"Do
You Have a Map, Because I'm Lost in Your Eyes"
A/N:
Just a note, in this chapter point of views will be switching back
and forth, just like the last one (and in all future chapters). Also
there is a surprise in store for you guys!
Disclaimer:
Lyrics by Hawthorne Heights.
Spencer's
POV
And
if tomorrow should be the last day I could ever tell you.
I was in
love with your smile, in love with your eyes.
Tomorrow will be
a-okay, just to say I loved you way too much.
I
stood in the doorway of my brother's room. His back was facing me,
and it looked like he was doing homework. That wouldn't surprise
me.
"Clay?" I called out, voice uncertain. I really needed to
talk to him. Well, I needed someone to talk to in general. I didn't
want to talk to Ashley, especially since it was about her. I
obviously couldn't talk to my mother, and my dad was at work. Clay
understood and he never judged, unlike my other brother. Glen was a
jerk and I usually couldn't stand him.
Clay turned around,
giving me a smile. "Yes?" I walked into his room, taking a seat
on his bed. I gazed around the room. It was decorated in dark navy
blues, and I thought it was so totally Clay. I looked back to
him.
"Sorry to cut into your 'fun' time, but I kinda need
someone to talk to."
"I'm all ears." Clay said his grin widening. I think it made him feel good that I trusted him and was willing to talk to him about personal things like this. I smiled back at him, feeling unsure as I did so. I wasn't sure exactly how I was going to say this.
"Well, you know I'm dating Aiden, as of yesterday anyway. I can't help feeling like it's a mistake. I think he's attractive and everything but I just don't LIKE him, not that way. I'm so confused. I was only dating him to prove something. I don't enjoy kissing him, and I think I have feelings for Ashley." I began, saying the last part quietly. Clay gazed at me thoughtfully for a moment before he spoke.
"Why
would you date Aiden if you don't like him? That's stupid, and you're
just hurting Ashley by doing that. You DO like Ashley, I know you do.
I see the way you look at her," He replied in a teasing voice,
wrapping me in a hug. "You have to tell her. And soon."
"Maybe."
I mumbled, feeling unsure. I wasn't used to putting myself out
there. Though I liked Ashley, it didn't mean I wanted to throw away
everything to be with her. Who even said I wanted to be with her?
With a nod, I left Clay's room, returning to the room that had
become the wondering room.
I
should have said anything instead of making no sense at all...
Why
was I chasing falling stars instead of you?
Why was I breaking my
own heart instead of embracing yours?
Ashley's
POV
I
was sitting at the lunch table minding my own business, when Madison
sat down beside of me. She had a smile on her face, one that seemed
real, and I couldn't help but be a little afraid.
"Hey." She
greeted casually, and I stared up at her in confusion. Since when did
she act civil to me? She and I had been on bad terms for awhile now.
That wasn't surprising considering all the things we've been
through.
"Hey, Madison." I replied, putting on a smile as
well. I looked at her, noticing she was wearing less makeup than
usual. It reminded me of the old days when we used to be really close
and she wasn't a stuck up cheerleader snob like she was now.
"Is there something wrong? I noticed that you've been looking a little worn around the eyes lately. Anything you need to talk about?" Madison asked me, sounding sincere. She had a concerned look on her face that made me want to tell her exactly what was bothering me. I don't know what it was, but she seemed different today.
"Yes,
actually, but don't freak out. This isn't going to be a surprise
to you anyway," I began, biting my lip. I wasn't sure I should
tell her; because she had such a big mouth she would probably blab to
everyone. "I like Spencer." I said this part under my breath, and
I saw the fake shock cross Madison's face.
"No way." She
grinned, setting her hand on top of mine. I nodded, feeling
uncomfortable. "Well that's interesting, but you could find
someone SO much better than her. She's just a little girl, Ashley.
You need someone who can take care of you." She said this in a
voice I hadn't heard in a long time. I swallowed roughly, shrugging
and pulling my hand away from her grasp.
"I would kiss you right now if my reputation wouldn't be in danger after doing so," Madison said quickly with a mischievous grin. "But I can't. Let me tell you how much I wish I could. Tonight there will be no holding back. Meet me at the park at 11 if you want to." She stood, walking away. I watched her as she walked, sighing to myself. Not this again. We'd already been through this, we'd already had a fling, and I wanted that to stay in the past. Now I had to find a way to break it to her.
Spencer's
POV
I
saw Ashley in the hallway later that day, and decided to talk to her.
She and I were already speaking again because of yesterday. I wanted
to spend some time with her to figure out my feelings, and if I
figured them out, I would tell her sooner or later. I strode over to
Ashley, waving as I did so.
"Hey!" I said, stopping in front
of her and letting myself relax a little. She gave me a smile in
return, and my stomach did a little flutter.
"Hey, yourself."
Ashley replied, sitting against the wall. She pulled herself into an
Indian style position, and I sat beside of her. "How has your day
been?" She asked me, pulling a powdered donut out of her backpack
and taking a bite. I shrugged.
"It's been okay. Yours?" I answered, grabbing the donut out of her hand and taking a bite as well. She looked at me accusingly.
"I was eating that, thank you." Ashley punched me in the arm, and I reacted, screaming 'ouch!' as loud as I could. "Oh, that didn't hurt. Besides, you can eat this stupid donut, I don't care." She paused, biting her lip thoughtfully. "My day has been really lame actually. I can't seem to be able to concentrate on anything." I gazed at her as she said this, wondering what hidden underlying message this statement had. She was probably hinting that she was thinking about me. I knew her feelings for me but I knew that was something I couldn't live up to. I tried not to look her in the eye.
"Why's that?" I questioned in return, bracing
myself for her answer. She was typically honest in everything she
said, and I was ready for her to mention me. But maybe I was being
too self-centered in assuming that.
"No reason." Ashley stated
quickly with a grin. I knew that she was lying, and I was sort of
glad she was too. I settled my head onto her shoulder, sighing with
happiness.
Ashley's
POV
I
felt like screaming with joy. Spencer had her head on my shoulder. I
watched as her eyes fluttered shut, and I instinctively pulled my
arms around her. Madison walked by, giving me a dirty look. I let
Spencer rest there for a moment, then I tapped her on the shoulder.
She opened her eyes, looking at me in the most adorable way. She had
such big blue eyes, and they were beautiful. I smiled.
"Time for
class," I got up and she followed suit. We parted ways, and I knew
I wouldn't see her again until I took her home. The rest of my
classes seemed to take forever to pass. By the time they had, I was
excited to see Spencer again. I walked into the gymnasium, spotting
her on the bleachers. I sat there beside of her. She was listening to
her headphones but she didn't hear me because the music was too
loud. I lifted the headphones off of her head, putting them on. She
protested, but I ignored her, trying to figure out what she was
listening to.
"What is this?" I asked her, bobbing my head
to the beat. She laughed at me, snatching the headphones back and
turning off her CD player.
"The Giant Drag, they're a pretty
good band. The song you were listening to is called Cordial
Invitation. Funny isn't it, I'm the one schooling you on music now."
Spencer replied with a smile, getting up from the bleachers and
dragging me outside with her. I ran past her, towards my car. I
opened the door and held it there, waiting for her to get inside. "Oh
how gentlemanly of you." She joked, getting inside. I closed the
door with a smirk and got into the drivers' seat, starting the car
and driving away.
I decided not to drive Spencer home first thing. "I want to show you something," I had said. I drove to a spot that I discovered a few days ago, stopping the car and getting out. She followed me, wondering what I was taking her to see. It was a building. One side of it was painted completely white, and people had painted on it. It was a beautiful collage of art, a showcase to the unknown artists of LA. I loved it because there was no way of knowing who painted this, and it was a romantic thought to think about it. They could be anyone you know, and that wass the beauty of it. You don't know, but yet you could see things through their eyes. I felt like that wall helped me get to know people that I would have never met. I wanted to paint something on it, but I never came up with an idea good enough for it. One day, I would.
Spencer gazed at the wall in amazement. She laced her fingers in between mine, and I could feel my entire body tingling.
Why
was I chasing falling stars instead of you?
Why was I breaking my
own heart instead of embracing yours?
Spencer's
POV
It might sound stupid, but I was so overcome with emotion when I saw that collage. It was breathtaking, an artistic display in such an ordinary place. I'd seen graffiti before, but this wasn't graffiti. It was ART. I might have gotten a little carried away when I grabbed her hand, but it felt wonderful to do that again. I looked up at her, and she looked at me. I felt my stomach drop. I had to tell her my feelings.
"Ashley,
I need to tell you something." I said this urgently, squeezing her
hand and leaning up against the wall, pulling her closer to me as I
continued. "I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry that I keep
doing it over and over again. Aiden is my boyfriend," I paused, not
sure of what exactly to say next. "But not for much longer. I hate
it being like this, I wish people could just accept us."
"Us?"
She interrupted quizzically, shoving her free hand into the pocket of
her jeans. "Since when has there been an us?"
"That's
not what I mean. I mean us as people. What we are. I'm afraid of
their reaction if they know that I'm not-like them. Why do you have
to make this so complicated?" I sighed.
"I like you." As I
said this, I let go of her hand.
Ashley laughed, hugging me. "I'm glad. I think it's time I take you home." I nodded as she said this. We got back into her car, and she drove me home. I sat in the passenger seat, staring over at her. We shared a smile, and she gave me a kiss on the cheek. I blushed. I got out of the car, walking up to my front door, and going inside. I could feel her eyes on me the entire time. I must say, it felt nice.
Just
remember, to save me one last dance.
And please try to close your
eyes.
Ashley's
POV
I wasn't at all excited about tonight, but I had to do something. I couldn't just blow her off because that would give her a reason to be even crueler. I took a deep breath, pulling my car into the park. I checked my watch. It was 10:54. I turned off the car, and as soon as I got out of it, I saw Madison. She was sitting on the hood of her own car, giant grin on her face. She came towards me, capturing me in a hug. I wrenched myself away from her grasp and looked at her for a moment. Her eyes looked so hopeful. I didn't want to hurt her. I wasn't sure if it was possible to hurt Madison, but she seemed a lot more human every day.
"Hey
you," She purred, pulling me up onto the hood of her car. She
kissed me, a shallow kiss, and I didn't resist. I pushed my lips up
against hers. I didn't feel anything at all, but I didn't know
what else to do.
"Wait." I protested, and she looked at me
murderously. "I can't do this. Madison, I'm sorry. You and I
had a thing awhile back. If you still wanted me, you shouldn't have
broken it off. That was your decision. I don't go for secret
relationships, and besides, I'm not into you at all. I like
Spencer. I told you that. I hope you understand." I stood up, and
began to walk away. She grabbed my arm, and I could tell she was
trying not to cry.
"Okay, I get it. You don't want to be with me." Madison said quietly, getting into her own car. We both left, and I was glad I'd gotten it over with.
Just
remember, to save me one last dance.
And please try to close
your... eyes.
A/N: It took me two class periods to finish this, so I hope you like it. There was a lot of interesting things happening in this chapter, and the next chapter isn't any different! Review please, I'd love to hear your feedback.
