Bonnie Sveen Fan: Thank you for the review. It's horrifying to know just how much was taken due to Grace's actions. But would Connie want anyone to know about Lily's pregnancy?


Chapter Eight

Connie felt sick to the stomach the moment she saw that result lying in front of her.

How far along was Lily when the crash happened?

How many people knew about the pregnancy before she died?

How would Iain had reacted if he knew Lily had died whilst she was pregnant with his child?

Connie looked at the corner where she saw Iain and Lily just a few minutes ago, only they were gone. All they wanted to do was torment her, and it infuriates her to know that they are winning. She's going to be haunted with this for the rest of her life. So will Grace. Her only child would be devasted if she ever knew that Lily was pregnant!

"I can't believe this!" Jan held her hands against her mouth, "I'm wishing I never looked in the box as well."

"It was painful to know," Dylan whispered, "I went to bed every night. All I can see what Lily and Iain playing with someone. Swinging the young child around. Only I could only see the small feet. One night, it was a young girl. Last night, it was young boy."

Connie looked at the pregnancy test again. All she could hear was a playful scream, coming from a young child being played with. Turning around, she tried to see if there was anyone there. But there was no one around pass the window of the office, or pass the doors to the driveway, or near the entrance of the ED.

The scream suddenly aged, along with the emotions. That scream no longer sounded happy, playful and content. It had suddenly grown anxious, and scared, and then it suddenly shouted out a name. Connie wasn't sure if it was Lily's name or Iain's. But that fear was suddenly passed over to her.

Finally, the scream suddenly became desperate. It was as if they were trying to pretend as if something didn't or never happened. Almost as if they received the news that no one wanted to hear. Their screams sounded as if they wanted something that they can no longer have. All Connie could hear was the screams sounding scared, but unlike the screams that were screaming for their lives, these screams were to tell her, plead with her even that what happened had not happened.

It dawned on Connie whose screams she was hearing.

Grace's. Lily's. And Lily's child.

The child that will never been born.

Connie felt guilty now. Her child had killed Lily's.

"What should I do?" Dylan asked, "I nearly told Sam, but I stopped myself. I don't want to upset anyone if we don't need to."

Connie thought about everyone in the ED. Everyone knew that Lily would always have wanted to protect her child. But if everyone knew that Lily was pregnant, then the guilt of not being able to save her will cast a shadow on everyone. It will leave a lot of people feeling as if they should have done more to save Lily.

"Everyone's still upset about Lily and Iain," Connie sighed, closing the box, "This will make matters ten times worse. No one else needs to know about this."

Jan managed to take a deep breath, "Should we put this somewhere? We can't let anyone else see this."

"I'll take it," Connie grabbed the box and stuffed it in her handbag, "I'll figure out what to do with it."

"You sure?" Jan asked her, "Connie. You shouldn't bear this burden on your own. Iain and Lily are gone. Ethan is beside himself. There are two teams who have spent two days trying to come to terms with what has happened. This isn't your fault."

"It's partly your fault. If you've raised your child better, we would still have ours!"

Connie turned around, waiting to see Iain's face. But he wasn't there.

"Connie," Jan whispered, "Are you sure you should be here? You look as if the walls were going to crumble."

"Yeah," Connie turned to face her, "I'll be fine. Dr Keogh, I think we ought to head to the ED. They'll be wondering where we are."

Dylan nodded as the pair stood up and walked out of the office. As soon as they reached the door however, Connie closed her eyes as she heard a piercing scream coming from Jan's office. Dylan turned, noticing Sam walking into the ambulance station. The two watched as Sam ran into the office.

Dylan realised that by having no one know about the pregnancy, it would leave to a huge question.

"Mrs Beauchamp," Dylan mentioned, "What are we going to do about the pregnancy test?"

"I'll figure something out," Connie answered, "I can't just throw this away."

And she couldn't. She couldn't bring herself to do that. She couldn't bring herself to betray Lily by throwing her intended future away.

"A bit too late to avoid betrayal isn't it?"

Connie blanked out Lily's voice once again. The need to apologise had to be wiped away, otherwise Dylan would suspect that there was something not right. Then he would find out about Grace and then everyone else would find out.

Then Connie will lose Grace.

Forever.

"I need you in resus this morning," Connie explained to Dylan, "I'm sorry you had to wait this long before you told us. That can't have been easy."

"Yeah," Dylan whispered, "Thank you. I just feel as if I let them down."

"You haven't let anyone down," Connie mentioned, "You only found out after Lily."

"Go on."

Connie heard Iain's voice in the background.

"Say it! Say her death! Say our baby's death!"

"You're alright?" Dylan asked her, "You sure you should be here?"

Connie looked around, wanting to see Iain or Lily around the area. But there was still no sign of either of them. Clearly, they were both sickened to even look at her in the eye. They don't want her to see them at all, not after what has happened!

Connie couldn't blame either of them.

They lost everything! They lost their baby! They lost their happiness! They lost their car!

Connie felt ashamed of herself to believe this, but even if Iain and Lily survived, they would have lost everything in that crash! All because she had texted Grace and she'd worry if Grace didn't answer straight away.

A part of Connie felt guilty. She'd rather the pair were dead, than having them go through the pain of everything that they had lost.

"I'm going to pretend you weren't thinking that!"

Connie felt physically sick, all she wanted to do was hideaway from the world and take Grace with her. That way, there would be no more lies. No more sudden discoveries. And no more hauntings from the people who have left them.

"Do you really think we're going to let this go?"

Connie walked into her office, shutting the blinds before she settled onto her desk. Switching on the computer screen, she waited patiently as the computer started to load. Reaching for the bag, she pulled out the box with Lily's pregnancy test before opening the top drawer and slipping the test in the drawer.

Just as she slipped the box in the drawer, she noticed a photograph, taken a few years ago. Taking the photograph out, she took the features in, it was as if everyone were under the impression that the people in the photo would still be here now.

It wasn't just Lily who featured in the photograph. Connie noticed that Cal featured on there as well.

However, she remembered that even though Cal had been gone for two years, people were able to move on. Ethan still thought about him, but he was able to move past it.

If it had been done for Cal, it can be done for Lily and Iain as well.

Connie placed the photograph back in the top drawer, on top of the pregnancy test. Soon she'll forget about that test and who it belonged to. Soon everyone will stop asking questions about how the crash happened. But soon, things will go back to normal.

Thoughts were snapped back, when Connie heard the three knocks on the door.

"Enter."

Connie looked up as Charlie entered the room, settling down on the seat in front of her with some notes in his hands.

"Everything okay?" Connie asked him.

"Yeah," Charlie looked at the notes and set them down, "Yesterday, the results of the post-mortem for Lily and Iain arrived. They found that both Iain and Lily had sustained some internal bleeding. I couldn't bring myself to look at anything else. I know that the results will likely be fully read should the person responsible for the crash ever get caught."

Connie nodded at this suggestion; she had no choice but to nod.

"Gem mentioned that Iain and Lily both had donor cards," Connie enquired, "Have they said if they were suitable?"

"I've called them up actually," Charlie explained, "Iain turned out to be a match for a man with Primary Biliary Cirrhosis, the surgery took place yesterday afternoon. Lily's kidney was also donated to a young woman who have Lupus."

Connie choked up when Charlie told her this. This was Iain and Lily's final gift to two families. Both of whom they would never have met before in their lives. A brand-new start for the two people who have been given a second chance with life.

Connie suddenly thought about Gem. Those two people would never have been given this opportunity if she hadn't spoken up about Iain and Lily's wishes for their organs to be donated.

"I feel as if we need to do something to help Gem," Connie mentioned, "That is good news about those two people who Iain and Lily helped. I wished there was something we could do to help her."

"We're going to suggest she has some counselling," Charlie suggested, "But there was also something else I needed to discuss with you as well. Yesterday, we had to turn away a lot of reporters and photographers wanting to get questions regarding the accident."

Connie frowned at this. It's too soon and the feelings of not only Gem and Lily's mother, but also the feelings of the whole team needed to be considered as well. Plus, there would be a chance they would also want to talk to Ethan about his experience with the crash as well. As well as the knowledge that Iain and Lily's names haven't even been released yet.

If Grace knew exactly who died in the accident, she would never forgive herself.

"They never give up do they?" Connie groaned, "We can't release anything without the permissions from Iain and Lily's next of kin."

"I've contacted Holby Gazette," Charlie reassured her, "They apologised for what has happened. It turns out that the journalists were new starters wanting to get a good story. They have spoken to everyone, determined to make sure all the appropriate protocols are taken."

"That's good," Connie nodded, "How's Ethan doing?"

"He's going to be discharged tomorrow," Charlie answered, "He gave the statement yesterday to the police, even giving the description of both the driver and the car. Only I don't want to alarm you on this."

Connie looked at Charlie concerned. What was he implying?

Surely, he hasn't worked out that Connie knew more about the situation than she's letting on. Has he?

"The description of the car matches Grace's car," Charlie looked down, "The police haven't made the link yet. But we think whoever stole the car, was also responsible for the crash."

Connie closed her eyes. This was what she was anticipating. But she was nervous that if she showed a single sign of relief, then someone would pick up that something wasn't right and then they would find out that the car was never stolen. Then there will be questions about what had happened and Connie?

She would lose Grace.

Something she was not prepared to let happen.

"I guess that might have been why they fled the scene," Charlie sighed, "They stayed, then they would have to tell the police the car was stolen."

"They have a lot of blood on their hands," Connie muttered under her breath, "Thank you for letting me know Charlie. Would you know if Ethan would be open to any visitors?"

"I'm not sure," Charlie shook his head, "He was asking questions when I came to visit him. He asked if anyone had put any daisies on the memorial?"

"I haven't seen any on there," Connie looked at him.

"Turns out, they were Lily's favourite flower," Charlie mentioned, "How did we know Lily for six years, and not know that? If no one knew that, then what else wouldn't we have known?"

"How ironic is that?"

Connie ignored Lily's voice. How little had she knew about Lily? She hadn't even known about her favourite flower, nor about Iain's plan to propose, nor about Lily's pregnancy. Did she not take time to get to know any of her employees?

"I'm going to go and visit Ethan in a bit," Charlie mentioned, "Is there anything you need me to do?"

"No thank you," Connie shook her head, "I just need things to get back to normal, if it ever does get back to normal."

"Connie," Charlie sighed, "You need to make time for yourself. Your daughter's car got stolen, possibly wrecked. You're struggling to keep things together as it is."

"I'm fine!" Connie snapped at Charlie, "I'm sorry. I just need to carry on as normal. It's what Lily would have wanted."

Charlie nodded at Connie, before opening the door and leaving the room. Leaving Connie alone with her thoughts.

The emotions are slowly starting to kick in, but Connie wasn't too sure what she was feeling. Scared that Grace could end up going to prison for what she's done? Sad that Iain and Lily's plans had tragically been taken away from them? Angry that she now had no one to confide in and get a lot of her chest because she knows what's at state now and how much she'll lose if the truth comes out?

"You've made your bed."

"Now you have to lie in it."

Connie suddenly turned around, only for her to come face to face with Lily and Iain again.

"How long were you two standing behind me?" Connie nervously asked them, "And why did you two decide to torment me when you knew others were around?"

"To see if you'd crack," Iain glared at her folding his arms, "I'm impressed. You haven't cracked once."

"You know I can't tell the police," Connie sighed at them, "I'm sorry but Grace is my child."

"Don't you dare throw that at us!" Lily yelled at her, "It already hurt me for you to be glad we're dead!"

"I never once said that!" Connie stood up to face Lily, determined to show her who's in charge.

"You were thinking it," Lily fought back, "And that whole, 'I'm in charge' doesn't work on me anymore. Not since you were prepared to put yourself above everyone else in the ED."

Connie wavered a bit. How did Lily know what she was thinking? Why was Connie still envisioning her and Iain to still be here when she knows that they're gone?

"You did what you always do," Lily looked down, "But I still looked up to you. Because I thought there was a limit. I thought I was that limit! Everyone did!"

"I'm sorry!" Connie shouted at her, "I'm sorry Lily. But I don't have a choice."

"More lies," Iain stated, rolling his eyes, "I'm sorry but you did have a choice. You still do."

"What is your problem?" Connie asked them, "Both of you?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Iain asked her, "Me, Lily and Ethan were returning home from a weekend away. I was planning on proposing to Lily yesterday and we were having a baby together. Then your daughter decided that instead of pulling over to answer a text message from you of all people, she decided to take her eyes off the road for a 'quick' text. Slamming her car into ours and rolling the three of us off the road and down a hill!"

Connie slammed her eyes shut. She didn't need the image of what happened in her head, it was bad enough she knew what happened, who were there and how it occurred. But there they were, reminding her with visions and descriptions of the accident.

"You're not only covering our deaths," Iain reminded her, before drawing Lily into his arms, "You're covering our baby's death as well."

Connie tried to ignore that argument. As far as she's aware, the only person who knew Lily was pregnant before the crash happened was Lily herself. Iain might not even have been made aware of the pregnancy himself. Finding her voice, she suddenly remembered that she was in control.

Opening her eyes, she found that Lily and Iain were both gone.

Connie sighed. It will take a while before she can fully accept what has happened, but so long as she's aware that she's in control, then Iain and Lily won't bother her or cause her grief.

Turning to the door, Connie quickly walked over to open it when she saw Jan standing outside. Her cheeks were damp, and her eyes were red. Just how long had it been since she found out about Lily's pregnancy.

"Jan," Connie greeted, "Come in. Is everything okay?"

"I hope it would be," Jan answered, "I, I had a call from Ruby this morning. She mentioned what Ethan told Alicia."

Connie looked nervous about it. What was it about the weekend that Ethan remembered?

"And?" Connie asked.

"Iain knew," Jan confirmed, breaking up, "He knew about Lily's pregnancy. He knew he was going to be a dad."


I want to give a huge shout out to TheBeautifulNerd for her advice about the pregnancy test as I wasn't sure what Connie would do with the test. Thank you for your help, you're a star!

A bit of a filler chapter but I hope you enjoyed it.