The Diego Diaries: Clubbin' (dd8 363)
=0=On the way to the jailhouse
Ratchet sat on the bench in the paddy wagon next to his amma, Docker. She was leaning back with her arms crossed and disgust playing across her pretty face. He grinned. "How long are you going to be mad?"
"For a while," she said as she glared at a pair of mini-con mechs sitting across from her wearing cuffs. Docker wasn't but that was a courtesy from the Watchman who was in her district and who had been helped with his ada's situational dementia. He refused to cuff her.
"These two are going to be going to Magistrate's Court with you," Ratchet said as he stared at the two mechs, both of which wanted to be anywhere else.
"They need to go," Docker said. "They caused a fight in my district before they came to The Crystal Ball. Drift told me so. You can't pick a fight in my district and walk away from it."
Ratchet grinned. "You picked on the wrong amma."
They trundled onward through the cities until they came to the jailhouse at Cultural Center Road. Pulling in, they parked by the door, then the vehicle doors opened. A mech leaned in, then grinned at Docker. "Time to go, Amma," he said.
Everyone inside rose to follow him as two more vans drove up with the rest of the haul. Docker was the only femme, the only elder and thereby deserved more courtesy according to the big mechs who were arresting everyone. They entered, then paused before the intake officer. It was Moos again.
"Ratchet … did you get arrested again?" Moos asked with a chuckle. "Frankly, it wouldn't be First Friday without one of you here."
Ratchet gave him a dazzler. "Actually, its my amma."
Everyone peered downward toward the ground to catch the dazzling smile of a very small but intensely dynamic femme. She waggled her digits back at him.
"Well, this is new," Moos said. "I'm used to processing your whole squad and not just your amma. Are you going to stay or what? I don't see you on the charge sheet."
"Sonny is going back to the Squad. They're going to do the town. Expect them later on in the evening," Docker said as the mechs chuckled.
"Good to know," Moos said. "Name and such, Amma."
"I am Docker of Uraya. I am an electrical engineer and weaver. I am the legislative representative to District 1 and 1A. I only say that because it still sounds pretty to my audials and not because I expect special treatment. Ask my Sonny."
Ratchet grinned. "None. No treatment beyond the normal. She won her seat without telling me. I'm still fragged off. My amma is a stand up femme. Bread and water like everyone else."
Mechs chuckled as the matron, a rollicking funny femme named Lita walked out to take Docker where she needed to go. "DOCKER!"
"LITA!"
They hugged.
"What are you doing here?" Lita asked.
"I was out on the town with the Squad when there was a fight at The Crystal Ball. It disturbed a lot of people so I helped subdue a couple of mechs," she said as she glanced at two slightly battered mini-con mechs standing behind the group in cuffs. More were coming.
They stared everywhere but at Docker and the matron.
"My amma is a stand up femme. Did I ever tell you how she helped fire bomb a club house for a road rage gang that tried to move into our district? My amma makes the most amazing time delayed Molotov cocktails you ever did see and her aim?" Ratchet made a chef's kiss. "Perfection," he said through a giant smile. "I only tell you because the statutes of limitations have run out."
Huge laughter greeted that as Drift and Springer along with the boys walked in to take in the scene.
"Amma, I don't like that you're going to be here," Drift said.
"Don't worry about me, boys," Docker said. "I'm a partisan and warrior for the revolution."
Ratchet smiled proudly. "My amma is a commie."
An internet check brought more laughter.
"Where do you live, Amma?" Moos said.
She told him. She also told him about her bond, Appa Ratchet who was a stand up mech and the delight she had in sharing a nice home with her best friends, Chan and Corr. She told about raising up a child as wild ass as Ratchet and how she was giving back by being a very active and dedicated district representative. She also informed them that she would head one of the committees that would be interviewing Senior Autobots about the report on the colony's attack.
Ratchet could barely contain his pride.
By the time she was finished she turned to Ratchet. "Hoist one for me, Sonny. Lita and I have some catching up to do." With that, she linked her arm with the matron and the two walked into the jail to find a nice cozy cell for Docker. It was silent a moment after they left.
"What a great femme your amma is, Ratchet. She can throw a fire bomb well?" Moos asked as the others stared at him with something that faintly looked like envy.
"My amma could put one through a keyhole at fifty paces. She made sure that there was never a gangster anywhere around our neighborhood that had a functional window," Ratchet said.
HUGE laughter greeted that, then everyone turned toward the mini-cons who stepped back one step when they did.
"Okay, tell me about yourself, boys. Mind you, you're going to be in the same general building as Amma Docker. It might due for you to use them starting now," Moos said.
They explained who they were. Their defacto spokesman, Rocket was a bit on the hilarious side as all mini-cons were, defiant even slightly to the tall slaggers bagging him for a cell. He'd managed to get into three brawls in three different places, something that he'd owned up to because of mini-con pride before a mini-com granny who apparently was a commie took him down. He vowed when he was ready to tell this story to one and all after his release, he would leave that part out.
They were dragged off to a cell when the paperwork was done.
Ratchet and the boys walked outside to the vans parked nearby. "Where's the horses?"
"At The Crystal Ball. Need a lift?" Springer asked.
Ratchet laughed. "Sure. I never had a police van drive me back to the scene of the crime before."
They loaded up and were gone in seconds.
=0=At The Crystal Ball waiting on a curbside
"I don't like the idea of Docker going to jail by herself." Edict fussed as they watched the show of Watchmen and two femmes take out those arrested for fighting. This group would go to the Jail in Iacon.
"The night is young," Prowl said. He was still blotto but holding up in the worried gaze of his ada and amma. It was a new thing to be this drunk and fake sobriety. Usually, he just didn't give a frag but they were unnerved by Docker being hauled off a prone mini-con mech and carried outside. It didn't even help that it was Drift who did it.
Running outside themselves, they saw the discussion about her status, Docker's insistence to be treated like anyone else, her demand that she be taken to 'the big house' and her getting into the van. It was unnerving to everyone including Springer and Drift. Ratchet hopped in to go with her. Away they want in a rush.
The van pulled up and Ratchet stepped out. They gathered around him and the boys.
"What happened to Docker?" Joon asked.
"She's in the jail. You should have seen her. She even helped me tell them about the times she helped fire bomb rage gang clubhouses," Ratchet said with inordinate pride.
"I remember that. I helped her make them, me and Ratch. Chan was not there because he was working but it was a good thing. He would have beaned all of us on the helm," Corr said with a chuckle. "My sweet mech is a gentle person. What now, Sonny?"
"Well, Amma's last words as she walked into the 'black hole of Calcutta' was to go out and get slag faced for her," Ratchet said.
Turbine snickered. "Sounds like her. I suppose we need to honor her last free wishes and then sober up in time to be there in her joor of need in Magistrate's Court in the morning."
Everyone was finally in agreement so off they went on the Metro toward Tyger Pax and the nightlife there which included bowling, dancing and clubbing. It was a younger group frequenting the fun given the demographics of the city but it was also more prone to violence because of it. That suited all of them just fine.
That is all of them that were drunk. Kestrel and Stealth were going with sharp optics on everyone.
=0=Hotel, dudes, bros, beer, news, slag face
They were feeling no pain as they alternated between beer pong and the news. Fights were being had all over the colony but the police were having only marginal luck in catching the little slaggers. The mini-cons were apparently now sober and would fly like the wind at the first sound of a siren. It was probably agreed that they were using a police scanner.
Raptor decided to advise the cops. Cutting everyone in, he called Springer. :SPRINGER!:
=0=Springer hoofing it literally toward Pax
He nearly fell out of the saddle so startled was he to hear Raptor's voice. :WHAT!:
:We've come to the conclusion that the little slaggers are using a police scanner: -Raptor
:We sort of came to that conclusion a while back. Amma Docker is in the jail. We gave her a chance to repent but she didn't: Drift said as he listened in.
Raptor laughed. :She never does anything she's not prepared to do time for. Did you know she's got a real talent for fire bombing? If baseball ever takes off here I want her on my team:
Springer grinned. :I heard she was a real fire cracker. Did you see what I did there?:
:I did. Dad jokes suit you. Your baby is sleeping the sleep of the gods by the way. Where's the Squad?:
:Heading for Tyger Pax to club, drink and get arrested. I'll keep ya informed: Springer said as they slowed to a halt before a bar that had a brawl going that spilled into the streets.
:I count on it. Raptor out: Raptor said, then he grinned at the others watching one or several of him depending on their beer to sober ratio. "All is well."
It would go like that for a while.
=0=TBC 02-09-2022
ESL
chef's kiss: when a cook puts there fingers to their lips, then kisses them dramatically to indicate perfection achieved. Chef's kiss.
statutes of limitations: sometimes when a crime has been committed you have only so much time to catch the criminal before its too late. Some of these rules and laws are terribly controversial and some are being changed. For instance, if memory serves me there's several money crimes that if the time passes without an arrest then the criminals can keep the money. Assault crimes of all types used to be on limited times but many are being changed. Sometimes it takes time to either remember or get the nerve to pursue justice for your hurts. I salute anyone who does.
Black Hole of Calcutta: A prison used back in the late 1700's that was involved in the war between the British and the Bengalese Nawab. It was about 4.3m x 5.50m (13 x 18 feet) in size and depending on who you listen to 120 of 146 British and Indian soldiers and workers died in that space of suffocation or heat stroke. Modern historians say of 64 in the hole 43 died. Its so infamous and memorable any place that is terrible, small and inhospitable is said to be a 'black hole of Calcutta'.
demographics: Data about something that usually means stats on people, places or things and how they affected each other and such like that. "The demographics of Arctapus's house were old, dogs and cats." People use this sort of thing to plan and to see how a place etc. is changing or will change.
