Bonnie Sveen Fan: Thank you. Dixie was my original idea, but I felt as if more could have been explored between the dynamic between Lily and Duffy and I've felt that Lily held Duffy in high regards. Duffy was the best idea for it. I'm glad you're enjoying this still. I didn't want Li-Na Chao to separate Iain and Lily at all.


Chapter Seventeen

"Why are you in a good mood?" Sam asked Iain, checking the rota, "Oh weekend away. Figures."

"Hey, you've passed up on the offer," Iain replied, "Could have had a weekend away but you've chose not to go."

"To go to a dorky convention?" Sam raised her eyebrows, "No thanks. Like I'd want to be seen with a bunch of nerds in superhero costumes. Who did you sucker into with the third ticket anyway?"

"Hey, I wouldn't say 'suckered' to be precise," Iain interjected, putting air quotes on the word, "But we've actually managed to talk Lily into coming with us. I just said one thing and she agreed. Thank goodness for the plushies on the bookcase."


The atmosphere at the coffee shop was a little too lively for Connie. One table beside the window sat down a group of friends, chatting about the latest news that has been taking place. Another table sat a young girl with a blonde plait to the side typing up her assignment piece for her coursework. A third sat two friends at the bar, slurping blended coffee.

Turning around, she watched Iain and Lily waiting for her out the window. Connie nearly forgot they were following her to Sam's home today, wondering what Sam needed her help with. Maybe the reason they're still here was to ensure that everyone was able to recover from both the shock of the events and move pass it. It would explain why they came to visit her after the meeting with Grace's principal.

Connie was about to order three coffees, one for herself, the other two for Lily and Iain. Turning to the counter, she nearly ordered the three lattes, turning to face the window.

But Lily and Iain were nowhere to be seen.


The pavements were decorated with fences made up of stones. All of which were not only made up of different shapes and different colours. Looking at the other side, he could see the fields. Each square was surrounded by the stones, separating the roads from the fields beside them. Looking in front of him, the wind from the driver's fully opened window was hitting his face, making him wished he'd put on more than just a t-shirt, a jumper and his jacket.

"Seriously Iain. Did you have to open the window fully?" Ethan complained at him, "It's freezing!"

"What's wrong with the term fresh air?" Iain asked, keeping his eyes on the road, "I'm sorry but fresh air is quite good at the moment."

"For whom?" Ethan asked.

"I'm not complaining," Lily giggled, turning to face Ethan, "There's a reason Iain had opened the window."

"Why?"

"We'll explain when we get back," Iain answered, "There's going to be a few things we need to sort out."

"I'll give the landlord a," Lily was about to explain.

She was rudely interrupted when something both fast and heavy had hit her at the side, causing the seatbelt bolt to snap, throwing Lily onto Iain, before the car was knocked into the fence.

Ethan's eyes snapped open as he pushed himself up from the recliner! Heart pounding as hard as drums against his chest, he rested his good hand on there, taking deep breathes to relax himself.

In. His closed his eyes.

Out. He opened them again.

Looking around himself, he's found that he had dosed off in the sitting room. Alicia had put on a Doctor Who episode on BritBox, with the hope that it would cheer him up. That's all Alicia has been trying to do for him. Keep his mind occupied, determined to avoid any mentions of driving, or Harrington Road, or Lily and Iain.

How could he forget what happened? He told Sally that he was going to think about the counselling which should be able to help him move on from what has happened. But it didn't seem right that he would be able to move on. Whenever he closed his eyes, they were there. Whenever Alicia tries to hold his good hand, they were there. Whenever he tried to laugh, they were there.

It just didn't seem right that he survived when they didn't.

Thanks to that teenager, Iain never got the chance to propose to Lily.

Thanks to that teenager, Lily never got the opportunity to become a consultant.

Thanks to that teenager, Lily and Iain never got the chance to expand their family.

The flashback of the crash came back to Ethan! Iain, he was never given the opportunity to stop the car at the sight of the crash! That car must have been going too fast, an accident would not have been prevented. If they weren't there in the first place, it would have been the teenager who had gone through the fence. Not them!

Iain could never have stopped an accident, even when they were taking all those stops. Stops, that Ethan couldn't explain why Iain took. All services stations along the route between the hotel and back to Holby.

Ethan wanted to hate Iain. If he hadn't taken all those stops, the accident could have easily have been prevented. They would have been home. And Iain would have answered why he stupidly opened his window on route. If Iain hadn't had taken all those stops, Ethan wouldn't have been struggling to do even the simplest of tasks. If Iain hadn't had taken all those stops, we'll, Ethan would still have his best friend here.

But what would have happened to the girl that hit them if Iain hadn't had taken all those stops? At the speed she went, there'd have been no way that her car would have just stopped at the fence. It would had rolled down the hill, same way they've rolled down themselves. And the fact that there didn't seem to be anyone else in her car. It meant that the girl would have been all on her own? With no one there to call for help like he did.

As much as Ethan wanted to hate Iain for taking all those stops, he couldn't.

There was only one person who could have stopped an accident from happening.

Iain, Lily and himself? They were just at the wrong place at the wrong time.


"Where's ours?"

Connie jumped as she saw Iain and Lily walking behind her, "Could you two not do that in public please?"

"There's only one person who could stop us doing that," Lily reminded her smiling softly.

Connie knew what Lily was aiming at. Just one trip to the police station. Telling them that she had lied about the car being stolen. That they were covering for Grace's mistake. Big mistake. And then it's be all over. Lily and Iain would vanish, and Connie could have a calm peace of mind.

But that was not an option. If Grace does get caught out, then prison will be likely. Especially given that texting whilst driving may count towards dangerous driving. How long will it be before Grace would be released?

"So? Where's ours?" Iain teased, grabbing Lily's hand.

"I nearly did get you both one as well," Connie groaned, "You're coming to keep me company then?"

"Pretty much," Lily smiled, "I'm intrigued to know what Sam was asking."

"You and me both, Lily," Connie sighed, "You and me both."


Waiting at the door, Jan wondered if Gem would be up to having any visitors today. Knocking three times, she stood there rubbing her hands against her arms in a futile attempt to warm up. Apparently, next week, Holby was due to have snow, but Jan didn't want to believe it. Ironically, snow usually falls with late March to early April.

The door suddenly opened as Ruby widens the gap, "Jan?"

"I was wondering if Gem would be open to any visitors?" Jan asked her.

"It's okay," they heard a silent voice, "I wasn't planning on going anywhere."


"You two have been to Sam Nicholl's flat," Connie tried to engage with Iain and Lily, "Is there anything I need to be aware of?"

Engaging in a conversation with Iain and Lily as much as Connie didn't want to admit it, felt completely normal now. At least it has been since they've become more civil towards her. A part of her didn't want to admit it, but Connie secretly enjoyed Lily and Iain's company.

Looking at the collection of sandy orange bricks, Connie realised that she reached her destination. Walking over to the black door, she turned over to the buzzer, remembering from Sam's text that she lives in Flat 21. Pressing the buzzer, she took a step closer to the caller, waiting to hear Sam's voice on the other side.

"Hello?" the voice called.

"It's me," Connie answered.

"Come in," Sam instructed.


The second she laid eyes on the poor girl; Jan knew she wouldn't be leaving Ruby's with dry eyes.

Gem looked as if she hadn't sleep in a while. Her hair hadn't been brushed at all this morning and her eyes were as dark as shadows. Looking around the flat, Jan noticed that there were cardboard boxes which were sealed shut. All apart from one box which had been opened to reveal several jumpers…Iain's.

Its broke Jan the most to see Gem wearing Iain's favourite Batman hoodie.

"These were all Iain's?" Jan asked.

"There were a couple of Lily's as well," Ruby explained, taking in Gem's silence, "Their neighbour Sally kindly gave us the boxes."

"So their neighbours all know now?" Jan enquired.

"Yeah," Ruby explained, "Sally relayed the information to everyone. Iain and Lily were well loved in the neighbourhood. They were all asking where they were when we went."

Jan knew that information wouldn't be much of a surprise to hear. When she first met Iain she was surprised how laid back he was. How much of a laugh he enjoyed having. She wondered how everyone didn't kill him. He was completely opposite to Lily however, she was studious and determined. Mind was full of focus but to Jan, it showed how competition she was in her passion.

She was shocked to learn that Lily was Iain's girlfriend.

Then she saw the two together.

And it made all the sense in the world.

"We've collected the stuff from the spare room," Ruby explained, "The landlord gave us three months to empty the flat. But it didn't fit right with us. The flat, it still looked as if there were people living there."

Jan knew that clearing out the flat was a difficult thing to do. To be fair, she never took the time to empty Iain's locker at work, knowing that doing so, would take away his memory. But as tough as it was, it needed to be done. There would have been new people joining both their team as well as the team in the ED. No one who started would know who Iain Dean was and the things he stood for. No one would bring in a patient, expecting Lily Chao to check them in and start treating them. No one would knew exactly who they were.

Jan also thought about Connie. She seemed to have closed herself away from everyone, not letting anyone get too close. Sure she was talking to Sam a bit more, but it almost as if it was forced. Almost as if Connie was too distraught to let anyone in.

But she did let someone in. And took pride in the person she let in.

Lily.

"Is there anything I could do to help?" Ruby asked, "Do you need me back in?"

"No, it's fine," Jan mentioned, "I just wanted to see how Gem was doing. And there's also something that I needed to tell you. I've just spoken to Duffy today."


Sam's flat wasn't anything Connie Beauchamp expected.

Pale green walls surrounded the sitting room with bookshelves in a beach wood texture. Her television was next to one of the bookshelves, with the window painted on the wall to the right. On her coffee table, there were a basket of television remotes resting within the basket and next to the basket was a photo album, navy blue.

It was as if Connie was seeing a new side to Sam Nicholls that she wouldn't let anyone see.

"Make yourself at home," Sam offered, walking in with a baggy hoody on.

"I'm sorry," Connie stuttered, "This wasn't what I expected."

"I was surprised when I saw the flat too," Connie heard Lily whisper behind her.

"It's amazing what you learn about others," Iain commented next to Lily.

Connie looked around, Iain and Lily weren't there. They wouldn't be this time. Not when they were in company, Connie would have to make due with hearing their voices instead.

"A lot of people have been surprised," Sam answered, clearly not hearing anything but Connie, "I know it was last minute. But I don't know who to talk to. If people hear the message, I'm scared it would upset them. Especially considering I don't think Iain, well."

"Iain what?" Connie asked, worried.

"I don't think Iain ever truly forgave me for what happened years ago," Sam explained, "And I wouldn't blame him if he didn't."

Connie was confused. That was until she remembered Sam and Iain's history.

Sam was previously married to Dylan, but then she slept with Iain whilst they were both deployed. To Iain, he was hopeful it would lead to something special, but Sam went back to Dylan immediately, breaking Iain's heart. Then Connie heard that Sam and Iain had another one night stand whilst Adam was engaged to a man called Tom. Once again, it got Iain's hopes up, but also once again, Sam cruelly rejected Iain and went back and married Tom.

"The trouble is," Sam mentioned, "I received a voicemail from him the morning it," she took a deep breath, "happened. I thought it'd be best to leave it to later, besides I thought I would have spoken to him about it on Tuesday."

Connie soon realised the truth. That voicemail was the last words Iain had for Sam.

"Do you," Sam sighed, "Do you ever believe that when you'll know that today would be the day you die? That you would have prepared yourself for the worst?"

Connie didn't want to believe that statement would be true. If Iain and Lily knew that the day would have been their last, they would have be filled with sadness, heartbreak, denial. Trying to fight back every single minute that they would have had together.

Looking beside the television, Connie saw Lily and Iain staring at Sam. The only people in the room who knew the answer to Sam's question. And they're weren't even there to answer it.

"I'm scared," Sam whispered, wiping her eyes, "I'm scared that Iain must have known he wasn't going see Monday. I've convinced myself that Iain was calling to say goodbye. That's why I haven't played it. Does that sound silly?"

"No," Connie reassured her, "It showed that you miss him."

"I know I need to play it," Sam stuttered, "But I don't want to be alone whilst it's on. That's why I've rung you. I trust you."

Heart suddenly sunk to her stomach. Sam trusted her to provide comfort. Even more than Dylan and Jan put together. All this trust, but Connie knew she doesn't deserve it.

Not at all.

Not after the actions she's taking to ensure the truth behind Iain's death was kept hidden.

"Leave it on speaker," Connie decided, "If at anytime you want to stop playing, stop. Don't put yourself through any more pain."

Sam nodded carefully as she selected the voicemail clip on Iain's name.

17/01/2022.

Just looking at the date alone was going to be hard for Connie.

Sam pressed the play button, closing her eyes as she suddenly heard a voice relaxing on the device.

"Hi Sam, it's me, well my name should appear on the dial. Unless you've deleted me by mistake."

Sam snorted at that statement. Typical Iain.

"Well the weekends been pretty eventful but for all the right rea-cut that out Chuckles! I will get you back for that!"

Connie smirked at Lily, before turning to Iain who took the opportunity to pull her into his arms and kissing her neck. Oh Iain knew where she was ticklish.

"Turns out I've been a bit of an idiot. Why did no one tell me I hid it in the worst possible place?"

Sam and Connie looked at each other confused. What had Iain been referring to by that?

"Long story cut short, may have to hold off my new year resolution to late November time. Lily and I, we've just found something out. I'll explain more on Tuesday as I kind of need a favour. It's early days so we've agreed on just telling one person."

Sam's eyes widened at the statement. That was the call? Iain needed her help? But for what?

"New Years resolution?" Connie asked her, "When had Iain ever kept one?"

"It was one he was determined to keep," Sam smiled, looking at the ceiling.

"Anyway, after I tell you, please do me a favour? Please don't tell Gem that you knew before she did. It's going to take us ages to prepare and if she finds out you knew before she did, I'll be heading for an early grave!"

Sam's eyes froze at that statement.

"Turn it off," Connie heard Iain warn her, "Quick!"

Connie quickly paused the voicemail before the voice in the phone could say anything else. Looking at Sam, she noticed Sam was starting to stand up and using the back of the sofa, dragged herself before her knees gave in. Connie quickly usher over to her side, scooping her in her arms as Sam began to sob.

"He had," Sam sobbed into Connie, "He had no idea what was going to happen."


"In other news, police are pleading with members of the public with information regarding the accident taking place on Sunday to speak up. Thirty-one year old Lily Chao and Thirty-three year old Iain Dean were both-"

Alicia quickly changed the channel as Ethan keep his eyes fixated on the screen. A part of her really didn't want this to keep repeating itself. But another part of her also wanted it to keep playing. If the person responsible saw the last impact, then maybe they would realise that it's gone too far…they'd turn themselves in.

Looking at the two plates, Alicia set them both in front of them. She watched carefully as Ethan picked up the cut up pieces of omelette from his plate before drawing the fork to his mouth. He was due to go back to hospital in a couple of weeks for a x-ray on his arm. Deep down, she vowed to go with him. But she's also terrified.

Especially given what happened on route back home.

"I can get some ketchup?" Alicia offered, "Or some mayonnaise?"

Ethan shook his head. He felt guilty. Alicia had been nothing but kind to him but all he's doing is pushing her away. Scared of what will happen to her.

"Ethan?" Alicia asked him.

"I'm not hungry," Ethan whispered, pushing the plate away, "I'm sorry. I think I'm going to head to bed."

"Ethan?" Alicia watched as Ethan stood up, before quietly watching him walk to his room.

Alicia felt helpless. Ethan is clearly not coping well and nothing she's doing is helpful at all.

She wished there was someone she could talk to. But everyone was upset about Iain and Lily.

What could Alicia do without getting help?

Suddenly her mind turned to the television as she quietly turned it back to the news.

"It had been reported that mobile phone usage behind the wheel had been on the rise amongst young drivers."


"You just had to joke about 'an early grave'," Connie glared at Iain, "Didn't you?"

Connie ended up leaving after ensuring that Sam was relaxed. The poor girl ended up crying herself into exhaustion, so much so that Connie knew she needed a rest. Plus Connie decided to contact Jan herself to inform her that Sam wasn't coping well. It broke her heart when Jan disclosed her day, she hadn't even left Gem's yet.

"Don't you think I feel awful already?" Iain looked up at her, "I have never seen that side of Sam before. She was usually calm and always kept her emotions in check."

"Grief can do that sometimes," Lily whispered, standing by the window, "It's a vicious cycle. Especially when it comes to a shock to lose someone."

"I'm sorry," Connie sighed, realising she was a bit harsh on Iain, "I take it you had no idea what was going to happen then?"

Iain and Lily looked at each other, both confused over what to say. Of course, there would have been no right answer to Connie's question.

If they did have an idea about what would happen, maybe they would had done anything they possibly could to prevent it. Maybe Iain could have booked another night at the hotel and had made Ethan find his own way back. Maybe the two of them would had stayed in bed, just wasting another day. Sure, it would have been wasted, but at least they would have another day.

But if they hadn't, then the day would have been a shock. Especially given that they would have gotten married, have a baby and even moved to the countryside like they've always discussed. All those dreams that the two had for the future, it would have been taken away from them. Connie felt saddened as well, if just Iain had pulled through then he would had received news that both Lily and their child were gone. If Lily had just survived, she would have been devastated and could have struggled raising a child on her own.

But it hurt Connie after taking one good look at them, that they never answered her question.

"Whatever we say," Lily reminded her, "It's what you believe. You don't know the answer yourself."

"So, we really can't say it," Iain finished for her.

"I just wished there was something I could do," Connie whispered to them, "I wished I could have gone back in time and told you three to stay in the hotel."

"Be careful," Lily warned her, walking towards her.

"What do you mean?"

"Think about Grace," Iain reminded her, "She was on her own that evening. She had her phone in her hand. The only reason she put it down was because she dropped it after hitting us."

"If we weren't there," Lily placed her airy hand on Connie's, "What would have happened to her?"

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Connie turned around to face the door. Keeping her eyes firmly on Iain and Lily, she gently walked over, reaching the handle. Turning the handle, she kept her eyes on them, not daring to look at the person on the other side of the door.

"Hey," her thoughts were snapped back the second she heard Charlie's voice, "I'm sorry, you have company?"

Connie turned to Charlie before looking into the sitting room. Iain and Lily were once again nowhere to be seen.

"No," Connie moved a strand of hair behind her ear, "I just phoned to check in on Sam. She was distraught. She listened to Iain's final voicemail."

"Poor thing," Charlie sighed, "I'm scared this will be the thing that would break her. She's strong willed."

"Grief is a vicious cycle," Connie whispered, repeating Lily's words, "Would you like to come in?"

"No thank you," Charlie mentioned, "I just came by to let you know. Duffy had made the final arrangements."

"You mean?" Connie couldn't get the words out of her mouth, knowing what Charlie was referring to, "When?"

"Next Tuesday," Charlie answered, "At the church."