"Show Me Love"

A/N: This will be the start of POV switching. I already have the plot worked out through the entire story, and there are going to be 10 chapters in all.

Disclaimer: Lyrics by t.A.T.u.

Ashley's POV

This was an accident,
Not the kind where sirens sound.
Never even noticed,
We're suddenly crumbling.

I decided to speak with her the next day at school. At least then, she couldn't avoid me. I got up that morning, making sure I looked extra-nice. It couldn't hurt. With a glance in the mirror, I started the car. I drove by Spencer's house, stopping at the curb and staring at it. It was intimidating, just sitting there, and practically mocking me. With a deep breath, I parked the car and walked up to the front door. Maybe she hadn't left yet and she would let me give her a ride to school. But that was highly doubtful. I knocked on the door, and waited for a minute. The door opened, Mrs. Carlin standing there. She gave me a disapproving look, putting on one of her fake smiles.

"Hello Mrs. Carlin, I was wondering if Spencer needed a ride to school." I forced myself to smile as well, even though my smile wasn't real either. Then she looked victorious.
"Oh I'm sorry Ashley, but Spencer just left. She got a ride with Aiden." As she said this, my stomach dropped. She was with Aiden. Well that was just fabulous. With a sigh, I looked up at Mrs. Carlin.

"Alright, thanks anyway." I walked away before she could say anything else, and I could feel her staring at my retreating back. I cursed to myself as I climbed back into the car, putting it in drive and continuing on my way to school. I listened to Marilyn Manson on the stereo, putting my windows down and turning the music up. I was feeling scorned. I was jealous because I knew Spencer wanted to figure things out. Of all people, I didn't want her to figure things out with Aiden. Anyone but Aiden.

Tell me how you've never felt,
Delicate or innocent.
Do you still have doubts that,
us having faith makes any sense.

When I went to my second period class, I knew that Spencer was going to be there. I deliberately took a seat beside of her, and as she got up to change seats, the bell rang.
"In your seats, class." The teacher bellowed loudly. I could see the annoyance on Spencer's face, and I smiled. Now she couldn't ignore me. Not when I was going to be whispering in her ear the whole class period.
"I need to talk to you." I whispered loudly. She turned around, staring at me. She frowned.

"I don't want to get in trouble," She said softly, turning back around again. Just as I was about to tap her on her shoulder, she glanced over at me. "Write me a note, okay? I'll write back, I promise. I just don't want to get in trouble for talking." I gave her a smile when she said this, and she smiled back. I could feel my heart flutter.

Spence-
I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I know I keep doing that but I really do mean it. If I made you do anything you didn't want to, then I apologize. I wasn't meaning to put you under any pressure. I just want us to be friends again. The past can be the past, okay? Forgive me, please.

I gave her the note, and watched her as she read it. I waited impatiently as she scribbled a response back to me.

Ash-
You don't have to apologize. You didn't do anything. I'm sorry that I took things too far. I led you on and that wasn't right. I want to be friends too.
Aiden asked me out today...I said yes.

I read her response. I liked it until the end. She was dating Aiden? I felt like throwing up. That was it, I hated him and there was no changing that. Looking up at Spencer for a moment, I wrote a quick response.

S-
Glad you want to be friends. That's good for you & Aiden by the way.

I handed Spencer the note and laid my head down on the desk. I was beginning to get a headache, and it was probably because thinking of her with anyone else made me physically sick. What was about a thousand times worse was, I was almost certain that Spencer didn't have any feelings for Aiden. I thought she liked me, at least that's what she led me to believe. Did she not realize that I would be jealous? Maybe she was doing this deliberately to MAKE me jealous. Whatever it was, it was working.

I understood her position with trying to figure out her sexuality, but this was just too much to put me through. Not to mention how awful it was if she was using Aiden like that. After all, he used to be my friend. With a silent groan, I closed my eyes; ready to fall asleep so I'd at least not have to think about this any longer.

Tell me nothing ever counts

Lashing out or breaking down

Still somebody loses 'cause

There's no way to turn around

Spencer's POV

Earlier that day, Aiden and I had kissed. It was completely by accident. It happened, and then he asked me out. I said yes. He was avery good-looking boy, and a very nice one, but I hated this. Wed only been dating since this morning and I already wanted to break up with him.

The look on Ashley's face when I told her that he and I were dating was such a horrible look. It made me feel awful. I knew that Ashley liked me, and I knew she would get jealous. Maybe I wanted her to get jealous, but I didn't want her to feel hurt. I wasn't sure if she realized exactly what I felt for her or not. I acted so stupid, I doubted she did know. I didn't know why I had to make things so complicated. So I liked a girl. Why did it have to be such a big deal, anyway?

I was glad when Ashley started talking to me again. I was afraid she was mad at me. I'd been pretending I was mad at her, but I was just avoiding her because I was afraid of my feelings. I was still afraid, and I didn't know what to do but hopefully I would figure that out in time. It was frustrating to know that she liked me, and to know that I liked her back. It was frustrating that I couldn't just kiss her and be her girlfriend. The world was a sad place and though people at school might not react too badly, I knew my family wouldn't have the best reaction. Actually, it was mainly my mother and Glen I was worried about. They were the judgmental ones. Especially my mother, she was very religious and I knew she would condemn me for this. It was so scary because I was so desperate for her approval.

As soon as the bell rang for class, I began talking to Ashley. I told her that I was really glad to have her as a friend, and I appreciated her even though I didn't always act like it. I made a mental note to break up with Aiden as soon as I possibly could. I knew he would be angry, but I would rather not keep up this lie for any longer. I felt terrible for lying to him, I felt terrible for lying to Ashley, and I felt even worse about lying to myself. I still wasn't sure what to do about Ashley. I thought I liked her, but I wasn't sure. Maybe it was just the fact that she was gay, and it made me wonder what it would be like if I was.

Staring at your photograph,

Everything now in the past.

Never felt so lonely I,

Wish that you could show me love.