Normally, I spell check and do all that good stuff. Well, there was a spell check, but I've only scanned the chapter. Bad English Major! Bad! However, I've had a recent surge of inspiration.

I don't want to talk about the episode. I really feel like there was an injustice to the Addison and Derek relationship. I get the obsession with Merder. I get it. I know it would always go back to Merder. I just did not expect it so soon. I had hoped for more history. I had hoped for a better understanding. Life is not black and white. It's Gray.

But looking back on the episode, Callie was right. This show is high school. They all are 17 years old. So in that world it is Black and White. None the less, I am very unsatisfied. I hope that the show will pick up, but right now I choose to ignore that season 3 and live with mine. Derek isnt Mc Dreamy. Derek never was nor will he ever be.

With all that said, Happy Birthday Kayli!


.10.

We Do What We Have To Do

Take a drink of wine.

Take a shot of tequila.

Take another bite,

You know it will kill ya.

We do what we have to do to survive.

It's just a meaningless kiss.

A passionate affair.

It means nothing when his fingers are tangle in your hair.

We do what we have to do, to dull the pain inside.

Forget the consequences, we all die in time.

Izzie sat in her car in front of Denny's apartment building. In her hand, she held the keys. Nervously, she moved them in her hand. She was to meet Daniel and Koryn at 9. It was 735am. She hadn't been able to sleep the night before. Izzie had tossed and turned the entire night. At 5am, she had dragged herself from bed to go running. It didn't help.

"You can do this," she muttered to herself. In a surge of courage, Izzie rushed from her car and into the building, waving at the doorman as she passed by.

She hurled herself into an elevator, startling the old woman inside it.

"In a rush, dear?" she asked sweetly.

Izzie smiled at her embarrassed. "Something like that."

"Off to see a boyfriend?"

Izzie didn't know how to answer.

"You're Denny's Isobel, aren't you?"

Izzie was startled by the woman's declaration.

"I'm his neighbor, Felicity Helgcroft. He told me about the beautiful doctor determined to find him a heart. I'm so sorry to hear about his--."

"Thank you," Izzie interrupted.

Felicity looked at the young woman sympathetically. She place a small hand on Izzie's shoulder.

"He was a good man. Kindest neighbor I have ever had."

She smiled at Izzie as the door opened on Denny's floor. Izzie closed her eyes and the woman was gone. With a deep breath in her lungs, Izzie stepped on to Denny's floor. Now she just had to make it into the apartment.

"You know what I could really get used to this," Meredith comment as she took a cup of coffee from Finn. "That scares me."

"I could too," he responded and pecked her on the cheek.

"Hey! Me three," George joked, breezing into the kitchen. He pecked Finn on the cheek as well and picked up the filled travel mug.

"Seriously, I love you, man. Tattooed ass guy gots nothing on you!" George called out as he made his way to the back door.

"That guy is insane," Finn commented as George closed the door.

"Yeah, but we love him."

Cristina stood next to Burke's bed with a cup of coffee and a bakery bag in hand. She tilted her head to the side and watched him sleep. She had never seen Burke sleep past 530am. So, him asleep at 730am was an unnatural sight.

In a very un- Cristina like fashion, she kissed him on the forehead and set her belongings down.

She picked up his chart. Apparently someone had just administered a sedative. It would be a late morning for him.

"Cris?" Leila said from the door way.

"Oh hey, Leila."

"How is he?"

"He'll be out for a while," Cristina answered, not quite meetings Leila's eyes.

"So, you and Prest.."

"Yeah."

"How did that happen?"

"He bought me coffee."

"Always was an easy one for coffee."

Addison took a drink of her coffee before beginning the processes of straightening her hair. As she ran the straightened over the top layer of her hair, she paused. Addison set the iron down and pulled the top layer back with a clip. She changed her mind. She was going to go for a different look, entirely.

Addison packed her coffee to go and walked out the door without a single glance to her husband sitting on their bed.

"Hey Addi, where are you--" Derek's question was cut off by the slamming of the trailer door.

Addison got in her car and smirked at the trailer. Yes, today was going to be a good day.

"Richard, I need a personal day. Have Mira reschedule all appointments. Tell them I'll be in surgery all day or something. I need a day," she explained as she dug around her purse in search of her wallet. Addison tossed her cell phone from the side and pulled a platinum card from her wallet. The name Derek A. Shepherd gleamed in the faint sunlight.

Derek was going to pay.

Derek moved off the bed and watched as Addison chatted on the phone before pulling away from the trailer. He could not believe how fast everything had managed to come a part. He rubbed his face with his hand and moved into the kitchen. The clock on the stove reminded him that he had a long day ahead of him.

Derek reached up into the cabinet for his travel mug. He glanced over at a bottle of coffee liquor. He yanked his mug down and slammed the cabinet. He was not going to start his day with a drink. All he needed was coffee and a bagel.

Addison practically skipped into Saks 5th Avenue. Retail therapy was amongst her favorite sort of therapy. Right up there with massage therapy. She made a mental note to find a spa. Yes, Derek was going to give her a day of beauty and shopping and he didn't even know it.

Addison noticed the sign of a spa next to the main Saks entrance. She raised a brow, her mind pondering the idea. Shopping first or spa? Spa!

"Hello, my name is Addison Shepherd. I'd like to make an appointment. And trust me money is no object. It will all be on my husbands card."

The woman behind the desk looked at Addison curiously.

"He cheated on me."

The woman who would later introduce herself as Lindy perked up. "Well, we have the most amazing body wraps. And Gaston would be honored to touch that gorgeous mane of yours…"

"I want it all!" Addison responded and allowed the woman to guide her into the back of the spa.


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