The Diego Diaries: Avalone and Other Things (dd8 282)

=0=Administrator's Module, Earth2

They stared at each other across a wide abyss or so it seemed. Graham had hit a nerve and for a moment it seemed bridgeable.

Nast who was staring at Graham shrugged. "This is better than Earth. Right now there's nothing there for me and my kids. Being here, working in a groundbreaking place is … exciting."

The Daniels stared at him then the soldiers. Springer and Drift who were sitting nearby were a pair they couldn't fathom but this felt different even if only for a few moments.

"I would rather be here than Earth. You only have to get into trouble to find out who your friends really are," William Daniels said. "We aren't the most welcome of individuals but people are polite here. Maybe, eventually, we'll be welcome."

"This must be very funny to all of you … my how the mighty have fallen," James Daniels said with a trace of bitterness. "We did favors for everyone and this is the thanks we get."

"Well, no honor among thieves or something like that," Springer said. "What do you really think about us? No one is going to get mad here. Much anyway," he said with a grin. "I'm in a man suit. It doesn't make me unhappy unless I eat something."

Chuckles followed that remark.

"We can pretend to be men. What about it? We don't have the same problem you have about us when we're you," Drift said. "What do you think about us really?"

The humans stared at them, then Nast sat back. "I could kill Shockwave with my own hands. My wife was a good woman and didn't deserve what happened to her."

"We agree on that," Springer said with a nod.

Nast stared at him. "I don't get you. How could a thing like you exist?"

"Because you don't understand us or even try," Drift said. "All creation is vast and varied. There's stranger things than us out in the galaxy let alone the universe. If you find any of that offensive then maybe its best you stay out of it and die off naturally. In the next life you might become one of them or us."

"I doubt that," Nast said coldly.

"You blame us for your wife's death. Seven and a half billion people live on Earth and a good bunch of them have wives, too. They aren't dead from us or anything else. You might want to consider what you were doing when she died. It was never us that did it. We work as hard as we can to spare humans. Surely by now you've noticed the difference," Springer said.

Nast was silent, then Jase Daniels stood and stretched. "I like driving here. I like looking for the cars that don't have drivers because I know its one of you. The cities are beautiful and make sense. I've never seen so many things so tall.

"This is better than Earth. We were trapped in our own houses. I didn't expect to like it here any better but I do. I don't know what I think about you honestly. You're a weird species. I just like it here better than Earth. If you expected more than you're going to be disappointed."

"I'm surprised Prime allowed it. I still expect the knock on the door," William Daniels said.

"Prime's not that kind of person," Lennox said. "He's fair, honest, kind and thoughtful. He's the smartest individual I ever met and he's millions and millions of years old. He offers us without charge things that've fixed our problems and he asks nothing in return. If we had leadership like Optimus I doubt our world would be so fucked up."

"I don't know him very well," William Daniels mused. "I never trusted him because I don't understand him or his people. I watch the mechs and the femme who work here and they seem a lot like us but how can that be?"

"They have families. They go to school, have parties, go to sports, raise kids and support each other. They went through a calamity that I can't imagine and they don't know where everyone they love truly is. I don't know how they turned out so great when they've lived with terror and hardship for millions of years. Think about Earth being destroyed and what we'd do besides die there. Then think about coming to a safe place and wondering where your family is," Epps said.

"All of us do every day," Springer said as Drift nodded.

It was silent a moment, then Jase Daniels turned from the window where he was staring out at the crowds in the Grand Concourse. "They love this place. They love you."

"What about the Festival? What do you feel if anything?" Drift asked with a curious tone.

Daniels glanced at him. "I feel the Blessings. I feel them like everyone else."

"For a moment or two I feel better than I've ever felt before," William Daniels replied as his son, James nodded. He glanced at Drift with a serious expression. "It makes me feel that nothing I ever did is beyond forgiveness. I sort of feel like its alright. Then its over and everything comes back again."

"What kind of things?" Drift asked.

William Daniels considered his words, then glanced at Drift who looked like a very athletic handsome man. "Regrets. I never spent enough time with my wife and son. I never gave my grandson enough. I feel that all the time."

Drift considered that and his lack of understanding about the human psyche. "Regrets are something all of us have. We regret our entire history. But most of it isn't our fault and the parts that are? You have to let them go. You have to forgive yourself or you'll never have anything else. I was a Decepticon and did slag all. I know from where I speak."

"My wife died alone. I was overseas being a … a big wheel and she had a heart attack in our home. No one found her until three days later when it occurred to me that she hadn't called. It took three days for me to remember her," Daniels said with anguish in his voice. "I don't know why I'm telling you this."

James Daniels stood, then walked to a window to stare outside. "I don't like to talk about it."

"Grandma was a good person," Jase said inexplicably. "She's love it here. She liked new things. She liked travel. She'd of liked being here and hanging out with the woman's club. She wanted adventure."

William Daniels nodded. "She did. I didn't pay attention to that. Its a heavy weight."

The atmosphere changed as William Daniels spoke. To Lennox it felt real, the sadness that filled the room between all three men.

"You don't talk about things much do you," Drift said.

"And I suppose you do," Jase said with a slight edge.

"We're bonded. Our minds, souls, spirits, whatever you call it are one when we do," Drift said. "We're always connected and we know each other on a deeper level than you do. I would know what Springer wanted even if he never said it. I imagine its a lot harder for you having to guess."

William Daniels glanced at Drift then nodded. "I suppose but you'd think after fifty-five years together I'd have been better at it." He stared at the floor. "I think I was too selfish to notice. The life we led was so much more important it seemed. Then when she died nothing helped me. Not even God."

James glanced at his father. "You made him your bestie. I'm surprised you didn't have Him on speed dial."

William glanced at his son then an expression of grief came over him. "I deserved that."

No one said anything.

To the mechs this was unexplored territory and to the humans it was surprising.

Drift who was fascinated glanced at William Daniels. "You make a show of it, some of you. But you just said it didn't help you."

William nodded. "It didn't. To tell you the truth, religion doesn't help much when bad things happen to a lot of people. Its supposed to but it didn't. All I felt was regret and anger."

"At yourself?" James asked his father with an edge to his tone.

William nodded. "Yes."

It was silent in the room, murky and tense. Apparently, the situation between father and son was touchy over this subject. James Daniels had some anger at his father.

"What about your wife, James? How does she like it here?" Drift asked.

"She does. She likes the women and hanging out. She's just joined the Auxiliary. I don't know how that'll go but she likes it. It beats being vilified on Earth." He glanced at his father and son. "Thank you, Dad and son."

Jase Daniels glanced at his father but said nothing.

William Daniels began to cry.

=0=Elsewhere

Ratchet sat on the command chair watching the slow and inexorable rise to a working level of sentience of the big ship. Avalone had matched every request with an action, the proper one. It was encouraging but anything was still possible.

"Ratchet?"

He glanced up to see Jetta's face. "Hi, son of mine. What's the story?"

"We've secured his body and he's at 92% energized. If we need to lift him we can. All we need is your word. I sort of believe that when he's in space the pressure points are going to be relieved and he'll do better. We have teams at all of them, the five that might be trouble but given the engineer's assessments its just a formality."

Jetta sat down in the navigator's chair. "What's the truth here, Ada? Will he make it and if he does will he be himself?"

"That's the big question. I'm finding a lot of overwrite code here that only shows up when someone is profoundly depressed or in deep mourning, like they're overwriting memories that are too difficult to bear. Its like a fog that takes over a processor and makes anything possible including the unthinkable."

"Did he commit suicide? We found scorch marks where they hit him and damage in his stern," Jetta said.

"No but it looks like he was working his way toward it," Ratchet said grimly. "You know … we can do that. We've had the odd individual try it when the pressure of being lost wears off and they can't face the reality that they experienced in the Diaspora. This mech was in deep despair when he was attacked."

"What will we do?" Jetta asked. "We can get him to the Shipyard when you give the word. Then what?"

"Then Banner will come and save him. We can't tell him until I ascertain Avalone's processor but I think that's the only thing that's going to keep this one going," Ratchet said. "We have to do our best work here."

Jetta nodded. He sat with Ratchet watching him go through Avalone's files to ensure that if he was lifted he didn't come to sentience and flail himself to death.

=0=Administrative Module, Earth2

It was quiet in the room but for William Daniels' gathering tears. He wept with his hands over his face. "I didn't tell her I loved her when I left that last time. I did. I loved her so much. She was such a good person." Daniels glanced up at Drift with despair on his face. "She loved to hike and bake things. She was a great cook. She liked to play backgammon but I didn't. I never put her first or even James. In the end it didn't matter did it what I was doing. Look at us."

Jase looked like a statue by the window as his father walked toward his own to sit beside him. "Its all fucked up. All of it," he said quietly.

=0=TBC 10-21-2021 For Misty. :D:D:D