9/18

It was better than he even hoped, and he hoped the moment wouldn't end. It had to, though, and it did. But then she looked him in the eyes, her fingers still running through his hair, and he saw something there. She was feeling for him what he'd felt for her for so long. After the moment they shared and they way she was looking at him now, there was no way she could be feeling any other way he thought.

Then everything went crazy.

The door slammed, and they both looked over to see Roy standing there. He couldn't have looked angrier. Jim tensed up, ready for a fight. But instead, Roy just turned around, swung the door open hard and walked out. And Pam went after him. Maybe it was just out of habit, but Jim was wondering to himself why she did. Hadn't everything changed, he thought in the few seconds it took her to cross the office and run down hall after Roy. Hadn't she discovered that Roy wasn't the one for her, Jim thought. So he went after her. He didn't know what he'd say when he caught up with her or what would happen between her or Roy, or more specifically, what would happen if he caught up with Roy himself. He was a few feet behind her at the top of the stairwell, and he could see she had every intention of following Roy down.

"Pam, don't go," he said. "You don't have to."

She turned and looked at him, tears running down her face, then looked back down the stairs.

"I have to, Jim," she said. "You don't understand. I can't just…"

There those words were again, "I can't," he thought. That was her response when he told her he loved her. Well, he hadn't taken that as answer then so why start now. Jim followed her downstairs and outside where she ran past his car and toward Roy's truck. He stayed back, leaning on his car. Close enough to see and hear and intervene if necessary. And close enough to wait. He couldn't hear everything they said, but some of it carried over to him. Roy said something about heading to Poor Richards to meet Darryl. She was pleading with him not to go. Then something she said got him like a shot to the gut. "We just kissed," he heard her say. "It didn't mean anything."

That was all Jim had to hear. It became very clear to him that he should leave. In fact, he felt like he couldn't leave fast enough. He got into his Corolla, looked at the two of them in his rearview mirror a second and pulled off. He wasn't sure where he was going. He just wanted to drive, anywhere. He thought about Philadelphia. It was late, but he had friends there. He could be there by 2 a.m. and crash in the car until the sun came up if he had to. And that's just what he would have done if Michael hadn't stepped out of seemingly no where, waving him down like he had something to tell him.

"Jimbalina, where in the heck are you off to?" he said. "Bad form, my boy. Bad form indeed to walk out on lady luck on Casino Night."

"Michael, please, not now," Jim said, taking a tone he didn't usually take with his boss, however deserving. "I've really got to get going. Early day tomorrow, alright?"

"Understood," Michael replied. "You are a dedicated work…"

Just then Michael looked up and saw Pam and Roy across the lot arguing. Something clicked. He thought back to that night on the cruise, when Jim had confided in him. That always meant a lot to him, that Jim trusted him. And even though he'd gone and spilled the news to the entire office a few days later, he was sure that bond of trust was still solid. Or maybe not solid, but salvageable. Or not. But they were friends, he told himself.

"Jimbo," he said. "Remembered what I told you that night after Captain Jack handcuffed me to the stern of the boat because that crazy fool jumped ship during my motivational speech?"

"Michael, everyone remembers that night. It was epic," Jim said, exasperated.

"I told you to never, ever give up," he said. "Do you remember that?"

"Yes, I remember," Jim said. "Michael, is there anything else, because I've really got to hit the road."

"Nope. You are cleared for exit, sir," Michael said. "But keep that in mind, OK?"

Jim pulled out onto the main road, shaking his head at the bizarre exchange he'd just had and at how it contrasted with what had happened just a few moments before. He tried to block Michael out of his mind and focus on something else, but he couldn't. Everything he'd wanted for so long had been within his grasp, and he lost it yet again. He just wanted to forget everything and go get loaded somewhere. "Never, ever give up," the words rang in his head like they had that night when he got home from the booze cruise.

Dammit, why was he hearing them again? Why now? He'd come so close and he was giving up, taking off because things didn't go the way he wanted them to. Dammit, Michael was right. He was giving up, and at the worst possible time. He owed her more than that, he thought as he swung a hard left across two lanes and pulled a U-turn. Luckily traffic was light. He was on his way to Poor Richard's. He was going to lay things on the line. He didn't know how things would go with Pam, but he had to settle things with Roy first, no matter what.

When he walked inside, he saw Darryl first, at the bar ordering tequila shots.

"What's up my man Halpert?" Darryl greeted him. "Have a shot."

"No thanks," Jim said, leaning in close. "Can we talk a minute?"

He explained what had gone down. Darryl and Roy were tight, but Jim was taking a chance that Darryl was a good guy like he thought. He even admitted that he and Pam had a history, that what happened tonight didn't start tonight.

"Roy's on his way here, and I've got to do what I didn't have the guts to do before," Jim said. "I'm not looking for a fight, but I might find one anyway."

"That you might," Darryl said. "You know you'd be better off just getting the hell out of here now. You really think you're gonna settle anything like this?"

"I don't know, but I owe myself to give it a try," Jim said. "And I probably owe Roy something too."

"You're a good man Halpert," Darryl said, knocking back a shot, "a fool, but a good man. I'll watch your back when Roy gets here."

When Roy walked in a few minutes later, Jim approached him, they exchanged words and Jim did the hardest thing he thought he'd ever do. He stepped aside. Roy had gone from angry to surprised to defeated, and Jim wasn't quite sure why. He was stepping aside, after all, doing the right thing.

"You realize what I'm saying, don't you, Roy?" Jim said. "I'm leaving. I won't be here to mess things up with you guys. I'm out of the way."

"Halpert, something's real clear to me right now that hasn't been clear for a long time," Roy said, after a long pause. "I'm the one who's been in Pam's way all this time. You should go, go find her, talk to her, whatever. Just go, alright."

And as Jim turned toward the door, Roy added, "Go get her."