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Women

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Jon was sitting on a park bench with a cup of coffee, Garfield stretching lazily beside him. A couple walked past, hand in hand.

"I just don't understand it," Jon sighed to himself. "I never seem to have any success with women."

No sooner than Jon had uttered the sentence, a curvy blond sidled up towards him and fluttered her eyelashes flirtatiously. "I've lost my phone number," she said boldly, leaning in a little closer. "You couldn't let me borrow yours?" More eyelash fluttering.

"Oh, don't worry," Jon replied, tapping the side of his cup absently. "I've done that plenty of times before. Just look yourself up in the phone book," he added helpfully.

The lady walked off, rolling her eyes.

Jon slumped in his seat again, watching her retreating figure. "Take her, for instance. I'd never stand a chance. I wonder why I have such bad luck with women?"

Garfield rolled his eyes. Beats me.