ok im back after a LONG break. hope people still read this thing...
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter… but yea, I own all Zoe and the story. The made up stuff. Hmm.
CHAPTER EIGHT: Strange Matters
Thankfully (for the Slytherins at least), the next morning there was no sign of any mischief from the pranksters of the previous morning. Many of the younger Slytherins could be seen refusing to eat, whilst the bulkier older ones bullied kids from Hufflepuff to test their food for them. Even Fred and George had heard about these new pranksters all the way from Hogsmeade, and were begging to find out who they were, yet there were no answers. Everybody was almost sure it was a Griffindor, or Gryffindors. Afterall who else would reserve such dislike for the Slytherins?
Back on the table, Zoe Potter casually threw a bread roll at Ron's head. "Hey Ron, want a piece of muggle gum?"
Ron shook his head violently. " No thanks, I'm good."
'Oh come on, don't tell me you still haven't gotten over that lizard thing that bit your tongue last summer?"
Ron just grunted and threw the bread roll back at Zoe. Hard. "I'M EATING, WOMAN."
Zoe snickered. Beside her, Harry looked out the window and caught the first glimpse of the mass of owls heading for Hogwarts. "Looks like the mail's come early today."
Before they knew it, owls soared through the windows in every direction and the great hall was transformed into one great grey and brown feathery mess. Harry easily spotted Hedwig from the sky of gloom and chuckled as he fed her some corn off his plate. She gave him an affectionate nip with her beak and flew off. He flipped through his mail. Nothing good, a handful of junk. He turned to Hermione, who had her nose stuck in the Daily Prophet. "Anything good?"
"Not really. Well Madame Priscilla Popper's got a new puppy who can poop pennies."
Ron choked on his bacon. 'You serious? What breed is it? Listen up blokes, that's what I want for my next birthday. Note that down on your diaries. That penny-poppin' poodle – it's mine."
Hermione chuckled. "You don't even know what a penny is, Ron."
'I know its money, that's good enough."
Hermione simply rolled her eyes and turned back to her newspaper. Suddenly, her eyes widened. "Oooh look at this, looks like Malfoy's out of luck. Can you believe it, he's getting engaged to Pansy!"
Ron choked again, and dropped his fork. Harry frowned. "Let me look at that." Hermione chucked the paper over. Sure enough, there, on the Bethrothals/Engagements section was 'P. Parkinson to wed D. Malfoy. Much Congratulations.' He turned his head over to the Slytherin table. There was no doubt about it. He didn't even have to look twice, to know that some sort of celebration was being held. On one side of the table, he saw Pansy with a group of girls huddling around her and giggling. On top of her head, there were literally hearts with wings spinning around and… dancing. On the other side, a banner was flying through the air with words, 'Congratulations' written on it. It was characteristically Slytherin – green, with silver writing, and on the right, there were two little snakes in the shape of a heart and… kissing each other. Harry pulled a look of disgust and turned back to his breakfast.
"If anyone puts any sort of creature on my congratulations banner, be it gorilla, sloth or worm, I'll rip it apart"
Ginny laughed. "They just gave a completely new meaning to tongue twisting.'
Ron spat out his milk. "Argh… Ginny…the images, they're killing me! Can you honestly imagine Malfoy and Pan…"
"RONALD WEASLEY!"
Ron turned to find Hermione dripping with milk and bits of bacon.
"Oh Hermione I'm sorry, I honestly am I…"
Harry laughed as he watched Ron try to charismatically clean Hermione up by pouring water on her. Ron looked up suddenly.
"Hang on, where's the bloody groom?"
Harry looked back at the Slytherin table. Sure enough, Draco Malfoy was nowhere to be seen. That's strange… He shrugged and return to his cereal. Looking across the table, he saw his sister looking at a piece of parchment, deep in thought. Strange, she's been so quiet this morning… "Who's that from?"
Zoe jumped. She gaped at Harry and for once, looked lost for words. "No-no-nobody." She quickly recomposed herself by giving her brother her 'retarded face'(which is where you stick out your buck teeth, flare your nostrils, and thump your arm against your chest)
Ginny raised her eyebrows. "You okay, Zazu?"
Zoe nodded and smiled brightly. "Yeah sure I am! Geez guys… can't a girl think in peace?" She noiselessly folded the piece of parchment and put it under her coat. But this didn't escape Ron's notice. Before she could slap him, Ron took out his wand and summoned the parchment out of her robes, and out of her reach. Zoe yelled in annoyance. "Oei! Back here Weasley! That's private property!"
Heads were now turning in their direction. Ron smirked. "Let's see what's here that's so private shall we?" He stood up and slowly, mercilessly, unfolded the yellowing piece of parchment. "Ooooh, looky here, looks like someone's got an admirer…" The entire table went silent, besides a few snickers.
Zoe grimaced. Hermione shook her head and stood up. "Ron, give it back to her –"
"It's alright Hermione, I will, I will, don't you worry. Wow now, isn't this romantic…"
"Go on, what does it say?" Seamus wolf whistled from the other side of the table.
"Now now, be patient Lavender my sweet pea." Lavender blushed. " It's very sweet, and to the point. It says," At this Ron paused for dramatic effect, and put on a look of disgusting soppiness. "You, Zoe Evaline Potter… are Beautiful." He wiped a few crocodile tears off his face and gave it back to a scowling (but blushing) Zoe. The Gryffindor table laughed and cheered.
Zoe snatched the piece of parchment from Ron and stuffed it into her pockets. "Thanks a lot, Ronnie." She buried her face in her hands. "Now that, was embarrassing."
Harry laughed and put an arm around her shoulder. "Oh come on, he was just joking." He heard a muffle (I know, asshole) and chuckled. "Besides, hey, shows your popularity, eh?" Zoe pointed a finger at him and lifted her head up. She grabbed the nearest bread roll and held it up.
"Ronald Weasley you're going to DIE!"
But alas, she was too late. Ron was a smart little boy – he knew what comes after crossing Zoe Potter. He had already disappeared from the Great Hall, carrying a string of sausages and blueberry muffins with him, of course.
Following breakfast, the golden trio stumbled their way to Potions. Yet it was a strange lesson indeed.
Halfway through. it struck the 6th year Gryffindors very peculiar that Snape had not spoken a word throughout the entire lesson. He didn't even utter a nasty comment in Harry's direction. In fact, he simply pointed at the scrawly instructions written on the board and sat down. It was as if he was determined not to speak. Ron, being Ron decided to stir things up a bit. Besides, he was just in the mood this morning.
"Captain Hook sir?" He waved his arms in the air.
Seamus snorted.
"Captain Hook? Oh Captain Hook, you do look handsome in that robe, is it new?" Ron fluttered his eyelashes.
Still, Snape ignored him. Harry grinned and jumped onto the table
"Oh Ronniekins, look! Hookie's got cleavage"
They could see they were starting to have an effect. Snape glared at Harry.
Ron caught on and he too jumped onto his table, knocking down his cauldron whilst doing so.
"Hey snoopy! Watch me dance!"
The class roared as Ron transfigured his nose into one reminiscent of Snape's and started doing what seemed an Egyptian dance. Harry was paralysed with laughter. Perhaps Ron's trip to Egypt in third year had taught him more than about pyramids.
Snape simply went back to his writing, though you could see that his quill was shaking.
Then it struck Harry. "Oei Snivellus."
Snape froze.
"Snivelley."
Snape looked at him with a brutal expression.
"That's right, I'm talking to you Snivelley."
Snape stood up, a murderous look on his face.
Harry jumped back onto the ground and walked right up to Snape's desk. "Why don't you give me a detention, Snivelley. Scared?"
By now Snape was livid. He opened his mouth and roared…
" I LOVE BOOBIES."
Shocked, he clapped his hands over his mouth.
The class was stunned. Everyone was silent. Snape backed against the wall.
"Did he just say what I think he said?" asked Lavender, as she looked around the room. Dean looked back and nodded, a smile spreading across his face. Pretty, soon, the room erupted with fitful laughter. Ron was on all fours, banging the ground with his fists. Even Hermione was giggling to herself.
Snape continued to muffle into his own hands. Neville (of all people) ran up to the front of the room and, with the aid of Ron, managed to stupefy Snape, taking his hands off his mouth.
"I love boobies I love boobies I LOVE BOOBIES I LOVE BOOBIES!" It seemed like he couldn't stop his mouth from moving.
The class was in hysterics. Everyone was having the time of their life. Everyone that is, except for one lone figure standing in the front of the room. No, actually two. Snape, of course and… Harry. Strange how the world works, isn't it?
You see, Harry had just realised one thing. He had shattered Snape. For the first time in his life, Harry saw weakness in Snape. He had completely shattered him. He had seen him crumble. And worst of all, he was proud of it. He had seen another human being taunted – no, he had taunted another human being, and enjoyed it. I'm not much better than… one of them.
Harry couldn't help but feel a layer of guilt. He had called Snape by his father's old nickname…
But he deserved it, he badmouthed Sirius, he…
Nobody deserves to be treated like that.
"SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!"
Everyone looked up to find Harry standing next to Snape, who was whispering to himself mechanically. He released him, then looked around the room. Breathing heavily, Harry glowered at the staring faces around him. Without another a word, he ran out of the room.
Pleas review - i've a shortage of them ):
-nina
