It had been difficult for Simon not to intervene during the confrontation. Somehow he felt that whatever he might say or do would only intensify the situation. He had never seen Kate that upset, especially with Jamie or Matt. Jamie had said some awful things, some of them true and some of them misunderstandings. But what Matt had said to her… it was a complete rejection of everything that made Kate who she was. He'd torn down the stubborn independent nature that allowed her to be so unpredictable yet powerful at the same time. Simon could see her breaking down under the weight of Matt's frustration. It had left her abandoned and destroyed.

He knew not to speak or move after everyone had left. All he could do was watch as Kate drifted by him like a ghost. It was agonizing to see her so weakened, a far fall from the unbreakable pillar of cynicism that could withstand anything. He wanted desperately to reach out to her. To tell her that none of it was true. That she was worth so much more than that.

A deep caution held him back. As much as it ripped him apart to see her so fragile, he worried that if he tried to disturb her that it would completely shatter her. He was caught between a frantic need to save her from the misery she was brewing in and the respect to give her space. It left him in a nervous jitter.

He closed the front door and wandered from room to room, the painful apprehension refusing to let go. A thousand times, he talked himself out of going to her room or knocking on her bedroom door. He didn't know how he could let her suffer like this, alone in her room when he'd been so confident the previous night. She deserved to know how much she was worth. That she was capable of such amazing and unexpected things.

That she was capable of creating him.

He thought he would know exactly what to do with this new freedom. That he would be able to fix anything in his human's life. It was all so flexible and organic, something that the cold, calculating logic of CyberLife protocol would never be able to touch. But the break from CyberLife had its own host of negative qualities, the strongest being overwhelming, crushing uncertainty. He wanted desperately to make a decision and follow through with it. If it felt right, then it must be right. But there was no guarantee. Not like the comfortable and ignorant rails of protocol that always led to a stark conclusion. Now he found himself trapped in between the desperate need to let the chaos lead him back to that blend of positive and negative emotions, but also the fear of incredible doubt now that his reliable protocol was gone.

Simon moved into the living room and finally paused, resting his back against the wall. So much had changed in the past twenty-four hours. Jamie was gone. A small part of him was glad for it even though it had caused so much destruction. Matt would never be returning and Simon felt a strange satisfaction towards that as well. And on top of it all, Simon was able to feel in relation to all of those things. This was his life now, if he could call it living.

Something moved against his leg and he looked down to see Spot curling around his ankle. The cat looked up at him and meowed, his blue LED barely visible underneath the thick orange fur. Simon watched the cat for a moment, a strange bewilderment flowing through him. He'd wanted so much to be like Data. To explore what it meant to be human. Now that he was here, he wondered if Data had any idea what it was he was really looking for.

Simon straightened and moved again. He doubted Data would have felt what he was feeling now. That debilitating helplessness. The need to do something yet being trapped at the same time. A sense of petrified weightlessness in not having the constant instruction that he knew would always lead him along a logical path. The exciting freedom that came with making the decisions that produced a pleasant feeling. And the lingering elation he experienced at having the reason behind it all in his arms…

He stopped suddenly, the thirium nearly freezing in his system. He stood up straighter, his body going numb.

Kate stood with her back to him at the end of the hallway, gripping her arms against her chest as she stared out the window at the snow. Her head was bowed and her hair fell over her shoulders in thick waves. She rubbed her arm softly, her whole appearance suggesting she was deep in thought. As the snow drifted softly in front of her, she shifted slightly on the spot so that she had one foot behind her as if she were trying to keep warm.

Simon was afraid to move. He didn't want to make a sound. It took a moment for him to believe she was really there. He simply took in the image of her standing alone against the snow and let the wave of familiar terror sweep over him again. She was in so much pain and turmoil. There was so much for her to fear and be ashamed of. She deserved to know that she meant more than that. She deserved to know what she meant to him.

He looked away for a moment, drawing up his determination. She still needed space. He shouldn't interfere. This was an unbelievably tense time for her and he could only guess at the amount of emotional pain she was in. It was safer if he let her sort them out on her own for a while. There would be time for healing later. He could tell her all the things he'd been meaning to say. He would tell her about his break from CyberLife and protocol and how he'd rejected Jamie on his own. That he no longer lived in cold logic. That the unbelievable power he felt was all because of her and what she'd always wanted him to be…

He was already stepping silently towards her before he could stop himself. The terror grew stronger as he approached her and it mixed with the memory of the euphoria. He couldn't leave her alone like this, a pale shadow of her former self. He would take all the pain from her if he could, just like he did when she had collapsed in front of him. If he had one duty left as a machine it was to help his human. And right now she needed him.

The urge to stop and simply run was almost overpowering as he moved behind her. He was putting everything at risk. She was still so lost. So fragile. He couldn't think of a single word that would make any of this better. All he could do was feel destroyed with her in her misery. He could exist in this world where nothing was going according to plan and everything was fleeting. She didn't have to feel alone, not if they were experiencing the same thing. And it took so little for him to know what she felt.

He found himself cautiously reaching out to her, stopping just inches from her shoulder. There was still time for him to turn away. She would never have to know he was there and he didn't have to risk making this worse for her. He was being reckless just like he had been when he'd decided to start scanning her dreams. He didn't know why he needed to feel this. It wouldn't change anything. All it would do was satisfy the strange surge of emotions he'd been feeling since he'd abandoned Jamie in the hallway and took Kate's hand instead, burying himself in the safety of having her against him in a way that made him believe she felt some degree of the same thing…

Kate shifted slightly, and Simon felt his heart nearly stop. Before he could move she turned suddenly, her expression widening as she locked her hazel eyes with his.

Simon lowered his hand slightly, his terror ebbed only by the distress of her appearance. Her eyes were somewhat red around the edges and there were smears on her cheeks as if she had been rubbing tears away. The tension in her face was weary as though she were exhausted from her emotional ordeal. She barely looked alive.

Simon could only return her gaze, unable to move or speak. She had him rooted to the spot, committed to being there with her. It was useless to try and explain what he was doing or why. He hardly knew what he was doing. His mind was scrambling for some kind of rational behavior that she could interpret as just his usual android protocol. Something he could use to direct her anger and confusion at. But even as he struggled to find an easy solution he knew there wouldn't be one. There was no other reason for him to be this close to her, reaching for her in her most fragile and vulnerable state.

Despite the panic, he was perplexed as he studied her expression. She didn't look angry or suspicious of him. Her eyebrows were drawn and her eyes lit in a weary kind of focus, her mouth open slightly as her chest rose and fell with each breath. Simon felt a shocking tension grip him. It was almost as if she were desperate for something. Clinging to some kind of expectation that he was supposed to deliver. And if it wasn't for the blind desire that had driven him to find her the previous night, he would have pretended not to know what it was.

He forced himself past his doubt, raising his hand slowly and taking a step towards her. She was only inches from him, looking up at him with that same desperate resolution. It was as if she were surrendering to him. There was so much danger in what he was doing. His hand grazed her cheek and he felt an electric thrill at the sensation. It urged him to forget what he felt to be right and wrong. They were both well beyond that now.

He ran his thumb along her cheek as he held onto the point at her neck, and Kate drew in a breath as though she had been stunned. Her whole appearance changed, the tension in her body gaining strength from something. He needed to know what it was. He needed to eliminate all doubt. Silently the flesh color of his hand melted away down his arm and the forbidden flood of information surged in, freezing the breath in his throat.

He was back again. Back in the dark room that he wasn't supposed to be in and absorbing that powerful mix of positive and negative emotions. It overwhelmed his system in an alarming energy, pushing everything else out. But this time it wasn't random. It had a powerful focus that seemed to be honing in and organizing, finding new power in its purpose. And that purpose was shockingly close…

He breathed out slowly, letting the feeling slowly fill him. Kate was still watching him, leaning softly into his hand as if she were trying to read him as well. He could hardly believe that the source of the emotion would be this obvious. It was in everything that she did. Everything she was. His human. His master. His entire reason for being…

The feeling urged him into a new sense of determination. There had never been anything like this in his programming. He leaned forward into her, pulling her slightly towards him so that she drew in a sharp breath against his cheek. His heart hammering and the stream of exhilarating information guiding him on, he tilted his head and slowly closed his mouth against her lips.

She tensed up against him, breathing sharply so that her shoulders rose. A wave of debilitating shock seemed to freeze Simon in place sending his system into a frenzy as he rested against her, his forehead touching hers. The shock faded slightly, becoming replaced by that overwhelming determination again. He moved into her and this time she met him, opening her mouth and taking him in, driving the shock into a deeper chaos. He held her into him by the point on her neck as the flow of her emotion powered his movement. This was all for him. The euphoric elation that had caused him to reject all his programming and become something that was never supposed to exist. It was all here, showing him the way in the void of no software or protocol. And she was going with him.

He twisted slightly sideways, pulling her further into him as he desperately took in each closing of her mouth. The feeling was building in him, changing shape and moving from one level of aching desire to the next. He knew she was feeling the same thing as she pressed against his chest, her breath becoming strong and the pattern of information she was sending to him growing more wild. She wanted him. She was giving herself to him in a way that made the chaotic scramble of data make sense. And he needed more of it. He wouldn't be satisfied until he lost all sense of control.

He breathed out harshly against the warmth of her mouth as he closed into her, holding her neck firmly in his hand as if afraid she would fall from him. The tension in her body and her own labored breathing as she met his mouth fueled his energy. The chaos was home. It was where they were always meant to be. If he could surrender enough of himself to her so she would have even an ounce of understanding how much control she had over him, then it would make his entire existence worth it…

She paused against him, her breath warming his cheek as she pressed her forehead against his. Her shoulders rose and fell as she breathed in heavily. Before Simon could draw her in again, she moved to the side and stepped past him, breaking that precious connection and severing the stream of data.

He stood frozen in a numb limbo as if he'd been dropped from a terminal height. His thoughts scrambled and raced over eachother, threatening to go back to a rational process. As the skin on his arm returned, it closed off the last of the sensations he'd been experiencing through the stream. The energy from them grasped at his mind as if begging to remain. He lowered his hand and turned, a desperate ache burning through him. He needed it again. He needed to feel that powerful. But she had left him…

She was standing a few feet away with her back to him, frozen in mid-step and her arms wrapped around herself. Simon's heart pounded in his chest as he watched her, his mind racing with doubts and questions. She'd wanted him. She'd been losing herself in the chaos with him. Everything had felt so right and had been getting stronger. A few more moments and there would have been no going back.

A deep fear began to grow inside him. There must have been something he was missing. Some variable that he wasn't able to identify in the flow of information. Or something she was doing that had given him a different impression. It had all been so real and powerful to him but this was all new. He had no idea what he was doing. And for one heart-wrenching moment he wished CyberLife was there to tell him how to fix the situation.

Kate slowly turned towards him and he straightened, the familiar wave of apprehension flowing through him. She was running a hand against her neck, her eyes lost and unfocused. Simon frantically tried to read her expression for any hint of the feeling he had been sharing with her. He couldn't have simply imagined it all. He needed to know it had been real. That she was feeling as compelled and delirious as he was. There had been meaning to it even if it was all beyond his comprehension. Anything was better than losing the feeling that she had given him.

She looked up at him and her hazel eyes were lit with a strange kind of panic. His heart continued to race as he studied her. Something else was hiding in the tension of her face as if she were fighting against it. It was oddly conflicted, making it harder for him to settle his nerves. As she faced him, she brushed her fingers against her mouth and the expression suddenly became clearer. A wave of longing relief swept over him. She had the smallest, almost barely detectable hint of a smile.

She lowered her hand and glanced at the ground as she seemed to regain her senses. Simon watched her, that powerful feeling returning to him although under some degree of control. He fought to contain it as she looked at him again, her eyes bringing back more memories of that frantic passion.

"I um…" She ran her hand over her mouth again, and Simon felt energized by the sound of her voice. He gazed at her, clinging to her every move. She straightened, the light smile tugging at her lips. "I think I'm going to catch some sleep."

There was no frustration in her voice. No pain. She sounded unsure of herself, the casual tone pushed by an underlayer of breathlessness. It was as if she were pretending to be something else.

Simon didn't know how to respond. Part of him was glad she was speaking to him and at least attempting to be positive. It was an improvement over the melancholy ghost she'd been existing as all afternoon. The other part of him was anxious about her need to hide what she was feeling. He couldn't be certain to the degree of withdrawal she had from him. It was troubling to think that he'd done something unforgivable. That she hadn't felt what he'd been feeling for her. He didn't want her to fear him. At the same time, he couldn't bring himself to beg her not to.

She rubbed her arm again and drew in a deep breath, and Simon noticed that her posture was growing stronger. She looked at him with that small smile, and he couldn't help but feel a wave of hope.

"Maybe you can wake me up later?" she said. She tilted her head slightly so that her hair fell to one side. "I'll put Star Trek on."

Simon gazed at her, the wave of hope growing into a mild confidence at the sight of her smile. It was as if she was slowly coming back to life. The old weariness had gone and there was a nervous spark in her eyes. She held her arms tightly around herself and stared at him, shifting slightly on the spot. There was still something affecting her but it was difficult to tell what it was. It couldn't be the events of the morning. They were a distant memory, not a hint of sadness reflected on her face. But if it wasn't that then it must be…

He breathed in slowly, taking in the sight of Kate restored in front of him. He gave her a nod and was also nervously aware that he was also trying to appear normal. "Okay," he said.

Kate nodded back, lowering her gaze and still unable to fully hide her smile. After a while she finally turned, moving slowly toward her bedroom door. Her movement was slow and hesitant, as though she was considering something else. Simon watched her as she stopped at the door, and he felt his heart begin to race again. There was so much uncertainty. So many ways that this could all still go seriously wrong. But as the doubt plagued him, she looked up at him again, that warm shock still in her eyes. It filled him with a subtle sense of satisfaction.

Even if he couldn't tell her how much she meant to him, he could still find solace in the fact that she was no longer suffering in horrible despair. He'd somehow done the impossible and drawn her up from her misery. And that was enough to keep the feeling of elation going.

He watched as she looked away again, and she ran her hand across her lips. Then she opened the bedroom door and silently stepped out of sight, closing the door quietly behind her.