"Slow Hands"

A/N: Yeah, short chapters are my thing I guess.

Disclaimer: Lyrics by Interpol.

Ashley's POV

Yeah but nobody searches,
Nobody cares somehow.
When the loving that you've wasted,
Comes raining from a hapless cloud.

"That was wonderful," I whispered sweetly into her ear. A goofy grin found its way onto my flushed face.
"Yeah." Spencer replied sounding far away, like she was lost in a sea of thoughts. I turned to look at her, frowning slightly as I did so. She'd been acting strange since the shower. Even then, she was being uncharacteristically aggressive. I was beginning to get worried.

"What's wrong?" I asked, searching for an answer in her eyes. But all I saw was solid blue, with no trace of what she was feeling. I sighed, getting up from my bed. Spencer remained silent, staring forward, almost like a zombie. "Did I do something wrong?" I became hysterical as I asked this, jumping onto the bed and shaking her. I was determined to get an answer, anything to explain her particularly odd behavior.

"This was a bad idea." Spencer said quickly, gathering up her clothes from the floor and hurriedly getting dressed. I grabbed her by the arm, not wanting her to leave.

"What was a bad idea?" I questioned softly, taking her hand. I couldn't help feeling a little hurt when she jerked her hand away, shaking her head violently.
"All of this. Trying to prove I'm not," Her voice trailed off before she could say it. "By doing this with you, I was trying to prove to myself that these feelings weren't real." She fought past me, running down the stairs like a maniac. I followed, stopping her again at the front door.

I myself may look upon your face,
Disappear in the sweet, sweet gaze,
See the living that surrounds me,
Dissipate in a violent waste.

"And are they? Are these feelings real?" I asked desperation apparent in my voice. She refused to answer. She shoved me out of the way, opening the door and disappearing into the dark night. I stood there in the doorway, so completely lost. I had done absolutely nothing wrong. Spencer came to my house, and she was all over me. Now it sounded like she regretted our experience.
I closed the door with a sigh, making my way to the couch. I settled onto it, closing my eyes. It had been amazing. Not mindless, meaningless like I was used to. It meant something. I knew I was in love with Spencer and making sure that was known to her? Well, it felt right. She was using all of this to prove to herself and me as well, that she wasn't gay.

Then I realized it. Spencer felt something. She felt something real and that scared her. So she did the only thing she could. She ran away. She wouldn't even admit her feelings to me. It was frustrating, but at the same time, I knew exactly what Spencer was going through. I'd been through this before, denying the unavoidable. Spencer liked girls and she needed to accept that. Now she was probably going to wonder if she liked guys at all.

I must admit, I myself was curious. Was she gay, or was she bisexual? I was hoping for all-out lesbian, because at least then, I'd have less competition. I couldn't help but laugh at myself. Wow, I'm kind of pathetic, aren't I? With a shrug, I returned to my room, putting on some soft indie rock to play in the background while I slept. Turning the light off, I settled into my comfortable bed, the scent of Spencer's perfume still lingering in the air like an unmade promise.

I submit my incentive is romance.
I watched the pole dance of the stars.
We rejoice because the hurting is so painless,
From the distance of passing cars.

I slept for what seemed like weeks, and when I awoke, it was the afternoon. I had slept only until two o'clock PM, which wasn't late considering I went to bed around two AM. Thinking about it for a moment, I realized I had slept for 12 hours. Was that a long time? I had been drifting around in a dreamland of sorts, and it was peaceful. In my dreamland, things were wonderful. Everyone was my friend, and anything I ever wanted, I had. But then I woke up.

Back to the reality of your best friend hating you, along with half of the rest of the world. Even I was starting to hate myself, but I was certain exactly why. I knew that I had to set things right again, otherwise I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I traced the lines on my palm with the end of my finger, sadly remembering the feeling of Spencer's fingers intwined with mine. To be that way again was something I longed for. I was becoming almost obsessive. I was obsessed with love and fascinated with every thought in Spencer's head. I was fascinated with the way her eyes danced and how her hair seemed to flow perfectly onto her shoulders. I needed her. I craved her...

But I am married to your charms and grace,
Just be crazy like the good old days.
You make me wanna pick up a guitar,
And celebrate the myriad ways that I love you.

A/N: I'm planning to feature other characters from now on!