the crowds who became silent immediately.
"Ratchet, do you have the trophies?" Maxi asked.
"I do. I have to say it was nip and tuck to get them made. They do, however, reflect my genius adequately," Ratchet said with his best smile.
Everyone laughed, took in the smile, then settled expectantly.
"The third place winner is Shim and Shel."
Both of them startled, then rose, a femme and mech infiltrator who had fallen in love with life here and each other. They now had three small children who came forward with them.
Ratchet pulled the box over, rummaged for the trophy, then held up a bronze statute of some considerable madness.
It was about four feet tall, made of bronze and glowed brightly. It was Ratchet skiing down a marshmallow hill on candy cane skis with his arms flung wide as if in mid fall. Ratchet himself was a big candy bar with arms and legs extended. A Smore hat completed his ensemble though his bright smile and cartoon like qualities gave it just that certain something.
Whatever that was.
They took it, thanked everyone, then walked back with their children.
Winners for second place and first were called and they came. An astonished Styre and Stealth and a mech named Siril who was a librarian at his city branch were overjoyed, then walked back to sit.
"I'm going to have to try this next year," Corsair said as Imaldo nodded.
"We can do it together," Kestrel said sweetly.
His son stared at his ada with a big grin. He loved his genitors so.
Prowl hid his beer.
"We come to the remaining categories," Maxi said. "Most improved goes to Ratchet."
Ratchet who was killing off his fifth beer glanced at them, then waved. "Thanks. I deserve it. Ha! I got one, Prowl, though I wanted The Prowl."
HUGE LAUGHTER!
"Next comes," Blondi said as she grinned at Ratchet, "best in show." She glanced at Maxi who grinned. "Though I don't know what it means, it belongs to Sky Warp."
HUGE Seeker applause and snarking from everyone else met that as Sky Warp took his trophy which was the same but it was colored perfectly. "Thanks. I have just the place for this in the wash rack."
SNARK!
"The next prize is for Grand Champion," Blondi said. "That honor goes to PROWL!"
"Actually, I don't mind," Prowl said as he was shoved to rise and get the trophy which was slightly bigger than best in show. He stared at it, then the group, then walked to his chair through a chorus of laughter and snark.
He sat as Prime gripped it.
Prime stared at it, then chuckled. "I like this. We must find a prominent place for this."
"My bin could use some ballast," Prowl said as the room and habitat hooted at him.
Blondi grinned. "We have only the greatest prize, the most sought after honor in the land. The Prowl this year goes to Hercy and Kup, of course."
The room was bedlam.
Moments later back at their seats, Kup and Hercy basked in the glow of the win and their trophy. It was a statute of Prowl painted life colors and showed him straddling a snickers bar shooting his guns off like he was Wyatt Earp. It had taken a while to pry Prowl's digits off it as he tried to tear it to pieces but Hercy had moved onward.
Now The Prowl was theirs.
Of course.
=0=HABITAT!
They signed off and the dance continued with lots of laughter and drinking. By the time 0200 rolled up there were many who were helped to their vehicles with wing men and women to help them get home safely. Everyone would.
The clean up crew, a hired troop of mini-cons and their drone helpers put the place to rights by the time the sunlight began to rise inside the habitat again. No one would know a party happened at all.
=0=Party Town
They drank beer, told lies and admired statutes until they began to gather up to go. By the time they did the candy had been eaten by spectators and there was nothing left to go with their presenters. Following the titans out including the visitors, they gathered on the sidewalk to take in the air. Children were in holds and bigger children gathered when Typhoon and Clipper drew Ironhide and Ratchet aside.
"Have the children been speaking about spending some time living with you?" Ty asked.
"They mentioned it," Ratchet replied.
Ty grinned. "They want the whole family experience. We have friends coming in that we want to put up for a while. Is it impossible to do both deeds a good service by having the kids move in or is that too many?"
Ratchet glanced at Ironhide, then shrugged. "What's a few more when you have a battalion?"
Ironhide nodded. "We'd have to expand the apartment. How about we don't say anything until I get with the Housing Board. Then we can see if that apartment near the elevator wants to change locations."
"Done deal. We can shift them around to give them more experiences. We want that for them and I know you do as well. If its too much we can revisit this," Clipper said. "Danny, Ty and I are in agreement. If its go, how about a surprise?"
"Done deal," Ironhide said.
They chatted a while, then all the groups parted heading for home and the couch. It would take a while to get the mob all there.
=0=Later that night
"Prime is a great drunk."
Ironhide nodded. "The best. No one does it better."
They both snickered.
"What about the kids?" Ironhide asked.
"Not a problem for me. What's a few hundred more?" Ratchet replied. "You get on the apartment angle. That might halt the whole thing in its tracks."
Ironhide nodded.
[Silence]
"I hope not." -R
"Me, too." -IH
=0=TBC 11-30-2022
Happy December to everyone tomorrow.
