Warning: depression, suicidal thoughts- very mild, but they're there. Canonical Death

Goodbye to the International Wizarding School Championship

Durmstrang

Theme: Season Two focused on places within the wizarding world, but we never visited the dark island of Azkaban.

Write about someone who is imprisoned, figuratively or literally.

Prompt:

[Word] Goodbye

Special Rule Season 2 Round 5: Incorporate colour and the specified meaning into your story.

Grey, the colour of depression

Word count: 1167

Author's Note: I don't own HP and also the lines used from Deathly Hallows belong to Rowling and not me.

This story is for the end of IWSC and I would like to say a huge thank you to all my teammates and my two headmistresses from all across four seasons. Thank you for a wonderful time. And also thank you to people who were not my teammates but who made it fun like my dear Jenna.


You must kill me.

Dumbledore's words haunted Severus every night since that blasted night when he'd discovered that the Headmaster had put on a cursed ring. What possessed Severus to agree? To do as Albus asked?

Of course, the response was that he could see his point. He'd want to go from the wand of a friend too. Ha. Friend. Albus was the only person he considered anything close to a friend, but he didn't know if the old man did too. After all, Albus Dumbledore didn't lack friends of people to admire him. Unlike Severus, who soon would have to say goodbye to the only person who remotely understood him.

So Severus had given his word.

"Thank you, Severus . . ."

Thank you for what? For killing him? Severus let out a roar of despair. Albus had saved him from going to Azkaban, and he'd been grateful ever since. For being imprisoned with the Dementors would have killed him for sure. But then he hadn't known that Albus had his own prison for Severus. One that was in ways much worse than the Dementor-filled island.

Severus was a prisoner of his own word. He had promised to do as Dumbledore wanted, and he was stuck doing so. Being at Hogwarts was his own personal prison of hell. He didn't like teaching children. They were annoying brats that had no respect for learning. And he for sure was not a good teacher. He probably was the worst of them all. And yet… he couldn't leave. Not only did he owed it to Dumbledore to stay… In the beginning that had been the only reason, but now… now he also owed it to his Slytherins, Slytherins who counted on him to protect them.

Sometimes, Severus wanted to end it all. Every day was miserable. Each day was worse than the previous one. The grey walls of the castle were turning darker and darker as time passed. It was as if Hogwarts could read his feelings. Severus just wanted for it to end. For him to be at peace.

He was a spy, and he was supposed to be alert. Especially now when there was so much at stake. The Dark Lord could never know that Dumbledore had chosen his way to go out of this world. Severus couldn't afford to break apart as he wanted. At times, he couldn't get out of his bed without occluding so his feelings and emotions would be cut off. If he didn't feel then he couldn't hurt. And everything hurt when he did feel. He couldn't even truly say goodbye to Dumbledore before he killed him. No one could. Severus didn't know when exactly that fateful day would be. Could be tonight. Could be tomorrow. But he knew he had to do it.

And just like that, pain became unbearable. Severus looked at the grey walls of his office. They all seemed to be closing in. Taunting him. They knew he had no escape. If he didn't kill his only friend, someone else would. And what would be left would be disappointment. Could he live with the idea that he let down his only friend? No, Severus couldn't. The thought alone suffocated him. But he also couldn't live with the idea that he'd be the one to end it. He didn't want to. Maybe he'd live just enough to fulfil his duties. Then he'd be at peace. His head was spinning, a series of conversations coming at the front of his mind.

"ENOUGH!" he shouted and all the voices in his head stopped. The grey walls stopped from moving and pushed back into their natural boundaries. He could breathe now in his prison.

The moment however wasn't to last. Flitwick burst into the office, slamming the grey door into the wall.

"Death Eaters! Hogwarts is under attack!"

Severus' heart dropped. This was it. The night he'd feared. The night where everything would change. He'd kill his only friend and they hadn't even said goodbye. But he can't afford to cry.

"Quick, the Astronomy tower…"

Severus didn't let Fillius finish his sentence. With a swift flick of his wand, the Charms professor collapsed to the ground and with him, the beginning of the end began for Severus.

He was about to join another prison. He'd be stuck with the Death Eaters once he executed the plan.

Tonight he'd been warned what might happen, but he hadn't wanted to believe it. Severus pushed back at the tears threatening to fall. He couldn't afford to cry. He occluded, and suddenly the wall of sadness and emotions just faded away. A distant sort of memory that he knew existed, but he couldn't feel anymore.

He even had the witnesses to his betrayal. Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood. Worse, Harry Potter, who was stuck on the Astronomy Tower.

There were so many Death Eaters present. Could he truly pull it off? Bellatrix and Fenrir, Amycus Carrow and Draco could be heard. Bellatrix was as impatient as ever, and Severus knew he couldn't stall it. Albus had stalled enough.

He could feel his thoughts slowly slipping away replaced by one singular thought: killing Albus Dumbledore. After all, the Headmaster was right. Draco couldn't do it. The teenager was already swimming to the pits of despair. Murder would sent him over the edge. Edge Severus had fallen on a long time ago.

"We've got a problem, Snape," Amycus said, "the boy doesn't seem able —"

Of course he's not able to. He wasn't a killer, not like Severus.

He looked at Albus again, his resolve weakening. Could he really do it? Then Albus sealed his own fate.

"Severus . . ."

Dumbledore had never pleaded for anything before in front of Severus. And yet now he was doing so, begging to be killed. Ensuring Severus couldn't escape the promise he'd given. All for the 'Greater Good,' right?

His voice however was firm, not pleading. The blue eyes stared at Severus as he took one step forward and another one, pushing Malfoy out of the way as the three others stepped aside.

"Severus . . . please . . ." Albus spoke again, this time more commanding. Although Severus wasn't sure anyone else noticed.

"Avada Kedavra!"

His body went backwards across the rail.

Goodbye old man. I hope you're happy.

That night, after all was said and done, Severus went to Spinner's end. The walls of his childhood house were to be another prison for him. He couldn't leave. Dark Lord's orders. He had to stay put until the Ministry fell. He'd almost prefer to be in Azkaban. After all, he had no happy memories that the Dementors could feed on. What else could they do to him? If he was to be kissed, he'd be free.

Alone, Severus let out a cry of despair and slumped on the floor, his back on the couch. He wanted to cry, but there were no tears left. All he could do was stare into nothingness at the grey wall in front of him.