An: so, its rough and has no song. I apologize, but I have been SWAMPED with school, work,etc. I promise once I have a better grasp of my new schedule, there will be more regular updates. Until then, hold tight!

Like I said, it is rather rough... but I know what I am doing...


.5.

The First Cut is the Deepest

Meredith watched Derek walk out of the hospital and across to Joes. She hated him. She was so upset with him for turning her into the dirty mistress. She tore her eyes away from his retreating figure and walked over the bridge. She needed to STOP all of it. Meredith slammed shut the chart in her hand. Izzie was about to be release. It was time she rearranged her priorities.

Meredith sighed and pushed her hair behind her ears. She could feel a pair of eyes on her.

Meredith looked up to see Addison Shepherd standing above her.

"I didn't lie," Meredith whispered to herself. Her pager vibrated. Izzie was ready.

Addison observed Meredith watching her husband. She was sick and tired of this twisted dance. Addison sighed and entered a vacant on call room. She kicked off her brand new Aldo pumps. She shrugged out of her lab coat and slumped on to the bed.

The attending on call room was much nicer than the normal on call rooms.

Addison threw her body back on the bed.

She laid there, staring up at the ceiling above her. She reached over to the chair she had left her coat in to grab her cell phone.

Addison tapped her nails against the keys.

On the screen was a draft of a text message. She wasn't sure if she should send it or not.

Addison exhaled a long held breath and sent it.

Izzie sat by the window, waiting patiently for Meredith. She was past denial and on to numbness. Izzie felt empty inside. She had finally found a man to spend her life with. A good man. Only for him to die. She wondered if she was being punished for something.

"Izzie?" she heard Meredith call from the doorway.

Meredith was taken aback by Izzie's mournful beauty. Her heart went out to her friend. It was then that she realize that Izzie's turmoil was far worse than her own. She had a man that had plans. Izzie had thrown all her plans away.

"Are you ready to go home?"

"I don't know."

Meredith stepped further into the room. She joined Izzie at the window seat and wrapped her arms around her. Izzie leaned back into the embrace and cried.

"Give me another one, Joe," Derek drunkenly demanded.

"You know, buddy, I believe you have had enough," Joe said, replacing Derek's bottle with a cup of coffee.

Derek narrowed his eyes at the man in front of him. "I saved your life, Joe!"

Around him, Derek could hear them all gossiping and staring at him.

"What are you looking at!" He snapped at a random nurse.

She tossed him a disgusted look.

Derek glared at everyone. "You know what, Joe, you can just go to hell. I am going to go to another bar."

"You aren't going anywhere," Joe said and yanked Derek back on to the stool.

"What now?" Addison growled intothe ringing phone. It was past midnight. She was exhausted and irritable.

"Montgomery- Shepherd."

"Hi, Dr. Shepherd. This is Joe from the bar. The other Dr. Shepherd is here and he is in bad shape. Can you--"

"Give me 10 minutes, Joe. I am still at the hospital."

"Thanks, Dr. S."

"Thank you, Joe. I am sure he is a mess."

Addison shoved her phone into her pocket. Adele had been right.

After much argument in the bar, the parking lot, and the car, the Drs. Shepherd had finally made it home. And Addison Shepherd was about to burst. Derek had rambled all the way home.

"This is all your fault," Derek spat at her. "If you had never screwed my best friend I would have never met Meredith. If you hadn't show up I'd be happy!"

"No, Derek. The only person at fault it you. Why don't you grow up and get a clue. You've always been a terrible drunk."

"Whatever," Derek mumbled. He tripped on the step of the trailer. Addison reached out to help him. He shoved her away.

"Don't touch me! I hate it when you touch me. Every time you touch me, I see him touching you."

Addison rolled her eyes. Her patience was wearing thin. There was only so much she could take.

"Damn it, Derek. I thought we were past this."

"We aren't past it! We will never be past it!"

"Fine! Then lets talk about it! Lets have it out, right here. Right now! Apparently the only way you'll talk about it is if you're drunk. So, come on. What do you want to know? What do you want to hear? Want to know about the sex? How it started? What!" Addison hissed. "Do you want me to tell you how Mark wasn't a fling? How he wasn't just an affair? Mark wasn't a fling. He wasn't an affair. We loved each other. He loves me. He is in love with me. He flew out here to tell me that. He offered me the whole world and I told him no! Mark was my Meredith Grey!"

Addison's hand flew to her cheek. Derek had slapped her at the words "Meredith Grey."

"Don't you ever compare Mark to Meredith."

Derek leaned over the edge of the trailer and threw up.

That night, Derek slept in a sleeping bag outside the trailer. Addison had locked him out.

Derek's downfall had officially begun.