Chapter 323: Regret

Tuesday, January 31st, Evening

Out on the court, Kay looked over the shadows that draped the crowd. She tried to find Ivy. Kay never told Ivy, but Ivy had been her strength through much of this goings-on.

Kay sighed and looked down at her right hand. Slowly, Kay opened and closed it. For the past four years, Kay sat in Greenwich or Chicago, avoiding Tree Hill and thinking about her life. Something broke inside of her late one night; she clearly saw her life from a different perspective in her head. Kay shook her head; her life had become nothing but regret.

Looking to her left, she studied Mackenzie as she stood there. Big Mack seemed happy; her career took her to Europe, where she's a legitimate star. Mackenzie is also married. Kay missed playing in France; she regretted not taking more advantage of that opportunity. Kay regretted devoting too much of her life to Connie and their will they or won't they relationship. Kay's biggest regret is how she treated some of her teammates.

Few of her past teammates went out of the way to talk to her. Except for her two family members, Kelly, who is a nice person, it was just Monica, Jaslyn, and Anna, who took the time to greet her and were the rest of the group she belonged to, the Wonder Freshmen. The three girls only did that because they grew on each other.

Kay, in her heart, knew she got the worst of her parents when it came to be an introvert; she got some of her dad's arrogance and had the Scott Temper as well. This made Kay want to get better; what comfort she could find came from a quote from Queen Latifah, I made decisions that I regret, and I took them as learning experiences…I'm human, not perfect, like anybody else. That gave Kay hope that she could get better.

Nathan looked over the crowd. He smiled, "Every team that succeeds has a good bench. Well, one of the best off-the-bench players was at center and forward, number forty-two, Evangeline Bekker," Nathan said.

Eva came out of the shadows and looked over the crowd. She gave them a wave and walked over to Center Court. She took a spot next to Cara. Nathan greeted her with a few words and a handshake. Eva looked down the line and sent a hand signal to Devyn and Mackenzie. They joined the team together and came up playing together. They even shared the court for meaningful minutes to shut down teams with their defense during their senior year.

Out of the shadows, a cheerleader came out carrying flowers. Kay smelled her flowers and watched the average height girl come up to the taller Eva. The two women locked eyes, and Eva nodded. The cheerleader handed Eva the bundle. Eva took it and thanked the cheerleader.

The girl walked away, leaving Eva standing at the end of the line. Eva carefully took in the scent of her flowers. Kay took another lungful of her own. Kay found the scent was fading to her nose.

Nathan took up the microphone again. "The next player is the third of the Wonder Freshmen, at Center and Forward, number fifty-two, Jaslyn Trafford," Nathan said.

Kay turned to watch Jaslyn come out onto the court. Jaslyn was the first to break out among the four of them. Kay knew Ashlyn didn't get hurt; it would have been Jaslyn who would've been the best new player.

Jaslyn came as a forward and was learning to be the next Power Forward. Early in the season, without seeing a solid center coming along, the coaches decided to teach Jaslyn how to be a center as well. Their junior year was Jaslyn's first starting at center. She was the only "Big" that could keep up with the blistering pace the team set that year.

Jaslyn slowly made her way across the court they played many games on. Did Jaslyn have regrets? Kay knew she did and wondered if she was alone. Why did all her teammates seem at peace with their lives? Kay could only see the mistakes and the regrets.

There are mornings that Kay would wake up in cold sweats from the bad dreams. Most of those mornings, she had cold sweats from the bits and pieces of the memories of the accident. Or at least what Kay assumed she could recall from that night. There were also other mornings where the dreams were about her past and how she acted. Too many bad choices that she had made in her youth. Some people would say take Frank's advice and just say you did it your way.

Jaslyn took her place alongside Eva. The two women were about the same height. Jaslyn looked and exchanged greeting with each of her ex-teammates. Kay returned Jaslyn's wave.

Nathan walked over to Jaslyn and greeted her. They exchanged a few words, and Nathan looked Jaslyn over. They smiled at each other and shook hands. Nathan walked away and left Jaslyn standing there. Jaslyn turned to Eva, and they started to joke a bit.

A cheerleader came out of the shadows and headed down the line of teammates. Kay watched as the cheerleader walked past her. Out of boredom, Kay studied the girl and was curious if she, the cheerleader, even cared about what was going on here.

The cheerleader finally stopped in front of Jaslyn. The cheerleader and Jaslyn exchanged a few words. Jaslyn was a teacher and probably knew the cheerleader. The cheerleader handed Jaslyn her flowers and quickly left the court.

Jaslyn leaned down and took a nose full of the scent of the flowers. Kay turned away and looked to the stands. She found Ivy, who sat near Izzy and Ellie. Kay turned back and looked at Jaslyn as she lowered her flowers.

Kay always thought she would see Jaslyn playing in the WNBA. Jaslyn never went professional. Kay never asked Jaslyn why she never came up or attempted to play after college. Kay wondered if there was regret in Jaslyn in how and when she ended her basketball career.

Looking around the gym once more and then down to her right hand, Kay closed her eyes. Slowly, Kay opened and closed her right hand again. Kay's arms were covered tonight. Not everyone wore a jacket tonight; Kay did; she wore a pants suit. Her blazer covered her arms and shoulders as well. Since her last surgery, she's been getting a tattoo done to cover the scars and go down her arm.

Fear and regret are cousins or consorts, Kay thought. They beget a child called shame. That's why she wore long sleeves tonight, to hide her tattoo. The reason she was getting the tattoo was the shame of the surgery scars. The fear of losing Connie and regretting what she thought of her failure as a girlfriend; led to her shame.

The one thing about fear is it could be overcome or conquered if faced. Kay nodded; that's one of the reasons for her return home. She faced the shell of her ex-girlfriend. At one time, Kay thought she would be married to Connie. Connie turned out to be fickle and had a wandering eye. That relationship, at times, was like a dagger in the heart.

Kay looked back to the stands and found Ivy. While still a new relationship, their relationship seemed to be more peaceful than her relationship with Connie. Maybe something would come of it, Kay thought.

Nathan looked at Kay, then the bleachers. "The final member of the Wonder Freshmen, at guard, number forty-four, Anna Estes," he said over the microphone.

Kay looked to the court's corner and nodded while Anna stepped out of the shadows and walked across the court. Anna waved to the crowd in the bleachers. Once she reached Center Court, she took a spot at the end of the line next to Jaslyn.

Nathan walked over to Anna and greeted her. They exchanged a few words, which ended with both smiling and laughing. It ended with the now typically handshake. Nathan walked away.

Kay noted the cheerleader stepped out of the shadows. The cheerleader slowly walked down the line of teammates. The cheerleader stopped in front of Anna, and after a bit of exchange, the cheerleader gave Anna her flowers.

Anna smelt the flowers and looked around the line. Kay looked the opposite way and made eye contact with Anna. The only year they started together was their senior year. They played Three Guard that year, with Willa Taylor being the third starting guard, Monica and Jaslyn the other two starters. But it was their freshmen year that everyone remembers.

Kay looked to her uncle. There were only three more people to be brought out. Kay also looked at the easel and what sat on it. Whatever sat under that curtain is how they would be remembered.

After a sigh, Kay tried to find a new focus. Kay just wanted to get through this ceremony. All she wanted was to sit in the bleachers next to Ivy and watch the game without regrets.