Thokk and te Evil Scarz Tribe trekked through the Chaos Wastes, looking for a warband.
This was very unusual, though the Orcs didn't realize it. For one, very few ever came to the wastes unless they worshipped the Dark Powers, which the Orcs most emphatically did not. 'Weird gits, good scrappers but too weird fer me' was the general Orc feeling regarding the Chaos Gods.
Of those few who DID come to the Wastes with their souls intact, none ever went LOOKING for warbands (barring a few Daemonslayers). Moreover, a force as large as theirs, swollen now by the addition of two lesser tribes- the Sharp Noses and the Spider Ridaz, should have attracted attention almost immediately. Instead two days had passed since the Orcs had entered the wastes, and no one had yet attacked. Thokk was starting to feel insulted.
"Oo do dese bloody Kaoz Boyz tink dey iz!" He yelled to Runt, his Chief Slave.. "Ain't we good enuff ta fight em? Jes' cuz we been beat by da Fat Gitz!"
"Dunno Boss" Runt sipered "guess deys scared of ya"
Thokk considered this and decided it must be true "Yar, I guess so. I IZ da biggest an' baddest Orc since Grimgor an' dey iz mossly Oomies. Yar, dey MUST be scareda me and da ladz. EY! I'z gotta idear!"
Thokk's idea was this: IF the Chaos warriors were too scared to attack so large and magnificent a force as his own, then they should hide their strength. The Orcs would all scatter, leaving the Goblins alone. TheOrcs would wait, just out of sight, hidden behind some rocks, until a warband decided to take the bait. Then…the fun would start.
The Gobbos, of course, had a few reservations about the plan. "Yeh? An' wot happens ta us ifn you lot scarper? We gets slaughtered dats wot! Do it cherselves!" was how Fletchit the Arrow UnderBoss put it.
And the Gobbos actually put down their stuff and refused to help.
Thokk considered how best to convinve the Goblins. He composed a speech in his mind, one that would be sure to get their cooperation. In it, he would appeal to the essential oneness of all greenskins. He would point out that Orcs, being Orcs were simply no good at this sort of thing. They were big and tended not to think as much as they should (a lie of course; every one knew Orcs were the smartest beings in existence). Gobbos on the other hand were naturally sneaky and cunning (true). The Orcs needed the gobbos. He would remind them that the Fat Gits tended to eat Gobbo more than they did Orcs; this campaign would benefit the Goblins at least as much as the Orcs. He would compose a beautiful image of all greenskinned peoples marching, hand in hand, into a glorious blood-drenched future.
In the end he thought 'ah ferggeddit' and just bashed Fletchit in the head with his fist. "Do whatcher told, runt!" he bellowed. The Goblins, now more terrified of Thokk than of Chaos, did as they were told.
The warband spotted their prey at noon (or what passed for noon in the Chaos Wastes). It was a good-sized force, composed primarily of Beastmen. The Gors were followers of Slaanesh, and as such could be spotted from far off. They all wore brightly colored silks, flashing jewlery and marched to blaring cacophonous music. When they saw the Goblins, just sitting there, they charged.
The leader, Barath Brasshorns, was eager to capture these greenies. Using these new-found slaves, his tribe could enact orgies and atrocities for months, all to the greater glory of Slaanesh. Somehere in the sensation-drenched recesses of his brain, he wondered how goblins had made it this far alone. He did not wonder long.
With a huge bellow, a massive Orc force seemed to appear out of nowhere. Barath estimated there to be at least sixty Double Fists of Greenskins (about six hundred) and they were still coming. His own host numbered a mere four hundred. Stil, he wasn't worried. For one thing Beastmen were tougher than Orcs, and for another this was the Chaos Wastes. They knew the terrain and its insanity far better than their enemies did. Finally they had…help.
He signaled the musicians to play the battle-song. A hideous sound, similar to the death screams of a dragon, filled the air, and the Slaangors charged. The sheer sight of such a charge wuld have struck terror into the hearts of all but the stoutest foes. This was enhanced by the magic banner they carried, which played on the enemy's fear. It brought to mind horrible imaginings of what the beasts were capable of. Unfortunately, Orcs don't have much in the way of imaginations, and to them, the baner waw just another 'weird Kaoz drawring'. But Barath was still unworried, his help was almost there…
Thokk was feeling good. This was even easier than the fight with the stunties, Kaoz boyz not being anywhere near as hard. Even the absence of Gorak hadn't hurt as much as he'd thought it would. The giant had suddenly wandered off, saying something about visiting some old friends. Thokk had thought they were in deep trouble, but it looked like maybe the giant wasn't as essential as he'd first thought. Then the ground started shaking. At first Thokk assumed the shamans were doing something, but then he saw they were still woozy from all the fungus they'd eaten to 'sooper-charj' themselves. So what…
Then he saw it.
A Shaggoth, a great dragon-ogre. Standing taller than Gorat, it smashed into the Orc troops, causing havoc and death with each blow of its massive axe. Worse, the beastmen rallied around the colossal monster, and were redoubling their efforts. All in all, Thokk was forced to admit that he probably should have given this plan more thought.
He was about to bellow a retreat when a great yell interrupted him. Could it be…? YES! Yes it was! Gorat had returned, and behind him were three other giants, smashing apart the beasts and making their way to the Shaggoth. The monster fought hard, but against four angry giants, it soon fell. The beastmen, even with their great monster dead, did not flee, but fought to the last. The battle lasted a full ten minutes more, before Thokk was able to make himself heard: "'Ey ! You lot! Its ovva! WE'S WON!"
Gorat lumbered up to Da Boss. He was worried. He knew, dimly, that he'd caused problems when he'd gone off to see his friends, and that the Boss would probably scold him. Gorat might even have to go away, which would be very very bad. He remembered what life had been like before the Orcs had let him join their group. He'd never been in any real trouble, until the Ogres suddenly reappeared. He remembered the sight of his brother, Throdi, being eaten alive by the hungry little Ogres. He'd spent the next few years in terror, hiding (him! A giant, one of the masters of the world! Hiding from creatures less than half his size!). Then, one day, a band of Ogres had him cornered. He'd been sure that this was his end, but the Orcs had come and saved him. He was happy with them, and didn't want to leave.
Thokk disspelled all his fears by greeting him warmly. "Ey Gorat! You'z done real good, bringin' you ladz ta da party when ya did. We wuz in a bit of a tight spot there, and den you lot showed up, an' smashed da Big Fat Scaly Freek real good! Tell ya, it wuz a joy ta watch!"
Gorat turned this over, seeing if maybe the Boss was using his smarts to scold him in some new way. He finally decided that he wasn't. "So… you'ze not mad? Cozza da way I leff ya?"
"Nar" said Thokk, dismissing the very idea with a shake of his head and a laugh "Nar, ya had ta see yer mates! I unnerstan'!" In truth Thokk was a bit mad, but knew better than to show it. Giants tended to leave if you got mad at 'em, and Gorat was far to useful. "Ey! Tink ya could convince yer mates ta stick wid us? Youse gonna need elp, ifn youse gonna be new Monsta Wrangler!"
Gorat was stunned. "Monsta Wrangler?"
"Yeah, some new tribes jes' sent word dey wants to join us. Deys bringin lotsa trolls an' a few cave squiggs. Only two guys here whats tuff enuff to control em, and I aint got da time, what leaves you. You in?"
"YEAH" Gorat bellowed, causing Thokk to take a step back. "I'ze in! An' me frien's too!"
Gorat was happier than he could ever remember being. Not only could his friends stay with him, where they'd be safe, but he had a better job!
Orcs were such wonderful people.
End chapter 3
