Chapter Eight: Mr. Katie Bell

Katie dove on her broom to snatch the Quaffle as it plunged through the air as the crowd screamed, mostly in support. Tommy Adams flew her way in a blur as she turned sharply, trying to make her way to the goals to score.

"Nice arse, Bell," Adams yelled her way, and she grit her teeth, dodging a bludger.

Before she would've assumed this was an attempt to distract her into dropping the Quaffle. Now, she knew it was potentially a bad attempt to get in her knickers to win a bet.

"Can't say the same," Katie yelled back, putting on a burst of speed. God, it was really impressive how bad the male Quidditch player's pick-up game was. Perhaps they were so used to broom groupies throwing themselves at them that they had no idea how to get a girl who wasn't desperate for them.

"Love to see yours close up sometime!" Adams shouted at her back, and Katie's teeth were so clenched so might crack a tooth.

"Yeah, well-" Katie stupidly started to yell over her shoulder, and then she saw someone in the stands. She dropped the Quaffle in horror while Adams whooped with excitement, snatching it up and flying in the other direction.

Montague was staring right at her, frowning, but whether he was frowning due to the fact that Katie had not sent him tickets like he apparently had actually wanted, or because she was sucking, she couldn't say.

After a half second of fear, Katie turned and pelted after Adams, desperate to get the Quaffle back. She flattened against her broom, a ringing in her ears from the cheers and boos and perhaps due to the fact that Montague had meant it, he wanted to attend her game, and he was there in the stands with Pucey, wearing a Holyhead Harpies shirt that as far as she could see in a brief moment, was thankfully not covered in glittery Mr. Katie Bell script.

Katie dodged a bludger, one of the Montrose Magpies Chasers who tried to block her and drew almost level with Adams again.

"Hey, Tommy," she yelled, "want to see my tits?"

Two could play this game. She'd had enough of it only benefiting the men.

She was rewarded with Adams dropping the Quaffle, his eyes wide, and Jones scooped it up, flying it in the other direction.

"You bitch!" Adams shouted at her, and Katie laughed, wheeling about on her broom.

"You wish you could see them!" she yelled over her shoulder, chuckling, until she'd remembered that the last boy to see her tits was currently scowling at her in the stands, presumably mad that she hadn't taken him seriously and sent him box tickets. Well, fuck Montague as well. He wasn't her boyfriend, and if he really thought she was fool enough to announce whom she'd been shagging when Rita Skeeter was avidly watching her the whole match…

Jones scored, and most of the stands cheered, the small visitor's section for the Magpies groaning.

Katie made eye contact with a furious and red-faced Adams, who was still flying right near her, and she grinned wider.

"Slut," he hissed viciously, but Katie couldn't care. Didn't care.

They were going to win the game; she had a feeling. Montague and Pucey were going to bear witness to her continued Quidditch superiority, and Rita Skeeter was going to slink home to her lair unsatisfied, with no proof of any chicanery on Katie's part. Life right now, was good.


"Saw your man in the stands, Bell," Hellman said, combing out her wet hair.

Katie turned and got an eyeful of wet bosom. It was some sort of bizarre power move on Hellman's part that she enjoyed, get out her enormous tits and keep them out while having a passive aggressive conversation with Katie or Ginny.

"Nice boobs," Katie said dryly, "really, spectacular. Congratulations."

Ginny and Juliet Northrup, first string Beater, snickered.

"Thank you," Hellman said, slinking over to her locker in slow motion, completely naked.

"Why are you even showering Hellman, it' s not like you got to play," Juliet said.

"I needed a cold shower after spotting Mr. Montague," Hellman said slyly, and Katie pulled a disgusted face against her will while Hellman spelled her hair dry.

"No one wants to hear about your sexual urges, Hellman," Jones barked as she walked through the locker room, still fully dressed in her uniform as usual.

Ginny and Juliet laughed again, Katie joining in.

"Good work, team," Jones said, "great win. The Magpies aren't a joke. We've got to practice hard before we go to Falmouth, the Falcons are looking to repeat this year, and we need to make sure that doesn't happen."

The women cheered, and Jones permitted herself one single smile.

"Bell," she said after the women went back to getting dressed, "a word, if you will."

Katie felt her heart sink. She knew what was coming. Her wet hair dripped down her back as she followed her captain to her office as Ginny looked after her with sympathy.

"I thought you promised me your boy wouldn't be a distraction," Jones said without preamble as the door shut behind Katie.

"He's not," Katie lied.

"Ah," Jones said, "so I didn't see you drop the Quaffle like it was made of butter right in front of him mid match, then?"

"No, I mean...yes, I did, but-"

"Bell, I need time to change Hellman's entire personality or recruit another backup Chaser of her quality," Jones said, "we discussed this in depth."

"Yes," Katie said miserably, "understood. But you won't need a replacement, Captain."

"Oh, won't I?" Jones said caustically as the water gently dripped down Katie's shirt. "I can't play someone who sees some pretty boy and loses her head totally."

"I got the Quaffle back," Katie said sullenly, "didn't I? You ended up scoring anyway."

"Clarence Green told me you distracted his Chaser by offering to flash your tits at him," Jones said bluntly, "while we shook hands post-match."

"So what if I did?" Katie said defensively, already picturing herself being forced to clean out her locker as Hellman gloated at her promotion, no doubt with her tits still out and wet.

"Then I'd say bully for you, and you and Weasley can use that strategy next match against the Falcons," Jones said.

"Yeah well-" Katie started to snap back, then her mouth dropped open. "What?"

Jones grinned.

"Now that I know you're not too high and mighty for some dirty tactics, why not use them, eh? Maybe Weasley can offer to date that star seeker of theirs, Grimsby, mid match. He's eighteen and I've heard sports an impressive collection of articles and pictures about the chosen girlfriend."

Katie made a whimpering noise.

"Oh close your mouth, Bell," Jones said, stripping off her arm guards and throwing them on the desk, "I always though you and Weasley were goody-goody's, very Gryffindor heroics you know, but now that I know you're willing to slap Flint and use your tits as a weapon-"

"No one saw my tits," Katie said, finding her voice.

"I just saw them two minutes ago, Bell," Jones said, lips twitching, "not as noticeable as Hellman's enormous rack, I'll grant you, but some people prefer those perky small ones."

Katie's face burned.

"Your man, for one," Jones needled, "I heard Hellman and some of the other second string girls were making eyes at him from the player's box."

"Just to mess with me," Katie muttered, "I'm sure."

"Or perhaps they did some research, like I did, and discovered your man's one of the most eligible pure-blood bachelors in England," Jones said, her lips wiggling wildly, "very rich, apparently. The heir to some very swank looking mansions."

"Good for him," Katie said sourly, "but I'm not marrying the guy, Captain."

"Smart girl," Jones said, and she no longer could fight her own amusement and grinned, "buy your own mansion, that' s my motto. Fill it with oiled and muscled hunks that feed you grapes and fulfill your every desire."

"Sounds good," Katie said, losing the fight to a smile of her own. "also, Captain, in relation to nothing, can I get an invitation to your mansion full of oiled and muscled hunks some time?"

"If you distract the right boys next week, sure," Jones said, "but avoid rich boys unless it's for your own brief fun, Bell. They aren't worth the headache. Keep up your performance on the field and you'll be rich yourself soon."

"Good advice," Katie said. It was, if she wasn't so dumb that she kept not taking it.

"Take notes," Jones urged, still looking amused, "and don't ever let yourself get beholden to a rich boy, Bell. They don't like to give, as wealthy as they are. They only like to take."


Katie waited in the locker room so long with Ginny that no one else was left but Hellman, whose post shower routine was legendary. She couldn't risk Montague waiting for her outside the pitch, probably to confront her about something or other. She didn't even know what, but he hadn't looked happy when she'd briefly glanced at him post-match, for all that he was on his feet and clapping as everyone cheered around him, including Pucey.

Ginny was attempting to braid Katie's hair in some complicated pattern as a pretext for their dawdling, but judging by the sidelong looks Hellman was shooting them as she primped in the mirror Katie had the feeling they weren't fooling her.

"OW!" Katie said, wincing, as Ginny pulled too sharply and a snarl appeared in her hair.

"Sorry," Ginny said, trying to fix the snarl and making it worse.

Hellman blotted red magical lipstick on her pouty lips. As much as she couldn't stand the girl even Katie had to admit Hellman was sexy, damn her. She was the only second-string player in the league with more than one sponsor. Even Alicia, who languished in the second string for the Kestrals, only had one sponsor and that, as Alicia admitted, was due to her war heroine status more then anything else. Alicia was remarkably blase about her current career trajectory, but then again Alicia was more of a Harry and George type and had therefore never lived and breathed Quidditch the way Angelina, Katie, and Oliver did.

"Want to borrow this?" Hellman asked Katie unexpectedly, holding out the magical lipstick.

"No thanks," Katie said hastily, trying to fix her hair and avoid Hellman's eye. Alicia had tried to teach Katie how to do magical makeup many times, but she'd stuck to Muggle makeup. Katie only went out to pubs and clubs with her Muggle friends for the anonymity, and she couldn't exactly wear makeup that stayed perfect all night through drinks and sweating and dancing. The rest of the time, Katie was far too lazy to bother with makeup.

"I can put it on you," Hellman said, humiliating Katie by guessing correctly why she'd turned her offer down, "it will be fun!"

"Leave her alone, Hellman," Ginny snapped.

"You'd look good with more of a purple," Hellman said doggedly to Ginny, "it will look nice with your hair."

"Are you feeling okay, Hellman?" Ginny said, attempting to braid Katie's hair again.

Hellman, surprisingly, looked hurt.

"You know we could make a killing in sponsors if you two weren't so stubborn and Jones wasn't so uptight," Hellman said, "the three of us. We could hang out together all the time, making the boys drool. The hot trio of Chasers. Think of all the positive press! Jones couldn't even be mad once the money starts rolling in. You don't have to worry about making yourselves look good, I can fix you two up a bit."

"You slag," Ginny said, but then she started to giggle, presumably at the thought of the three of them prancing around for staged candid photos in skimpy clothes and eating ice cream in full faces of makeup, "and we're already hot, I'll have you know."

"Not as hot as me," Hellman said smugly and, to be fair, truthfully. "At least let me give you some of this for your man, Bell," She said, coming forward with the lipstick again, and before Katie could protest, she was getting lipstick smeared all over her mouth.

"He's not my man," Katie said stiffly, but somehow Ginny was styling her hair and Hellman was now attacking her with eye makeup and Katie was getting some sort of twisted makeover for their team celebratory dinner. She could only hope that Montague had the good sense to stay away from it and know that he wasn't invited.

Montague, of course, had no sense.

"Bell," Montague said as she wandered out of the locker room with Ginny and Hellman, who were laughing together a bit too much for comfort, Ginny's lips painted deep purple red and her hair in a twisted knot on the top of her head, Katie in a Holyhead shirt and jeans, her painted face and well done hair clashing with her club makeup.

Pucey was next to him, both of them leaning on the wooden fence that surrounded the player's area.

"What are you doing here?" Katie blurted in horror.

What she meant to say was, what are you still doing here, or how did you get this close to the player's box when we have security, but the words twisted in her mouth. She thought for sure if they Apparated from just outside the fence where the wards ended she'd get away Scot free, even if Montague had been waiting where the rest of the fans hung out, but perhaps she overestimated the Harpies security witches and wizards.

"Who'd you bribe to get in?" Ginny said sourly as Pucey eyed her in turn, before his eyes drifted to Hellman and his face changed expression to something unreadable.

"Hello, good to see you again, Graham," Hellman said, her voice lower than usual, her tits jutting out so forcefully Katie bit off a comment about poking out someone's eye. They'd been getting along with Hellman for twenty solid minutes. No need to ruin it over Montague.

"It seems my ticket got lost en route, Bell," Montague said, ignoring Ginny and Hellman utterly, "bad owl?"

Katie affected a look of confusion, pretending she was Luna Lovegood getting asked about the state of the Ministry. That sort of fanatical innocence combined with a fervent belief in the absurd unnerved even the stoutest person.

"How terrible," Katie said, "I'm sure I sent you a pair."

Montague's eyes narrowed. "I'm sure you did," he said, "shall I buy you a new owl, Bell? Seems whichever one you used was faulty."

"How nice of you," Hellman interjected, floating in front of Katie. When she passed her, Katie could see the sexy little twist to her mouth, the fluttering of her long lashes. "Katie, you're so lucky!"

"So lucky," Pucey repeated sarcastically, and Katie tore her eyes away from the insolent anger on Montague's face and looked at Pucey, perplexed. She was sure Hellman would be catnip to a boy like Pucey, but he was looking her up and down like she was trash.

"Great," Katie said, loudly, moving in front of Hellman again, not sure what was going on and not wanting whatever it was to get worse, "send it to my flat, would you? We've got a dinner to get to, see you soon?"

"Katie, isn't your boyfriend coming?" Hellman said, elbowing Katie to the side again. Her voice traveled and a nearby security wizard glanced over. Oh no.

"Katie's single as you well know," Ginny said, even louder, her eyes also darting to the security wizard. "Players only, you know the rules Hellman," Katie said hastily.

"That's not-" Hellman started to say.

"You played well, Bell," Pucey said, joining Montague in ignoring Hellman like she didn't exist, "great move with the Finbourgh Flick in the second half."

"Thanks," Katie said, surprised.

"You always got Flint with that one, it drove him mad," Pucey said with a smile.

"That it did," Montague said shortly.

"Well, thanks for coming," Katie said nervously.

Why was it she was noticing more and more witnesses every moment to her shame? Maybe she could play this off as fanboys, or old school chums. She didn't see the bright green robes and quill of Rita Skeeter anywhere, but that didn't mean she didn't have sources.

"Thank you for inviting us," Pucey said, apparently unaware of the rage boiling off his friend, "best match I've seen in a while."

"Oh, I don't know," Montague said, "Bell's dropping of the Quaffle for no reason was pretty terrible."

Pucey glanced at his friend.

"Happens to the best of us," he said lightly.

"And the worst, more often," Montague said meanly.

Hellman laughed like a wind chime clanging on an organ bell, tossing her hair and her tits while more of the security wizards turned to stare.

"You'd know all about the worst players," Ginny said, even meaner, "not like either of you got on a professional team, did you?"

Montague opened his mouth to say something that was no doubt going to be awful and Pucey jumped in again.

"Well, we never had your natural talent, Weasley, no need to rub it in," he said, "I'm already torn up about my boring life."

Katie tried to smile for the witnesses. No one could overhear this, right? Rita couldn't get on the players grounds, could she? But then again, Pucey and Montague shouldn't have been able to...

"And who might you be?" Hellman asked Pucey.

"Let's get going," Pucey said, as if Hellman was invisible and mute, "let the team celebrate together, eh Graham?"

Montague's jaw muscle jumped, but he nodded stiffly. Hellman was still trying to gamely smile. Ginny was scowling, her face like thunder.

"Great," Katie said, almost boneless with relief that she was escaping disaster, "see you around."

"My mother's birthday dinner is next Friday," Montague told her, "I'll come round to get you at seven."

"Oh, of course," Katie said, remembering their little joke, "how could I forget. I've got my aubergine colored dress and all, so you don't have to get me one. Are you bringing the rubies?"

Hellman gasped a little, and when Pucey finally looked at her again his lip curled.

"The amethysts," Montague corrected, "remember?"

"Yeah, how wonderful," Katie said, "make sure I get a tiara too, don't forget."

"Great, maybe ask Alicia if she can come?" Pucey said hopefully, "I haven't got a date yet."

"Totally," Katie said, fighting a laugh, "she'll wear spandex and yellow leather. It will be great."

"No one looks like a Hufflepuff in my mother's home," Montague said dryly, and Hellman gasped at the insult to her house.

"Well, whatever," Katie shrugged, "we'll dress accordingly to rub shoulders with pure-bloods in their natural reptilian habitat. Anyway, we've got to go, they're probably all drunk without us already!"

She darted out the gate, walking as fast past Montague as possible, ignoring his attempts to talk to her back, and Apparated away, Ginny and Hellman following, a rush of blood to her head from the apparition and the relief.

"What the fuck was his mate's problem?" Hellman demanded loudly as they walked around to the entrance of the pub, her flirtatious manner completely gone. This irate version of Hellman was infinitely preferable.

"He's a Slytherin," Ginny said, like that explained all. Katie nodded. It did explain all.

They walked into the pub, Hellman still fuming. Katie spotted Jones from across the room, and waved at the other Harpies and their guests. She had, of course, been lying that she couldn't invite someone.

"Katie," Ginny said, as they made their way over, "you realize Montague wasn't joking, right?"

"Of course, he was," Katie snorted, "invite the Mudblood to his precious mother's birthday dinner of snobbery? Come on. I'd use the wrong fork and slouch at the table and call someone a bigot within minutes. That's assuming they even let me in the door. That's assuming his parents don't have strokes from rage."

"Weasley's right," Hellman said, "and good luck to you. I'm guessing his little friend knows I'm a Mudblood too and that's why he was acting like I'm dirt under his foot. Not sure why his mate is being nice to you, though. Your parents are just as poor and undesirable as mine. Well, have fun with getting treated like that all night, Bell."

She sauntered away from the girls, making her way to the table and what was surely many men drooling over her.

"Of course he was joking," Katie said, standing still, "come on."

"Better buy a purple dress," Ginny said grimly.


The day from hell had all started with a newspaper.

"Don't we get a copy of the Prophet by now?" Katie asked, sipping a glass of orange juice. Jones had given them Sunday off to rest, and she hadn't been able to talk Ange or Alicia into brunch for some reason. Edith was probably pining about their absence!

"Oh, how strange," Alicia said, picking up a muffin and shoving it whole into her mouth.

Katie turned to look. "Hungry, Alicia?"

Alicia made muffled muffin mouth noises.

"We could've gotten brunch you know," Katie said for the fifteenth time, "if you're so starving."

"Got a date with George," Ange said, and then promptly stuffed a cheese Danish into her own mouth.

"At nine am?" Katie asked, bewildered, "and while I'm at it, why are you two even awake?"

"No reason," both girls mumbled around pastries.

"Why am I awake," Katie mumbled, her eyes itching from lack of sleep. They'd partied for hours last night, no one had picked the Harpies to beat the Magpies but Jones, who had placed a hefty bet against the captain of the Magpies and won so many galleons she'd paid for the order of everyone in the pub.

"No idea," Alicia said, after swallowing her muffin.

"Go back to sleep," Ange said.

"Not until I find the paper," Katie said stubbornly, "I want to see how they wrote up the match."

"Oh, I'll rustle up a copy," Ange said, "give you the articles. Go on, get some more sleep."

Katie paused, a half of a bagel in her hand still. She looked left at Alicia, who immediately got up to pour herself a cup of tea. She looked right at Ange, who was fussing with one of the many bouquets Montague had sent, changing the water, even though she could've used her wand to do it instead.

"All right, spill," Katie said shortly, putting down her bagel.

"What?" her friends both said in unison.

"Neither of you are ever awake this early," Katie said.

"I've got practice,' Alicia said, "not every one of us won our game last night, you know."

"That's right," Ange agreed, "I'm sneaking in a quick date with George first, that's all."

"Who's watching the shop?" Katie demanded.

"Ron," Ange said promptly.

"Who took our paper?" Katie said, crossing her arms.

"Who knows," Alicia shrugged, "the owl is probably just late. Calm down, Katie."

That did it. Katie slumped over, her head in her palm.

"Rita wrote an article?"

"No," Alicia said hastily, "of course not."

"What do you mean?" Ange said at the same time.

"Just let me read it," Katie said wearily, "it can't be that bad."

"There's no article," Alicia said.

"The paper is just late, Katie!" Ange agreed.

As if on cue, an owl flew toward the open kitchen window.

Katie felt guilty. Pretending to have feelings for Montague in order to manipulate him to protect her reputation was taking its toll. Faux dating a Slytherin was taking its toll. They were always lying and manipulating, deceiving and conniving. It was like trying to ice skate on feet covered in oil.

"Sorry," Katie said, reaching for the owl with a sigh as it shook its feathers, not noticing the way Alicia and Ange tensed, "I've gotten so testy and paranoid. I'm blaming Mont-"

She looked at the owl's beak. It was not a copy of the Prophet. The envelope was red.

"What in the Snorkack hell-"

The Howler began to smoke. Through their window flew another owl.

Alicia lunged for her wand, casting a silencing charm on the flat's walls to protect their Muggle neighbors.

The second owl held out another red envelope to Katie.

"Run," Alicia squealed.

"Open it," Ange said.

Katie took a deep breath and ripped open the envelope at the same time that the second letter began to smoke, and a third owl flew through the window.

"COMPLETE TRASH LIKE YOU DON'T DESERVE A FINE PURE-BLOOD BOY. SAVE HIM FOR GOOD PURE-BLOOD GIRLS LIKE MY NIECE YOU SHAMELESS MUGGLE HUSSY!"

"Hussy," Katie said as her ears rang, "wow. That's some nineteen fifty-two-ish insult right there-"

The second letter exploded as she tried to reach for it.

"YOU SUCK AT QUIDDITCH BELL BUT YOU SUCK PURE-BLOOD COCK MORE YOU SLUT. COME SUCK MINE TOO AND I'LL GIVE YOU A GALLEON."

"Who sent that?" Alicia shouted, her ears covered, and her face screwed up, "and can we get a restraining order on him?"

A fourth owl jostled in place on top of the baked goods. The third owl knocked over the orange juice carton as it waved its Howler at Katie.

"I would hope I'd be a higher priced call girl then one galleon a blow-job," Katie tried to joke.

"You did it for free," Alicia reminded her.

"Hey," Katie said indignantly, her eardrums throbbing, "nothing was suck-"

The third Howler exploded before Ange could get to it.

"YOU WHORE YOU AREN'T EVEN PRETTY AND YOUR TITS ARE THE SIZE OF GRAPES. HOW DID YOU TAKE AN ELIGIBLE BACHELOR AWAY FROM MY SISTER AND ME?"

"Guess some of them are into incest," Katie said, trying to joke. "And polygamy." The owls were now pecking each other.

"YOU TRAITOR, DON'T YOU REMEMBER FRED WEASLEY AND PROFESSOR LUPIN AND LAVENDER BROWN AND COLIN CREEVEY?"

Katie felt her face drain of blood.

"HOW COULD YOU DATE ONE OF THEIR SLYTHERIN KILLERS KATIE? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US?"

"He was in Saint Mungo's," Katie said weakly. Outside the window, she could see a mass of owls flying their way, "during the fight. I checked last week, because everyone was so sure he might be a Death Eater. I asked the junior Healer on the spell damage ward, Smills, we got to be good friends when I was there, and Montague had a relapse-"

Another Howler exploded, this one from a fan of hers who had proposed marriage repeatedly, was a sixty-two year old wizard with four hairs left on his head, and had once painted his own arse with Katie Bell will you be under my spell? And mooned her mid match.

Ange conjured some cotton and shoved it in her ears grimly, holding pieces out to Alicia and Katie, and then topped it with a conjured set of earmuffs.

The Howlers went on for another hour. They would've gone on even longer, but George arrived with earmuffs already in place, and sprinkled a pink powder over the Howlers. They still smoked, shook, and exploded, but the insults were shrieked in blessed silence.

"Bellowing Banshee Counteracting Powder," George told them while they all removed the earmuffs and cotton, wincing. "Newest line of Wheezes products for the mischief maker dumb enough to get caught. We're going to make a killing on them."

"Presumably from yours and Ron's purchases alone," Angelina said, eyeing the dormant Howler like she wasn't sure the lack of screaming could be trusted or not.

"I will accept your gratitude in the form of spontaneous dance numbers," George said, throwing himself on the sofa.

"Thank you George," Katie said, pinching the spot between her brows where her throbbing headache was worst, while Alicia enthusiastically burst into a dance that combined the twist, the disco point, and the running man in an abomination to the eyes.

"Least I could do after that hatchet job in the paper," George said, as Angelina made frantic shushing gestures at him and Alicia changed her dance to a flail that contained a vigorous shake of the head.

"I wouldn't know," Katie said, "our copy has mysteriously not been delivered, haven't you heard?"

"Ah, of course," George said, "lucky for you, Katie, I picked up an extra copy to wipe my arse with later. Here you go."

He pulled a copy from his back pocket and tossed it to her, Alicia and Angelina giving up all pretense and trying to snatch it midair before Katie could get to it.

It was already folded to the gossip section and the damning headline.

War Heroine Sleeps with Mysterious Pure-Blood Slytherin was screaming at Katie in inch high letters.

Beneath said headline was a picture of Montague and Pucey from after her game the week before, both clad in Holyhead Harpies shirts, their faces covered fully with giant purple question marks.

"Who took this photo?" Katie asked. She certainly hadn't seen anyone anywhere near them aside from the security wizards, and no one had had a camera.

"Does it matter?' Alicia said grimly, and Katie read the article out loud, expecting the worst.

"One of the wizarding world's most famous bachelorettes has found a man at last, writes Rita Skeeter, special correspondent."

"At last?" Katie said, affronted. Nate the Bartender had agreed to meet with her for coffee in two days! And it hadn't been that long since her last bloke!

"Not the point, is it?" George said lightly.

"Long a coveted witch for rich and poor members of the wizarding world alike to snag, Katie Bell, who gained fame from her very close personal relationship with The-Boy-Who-Lived, has found an admirer in one mysterious Slytherin alumni and pure-blood heir to a large family fortune. Although Miss Bell has denied being in a relationship, even going so far as to refuse her new boyfriend entry into the Holyhead Harpies celebratory dinner after their last match, I can exclusively reveal that their clandestine relationship is very real. 'She talks about him all time, says Sheila Hellman, Bell's Holyhead teammate and close friend, 'I think she's obsessed, honestly.'"

"WHAT!" Katie shouted, louder than even the Howler that had screamed about how she was a long-legged skank who was using love potions to snag rich wizards.

"That bitch!" Alicia said loudly, even though of course Alicia must have read this all hours ago, and been part of the cover-up with Angelina.

"Traitorous hussy," George nodded, lips twitching.

Katie couldn't even decide what was worse: Hellman talking about her relationship, Hellman calling her obsessed with Montague, or Hellman claiming they were close friends.

"The gorgeous Miss Hellman, who some consider a better flyer then Miss Bell but was mysteriously denied a spot on the team—"

"Mysterious my ass," George said loudly, "she can't fly in a straight line!"

This was not, strictly true, and Katie had spent more than one night lying awake after a bad practice in a sweat, wondering when Jones would boot her from first string for Hellman even before this mess with Montague but she appreciated the sentiment, nonetheless.

"-assures me that Miss Bell and her new Slytherin boytoy have been dating for quite some time, spending many nights—"

"Once," Katie interrupted herself again resentfully, "once!" She picked up the paper again in disgust.

"-many nights at her Slytherin hunk's luxurious flat. One can't help but be reminded of the rumors of Miss Bell's new beaux's father's dealings with Lucius Malfoy during the war, and the amount of money drained from the family vaults during this time that has never been accounted for."
"They probably bought a fourteenth mansion somewhere," George grunted, then he shook his head in disgust. "and hang on, why am I defending Montague?"

"Such is the odiousness that is Rita Skeeter," Alicia said solemnly.

Katie cleared her throat as he heart pounded sickeningly, then continued, waiting for Rita to drop the bombshell on who Katie was actually dating.

"While I can't help but admire true love-"

Angelina gagged loudly.

"- in the face of insurmountable odds like class disparity, rival houses, potential Death Eater dealings, and a vast difference in beauty—"

Katie looked at her friends indignantly.

"Is she calling me ugly on top of it?" she asked.

"It's a Rita classic," George said sympathetically, "it's almost done Katie. Finish her off."

"—a person can't help but wonder what these two very different people have in common, and if their friends and family approve of a match between an aristocratic bad boy—"

Ange gagged louder.

"—from a wealthy You-Know-Who sympathetic family and the girl who used to be the rumored paramour of the wizarding world's favorite hero, The-Boy-Who-Lived." Katie threw the paper away from her in a ball.

"No one said that until Rita made it up!" Katie said, enraged, "No one ever said Harry and I dated!" "Buck up, you having an affair with Harry is still less awful then you banging Montague," Alicia said.

"She's saying I'm doing both!" Katie reminded her friends.

"Well," Ange said after exchanging looks with George, "actually…keep reading, Katie."

"You have a good work ethic," George said, "really, top marks, Katie, apparently you've made it with Oliver too, don't forget past articles from old Rita."

"I've apparently got more miles flown on me then Pansy Parkinson," Katie said sourly.

"But better taste," Alicia said while George gagged with Ange, "I mean, no one's accusing you of Malfoy, at least!"

Katie sighed, and picked up the paper again reluctantly, straightening it out. Rita was making rather an ordeal of not writing Montague's name for some reason. "Although your writer recognized immediately who this sexy wizard was, Miss Hellman begged me not to reveal the identity of Miss Bell's boyfriend, citing the backlash they'd both face for this forbidden romance."

"What?" Katie shouted again, looking around wildly in disbelief, "but she…Hellman…Rita posted a picture of Montague and Pucey right here!" she jabbed violently at the paper, "it's just missing the faces!" she sat down abruptly, her head spinning. Was she saved? Was her secret still safe? Could she stop Rita somehow, stuff her in a trunk like Barty Crouch Junior had done to Mad-Eye Moody her fifth year, get some centaurs to tie her up like Umbridge, bribe her with…what? What could you bribe Rita Skeeter with? She read on, face tingling in panicked confusion.

"But it's only a matter of time before Miss Bell's new lover is revealed, and the strength of their most likely doomed romance tested- what in the bloody hell!" Katie said, slumping over with boneless relief mixed with deepest bewilderment.

"It sounds like a threat," George said ominously, cracking his knuckles, "doesn't it?"

"Yes," Katie said at once, "And Hellman too, right? That sounded like a threat? Why would she reveal all of these details about our relationship, most of them made up, mind you, and then—" Katie picked up the paper to reread the section, "beg Rita not to reveal who Montague is because of the backlash we'd both face?"

"She wants something from you," Ange said at once.

"Rita?" Katie asked, "or Hellman?"

"Yes," Ange nodded.

"Which one?" Katie asked.

"Both," Ange, Alicia, and George said at once, and Katie groaned.

"None of this makes any sense! Hellman was nice to me for twenty whole minutes last night!"

"Until?" Alicia prompted.

"Until Montague and Pucey showed up and Pucey was rude to her for no reason," Katie frowned, "maybe that was it? But I can't control Pucey!"

"Only Alicia can," George nodded, his lips twitching, and Alicia threw a pot at him that he caught with a smirk.

"Maybe Rita didn't pay her enough," Alicia mused.

"Maybe they're both going to blackmail me," Katie groaned, "but I'm poor! I mean, kind of."

"Maybe they want something else from you," Ange said.

Katie's eyes widened in alarm.

"Like what?"

A loud crack sounded in the flat and they all shrieked, even George, though he denied it later.

There was a house elf with large purplish eyes and enormous ears. From each ear dangled one golden hoop.

Katie had never seen this elf before in her life, yet she knew who this was.

"Hello, Sassy," she said, exhausted.

The elf was holding a purple leather box affixed with a purple velvet ribbon that matched her eyes.

"Hello Mistress Katie!" the elf squeaked, "Sassy is so pleased to be meeting miss! Sassy cannot wait until she can dress Miss for the wedding!"

George gave a full body shuddering yelp.

Katie ignored this comment. There was no point in arguing with a house elf, none at all. She'd tried to tell that to Hermione years ago and Hermione had replied, "actually Katie, there's no point in arguing with me." That had started her avoidance and vague fear of Hermione Granger, a fear that had only grown when she'd cursed Marietta Edgecombe and Confunded McLagggen, not that Katie had exactly been upset at that last one.

"You've brought me something from him?" Katie said, resigned.

"Oh yes, miss!" Sassy squeaked. She was better dressed them most house elves, Katie would give Montague that. Of course, dressing your house slave well was not exactly a ringing endorsement of your quality as a human being.

Sassy opened the box, and her friends gasped probably against their will, but Katie felt no surprise. Of course it was the amethyst jewels.

"Master Graham says here's your gift, to wear with your pretty Muggle dress on Friday!" Sassy squeaked. She handed the box to Katie. It weighed a lot. "Master says show your nice legs, Miss Katie!"

George heaved.

"Will do, Sassy," Katie said. So Montague wanted her to be sexy? She could be so sexy he would choke on it.

"Master Graham says he would like to see you before Friday, but he will be busy convincing Master Edgar not to disown him!" Sassy squeaked happily. "After Master Edgar recognized Master Graham in that paper this morning! Master screamed so much Sassy's ears hurt!"

"Noted," Katie said dryly.

"Sassy is being offered to help miss Katie with her hair and makeup for the dinner!" Sassy said, "Sassy can make you even prettier, miss!"

"Thank you," Katie said, thinking of how Alicia expertly applied makeup with a trowel for her nights out and then subsequently had to beat men off of her all night, "but I've got it covered."
"If Miss is sure! Goodbye, Miss," Sassy squeaked, curtsying.

"See you Friday," Katie said, her stomach in knots.

"Oh no," Sassy said, her eyes huge, "Sassy would be a bad elf if you saw Sassy at a party!"

Katie had no idea how to reply to this awful statement and instead gaped like a carp until the house elf Disapparted after curtsying to her friends as well.

She looked down at the monstrous jewels in her hands. They were ropes of diamonds studded throughout with obscenely large amethysts. The earrings were just as ostentatious, diamonds on a string leading to the large teardrop shaped amethyst dangling below.

"Wow," Alicia said, picking up a strand and inspecting it, "did she say this was a gift?"

"I think so," Katie said uneasily.

"Not a loan?" Ange demanded, picking up an earring.

"I'm sure it's just a loan," Katie said, her stomach twisting further. Montague couldn't possibly be gifting her this set of jewels. Right?

"You can't wear this with that purple Muggle club dress we got you," Alicia said briskly.

"Why not?" George said, "thumb your nose at the lot of them, Katie. Sell the jewels and make that statue of Fred we discussed. He can be pissing on Voldemort's corpse or something."

And just like that, her stomach untwisted, and Katie laughed.

"I just might," she said, "and you're right Alicia, I can't wear that dress. it's bright purple. I promised him aubergines."

The Howlers she pushed from her thoughts, the vicious article, the letters of despair from her slightly less hostile amorous fans, the upcoming blackmail percolating in Hellman and Rita Skeeter's minds. Her secret was still safe. People didn't know, not really. Not yet. There was still a game to play. And Katie was good at winning games.

"Let's go shopping."


Author Note: Thank you all so much for your support! My reviews are my fuel right now in this awful time. :) For one of my guest reviews...yes, alas, poor Alicia tried on bikinis too...because she does like to mess with Pucey, and kind of enjoyed herself. :)