Chapter Three: Sassy's Candy Knickers
Angelina made a retching noise at the same time Alicia whooped.
"Finally," Alicia said, "we're getting to the good stuff. I mean, sure you're basically dry humping Graham Montague, the most arrogant Slytherin-"
"Malfoy," Ange corrected, then gagged a little again.
"Okay, second most arrogant Slytherin to exist," Alicia said, "in his ridiculous mansion flat. Sure he's been insufferable, insulted you ten times over that night alone-"
"At least twenty times," Ange mumbled.
"-and neither of you are even remotely drunk. In fact, you're dead ass sober, yet you're still climbing him like a tree."
Ange gagged again.
"But its been what, eight months since your last fella?" Alicia said, switching tactics and seemingly going for sympathy. Or maybe pity. It was hard to tell. "And you said he lost the Flint troll look? Well, I suppose he's looking hotter then."
"He is," Katie said. It was the hardest thing she'd ever admitted in her life. Why why why had she let Montague take off his shirt? And looked?
"So, you're young," Alicia said. She was trying not to smirk. She failed. "and he's fit. You haven't gotten a piece of arse in a while. And this one literally grabbed you and-"
"Okay stop," Ange groaned, "Unless it gets funny, like he wanted you to slap him with licorice wands."
"It doesn't," Katie said, "and you're right. The end. We had sex."
"No!" Alicia said, sitting up straight, smirk falling off her face.
"Yes," Katie said firmly.
"You can't possibly leave it there," Alicia whined, "we've listened to every detail about fries you put in milkshakes, your friends dancing until they broke their dress straps, every quip, every insult...and you're going to stop right when we're getting to the juicy stuff?"
"Juicy," Ange cackled, then she grimaced. "Ew. Juicy with Montague."
"We had sex," Katie said, recovering after her full body shudder from Angelina's comment, "and then I tried to grab my knickers but I panicked he was going to wake up and I left without them."
"Rookie mistake," Alicia said thoughtfully, "but maybe we could do some sort of reconnaissance mission to his place, right, send him an owl that his mother's died or something, break in-"
"We're not breaking into Montague's flat," Ange said. Even drunk she was still the responsible one.
"Well maybe we can blackmail him into sending them back," Alicia said with fresh enthusiasm. "What humiliating things do we know about Montague?"
"We can tell everyone he slept with Katie," Ange said.
"Hey!" Katie yelped, "how is that humiliating for him? I'm the one who can get blackmailed with this information!"
"He's a pure-blood," Alicia agreed with Ange like Katie hadn't spoken, "someone's bound to give him shite for hanging out in Muggle clothes in a Muggle club with Muggles and then banging the socks off a Muggleborn-"
"I wasn't wearing socks," Katie interjected.
"Yeah," Ange agreed, "he's probably just as embarrassed that he-"
"You don't think," Katie said, "that given our revelations about Pucey hitting on you, Alicia, and Warrington hitting on you, Ange, that it's more likely they'd give him a high five? That they might even-" she stopped to take a deep breath. This had occurred to her afterwards, when she'd really processed something Montague had said during, "-have a bet going? Which one of them gets one of us in bed first?"
There was a horrified silence. Katie had hoped her friends would rush to tell her she was being silly.
"That might be true," Alicia said instead, "wow. I'm sorry, Kates. That's….wow."
"He's an ass," Ange said, more skeptically, "but is he such an ass he'd spread it around to every guy we know that he slept with Katie?"
"Yes," Katie and Alicia said together, their eyes trained on the flower explosion.
"Well," Alicia said, "now you have to tell us details."
"No," Katie said.
"No, listen, not just for my amusement!" Alicia said, waving her hands about. "But because we need to hear it for possible retaliatory tactics!"
"No," Katie repeated, deeply uncomfortable. It wasn't what Montague had done that she didn't want her friends to know. It was what she had done.
"But-"
"Leave it, Alicia," said Angelina, who, even though her eyes were crossing due to their copious day drinking, had seemed to pick up on what was upsetting Katie. "If you think of anything funny Katie, just tell us and we'll use it. Otherwise, let's come up with a plan to deal with this."
"A plan?" Katie asked.
"Yeah," Alicia said, clearly annoyed she wasn't getting details. "Because he's totally going to tell every detail to his little friends unless we stop him."
They'd spent the rest of the next hour debating how to deal with the situation, bandying around such absurd ideas as casting memory charms, unforgivable curses, and bribing Harry to sleep with Pansy Parkinson instead to create a much larger scandal. Sadly, the last one had been the most legal of all the suggestions. Edith the waitress had joined the conversation finally, and suggested a number of Muggle tactics that confused Ange and Alicia. They'd left the bouquet with the very delighted Edith, who told them to stop by next Sunday to give her an update, after Alicia had snatched the card and shoved it in her purse for evidence.
"Ooh, try this on Katie," Alicia said, holding up a deep red very short dress that plunged in the front, "our tits are too big. But yours are perfect."
"Thanks," Katie said sourly, because that had triggered a memory of Montague commenting on her body the night before.
"Montague would love it," Ange mumbled.
"That's it," Katie said, putting back the blue skirt she'd just picked off he rack, "I'm done with this."
"No, come on," Alicia wheedled, "we need a plan, and Ange needs-" she stopped with a quick, guilty look at Angelina.
"Ange needs to get away from all the shops frequented by witches where everyone will be calling her a brother fucker," Angelina said sourly. Her drunken state was turning morose.
"Fine," Katie said, "but knock it off with those comments about Montague."
"What?" Alicia said, "he would love it. Show up to some charity event that pure-bloods always frequent, where the nice pure-blood faux virgins are dressed from ankle to neck in the finest modest robes money can buy, covered in jewels, and you'll trot in looking like a sexy long legged lioness. Watch Montague choke to death on his own saliva. We win!"
"Or watch as everyone calls me a hooker all night," Katie said sourly.
"Well, you've got a fifty percent chance of the first option!" Alicia said cheerfully. "Just try it on!"
"Yeah," Ange said, "let's buy you a bunch of scandalous outfits and watch Montague twist in the wind, pining for what he can never have."
"That was very coherent for a drunk girl," Alicia said, "also, let's say 'what he can never have again,' yeah?"
Katie heard a whisper of Montague telling her how great her legs were when they'd been in his bed.
"Yeah," she said with sudden enthusiasm, "why not? Let's buy me a bunch of revealing Muggle wear."
"Excellent," Alicia said happily, "let's buy some for George to enjoy too, what do you say? But for Ange, let's focus on these tits."
Alicia's boundless cheerfulness and Angelina's relentless drunken asides had somehow convinced Katie that this could maybe all work out in the end. But then they'd gotten back to their flat and seen the towering stack of gold wrapped boxes that awaited Katie. She hadn't even tried to stop Alicia from tearing into the boxes, or Ange from reading the card aloud to them all, aside from a weak reminder that they should check the boxes for curses soon.
"Bell," Angelina read, and her left eyebrow raised, "back to calling you Bell, I see. Huh. Anyway, 'Bell, got you some more knickers – if you can call them that- to replace the ones you gave me.'"
"I didn't give them to him," Katie said indignantly, "that was an accident!"
"Why doesn't he just send your knickers? Is he going to wear them?" Alicia cackled, opening the first box with a tearing of paper. "What the-" she held up a bizarre pair of crotch-less panties covered in pink bows on the sides.
"I had Sassy order them," Ange read, her eyes darting to the next box Alicia was opening, which contained what appeared to be a matching set of candy knickers and bra, "Wear one of them when I get you next weekend for that pizza."
"He sent his house elf to buy you Muggle knickers?" Alicia shrieked. "His house elf?"
"He spelled pizza as p-e-e-z-a-h too," Ange laughed. "Katie, how did you ever fuck this guy?"
Katie's head was down on the counter, a rogue purple rose petal squished into her left cheek.
"He looked surprisingly good with his shirt off and wet," she admitted to the counter.
"There's one that's made out of pink sequins in the shape of a unicorn!" Alicia said happily, holding up a pair of knickers.
"Those are fantastic," Ange said with tipsy enthusiasm.
"Take them," Katie said.
"George will LOVE them," Alicia squealed, "especially if you tell him who bought them."
"A house elf named Sassy?" Katie said.
"With Montague's money. For Katie. Because of the fornication," Alicia said with unhealthy glee.
"We are not telling George!" Katie said with sudden vigor, her head popping up with the petal still sticking to her cheek.
There were not many people she could think of that she wanted to know less about her nocturnal activities the day before then George Weasley.
"He'd find it funny," Ange insisted with a tiny hiccup.
Alicia also looked skeptical. "Well, anyway, oh, this one has wings attached to the bra!"
"He's discovered Victoria's Secret," Katie groaned.
"Who's Victoria and what is her secret?" Alicia demanded, turning the gold and white bra this way and that.
"No one knows," Katie mumbled, "she's a woman of mystery. And body lotions."
"This one is red and sparkly!" Ange said, joining in the unwrapping with enthusiasm. "I don't think these are sequins though they look too—Merlin's Pants!"
She turned the bra and knicker set around to show Katie and Alicia with her mouth half open.
"Are those rubies?" Alicia screamed. "Actual rubies?"
"Wow," Ange said, "your game is so strong, Katie. Teach us your secrets."
The pit of dread that had been in Katie's stomach since she'd woken up naked in Montague's bed which had been the size of a mid sized elephant plummeted.
"I told you I don't want to talk about it," she said, stiffly.
"You have to tell us some details," Alicia insisted. "Because we've got to know why Montague is sending you this stuff. I mean, one bouquet is a taunt. Two, still perhaps a taunt. He's rich enough. But this?" she gestured at the ruby studded knickers. "This is a man in love."
Katie burst out laughing. She laughed so hard she felt sick.
"What?" Alicia said, annoyed.
"Alicia's right," Ange said, "I mean, he's at least looking for some more action. That's good."
"It's not good," Katie said, "and how can you say George will find this funny? Have you both lost your marbles? Have you forgotten the time the twins shoved Montague into a vanishing cabinet just for trying to take points?"
"Fred wouldn't find it funny," Ange said, "you're right about that. He'd be pretty mad at you actually. But George will think this is hilarious. Particularly if you've got Montague whipped."
"I call dibs on the candy pair," Alicia said, ripping open the next package, "Ange, take the wings and the unicorn. Dazzle George with—oh!" she pulled out a midnight blue lingerie set that twinkled like it was studded with tiny stars.
"Keep this one and the ruby set Katie," Ange said, "we'll take the ridiculous ones. Do you want the crotch-less pair Alicia?"
"Take all of them," Katie said firmly, "Alicia, take the flowers into work with you on Monday."
"And explain how I got them?" Alicia said archly.
"You're right," Katie said, drawing her wand. "Let's burn everything."
Alicia snatched the wand from her hand. "You leave my candy bra alone, Katie Bell!"
"He really sent his house elf to buy this," Ange said, holding up a fluffy yellow bra and knicker set with awe.
"But how?" Alicia said, "this is clearly Muggle wear. Oh! Maybe he's lying and picked it out himself."
"Maybe he sent his mum," Ange said gleefully, "told her he'd finally found a proper pure-blood miss."
"And that caused his mother to buy this?" Katie said, shaking the winged bra.
"The angel who took her useless son off her hands," Alicia said.
"He'd never want his mum to know," Katie said darkly. "He's got younger brothers. He could get disowned for this."
"For what?" Alicia asked.
"For sleeping with a Muggleborn, obviously," Katie said.
Ange snorted.
"That's as common to them as cursing Harry's name in private," Alicia said, "Katie, luv, you are aware the habit of screwing the undesirables is a favorite pure-blood sport? You just can't marry them."
Unexpectedly, Katie felt her throat constrict. She didn't even want to date Montague, certainly not marry him. But to hear the blunt reminder that she'd slept with a guy who didn't consider her worthy of consideration as a person was painful to face.
Montague was kissing her and it was nice. That was a sentence that never should've passed through Katie's head. Ever. She pulled her face away from Montague.
"Put me down," she said firmly.
At some point, he'd let go of her calves and put his arm around her back instead. That meant her legs were actively betraying her by wrapping themselves around his torso.
Montague gripped her tightly for a moment, and then loosened his grip. Katie untangled her legs, gaining her feet again. They were both breathing oddly. Katie didn't know what to do. Should she look unruffled? Smug? Disgusted? Should she flee? She forced herself to make eye contact. She couldn't show weakness.
Montague licked his lips.
"Nice kiss," he said.
"I've had better," Katie said with disdain.
Had she, though? Montague made a repulsively smug face like he didn't believe her. Katie bristled. "That Muggle bartender for one."
"I can beat him," Montague said. There was a sense of coiled anger underneath his skin. "Give me another shot."
Katie opened her mouth, fully intending on laughing at Montague, who was begging her for a chance to give her the best snog of her life.
"One shot," came out of her mouth instead.
Who had possessed her? What was she doing? Had Montague given her Veritaserum? There wasn't time to dwell because Montague was kissing her again, his tongue far more active in her mouth, his left arm around her waist, pulling her in, his right hand on her face, his thumb brushing on her cheek. That settled it. She, Katie Bell, righteous Gryffindor, was receiving the best kiss of her life from Graham Montague, asshole Slytherin. She probably should stop this madness immediately. But she remembered the way her last boyfriend had looked when he'd broken up with her, the things he'd said. She thought of how Montague had called her Katie Long Legs for years. She'd always thought this was an insult, a play on Daddy Long Leg spiders, but it was possible that it had been Montague's pathetic way of flirting with her. It had always struck her as odd that he'd called her Katie at all, when the rest of the Slytherins exclusively called her Bell.
The kiss went on and on, until Katie's legs had half given out (she blamed the lateness of the night) and she stumbled into Montague, half knocking them down until they fell onto a heap on the floor. It should've ended the kiss but it seemed Montague had no intention of breaking apart. He rolled them over on the pristine floor until he was on top of her, his left arm underneath them, the right hand drawing up Katie's left leg, his hand skimming over her calf and knee, up to her thigh, underneath her tiny skirt, dragging her leg to wrap around him. Katie, for some reason, was letting him.
He removed his left arm from underneath them and pulled her right leg up as well, dropping his left hand and bringing it back to her face as she gripped Montague between her thighs, her brain screaming at her and asking her what the hell was she doing snogging Graham Montage on the damn floor with her legs wrapped around him with her skirt up so high she knew her knickers were visible.
Katie pushed down all thoughts and forced herself to feel. When was the last time she'd done something stupid and reckless? It had been the Battle of Hogwarts. No need to guess. She had stopped all foolishness immediately after the battle, become cautious and staid, and repressed all her instincts to be a stupid Gryffindor out of trauma.
Well the war was over. Didn't she deserve to have some fun?
Montague's right hand, which had been making tiny movements up her thigh still, hesitated, then made it's way to her knickers, rubbing her gently between her legs, then, when Katie didn't slap him, a little harder. If Katie hadn't already shut off her fear she would've been horrified at herself for pushing back against Montague's hand with a sigh. But there was time for that later.
Montague groaned as he continued to rub her. Their kisses were getting sloppier due to lust, and Katie realized Montague had drawn her knickers to the side in order to slip his hand inside and she yanked her mouth away with a gasp.
She waited for Montague to mock her but he merely smiled at her and continued making her squirm, leaning forward and sucking on her neck until Katie, in between the assault on her neck and the fingers probing her gently below made a terribly embarrassing noise of pleasure.
Montague let go of her neck and kissed his way up her neck to her ear.
"Still not the best kiss of your life, Bell?" he whispered.
"I don't know," Katie said breathlessly, it had been so long since she'd been pleasured by anyone but herself.
She felt like she was going to fly apart already. Montague was surprisingly skilled.
"Care to give me another demonstration?" She asked.
She wanted to stop Montague looking at her that way.
He obliged and kissed her again, This couldn't do. He was far too in control of himself. Katie drew her hands up from her sides where she'd been awkwardly clenching them into the soft rug, and did what a buried part of her had been wanting to do all night and moved her hands on Montague's body with far more eagerness then she'd applied the ointment.
Montague groaned, burying his face back in her neck.
"Fuck you're so wet, Bell," he mumbled, and Katie felt like dying of humiliation.
"Shut up," Katie said through her teeth, "or I won't be for much longer."
"Why," Montague said, his voice constricted, "it's so fucking hot."
He took one of her hands and placed it on the front of his trousers to prove his point and Katie gasped when she touched the evidence that Montague was enjoying this interaction quite a lot. Her hand closed for a second from shock and Montague groaned.
"See?" he said, "hot."
They began kissing again but when Montague tried to remove her knickers Katie stopped him.
"I'm not fucking you on the floor," she said severely.
"Not a problem," Montague said, and then he removed his hand from her knickers and sat up, pulling Katie to her feet, then picking her up while she squealed with surprise.
"Look, I can even be all romantic," he smirked at her, carrying her down a long hallway and kicking a door open.
"So romantic," Katie said with an eye-roll, but then Montague had dropped her on his enormous bed and pressed her to the velvet comforter, pulling down her knickers and looking at them in his hand for a second.
"What in Salazar's name is this?" he asked her, bewildered.
"My knickers, Montague," Katie said, "have you never seen a girl's knickers? No, don't answer that, I know you haven't. The virginity and all."
Montague grinned at her, then tossed the knickers aside.
"You talk a big game, Bell," he said, grabbing her legs from where they dangled of the bed, kneeling in front of her, "but I think it's time I shut you up for once." He started kissing up her left leg.
"You can try," Katie said, "but we both know you'll fa-"
Montague reached the place where her knickers used to be and Katie inhaled, the words dying in her throat. It's not that she'd ever thought about fucking Montague before, but if she had, she would have never thought he was willing to pleasure a girl like this. He was far too arrogant and rude. And apparently, full of surprises.
Katie's hands clutched at the ludicrous green velvet comforter as her legs closed around Montague's head. Killing him by suffocation was definitely a way to get out of this mess with her reputation intact. Except that pesky murder charge…
Her legs were shaking. This was embarrassing, but she found herself less and less likely to care as Montague kept working his evil magic. Who had taught him how to do this? And why had a boy as ridiculously selfish as him been willing to learn?
There was a pause in the action and Katie heard herself making a disappointed noise.
"I think I shut you up, Bell," Montague said smugly, looking up at her.
Katie glanced up at his canopy, throwing an arm over her eyes so she didn't have to make awkward eye contact anymore. Couldn't Montague let her have an ounce of dignity and give her an orgasm in silence?
"Clearly my efforts to suffocate you are going badly," Katie said through her arms.
"Not true, I can barely breathe," Montague said, "but that's OK. A good sign of my skills, wouldn't you say, Bell?"
"No," Katie lied.
"Liar," Montague laughed, "I knew those Gryffindor boys-"
"Shut up," Katie said through her teeth, "or you won't be giving me anything, now will you?"
"Pull my hair when you've lost the ability to speak," Montague said smugly, and Katie made a gagging noise, but she didn't push him away like she should've.
Montague, blessedly, finally, shut his mouth, but that left Katie biting her tongue almost in half in an attempt to keep silent. She couldn't bear the thought of Montague hearing her. Of course the smart thing to do would be to leave entirely, perhaps casting an Obliviate on the way out, but Katie had never been accused of being a misplaced Ravenclaw. She squirmed in place, twisting the sheets in white knuckles.
"You're going to get blood in your mouth," Montague muttered into her left thigh, "stop holding back."
"Make me," Katie said, removing her teeth from her tongue.
That, of course, was her biggest mistake of the entire night. Not only did she end up pulling multiple strands of dark hair directly out of Montague's head at the moment of peak pleasure, but she hadn't been silent then, nor had she been silent when she'd been on top of him and he'd told her to ride him like she was his old Nimbus 2001. She hadn't covered herself in glory the next time either, when she'd let Montague get on top, or the time after that, when she could barely remember what happened due to her heightened state of arousal. All Katie knew when she'd snuck out, knicker-less, was that she'd have to move to New Zealand and join the Moutohora Macaws Quidditch team under heavy disguise. Perhaps she'd have to shave her head and dye the scalp blue. But even think, Montague might show up to a game with her knickers in his hand, smirking at her. In short, she was doomed.
"It's alright, Katie," Alicia said, drawing Katie out of her reverie, "we'll figure something out. We won't let Montague ruin your reputation."
"Yeah," Ange said, but at that very moment, multiple owls arrived, bearing hate mail for her. Rita's article had landed.
The rest of the day was spent, as it should be, comforting the distraught Ange until George arrived after finishing work. Apparently, he'd gotten a fair amount of well wishers along with the self- righteously angry.
"We'll get her," he said grimly, echoing what Katie and Alicia had been saying for hours. "I'm pretty sure Hermione's got some sort of blackmail over her. I don't know what, I never found out. But whatever it is, it got her to write an honest article and publish it for free in the Quibbler. So it's got to be bad."
Alicia sat up straight.
"But wait," she said, "if that's true, then why has she been writing horrible articles for years about all of us? Including Hermione?"
For Rita had published an article the week before about how Hermione was a hare brain dead dimwit and the only reason she'd started that house-elf legislation was because she had received a serious head injury in the Battle of Hogwarts years before.
"No idea," George said, "but I know Ron mentioned it once, when he was drunk. I'll get it out of him, whatever it is."
He looked as miserable as Ange.
"That's the spirit," Alicia said encouragingly, "we'll get that old bitch, yeah?"
George looked around their apartment blankly, and finally his eyes alighted on the rainbow explosion and the tower of gold and white boxes. There was another giant red box full of chocolates that had arrived an hour ago. They'd tested them for poison, then devoured half of them. They had been there the whole time, but it was the first time he'd really seen them.
"What happened here?" George said, raising a ginger brow. "Who's got an admirer?"
Alicia sat up with a grin, and a ghost of a smile even graced Ange's face.
"Oh, this'll cheer you up, George!" Alicia said happily.
"No," Katie said loudly.
She knew her mates were convinced that George would find this amusing. But she'd seen more of George during the battle then they had. And she wasn't so sure.
"So Katie, I take it," George said, looking between the three of them, "and someone awful at that. Who is it? Not Zacharias Smith?"
"No," Katie said loudly, God, no one gave her any credit. Smith wasn't even remotely good looking.
"McLaggen?" George said, the little smile expanding. "It's got to be someone really noxious to inspire this in you."
Ange held up the unicorn knicker set.
"And rich," she said, "look what I've got for later."
George smiled, the biggest smile Katie had seen from him in a month.
"Lucky me," he said, "so a rich bloke that's terrible. Katie Bell, are you sleeping with Draco Malfoy?"
"Oh not that bad, give her some credit," Alicia said, but she was grinning too. "Look at the ones I've got! They're made of candy."
"And you didn't claim that pair?" George said to Ange.
"What was I thinking?" Ange said, a small smile dawning on her face.
Well. Maybe the girls were right. George was taking this remarkably well. Maybe she could help cheer everyone up with her terrible mistakes.
He picked up a chocolate out of the box when Alicia passed them around once more.
"Funny story," Katie said, "it's your old friend. Graham Montague."
George choked, turning purple, then swallowed painfully, tears of pain in his eyes.
"WHAT?" he bellowed.
A/N: Sorry if I disappointed with the truncated sex scene...I find them so painfully awkward to write! Hope you're enjoying reading as much as I'm enjoying writing. :)
