Chapter Six: Beekeper Haute Couture
It hadn't taken long for Graham Montague to ruin Katie's life. Every day she expected to receive an owl from Flint telling her that she should've chosen him over Montague, that his broom was far bigger and more impressive to ride.
She read her press coverage with a knot in her stomach, waiting for the article about her new scandalous relationship. She cringed whenever an owl delivered mail, expecting a Howler from her friends disappointed in her for involving herself with a Slytherin, or a pure-blood who was angry at her for tainting one of their most eligible specimens. She expected Montague to finally tell her that the whole thing was a cruel joke.
And every day it didn't happen her fear grew greater, her certainty that her whole life would become such a shameful mess that she couldn't even fly at a game without someone waving a sign at her about her sexual performance. But it didn't happen. It seemed Jones's long standing forbiddance of her players gossiping about each other to anyone out of the Harpy family was holding up to the test. So she'd made it to Saturday, and Montague had gone with her to get pizza, Katie wearing a slightly more flesh revealing dress then the time before, the instructions from her friends on how to toy with Montague ringing in her ears.
"This is the food of the gods," Montague said, his eyes wide, after swallowing his first slice of pizza. "Tell me Bell, how is your arse not the size of the Forbidden Forest when you get to eat Muggle food all the time?"
"Some people would say it is," Katie said, playing with her straw wrapper. She wondered if Montague expected her to sleep with him again tonight. She wondered if she wanted to.
"As someone who's seen it quite well, it's a glorious arse," Montague said, "no matter the size."
"Sounds like you're calling it massive," Katie said, raising a brow, trying to shake off the sense of doom that had been hanging over her for days and attempting some feeble banter.
"Just take a compliment Bell," Montague said, then took another bite of pizza, closing his eyes in pleasure for a second while he chewed.
"How was your week?" Katie asked stiffly. This was one of the strangest things that had happened to her in ages. Sleeping with the enemy, who she knew had made a grotesque bet on her some years before, back when he'd been an open bully and bigot, trying to make small talk like she didn't want to stab him in the eye with a fork.
"Boring," Montague said, opening his eyes, "I've been counting the seconds to see you again all week."
Something squirmed in her stomach, and Katie felt angry with herself and with Montague. How dare he try to charm her like this when he was a liar? When he'd planned on humiliating her when he got what he wanted, ruining her life? And how dare her stomach flutter like she'd been flattered by this obvious attempt of Montague's to get her pliable and into his ridiculous mansion like flat again?
"Smooth," Katie said, "so enlighten me Montague, what does a rich unemployed pure-blood do with all of his free time?"
"Please make me sound like more of a loser, Bell," Montague snorted, pausing to take a sip of his soda with a cautious expression. "What is this?" he exclaimed, staring down at his coke in surprise.
"Liquid sugar," Katie said.
"Again, and your arse isn't the size of Goyle's neck, I'm impressed, Bell!"
"I work hard," Katie shrugged, "on the pitch. Burns a lot of calories."
"Cal-ore-ees?" Montague sounded out carefully.
Katie pinched the bridge of her nose. From experience, trying to explain calories to a witch or wizard who had grown up with no Muggle education or Muggle family members was an exercise in torture.
"You didn't answer what you do all day, Montague," she said instead, "I can bang my head against the wall explaining calories to you after."
Montague tried to do a bored shrug, like his answer meant nothing to him. But Katie had seen his eyes shift from left to right first.
"Whatever lie is about to come out of your mouth, stop it and replace it with the truth," Katie said sternly. She knew if her friends were around to overhear this they'd be disappointed in her for failing at being sweet enough to make Montague fall in love with her. But she knew Montague better than her friends. Montague didn't want a sweet girl. It would be kind of liberating to know that someone was attracted to Katie's abrasive honesty, if that person wasn't a lying sack of shit.
"Fine," Montague said, and then he grinned, "Perceptive as always, Bell. Sometimes I wonder if you're really a Gryffindor."
"My war record says so," Katie said shortly.
"It wasn't only Gryffindors who fought," Montague pointed out.
"You're right," Katie said sweetly, "I forgot about all the noble Slytherins who fought for Voldemort."
"You know Bell, we were getting along really well I thought," Montague snapped, "and now you're picking a fight for no reason. May I ask why?"
"You just said it was for no reason," Katie said, still with that sickly sweet voice her mates had forced her to practice. She batted her eyes for good measure, "who am I to argue with your wisdom?"
"You're impossible Bell," Montague snorted, picking up his pizza slice again, "why do I even bother with you?"
"I don't know; why do you?" Katie asked, stopping her eye fluttering. She was getting dizzy.
"Everyone else is boring," Montague said, "also, you're great in bed."
Katie gagged. "Such gentlemen, you pure-bloods."
"Sorry," Montague said, sounding contrite. He put down the pizza again, and took her hand with his other, non-pizza greased hand. The giant Montague crest ring dug into her. Montague's eyes were soft. "You wanted the truth. Well, the truth, Katie, is that I've had a thing for you for ages. Since third year and I saw you across the pitch, a little stick on a broom dodging bludgers and scoring goals. So I've been wanting this a long time."
Katie felt sick. She knew what she would've done if she was acting like herself. Laughed, for one, made a crack about what a liar Montague was. But her mates would tell her to blush. Drop her eyes from Montague's gaze, look flattered. Her lips parted.
Montague burst out laughing, dropping her hand. It felt like a bludger to the gut.
"You almost looked like you bought that!" he said to her between chortles. "Did you get hit in the head in practice today, Bell?"
"I'm just admiring the lengths you're going to to avoid answering that you spend your days wanking alone and rolling around in piles of your daddy's money," Katie said evenly, forcing herself to take a bite of pizza even though she wasn't sure her stomach would let it stay down. She hated Montague. She hated him. Maybe she could Obliviate him and have done with it. It was against the law to Obliviate another witch or wizard but surely Kingsley Shacklebolt would understand, once he interacted with Montague for three minutes?
Montague sighed with exaggerated effect. "I spent Monday before dinner with you playing Gobstones with Adrian Pucey, while his mother paraded Adrian's sister around me in a series of increasingly revealing robes to get my attention. She's getting to spinster age, you know."
"What, nineteen?" Katie sneered.
Montague's mouth twitched like he was holding back a smile. "Even worse, Bell, twenty-one. She's almost a dried up old maid, poor girl. Horrors."
"I must be past saving to Mrs. Pucey," Katie said dryly.
"But of course," Montague said, "Gryffindor, Muggle-born, and...what? Twenty-two with no husband? You're practically dead, Bell. Buy your casket now."
"Already picked out," Katie said, "I turned nineteen and thought oh no, it's over, no man will want me now, might as well do something unfeminine and common like play Quidditch so I can afford my spinster life."
"Wise girl," Montague said, "like I said, not quite a Gryffindor. On Tuesday, I did wank I'll give you that. You showed up to dinner looking delicious and I couldn't stop thinking about what another taste would be like."
Try as she might, Katie couldn't stop her blush. Montague had changed the rules out of nowhere!
"After that sad display on my part I joined Terence Higgs, your main sexual fantasy, for lunch served by house elves on silver plates. Terribly ostentatious to you I'm sure, quite pedestrian for the Higgs family. I'm afraid you wouldn't fit in there Bell, so better let go of that dream."
"Noted," Katie said sarcastically, "but my fantasies about Higgs usually involved more nudity and less eating off silver plates while some house elf beats its head against the floor for burning a single potato."
It was Montague's turn to get red in his cheeks, though Katie knew the redness spreading on his cheekbones was more from irritation that she'd made a sexual comment about another man.
"Afterwards," Montague said, voice clipped, "Mrs. Higgs had her three female nieces prance around me and giggle. They are all apparently in desperate need of marrying, even though they haven't even graduated Hogwarts yet."
Katie grimaced.
"My reaction exactly, "Montague said, "one didn't even have any hips. Because she was still a child.
I was then dragged to a dinner party at the Malfoy family mansion where stuffy pure-bloods congratulated each other on being superior while barely keeping themselves from saying how much they missed the old days in front of the three token Muggle-borns they'd invited for posterity. At some point, five different matriarchs tried to convince me to marry some single relative of theirs."
"Must be difficult being you," Katie said, taking another bite of pizza.
"On Wednesday, I was dragged to a tea party for old biddies run by my Aunt Viola where mysteriously everyone wanted to speak about the single girls in their lives some more while attempting to pinch my bum. I escaped out the window of the bathroom on the first floor and made my way to The Shivering Grindlylow, which is-"
"A rich boy's club," Katie said, irritated that Montague thought her so uncouth that she'd never heard of the fancy hellhole in which spoiled rich boys did god knows what. It wasn't like any of her friends could afford to join aside from maybe Harry.
"I drank away my sorrows with some mates, and then-"
"What sorrows?" Katie laughed. "All those women being flung at you?"
"Well recently, there's a bird that's playing hard to get when I've already got her, for one," Montague said.
Katie felt her face heat up again.
"I'm not playing hard to get," she said through her teeth, "and you don't have me, for the record."
"You realize that sentence just proved my point Bell, yes?" Montague said irritatingly.
"So you talked about me?" Katie demanded, leaning forward, somehow her fork was in her hand. "To your little mates?"
"Oh here we go again," Montague said with another eye roll, "I was wondering when you were going to beat that dead unicorn some more. Haven't we already agreed I have no plans to draw a diagram of your naked body and wave it about, Bell?"
"I said nothing about drawing diagrams," Katie retorted, her hand holding the fork so tightly her palm started sweating, "I said talked to them about-"
"Again, my little hypocrite, haven't you discussed me with roughly half of Gryffindor by now?" Montague asked.
"Ange and Alicia begged for details of what you're like in bed if you really want to know, and I didn't tell them a thing," Katie said.
"Well, neither did I," Montague said, "in fact, I, unlike you, didn't speak of you at all. They tried to find out where I went on Saturday and Monday night. And where I was going tonight. I lied."
"Thanks," Katie said, "I do love being your dirty secret."
"Oh, so now you're mad I'm not talking about you?" Montague said, "Merlin, Bell, pick one thing to be mad at me about and stick with it, would you? I can send an owl to Cassius Warrington right now if you want... 'Dear beloved fellow arsehole, I'm currently staring at Katie Bell's magnificent legs, you remember them, and pretending they're wrapped around me like they were last Saturday. I'll give you more details when we meet to get our nails done next week. Kisses, your hunky best friend, Graham.'"
"I'm just saying," Katie said, because she both wanted to laugh and kick Montague and couldn't pick which one, "if we were dating, I bet you would hide it from shame."
"Bell, we are on a date right now," Montague said, "the cheapest one I've ever been on, yes, but the food's the best. Also, the view." He deliberately gave her a provocative once over. "Ergo, we are dating, yes?"
"I suppose," Katie said grudgingly.
"And," Montague continued with a sort of relentless doggedness, "I was strongly under the impression you wanted to hide me from everyone. That you wanted my friends to never know about us. That you're ashamed of me. Or have you changed your mind?"
"I'm not ashamed," Katie lied, and Montague raised his left eyebrow, "I just don't want to deal with the mess at games. You don't understand. People already don't take us seriously, being an all-woman team. And they already take every opportunity to mess with us on the field, in the stands, in the press..."
"Bell, like you'd get tormented for snagging one of the wizard world's most eligible bachelors," Montague scoffed, "you might jealous hate mail, but-"
"So how was the rest of your week?" Katie asked loudly, but she knew by the look Montague leveled on her that he knew what she was doing, that she'd changed the subject because she knew she didn't make sense.
"On Thursday," Montague said, "I attended an opening of the new wing at St Mungo's named after Slytherin's greatest hero, Severus Snape."
Katie ignored the sarcasm in his voice.
"During said opening, I shook hands with a bunch of influential people while my father paraded me around, pretending he was proud of his heir. Cornelius Fudge cornered me and tried to make me marry his granddaughter."
"Isn't she twelve?" Katie said, disgusted.
"Thirteen, but gross enough," Montague said. "On Friday, I was particularly tortured with an engagement party held for Daphne Greengrass and Gerald Urquhart. Mainly I spent my time helping comfort Urquhart with the rest of my mates as he tried to drink himself to death. Today I was dragged to my cousin Isobel's daughter's first birthday, wherein the women kept commenting on her post birth figure in rude terms and bragging about their own boring babies. I was continually asked about the status of my own future marriage, to my mother's deepest shame. Tonight, I was supposed to attend yet another debutante ball as a dutiful and well-mannered chaperone while mothers throw their teenage daughters in white frilly robes at me, an adult man. Imagine my dismay that I already had an engagement to attend tonight with a very influential magical person of mysterious unknown origins."
"How mad was your mum?" Katie snorted, taking a sip of her cola.
"About as mad as Flint was that time Malfoy had the snitch on top of him and Potter caught it anyway."
"So you almost got murdered in order to have pizza with me," Katie said, "I'm flattered."
"You should be," Montague said, "It wasn't just my mother. I got a handful of howlers. Apparently quite a few people were expecting me to escort them."
"Since when did you become such a hot commodity to witches?" Katie asked.
"You tell me, Bell," Montague grinned, "you enjoyed me quite a bite last weekend, didn't you?"
"I have no plans to marry you, Montague, so stop practicing your kneeling," Katie said.
"What a shame, I had the family ring all picked out," Montague said, "but you can see why I looked forward to this all week, I'm sure."
"I can think of a few hundred reasons," Katie said honestly.
"As can I," Montague surprised her by saying, "for one, a witch who actually acts like herself around me and not some simpering half-wit who is following her mother's instructions to giggle and appear agreeable and empty headed is reason enough. Someone who isn't kissing my arse because of who my father is is a bonus."
"I assure you I won't ever do that," Katie said, finishing off her slice.
"I know," Montague said, "If you did, I would assume Polyjuice. Perhaps Pansy Parkinson. She's gotten to certifiable old maid status."
"I feel terrible for her," Katie said, her voice cold. Harry might be willing to forgive Pansy for trying to hand him over to Voldemort, but she wasn't going to. And neither was Ginny, or almost anyone else.
"Then add in the fact that we can have an interesting conversation, you make me laugh, and you're beautiful...well...I'm not sure how I could've stayed away," Montague took another slice of their pizza like he hadn't just given her a series of genuine compliments.
"Are you being nice to me?" Katie asked, stirring her soda with her straw. "Have you hit your head? A stray teacup during the baby's party, perhaps?"
"I'm a nice guy," Montague told her.
Katie saw as clear as day George Weasley's face as he told her about Montague asking him and Fred about the taste of Mudblood pussy and felt the crazy urge to throw her soda in Montague's smiling face.
"What's that face?" Montague demanded, his smile dropping, "Why are you making that face at me, Bell? Haven't I been nice to you?"
"For the last four minutes, sure," Katie agreed, "a new record."
"You're not counting the hours I spent pleasuring you in-"
"And…. niceness over," Katie said, looking at her watch, "let the record state that it lasted four minutes and ten seconds. Try to better it next time, Montague."
"I can spend at least half an hour not talking and bettering it," Montague said, his eyes dropping down again.
"You'll have to trick me back to your apartment again for that to happen," Katie said, "I've learned my lesson."
Montague laughed. "Yeah, cause pulling my hair out of my scalp with pleasure was such a hard lesson to learn, eh Bell? So hard you don't want to repeat it for some reason. Tell me, do you Gryffindors get off on denying yourself pleasure?"
"On denying Slytherins pleasure, yes," Katie retorted.
"You're denying yourself just like you're denying me," Montague pointed out, "rather silly, wouldn't you say? But I understand. I shook your Gryffindor faux modesty. I'll walk you home like a good Muggle boyfriend and kiss you at your door like a nice boy and we can go out again tomorrow."
"I've got plans," Katie lied.
"Do you?" Montague said, "What? You're a terrible liar by the way. You should stop trying around me. Slytherins are trained to lie even in the womb."
"Well if you want to come bikini shopping with me and Ange and Alicia, have at it," Katie snapped. She could probably talk them into it. Summer was coming up. In three months.
"Sounds great," Montague grinned, "I don't know what a bee-keen-ee is but count me in."
Katie opened her mouth foolishly. The smug look on Montague's face told her that he knew she'd been lying and he was calling her bluff. Alicia and Angelina were going to kill her.
Montague opened the door for her as they left the pizza parlor, and Katie walked into the streets of London. She saw Montague reach toward her to hold her hand and then stop, his eyes widening a fraction at something near them. Katie turned to see what he was staring at.
"Graham, what are you doing here?"
"So let me get this straight, Katie Bell," Alicia demanded, "you were dumb enough to get caught with Montague by Adrian Pucey, and somehow that means we've got to go bikini shopping with them later?"
"It wasn't my fault," Katie protested, "how was I to know the idiot would be in Muggle London? And how was I supposed to know that Montague would be dumb enough to refuse to memory charm him for me?"
"You could've done it yourself," Alicia snapped, "you're better at charms then he is, anyway."
"Am I?" Katie wondered. She wasn't exactly well acquainted with Montague's scholarly performance.
"He didn't even take a NEWT level Charms class," Alicia said, "is that a man you want to be dating, Queen of Charms?"
"We're not dating," Katie protested, pacing back and forth the kitchen in their flat, "it's fake, remember? To stop him from-"
"Telling all of his friends about you making the naked horizontal broom ride with him, yes," Alicia said, "which...now Pucey knows, so it's all over."
"It's not," Katie insisted, "it's not!" It had to be true. She had to have her hooks in Montague well enough that he wouldn't rat her out quite yet, right?
"How can it not be?" Alicia asked, also pacing.
They almost ran into each other. It was a good thing Ange was over at George's, or they might've had to sedate her. "How else did he explain it away to Pucey?"
Katie cringed. It had been awful. Montague had looked like a deer in the headlights. She'd been unable to speak. Pucey had slowly done a once over of her body, then smiled like Lucius Malfoy getting a hot oil treatment.
"So this is where you've been, Graham?" Pucey said, smirking, "your mother was telling everyone at the cotillion that you were meeting with a very well connected magical person tonight."
"I am," Montague rallied, "I guess you don't recognize her, but this is Katie Be-"
"Of course I recognize her," Pucey said, "you think I don't know the girl you have been-"
Katie turned to look at Montague as Pucey trailed off, and just caught the look of panicked anger on Montague's face.
"The girl he's been what?" Katie questioned, her voice returning, still staring at Montague.
She knew he'd told everyone about her! She knew it!
"The girl he's been tormenting for years like an absolute boor," Pucey said smoothly as Montague tried to smile at Katie.
"Takes one to know," Katie said brutally, "or are you going to pretend you weren't a complete ass-"
"I'm meeting with Miss Bell to discuss mother's plan to memorialize the war heroes," Montague said, "you know, how she wanted to create statues at Hogwarts?"
Pucey, who apparently was not as stupid as Katie thought, laughed.
"Yeah, sure," he said, "calm down. I won't tell your mother."
"Tell her what?" Montague asked, "She'll be pleased to hear that-"
"Stop bullshitting me," Pucey said, "you wanker. You've been trying to get Bell to date you for years. Congratulations on your success, I suppose."
Katie burned red, but not as red as Montague was.
"He's hardly been trying," Katie said finally. She hadn't even seen Montague since her sixth year, for heaven's sake!
"Adrian's joking,' Montague said evenly, "but I will accept your congratulations. And I will also accept your agreement to keep your mouth shut about this for now."
"Oh, will you?" Pucey asked sarcastically, "one, why would I care? Two, now that I know that you want me to care, why wouldn't I tell everyone?"
"Because," Montague said, his jaw tight, "you're my friend, you pillock."
"All the more reason to brag that you've scored Gryffindor's golden girl as your bedmate," Pucey said, putting his hands in his pockets as Katie calculated if he was going for his wand or not.
Perhaps he knew how close she was to pulling her own wand and Obliviating him in front of a hundred meandering Muggles.
Montague stepped forward, close to Pucey, who he still towered over, even if he wasn't as bulky as he used to be. "You will keep a civil tongue in your head when you speak of my girlfriend," he said threateningly.
Alicia cackled.
"You've already got him whipped," she said triumphantly, turning her pacing into a little victory dance, "tell me your secrets, Katie!"
Katie sighed. She'd been tricked for a moment as well. Montague had just looked so...delicious threatening his former chaser over her honor. A surge of triumph had soared through her when he'd gotten so riled up, called her his girlfriend. Maybe Percy's ridiculous plan was actually working. But she pictured George's face when he told her the truth, had thought about what Pucey had almost revealed then backpedaled over. What was he going to say? That Katie was the girl he'd been trying to win a bet over for years?
"Girlfriend? Pucey said, raising his eyebrows, "really?"
"You heard me," Montague said, "and if you say one more rude thing about her I'm going to forget we were ever friends."
"You might make me forget that," Pucey smiled, "but will you make me forget that I saw you two together, dressed like Muggles, in Muggle London?"
"You're in Muggle London too, brain trust," Katie said, rolling her eyes.
"That I am," Pucey said, smiling at Katie in a way she didn't like.
"What will it take?" Montague asked wearily, while Katie contemplated how messed up it was that Montague's alleged good friend required bribery to keep his mouth shut. If Montague had normal friendships, a polite request was all it would take.
"Take a guess," Pucey said, glancing at Katie again. His nasty little smile raised Katie's guard even further.
"We're going bee-keen-ee shopping tomorrow with Johnson and Spinnet," Montague said with a sigh, "want to come?"
"No," Katie blurted loudly.
"What's a bee-kinn-i?" Pucey asked.
"Hopeless," Katie said, "you're all hopeless. And he's not invited."
"Oh I think I am," Pucey said, his smile spreading, "or else I think I might mention to a few people how surprised I was to see Graham Montague, highly eligible bachelor, missing a young witch cotillion to...do what with Katie Bell, notorious-"
He trailed off, and Katie glanced at Montague again, who looked like he was seconds away from chocking out Pucey like he was Darth Vadar. Not like either of these two idiots would get that reference, were she to make it.
"Notorious what?" Katie asked sweetly, "Was the "m" word about to come out of your mouth, Pucey?"
"Notorious friend of Harry Potter," Pucey finished while he continued to communicate with Montague silently.
"Wow, what an insult," Katie said, "really, that wounded me. Yes, notorious friend of Harry Potter, the wizarding world's hero. Unless you're saying that's a bad thing, Pucey?"
They all knew full well that "friend of Harry Potter" was certainly not how Pucey was going to end that sentence to begin with.
"It was a compliment, Bell," Pucey said, "and I accept, Graham. We can go shopping for bees with Johnson and Spinnet tomorrow. My treat."
"One, no," Katie said, "two, no. Three, did I mention no?"
"Deal," Montague said like Katie hadn't spoken, "what time are we going, Bell?"
"We are doing nothing," Katie said, "as Pucey isn't invited."
"I'll buy you lunch too," Pucey shrugged.
Katie's rage boiled. Typical pure-blood Slytherin nonsense, thinking all they had to do was throw their daddy's money at a problem and women would fall over themselves to allow anything.
"I don't need your money," Katie said loudly. A few Muggles turned to look at them then continued walking, "I'm a professional Quid—sports player."
"Calm yourself, Bell," Pucey said obnoxiously, "don't want to break the International Statue, do we?"
"You're the one shouting about it," Montague said, "both of you calm down."
"I'm calm," Katie said angrily.
"I can tell," Montague said, lips twitching.
"I didn't mean it as an insult, Bell," Pucey said, his tone making her skin crawl, "or should I call you Katie now that you're my best mate's ah...girlfriend?"
"No," Katie and Montague said together.
"I just figured now that you're accustomed to Graham paying for everything for you-"
"Excuse me?" Katie said, her voice rising so high she sounded like her parent's electric teakettle.
"-you're naturally going to develop a taste for the finer things in life. And I can afford to buy the three of you the finest bee er… whatever bee things you're buying. Aren't the three of you living together to save funds?"
"Yes not all of us have a wad of galleons shoved up our arses since birth," Katie said brutally, "and I don't think either of you understand what a bikini is."
"No!" Alicia shouted, "Katie, for the love of Dumbledore, tell me that you didn't tell them the truth? Tell me you didn't explain what a bikini is!"
"Of course not," Katie said.
After all, she hadn't been friends with the twins for years without developing a strong mischievous streak that she occasionally bent to evil.
"I have every intention of us trying on bee keeping uniforms tomorrow while we make Pucey buy them."
"I don't know what those are," Alicia admitted, but when Katie described them she rubbed her hands together and cackled with glee.
"Don't worry," Katie said grimly, "I have zero intention of putting you in a bikini in front of Adrian Pucey. Have you forgotten which one of the Slytherin guys was prone to make sexual taunts to you mid game?"
Alicia rolled her eyes.
"Considering I was the one who informed you about it, no, Katie," She said, "just keep Warrington away from this excursion. I suspect he might try to kidnap Ange away from George."
"Do you remember at the charity event when he tried to push George into the punch bowl?" Katie said wistfully. George of course had sidestepped the hex and Pansy Parkinson had ended up getting hit and falling down on the floor in front of Malfoy, who'd she been trying to convince to marry her for years. It had been the highlight of many a Gryffindor and DA gatherings for months.
"It all makes sense now," Alicia said thoughtfully, "but now that I'm thinking about it, how come Montague wasn't at that event?"
"No clue," Katie said, not really thinking about it. She genuinely hadn't thought about Graham Montague in years, Out of sight, out of mind. She wished her life would go back that way.
"Better question," Alicia said, "why did Pucey agree that going bikini shopping with us was sufficient to shut his big trap about you and Montague when he doesn't even know what bikinis are? I mean, if he knew he was guaranteed a look at our-"
"Alicia," Katie said in disbelief, "you're this dense and you were making fun of me and Ange? He obviously agreed because you're going to be there." Alicia's mouth popped open. She looked like the time Sloper had hit a bludger into her face during practice. Then her smile turned evil.
"No," Katie said, panicked, "Alicia, whatever you're thinking, stop!"
Ange chose that moment to walk in, sweating, her robes half ripped off.
"What happened to you?" Katie asked.
George followed Ange in, his Weasley's Wizard Wheezes robes singed and bloody.
"What happened to both of you?" Alicia asked, "Were you dueling as foreplay?"
Neither Ange nor George cracked a smile. Angelina drew out a newspaper from her robe and flung it at her roommates.
On the front page of Witch Weekly was a picture of Angelina and Fred at the Yule Ball next to a picture of Angelina and George kissing that had clearly been taken from very far away when they hadn't known they were being watched.
Shameless Behavior from Kestrals Star Chaser screamed the headline, the byline being, of course, by one Ms. Rita Skeeter.
"That's it," Alicia said decisively, "we've got to kill her."
"We were attacked in Diagon Alley," George said shortly, "from behind. Didn't see who. Woke up and Harry and his new Auror partner, whatsherface, were hanging over us."
"Did they catch who did it?" Katie asked urgently. This was serious. This was far more serious than her silly problems involving an arrogant jerk from Slytherin and his equally arrogant and jerkish best friend.
"No," Angelina said, "Harry was furious. I haven't seen him that angry in years."
"You haven't seen him run into McLaggen then," George muttered.
"Well I suppose now's a bad time to mention that the three of us have got a date trying on bikinis with Montague and Pucey later, eh?" Alicia said.
Montague and Pucey had thankfully, not brought Warrington with them to the girl's flat. But both of their smug little smiles had dropped when George Weasley had stepped out from behind Angelina with a grin on his face.
"Ready to go?" Alicia said, smiling with all her teeth while Katie felt her stomach drop to the floor. This was a very, very bad idea.
"What's he doing here?" Montague snapped, "You didn't say anything about Weasley, Bell."
Pucey's hand twitched toward his pocket and then relaxed.
"You didn't say anything about being a lying sack of shite to Katie the other night either, Montague, so I suppose you're even," George said, still grinning. Both of the Slytherin boys stood up straighter, squaring their shoulders, while George looked supremely unconcerned.
"We had plans," Angelina said irritably, "the four of us. You two were the ones who invited yourselves along. Shut up and deal with it or go home."
"Yes," Alicia said, still smiling evilly, "let's go buy some bikinis. I'm told you offered to pay, Pucey?"
Katie was clutching the piece of paper where she'd written down the address of the one store she'd dug up that sold bee keeping costumes, her heart pounding. Her life was such a mess, and it was all of her fault for being reckless. Hadn't she learned in the battle of Hogwarts not to be reckless? Hadn't she learned the consequences of impulsivity? Hadn't she carefully adhered to that lesson, and been rewarded with a nice flat with her best friends and first string chaser on her favorite team, her childhood dream? Sure she'd been a little lonely in her romantic life, but otherwise, hadn't she been happy being safe and staid? And now she'd gone and messed it all up by hopping into bed like some idiot with Montague, and dragged her friends into it. She was sure to get in all the papers for the scandal when this broke, and then no matter how much Gwenog Jones hated Hellman she would replace Katie and her life would be over, tossed aside as Graham Montague's leftovers after he had one last fling before marrying some pure-blood virgin and continuing on the Montague line while Katie fought to get on a third string on a team, any team. Maybe once she'd sunk that low, even Flint would start to look appealing. Surely no Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, or Hufflepuff boy would ever touch her after this taint. And then-
"That I did," Pucey said, overly loudly, and Katie saw his eyes dart to Montague and then to George then back.
"Follow me," Katie rallied, pushing all of those thoughts to the back of her mind where she kept the visuals of watching her friends and classmates and professors die, where she thought about the Death Eater she'd helped kill and his widow and kids. This was supposed to be fun. She and Alicia had planned it to be fun. And lord knew Ange and George deserved a laugh.
Katie forced herself to take Montague's hand right there in front of everyone, her other hand clutching the address, and Montague looked away from George with a pleased smile at Katie.
There was a sound like a cat coughing up a hairball and Montague glared at George, who smiled innocently.
"Something in my throat," he said.
"Right," Montague said flatly, "like your brother's girlfriend's tongue," he muttered so quietly only Katie and Pucey heard.
"Don't ruin it," Katie said under her breath.
"Wouldn't dream of it," Montague smiled.
Katie pictured Pucey shelling out thousands of pounds on three bee keeping uniforms and conjured a genuine smile in return.
"This is what you were going shopping for?" Pucey said, rank disbelief in his voice.
Alicia gave a little twirl in her white jumpsuit, cocking her head for affect. Considering on her head was a round hat with a mesh layer around her face falling to her shoulders, she looked more than a bit mad.
"Yes, thanks for paying," George said, "I'm so poor and all. The girls really need them."
Montague and Pucey both scowled.
Katie joined Alicia in twirling a bit, almost tripped due to impaired vision, and then turned away in the pretext of fixing Ange's hat so the Slytherin boys wouldn't see her laughing.
"Muggles are mad," Pucey said, "mad! Why do you need these?"
"It's the latest fashion," George said smoothly, "in formal wear. Crack a magazine sometimes, boys."
Katie bit her lips. If should could immortalize this moment forever, of Montague and Pucey watching her, Ange, and Alicia trying on beekeeping uniforms she would.
"I find this hard to believe," Montague drawled, "Bell, why are you facing that way? Are you hiding something from me?"
Katie was now almost biting her tongue in half. She couldn't laugh and ruin it. She needed to make George and Ange's day by watching Adrian Pucey spend an absurd amount on three of the highest end beekeeper suits that money could buy.
Ange violently pinched Katie and that wiped the smile off of her face.
"Nothing," Katie said, "just making sure mine fits. It looks great, don't you think?" the white jumper laid on her like a sack of potatoes. If a sack of potatoes zipped up the front, of course. And came with a matching mesh covered hat.
Montague looked at her with narrowed eyes. They both knew she was lying. But how, or about what, he couldn't quite figure out. And Montague was still trying to pretend to be a sweet boyfriend,
"You look great, Alicia," Pucey said, smiling winningly. Or he tried to. As with most Slytherins, an attempt at a flattering smile looked like gastrointestinal distress.
"Don't I?" Alicia said, twirling some more. The shop keeper had been watching them with his mouth slightly ajar, shook his head and muttered something like "kids" under his breath, and presumably went to he back to count the stack of pounds Katie had slipped to him to go along with the charade of them trying on the suits like they were for a runway.
It had all almost gone to plan. George and the girls were smiling so much that Montague had begun to scowl, further convinced that he was being taken advtange of in some way. Pucey was obliviously complimenting Alicia some more as they made their way on the pavement outside, laden down with all three of their beekeeper suits. Katie had solemnly informed him that Muggle tradition dictated the person paying carried all purchases so Pucey was sweating slightly as he stagged under the weight of the finest bee keeping suits money could buy. Montague's expression had darkened further at this. If he owned copious amounts of Muggle clothing (a mystery Katie had still not solved) he was surely aware that Katie was lying through her teeth and yet was keeping his mouth shut for once, another mystery. Perhaps her plan to win over Montague wasn't going well at the moment, but her plan to cheer up her best friends was going swimmingly. Now if she could only combine the two...and while she was at it, keep Adrian Pucey's mouth sealed shut forever. Her brain ticked rapidly.
But not, as it turned out, rapidly enough.
"Oh yes, I love my new bikini," Alicia beamed at Pucey, who beamed back, a trickle of sweat dripping down his right cheek. He almost dropped the bags.
Montague and George looked equally perturbed but, Katie was sure, for very different reasons. Katie had a feeling George was recalling why, exactly, the twins and Oliver had never told Alicia about the bet, and Montague was watching Alicia like she was a cat playing with her food.
"Me too," Angelina said, trying for sweet but landing on obviously smug, "how generous of you, Pucey. I'm so glad we can all be friends now."
"Yeah so am I," Pucey gasped as he heaved the bags higher again, "say do you think anyone would notice if I cast a lightening char-"
"Yes," Katie, George, and Montague said in equally severe tones.
"No problem," Pucey said gamely, as his arms hook, "I'll handle it. Say, since we're all getting along so well, how about next time we invite Cassius-"
"NO," George, Montague, and Katie said, even louder.
George's smile dropped and he looked like he was seconds away from pummeling Pucey.
"I thought we were keeping this all a secret, for now," Katie said, trying to smile, "because um...people wouldn't understand."
"Yes, of course," Montague said, eying Pucey, "remember?"
"Oh yes," Pucey said, eyes still on Alicia, who smiled at him, batting her eyelashes, "where are you going to wear these bee-keen-ees again?"
"A Muggle dance," Angelina said at the same time Alicia said "a beach party."
Montague's eyes were narrowed so far Katie was surprised he could see. It was time for drastic measures.
"Did you like mine, Graham?" Katie said, grabbing his hand and smiling. She tried to ignore the fact that George looked faintly ill in the corner of her eye.
"No," Montague said flatly," you looked like Minerva McGonagall trying to be frisky."
Katie tried for an airy laugh and failed. Montague could handle being kind for multiple hours around her Muggle friends but around her magical friends, he could tolerate about half an hour before reverting. Her friends had started to scowl, and even Pucey stopped looking at Alicia like a puppy.
"You looked much better the other night," Montague said, and Katie felt her face go aflame, "in that skirt number at your Muggle club," Montague added after a deliberately long time in which George Weasley had time to crack his knuckles and Pucey started to smirk at Katie. Damn him! Montague knew what he'd implied to everyone by saying "the other night."
Katie tried for a delightful laugh again.
"Have you been hit with a cheering charm, Bell?" Montague asked, "A badly done one? I didn't know Weasley the younger was around."
George shook off Angelina's arm, standing up straighter.
"Too bad I missed you wearing it," Pucey said, "I would've liked to see you in whatever made Graham lose his mind over you."
It was a mark of how awful Sltyherins were that Katie wasn't sure if Pucey had just stopped entirely trying to win over Alicia or if he was just so arrogant that he thought she wouldn't care that he was making sexual comments to one of her best mates right in front of her.
"You would understand," Montague smirked, looking at Katie's chest deliberately, "if you'd seen it, Adrian."
"Ahh, but would your mother?" Pucey laughed.
"Alright," George said, "fun's over. See you both never." Ange nodded.
"Now wait just a minute," Pucey said, "I was promised a day with the Gryffindor chasers, and it's not even been an hour. I can't guarantee I won't have to talk about my epic disappointment with someone. I'm in pain here, you know."
"Not enough," George said ominously.
"Your mother has been trying to get it out of me what you've been up to," Pucey needled to Montague, "she's just so concerned, poor dear, how distracted you've been."
"Yes the thrill of having everyone throw their unwed daughters at me is endlessly enthralling," Montague said sarcastically, "I see why she'd be concerned about my lack of interest."
"I can soothe the poor woman by letting her know you're merely wooing such a notable war heroine," Pucey said, eyes running over Katie again, "I'm sure she'll be just ecstatic."
"Why wouldn't she be?" Montague said loudly.
George Weasley had the most peculiar expression on his face, if Katie had noticed, but instead she was paralyzed with fear, watching the wheels turn in Pucey's brain. As dumb as some of the Slytherins were, just as many were full of cunning and Pucey, alas, was one of the latter.
"Oh, no reason," Pucey said, "beautiful and famous for do gooding? What's not to like for a woman of notorious good breeding and wealth?"
"Absolutely nothing," Montague said, taking his hand away from Katie, breathing hard. George's eyes darted between the two Slytherin boys.
"I agree," Pucey said unconvincingly, "your mother will be beyond happy. So why are you hiding your little night time dalliances?"
"It's mid-day, fool," Alicia said loudly. For a second, Pucey tried to be charming toward Alicia again, but then his baser instincts won out.
"No reason to hide either," Pucey said, "I'll send her an owl, shall I? Put her mind at ease?"
"You said you'd keep your mouth shut if we took you bikini shopping," Angelina said, "or are you breaking your word? Why don't you ask Marietta Edgecomb what happens when you break your word to a Gryffindor?"
"Well I had no idea a bee-" at this precisely awful moment, Pucey's eyes alighted on a store nearby. It was hard not to notice it. It was turquoise and covered in tropical painted flowers. The name was Purple Waves Surf Shop. In the window, was an enormous sign advertising a half off bikini sale, right below a selection of the finest tiny two piece bathing suits.
"You'll keep your trap shut," Montague said, "or else I'll-" his eyes too wandered onto the display, and the four Gryffindor's watched as their lips sounded out the word bikini, then as their eyes drank in the tiny purple striped number on display. It wouldn't even cover half of one of Ange's boobs.
In unison, the Slytherins turned to the Gryffindors. Pucey dropped the bee keeper uniforms with a thunk.
"Oops," George shrugged.
Author's Note: This story has minimal plot at best...borderline no plot if we're being honest, and I make no apologies for it! ;) Thanks to all my reviewers including the guest/anonymous accounts! I like to reply to all reviews but since I can't if you're a guest I'll just say thanks here. :)
