The film didn't distract me well. If anything it only increased my anxiety. My OCD guiding me towards the middle of the row of seats, centering the screen. The group didn't protest as they followed, sitting in front of me. The theater was barren except for us. No worries of any one getting upset as it became apparent that the Richie was going to talk through out the film. Normally something like that would even upset me, but after what had just happened out front, I let it go.

When I found I couldn't focus on the film I would stare at the group in front of me. Observe how they were enjoying themselves. I even caught Bill giving me a look, as if asking if I was alright. I simply smiled with a slight nod and he would nod in return before turning back around to the film or throw food at Richie when he shouted at the screen.

By the end of the film I had not had another influence from IT, but I was a clammy ball of shaking frazzled human being. My eyes were closed tight as I tried to breath deep and slow, evening out my breathes as best I could. All sound was foreign noise and meant nothing as I held myself in a ball in my seat. My head leant on the back of the chair for support as the only thing keeping me up from falling, or sliding free from where I sat.

It wasn't until I felt a hand shake me lightly that I then noticed that someone was saying my name. I focused on the voice trying to pick out who it was. Bill, ever caring, was trying to ask if I needed help. I shook my head side to side ever so slightly. As I kept breathing, counting now as I tried to even it out with a sudden spike of unease.

"He's not going to die on us is he?" Richie ever the snarky one suddenly sounded genuinely concerned for me. "He's looks like he might be ill."

"He's having a panic or anxiety attack. I've read about them. Don't try and force him to do anything, it might make it worse." Eddie informed as I began to assumed the group was all watching me, surrounding me in worry. The lights suddenly turned on. Shining bright through my eyelids. Causing me to jump and groan.

"Stanley, hand me your jacket."

The light suddenly dims as Bill places said jacket over my head carefully. I feel myself relaxing under the new shade. No one says a word for some time. The sudden quiet from the film ending allows me time to focus myself and breath evenly finally. Slowly testing with one eye, I open it slowly to peek out. I see them all going distance, but still close looking over their chairs in front of me. Bill by my side and Beverly beside him.

I sigh deeply as I close my eyes again and squint shortly.
"S..s…sorry."

"No, don't you apologize for this Bobby. I should have thought about your needs before we came in." Bill looks at me with deep guilt.

I shake my head quick, but slow as it makes me dizzy.
"No, don't a..a..apologize." I can't help but smile at him for his concern.
"I w..wanted you all to have f…fun."

The others I can barely see from under the jacket, though I can tell they too appear to be feeling guilty.

"Don't." I frown, "Please."

"You wanted us to have fun… even if it meant… you were miserable?" Eddie confirming my suspicion from the sound of guilt in his voice.

"That was nice of you Bobby, but… if you don't feel well, you should have told us." Ben sound full of great concern. Almost as much as Bill.

"I… I'll be f…fine." I sigh, though it sounds more miserable then assuring.

"Do you think you can stand? We could go outside and try and get you fresh air." Bill asks, not pushing as he tries to find a way to help me.

"G..give me a … a moment." I close my eyes and breath slowly. The nausea I had been feeling for some time slowly began to fade as my heart rate began to slow back down. I don't know how long it was, but once I finally felt calm enough and assure of myself, I attempted to stand.

I could feel not only Bill's hands on me, but a few others. All trying to make sure I had support if I should suddenly lose balance or worse, faint. I felt myself sway a bit, the hands ever present and trying to support me.
"I… I'm alright." I say barely loud enough I'm sure for them them to hear. "I… I'd like that fresh air now." I can't help the small grin that comes up to my lips as I peak out at them.

All their looks of concern turn to smiles as well as they see my own. I can hear Bill sigh as he continues to lend a hand to me as we make our way out of the theater slowly. As soon as the sun hits me, I smile all the more. Closing my eyes again. Taking in the warmth from it, letting it sooth my nerves.

I can feel all eyes on me as I begin to relax all the more.
"I.. I'll be alright now." I let out a long sigh before looking to the group.

"Good… w.. we were all really worried about you Bobby."
The group nods agreeing to what Bill has just said.

"I.. I'm sorry how much of an ass I was before man." Richie rubs at the back of his neck, not making eye contact. I don't blame him for his reaction and find it easy to take the apology.

"It's O..okay."

I can see him finally look up with a grin, "Thanks. Uh… w.. we saved you part of our hoard of candy and popcorn. Even a soda."

"I'm not really supposed to have it, so I thought I'd give you mine." Eddie shrugged. "I rather not rot my teeth like these guys."

I feel a chuck escape as I take in his and Richie's words. All of them being so kind to have even saved me something, let alone thought of me.
"Thanks. I… I'm actually getting a bit hungry."

They take this as a good sign and offer their gifts of goodies. I take a sip of the pop and sigh not having noticed how dry my mouth had become in all that panic.
"Mmmm, my favorite! I love Dr Pepper."

"You like Dr Pepper?" They seem surprised as Richie asks.

I nod, looking at them with a raised brow, "Yes… why? You think I can't enjoy things?"

They look shocked and unsure how to answer. Bill takes the silent to respond.
"It was Georgie's favorite…"

I stop sipping on the straw as I look at him surprised.
"I.. I…"

"No don't apologize for enjoying something like my brother did. Everyone is just… well trying not to upset me since we…"

"Since we confirmed he was dead." Ben mumbled, finishing what Bill was trying to tell me. "We didn't want to say anything that might remind him…I guess… we're just sort of still trying to not hurt Bill with those memories."

I look between the group and Bill and nod, "But… you sometimes have to hurt…"

They look at me confused, though Bill seems to understand as I continue to speak.

"Memories… even the best ones can hurt. Cause one pain. Sometimes its a good pain worth feeling to remember those best memories of the good times."

They seem to begin to understand and realize they can't protect Bill from everything and shouldn't deprive him of remembering his brother, even if it should hurt him to do so.

"Thank you Bobby… For understanding." Bill smiles, trying his best not to try and use that moment to hug me. I'm glad he remembers how awkward I can be and uncomfortable I am with too much contact with others. But it's not about me at this moment and I feel like Bill is more a friend then a random stranger now.

Pushing my urges aside, I pull him into a hug, "Just for you." He mumble in his ear.

"Thanks Bobby… I know how this can be … uncomfortable."

"All the more proving how I feel of you as my friend. Linda has been the only other person I really let this close…"

"Friend?" He seems surprised by my words.

"That… that is if you don't mind being a friend to slow adult like myself." I mumble pulling away, suddenly feeling awkward and exposed.

"You're not slow Bobby. You're just different. You're smart, smarter then people think or you think. I think of you as a friend too… a big brother really." He looks like he feel just as awkward as me now.

"If I had a brother… I'd be luck if he was anything like you Billy." I can't help the wide toothy grin that spreads across my face. I've never had a sibling, or at least I don't remember having one. As I think of this fact it only becomes all the more apparent to me how much of my life I don't really remember.

"Bobby… are you okay?" Bill looks concerned and it takes me a moment to realize I am not longer smiling but crying silently.

"I…" I pause looking to the rest of the group. They are watching silently as we converse. I swallow and look down and away, "I … I don't remember if I've ever had a sibling…"

I can't see it, but I can feel the group become solemn at my words. They most be beginning to realize just how much of a messed up case I am and just how much IT has taken or destroyed in my life.

"We'll figure this out Bobby." Bill tries his best to reassure me. "We'll get your memories back and defeat IT once and for all."

"Yeah, like how hard can it be. We beat it once. We can do it again." Richie brags, getting nods and yeahs from the rest of the group.

Bill smiles at his friends enthusiasm. Where they had all feared IT before, now courage was taking hold. I couldn't help buy smile as well at how brave the group was.

"Thank you… all of you."

I sip on my drink a while more as they let me gather myself before we all get on our bikes. The food and drink securely held in the basket of the front of my bike for travel. I take my helmet and place it on once more. Though I feel no safer then I had before. My mind is not protected even now.

I follow, the group making sure I'm in the middle. A great change from our first journey. They keep a protective circle as we all head toward one of their many haunts. We find a picnic table and dump our hoard upon it. I drag another over easily to join the other, making sure everyone has room. My long legs taking up one side of the benches as the group takes seats on the remaining open ones.

I look through the pile of candy and pick out my favorites that the others haven't eaten or saved what is left. The group chatters about personal things and random things they enjoy. I take my time to organize each candy by color in it's own kind. Each pile from my favorite flavor to least. M&Ms, Starbursts, Skittles, all organized before I take a moment to decided which to start with first.

"W..what are you doing man?" Richie was watching me curiously and actually not being snarky.

"I… I guess I l..like to organize them…" I tell him honestly, squirming under the attention. "Then eat the ones I like least and make my way to my favorites." I shrug pulling the yellow Starbursts towards me.

"Huh…You have some quarks don't ya. Nothing bad about it or anything." He now seemed to squirm, perhaps feeling awkward.

Feeling the awkwardness build, I popped the candy in my mouth wrapper and all.

"What are you doing?" Richie look startled by my action. The rest of the group turning to stare at me. Confused as to what was happening.
"He just freaking put a Starburst wrapper whole into his mouth!"

Eddie made a disgusted look, sticking his tongue out.
"That's disgusting. Do you know how many germs are on those things!"

I snort, moving the candy about in my mouth. Eddie having his break down while the others continue to watch me curiously. With a grin, an end of wrapper peeks out of my mouth. I carefully take the end in my long fingers before pulling it all out whole. The candy gone having been freed.

"Wow. How did you do that?" Mike asked impressed.

"All tongue." I shrug. "I figured out I could do it randomly one day. I was curious since I could tie cherry steams. Next step up." I can't help feeling full of pride at how they all look at me so impressed.

It's in this moment feeling so relax and pride that I experience the worst pain I can imagine, or in my case, remember. My arms wrap around me as I fall to the side, holding myself tight as I curl up into a ball. I feel like something burning hot was stuck into my chest. Gasping for air that has been knocked out of me. Looking about in fright, trying to make sense of what had just happened. The tears blurring my vision as I lift my hand into my line of sight, but I don't see blood or signs of anything that would cause such distress to my body.

"BOBBY!" Bill is by my side trying to understand what is going on. "What happened?" He looked me over, trying to find anything at all.

"I… I don't know." He sob, trying to understand why this was happening. I didn't get much time to get over it as I felt the feeling suddenly hit again into my side. Screaming as I feel like something is ripping all the way through me. But this isn't the last. I feel the pain several more times as I lay on the ground withering in pain screaming.

As fast as the pain started, it began to slowly devolve away, leaving me breathing heavily. My surroundings began to come back to me as I notice the worried group around me.

"Bob.. Bobby? Are… are you okay?" Bill looked pale. Drained of all life. His eyes so wide. I could smell it then. FEAR. He was actually afraid. Afraid of losing me. "

I… I'm okay…b.. but something is wrong." I sob, "Something is very wrong."