Chosha's Notes

Konnichiwa! Welcome back to Fading Futures. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this so far, especially to my reviewers: Shauntell, Sofie, Kristy-chan, Aono, Crazy Hyper Lady and Hitokiri Musei. I hope that you enjoy this new chappy! I would love it if you could review and tell me what you think. But enough of my rambles – let the show go on!

Disclaimer: (raises eyebrow) haven't we done this enough times already? Sigh… guess not. Fine… Don't own. Never will. (Glares at solicitors) Happy now?

Last time on Fading Futures:

The Kenshin-Gumi set off for the Festival in Kyoto. Sanosuke had a stupid moment and Shinya and said rooster strike a bet on when Kenshin and Kaoru will finally confess their feelings.

Chapter Fifteen

Star-crossed Past

The ship stood at the harbour, larger than any Shinya had ever seen before. The masts reached to the skies, while a little steam game from the large black funnel. A wooden ramp lent against the side of the ship, where several people were already beginning to board for passage to Kyoto. Shinya grinned and turned to the others. "Well, come on. We can't just stand around here all day. We better get going, or all the good spots on the boat'll be taken."

Ayame and Suzume cheered. "Yay! Come on Ken-nii! Lets go!" And began to drag the helplessly laughing Rurouni towards the boat, while the others followed behind. It didn't take long before everyone had joined the queue to get on board. Kaoru flashed the tickets to the person at the bottom, who bowed them onto the ship. As soon as they were on board, Ayame and Suzume rushed forward to see the top deck.

"Don't go too far!" Kaoru called after them.

"Hai!"

She turned back to the others who were waiting behind her. "Come on!" she said cheerfully, "lets go find our rooms!"

She almost had to run to avoid getting trampled on by everyone else as they rushed forward.

The rooms weren't of a great size, but they were big enough to house at least two people for the journey. Kaoru immediately rushed into one room, which she was to share with Tsubame, Megumi took another to share with the girls which left Shinya, Sanosuke, Kenshin and Yahiko to work out who was sleeping where.

"I'm not sleeping in there with Yahiko." Shinya stated flatly. "Have you heard how loud he snores? I'd be awake all night! Dibs on a room without him in it!"

This lead to a squabble about who would share with the Ko-oni and who would share with Yahiko. After much squabbling, it was decided that Kenshin would share with Shinya. Kenshin had then slipped out before Sanosuke could object. Sanosuke therefore (despite all his protests) would be sharing with Yahiko. Surprisingly, through it all, Yahiko had remained oddly silent.

"Well, now that's all sorted, I'm going to explore a bit," Shinya said, ignoring Sanosuke's spluttering. He turned to Yahiko. "You wanna come with?" Shinya blinked a little as he saw the rather greenish hue on the younger swordsman's face. "Uh, Yahiko? Um, are you alright?"

Yahiko seemed to turn a little greener. "N-no I—" Suddenly he covered his hands over his mouth, his cheeks bulging slightly. Sanosuke's eyes widened as Yahiko began to stumble towards them, eyes scanning the room wildly. Sanosuke squawked and leapt behind Shinya.

"Don't throw up on me, Yahiko-chan!"

Yahiko didn't answer. Shinya was now extremely concerned. Yahiko not responding to the 'chan' jibe was like Kaoru actually being able to cook something that was actually edible. Kami, he really must be sick!

Shinya scanned the room quickly. As luck would have it, Shinya spotted a wooden bucket standing by a corner. As quick as lightning, Shinya swiped the bucket and thrust it towards the struggling boy, who snatched it out of Shinya's hands just as he threw up. Shinya felt faintly green himself, while Sanosuke gagged.

"Kami, we ain't even moving and you're already seasick?" Grumped Shinya, but without the usual spite as he gently rubbed Yahiko's back as he heaved in the bucket. "Perhaps you should come outside? The fresh air'll help you feel better." He suggested.

"You suggest I move like this?" Yahiko grumbled once he emerged from the bucket. Shinya rolled his eyes and sighed.

"You're hopeless…" Shinya sighed. Impish inspiration struck and he looked at the other boy slyly. "…You do realise that it'll get more bumpy as we get into open waters," Shinya added. Yahiko just hurled in answer. Shinya rolled his eyes again with a soft chuckle and patted his back a little more.

"Well, as much as I'd love to stay, there's a ship waiting for me to explore. I'm sure I can leave you in Sano's capable hands."

Sanosuke and Yahiko stared at him in horror. "I ain't lookin' out for 'im while he's spewing his guts up! He'll ruin my shirt (it's the only one I've got!)" Sanosuke exploded, while Yahiko yelled "Wait, you can't leave me with him to look after me! He'd kill me!"

Shinya grinned and bolted, leaving as screaming Sanosuke and a hurling Yahiko behind.

A little later, Shinya wandered over the deck as the boat finally began to move. He couldn't help but think Sanosuke was going to kill him when he saw him next. Yahiko's seasickness would probably get worse in open waters. He amused himself with a mental picture of Sanosuke trying to help Yahiko as he was throwing up all over the place, causing him to laugh a little.

Shinya went to the boat's rails to look out over the water, leaning over the side to see his reflection in the water below. Shinya had never been to Kyoto before, neither in this time or his own, so he was quite looking forwards to it, along with meeting Onmitsu – perhaps the Okashira himself! He was sure there would be few who could brag they had met the leader of the infamous Oniwabanshu. He was sure his history teacher would be having kittens if he found out… if he hadn't sent him to the loony bin for suggesting it first.

Shinya sighed. That was if he would be able to return in the first place. It always came to that. One wrong move and he won't have to think about silly things like that. He wouldn't be thinking at all…

Suddenly he slapped himself on the face, causing one of the passengers to look at him worriedly. Damn it! I have got to stop thinking about it. Sulking'll really help – I think not!

"Hey, Shin-kun." Shinya looked round to find Megumi arriving with Ayame and Suzume close behind. Shinya smiled, glad someone had interrupted his brooding.

"Hey Megumi-san. Have you had a look around the ship? Its amazing!"

"Yes – Ayame-chan and Suzume-chan wanted to show me some of the western things they found. Where are Yahiko-kun and the Ondori?"

Shinya nodded towards the door leading to the lower decks. "Down there the last time I saw 'em. You might want to check Yahiko, though – he's a, um, a little seasick. Plus Ondori'll kill me if I show my face any time soon. I think he'll try to throw the sick-bucket on my head for leaving him with Yahiko while he was throwing up all over the place." Megumi's eyes sparkled and she laughed in her own silly way.

"Serves him right for acting like such a big baby on the train then!"

Shinya laughed. "Say, where's Tanooki-sensei and Kenshin got to anyway?"

"I don't know. Last I saw them, they were heading over towards the front of the boat."

Shinya glanced at Megumi, suddenly picturing Kenshin and Kaoru doing their own version of the mushy 'Titanic' scene. Megumi caught his eye and seemed to be thinking along the same wavelength and they both burst into fits of laughter. "Let's hope they behave themselves." Shinya said through his laughter, which just made them laugh all the more. It took a full ten minutes to get their laughter under control, as when they thought it was safe and they looked over at each other again, it would return full force.

"Shinya! Where the hell are you! I'm gonna kill you for leaving me to play mom to Yahiko-chan!"

Shinya froze, before laughing as he heard the faint "Don't call me chan!" somewhere from the depths of the ship. "Woops!" Shinya said as he caught sight of Sanosuke, almost wreathed in flame, standing in the doorway. "See you!" and he bolted down the deck while Sanosuke ran after him yelling every insult he could think at the violet-eyed boy.

o0o

It was late and the stars were shining softly above in the dark shroud of night, casting eerie shadows in the depths of the Japanese Sea. The sea itself was calm and seemed like smooth onyx under the ship as is sailed, guided by the stars as its only light source. The almost-full moon cast a silvery glow upon the water, creating diamonds scattered over the onyx blackness of the sea. Everything seemed so quiet, even the waves made very little noise against the bow of the ship. It was as if time had stopped. Nothing at all seemed to be moving, or alive, except for one person standing solitarily at the front of the gliding boat, his crimson hair, bleached grey by the silver glow of the moon, flitting softly against his face, brushing his cross-shaped scar like a caress.

Kenshin leaned against the rails, looking out over the endless waters stretching out as far as the eye could see. Kenshin liked this time of night, so quiet and peaceful. Even when he was on his wandering as a rurouni, Kenshin had loved the peace brought on by night. The stars had always fascinated him. For a long time, the stars had been his only companions, seeming to hold answers that Kenshin could only wish to find. So Kenshin had enjoyed watching the stars, as if watching them long enough would encourage them to reveal their hidden secrets.

Of course, the peace this brought was a little hard to find since he had settled into the Kamiya dojo and he had had much more to think about than what the stars' hide. In settling down, Kenshin had found himself in so many situations it was impossible to count; some situations that even held him awe-struck. He could watch the girls for hours and find himself both sad and happy at once. Sad because he had never had the chance to be young, to do the things that they did. Yet, in contrast, he was happy – happy that those sacrifices he had made had given them a life he never got to have. Yes, Kenshin was not alone any more; he had other things to watch than the stars. He smiled softly. No matter what, he wouldn't change what he had now for the world.

"Kenshin…?"

Kenshin glanced round to see Kaoru standing by the door. She wore a pale sleeping yukata, a light blue haori clutched close against the night's chill. Her long, silken hair was braided loosely over one shoulder, almost seeming to shimmer in the silver light of the moon. A soft wind blew, causing loose strands of hair to fall against her face. Gently, she brushed them away with a hand. For a second Kenshin was stunned by how beautiful she looked just then. He swallowed.

"Kaoru-dono? You should be resting, that you should. It's been a busy day for all of us."

Kaoru looked away for a second. "I couldn't sleep" she admitted finally, though she decided not to tell him she had woken up to find Kenshin not in his room and had panicked, thinking he had left again. "Why are you out here?"

Kenshin sighed slightly and looked back over the water again. "Sessha couldn't sleep either…"

Kaoru walked over to the rails and lent against them too. Kenshin didn't complain, or seem uncomfortable by the closeness, so Kaoru relaxed and looked out at the water too, just happy to be near to him. They both stood in comfortable silence, watching the soft ripples in the dark water as the boat continued onwards, almost as if it were flying. Kaoru glanced at Kenshin, who's face was turned upwards, watching the stars with an almost sad expression.

Kaoru fidgeted for a moment, wondering whether to question him. Finally, she gathered up the courage and turned to Kenshin. "Are you alright?"

"…Aa. Sessha was just admiring the stars." The ex-hitokiri replied softly, lowering his gaze to Kaoru and giving her a small smile, so different from his usual Rurouni grin.

"They are very bright tonight, aren't they?" Kaoru said, looking up into the twinkling lights that reminded her of fireflies.

Thank you and… Sayonara…

Kaoru felt the tears welling up in her eyes and quickly averted her eyes, blinking the tears away, before risking a glance at Kenshin once more. Kenshin had looked away again, watching the stars. A slightly pained expression flitted across his face, but was gone before she could fully register it. He was silent for a moment, before he took a deep breath and, in a voice barely above a whisper, said "Back during the Bakumatsu...no one ever had the time to admire the sky..." He said softly, remembering the battles in the streets. "Fighting mostly took place at night, and even then, no one could admire the stars."

Kaoru glanced at him. Kenshin shivered a little and looked away, now down at the water below. Kaoru, though she had no Ki sense like Kenshin did, she could still feel a sorrow claiming him. "It hurts…to remember." She stated softly.

Kenshin almost laughed a little bitterly, "I was a fool, Kaoru-dono. No matter how long passes, those many crimes committed by 'Hitokiri Battosai' can never be repaid." He looked away and bit his lip. "It will never bring them back…"

Kaoru was silent for a moment, before saying softly; "It's not good to deal with it on your own Kenshin. You've never been able to talk about it to anyone, but sometimes talking helps to ease the pain." Kenshin blinked and looked over at her, somehow seeming younger and childlike in the doubt shown clearly in his eyes. Kaoru smiled a little. "I'm not pushing you, Kenshin. I just… I hate seeing you hurt like that. But if it hurts, let me share it. Let me help protect you for once, Kenshin…"

Kenshin looked at her for a second before leaning against the rails, his hair shadowing his bangs. Kaoru almost sagged in disappointment. When Kenshin did that, it usually meant he would not divulge anything.

"…You are braver… than I ever thought you to be… Kaoru-dono…"

Kaoru almost jumped at the unexpected sound, glancing at the redheaded rurouni. He seemed a little paler than before. But Kaoru knew he needed to let it out. Keeping it all bottled inside would only hurt him more. Hadn't ten years of wandering with little hope been enough? Even if it placed her in danger, Kaoru would face it willingly, so long as she would help banish that sadness in those gentle violet eyes.

Kaoru placed her hands on either side of the rurouni's face and turned it to look at her. She was almost startled by the raw emotion she saw there. "I'm not afraid, Kenshin. Please, tell me what happened, why you keep your eyes dry when you look like you need to cry." She brushed her fingers against his left cheek, across the red x marking it. "What happened to you, Kenshin? Whatever it is, I'll stay with you…"

Kenshin stood stock still, sucking in a gasp at the soft fingers against his cheek. He closed his eyes, trying not to lean into the touch and failing miserably as she traced the tender scaring. Kami, no one had ever touched him there. Not since… not since…

Not since she died…

Biting his lip, Kenshin reached up and circled her wrist into his palm, pulling her hand away gently.

"Kaoru-dono" he said, in a strained voice. Kaoru stared into his eyes, noticing the raw pain in them. "Stop it. Please…"

Kaoru bit her lip too. She had pushed him too much. Sadly, she went to take her hand away, but Kenshin held onto it. He seemed to have become smaller all of a sudden, his shoulders slumped slightly. "Sometimes things are better off left hidden…" He whispered.

"But not this, Kenshin" she pressed a little.

"…I know…"

Kaoru squeezed his hand comfortingly, Kenshin returning it half-heartedly. Shakily, Kenshin drew in a breath and began. He told her of the Bakumatsu and how he had killed the man who was the first to have touched him with a sword and how he had come to meet Tomoe. He told her how he had brought the unconscious woman back to the inn, how he had to share a room with her, how he eventually fell in love with her as he helped to hold him together. Told how she became a sheath against his decent into madness. He spoke of the massacre of the Ikedaya by the Bakufu and how he had to go into hiding with Tomoe, and how they had married. He told her of the peace he hadn't known to exist before that he had experienced in Otsu and of how that peace had been shattered. He spoke without stopping and neither did Kaoru interrupt. They both knew that if he stopped, he wouldn't find the strength to continue – to bare his the wounds he had wrapped up tight, and show her the bleeding and torn soul he had hidden for so long.

Stumbling, voice barely audible, he spoke of how he had found out she was working for the Bakufu, yet had decide to save him rather than betray him. Kenshin told how he went after her, how he had been blinded and deafened by explosions and could barely fight. How he had faced the last man with his remaining strength… how she had jumped in front of them…how his sword slid into her chest…

Kenshin couldn't talk any more; his throat had closed off. He could only grip the rails as if it was his lifeline, shaking all over. Kaoru couldn't find any words to say to him. What could you offer as comfort to a man who had lost it all? Weakly, Kenshin managed to say, "Sessha left you once, because he wouldn't let the mistake happen again… Sessha… I wouldn't be able to even stay alive, if it happened again…" He managed to look up at her again, meeting shocked sapphire with tormented violet. "I don't want to loose anyone again… by my own foolishness…"

Kaoru watched as he leaned heavily on the rails again, his knuckles becoming white as he braced himself against metal, his torment hidden behind crimson bangs. Suddenly, she felt stubbornness taking hold and she placed her hand over his. Kenshin seemed to freeze under her fingers. He couldn't help but look up into earnest sapphire. She smiled. "You won't loose us, Kenshin. You won't lose anyone again – I promise" She was not going to let him be hurt any more. Never again. She loved him too much for that.

Kenshin's eyes shone for a moment and a single tear slid down his face. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around him as he leaned his head on her shoulder and at last allowed the tears to fall.

They stood like that for some time, Kenshin leaning against her trembling silently as she rubbed his back gently and crooned softly in his ear. Finally, the tears would come no more and Kenshin pulled away a little. "Gomennasai…" he murmured.

Kaoru shook her head. "No need to apologise. Everyone needs to cry sometimes. Anyway, for all the times I've cried on you, I can't say anything."

Kenshin's eyes softened and he smiled a little, taking her hand in his own, entwining his fingers with her's. With a small sigh, he looked into her eyes once more.

"Kaoru-dono… Thank you…"

Kaoru beamed back at him and, hand in hand, they turned once more to face the moon.

To be continued…

Chosha's notes

I wanted to get a little romance in this chapter and Kenshin opening to Kaoru was one of the few things that desperately needed to happen. As this happened after the anime Kyoto arc, the revenge arc hasn't happened. Therefore, none of the Gumi know of Tomoe (except for Shinya, but that could be because he is working for her!). So, with that, it had to be told and this is my version of it. I didn't want to do a flashback (it'd take way too long) and I didn't want to re-word it into Kenshin telling Kaoru his life-story. For those who want this in detail, check out the revenge arc in the manga, or in the manga translation's on the Internet. Alternatively try the OVAs – though I'm shocked if you don't know the Tomoe-Kenshin stories. I've already told it in Tomoe's POV earlier on in this story (chapter seven - operation: get-together) so I thought it wouldn't be much point to repeat myself. The stuff before this was my weak attempts at comedy again, but it was needed, as it wouldn't explain how they got on and what was done. Plus I had to mention Yahiko's seasickness just out of fun.

Anything I missed? Questions needed answering? Comments wanted to be given? I'd love it if you made Chosha-chan very happy by reviewing and I will show my gratitude by answering.

Next time on Fading Futures:

The Gumi finally arrive in Kyoto, where they finally see Misao and Aoshi again, along with a few other surprise meetings. Next episode: Reunions.

Ja ne for now minna-san! See you next time!

Chosha Kurenai xXx