"First Day of My Life"

A/N: I was listening to this song the other day, and I've heard it about a million times, but it struck me different that day. It became about a thousand times more beautiful, and I thought it appropriate for this.

Disclaimer: Lyrics by Bright Eyes.

Ashley's POV

This is the first day of my life.
I swear I was born right in the doorway.
I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed,
They're spreading blankets on the beach.

I had to see her. I wasn't angry at all. I probably would have done the same thing if I were in her shoes. I'd been sitting home alone, and was starting to go crazy. I was glad she called me and now I was on my way over. I planned to spend the night if I was lucky, but I wasn't going to go too far with Spencer this time. I didn't want things to be that intense until everything was good between us. Standing at the front door, I hesitated. I stared at the door for a moment, and then knocked. Who answered it? None other than Glen.

"Oh, hello Ashley," he had a knowing smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes, pushing past him and making my way upstairs. I walked into Spencer's room, shutting the door behind me. I locked it, too. That way Mrs. Carlin couldn't make me sleep on the couch. I just needed a night to be near Spencer. With a smile, I wrapped my arms around my friend.

"I'm glad you came." She said softly, pulling me close to her. She smelled like strawberries.
"I am too." I replied, sitting up and letting go of her. I smiled, gazing into her blue eyes. I took her hands in mine, holding them tightly. "You are the most amazing girl I have ever met, Spencer. I can't wait until all of this clears up and you can be my girlfriend. I want to be able to hold your hand and kiss you in public. I want you all to myself."

"I promise you, that will happen." Spencer whispered, running her thumb over my lips. I nodded, leaning forward. Our lips met, and I closed my eyes, a feeling of calm rushing over me. "I will be yours, forever."

As the kiss ended, I rose up from the bed. I turned off the light, and settled back in the bed, pulling Spencer to me. She leaned against me, the covers up around us. I felt her give me a kiss on the cheek, and both of us settled off to sleep. It was a peaceful feeling. I knew that coming here was a good idea.

Spencer's POV

Yours is the first face that I saw.
I think I was blind before I met you.
Now I don't know where I am,
I don't know where I've been,
But I know where I want to go
.

"I love you," I whispered it softly into Ashley's ear as she slept. I was practically ecstatic to have her here with me, but I also knew that for things to become even better, I had to come clean. I gazed at my alarm clock. It was about five in the morning now, and it was Saturday. I'd have to wait until Monday to do what I was planning, but the wait would be worth it. Then it would all fall into place. I did love her. I knew this because she made me feel like myself.

She was the only person I'd ever met that made me feel this way about myself. It was almost like she helped me forget about everything that wasn't important, and helped me see what truly was. She had the biggest heart of anyone I knew, and made more mistakes than I could count. Her imperfections were what I loved the most. Every scar, every tear made me believe that she was so strong. I was amazed that she went through all the things she did.

I often compared myself to her. I felt shallow, and I felt like I couldn't compare. She helped me fix those things in myself. She helped me be more confident with who I was. Our family lives were extraordinarily different. I lived in a so-called "happy" household, one that she referred to as the Brady Bunch. She was right, sort of. It was perfect in Ohio, but when we moved to LA, things changed. They had to change. Now, my parents weren't getting along as well as they used to. Glen was becoming more of a jerk. Clay was getting hassled and being so confused about his origin. Then there was me, not knowing where to turn. I realized it now, because of her, that I was gay. I also realized that my mother believed that was wrong. I was afraid because I knew I'd have to tell her eventually. She was going to be the last to know.

Ashley's home life was less than perfect. Her parents were divorced. Her father was a rock star who was never around, and when he was, all he did was disappoint her. She wanted more than anything to be accepted by her parents, and loved, and she wanted attention to be paid to her. But it never failed. She was always ignored. Especially by her mother. She put her down constantly, and was parading around with dozens of men. There was a new guy practically every day.

Ashley had grown accustomed to that. I didn't believe anyone should get used to that. I knew Ashley better than she knew herself. I studied her almost, trying to figure her out. I knew that she had to get attention whenever she could. She got the attention at school, the only place she could get it. Getting attention that way only led to her being more of an outcast. She said she liked it that way, but I wasn't so sure. I admired her as a person. I admired her as a friend. And I admired her as someone who was madly in love with her.

Ashley's POV

And so I thought I'd let you know,
That these things take forever,
I especially am slow.
But I realize that I need you,
And I wondered if I could come home.

When I woke up, I noticed Spencer was awake. She was also staring at me. I groaned, ducking my head under the covers.
"Don't stare at me, it's creepy and besides, I look terrible." I didn't want her to see me looking like this, with my hair all messed up and everything. I peeked out at her. She was adorable, dressed in pajamas. So innocent-looking. She pulled the covers off of me, pinning me to the bed.

"You look great." Spencer argued, kissing me on the forehead. She got up from the bed, pulling me up with her. "Time for breakfast."
"Breakfast with the Bradys?" I questioned, biting my lip. I grabbed Spencer's hairbrush, making my hair look at least halfway decent. She dragged me downstairs. I didn't want to go down there. I didn't want to face her family, especially after I'd spent the night. I was terrified of her mother. I was mostly worried that Glen would say something in front of her. I sat at the table, staring at the eggs and bacon in front of me.

"Good morning." It was Spencer's dad. He had a smile on his face as he handed me a glass of orange juice. Clay was sitting at the table, and Spencer took a seat beside of me. Clay looked at us and grinned.
"Where's your mom?" I asked Spencer, wondering. Maybe she was still upstairs. Or if I was lucky, she wasn't here at all. I prayed that it was the last one.
"She had to go to work early." Mr. Carlin explained, taking a seat at the table. I nodded, feeling a lot more comfortable.

I really liked Spencer's family. I liked about half of her family, anyway. If Glen and Mrs. Carlin would just disappear, it would be wonderful. Mr. Carlin was so nice and he seemed to be a really good dad from what Spencer told me. I was jealous of her family. I wished my dad was that great. I wish he made me breakfast in the morning. Actually, I just wish he lived at my house, and my parents were still together. But that wouldn't happen. I had to spend so many nights alone. My mom went out of town at random points in time and she slept with men at their houses constantly. She didn't bring guys home that often, which I was pretty thankful for. I just wanted a normal family. Like Spencer's.

After breakfast Spencer, Clay, and I went into the living room to watch TV. Mr. Carlin went upstairs to get ready for work. I leaned back on the couch, staring at the cartoon that we were watching. It was some weird kids' cartoon about a coconut living on an island with a bunch of fruits. It was pretty funny. Spencer and I were laughing our heads off as her dad came back downstairs, dressed and ready to go. He gave Spencer a kiss on the cheek, and Clay a pat on the back. I was beginning to wonder where Glen was.

Spencer's POV

You said, "this is the first day of my life
I'm glad I didn't die before I met you.
But now I don't care I could go anywhere with you,
And I'd probably be happy."

"Where's Glen?" Ashley asked me as we were watching Saturday morning cartoons. I shared a knowing glance with Clay, laughing.
"He doesn't typically get up until past noon." I explained.

"He and I actually have something in common. Oh god," She looked at the both of us in horror, which made me laugh harder. "Think you could walk me home, Spence?"

"What about your car?" I replied, not taking my eyes off of the TV. She pushed me off of the couch, tickling me as she did so.

"I didn't drive here, I walked. I felt like a walk last night." Ashley answered, still tickling me. I tried to fight her off, but it didn't work. I felt Clay watching us. He was grinning widely. I think he saw the chemistry between Ashley and I. Even when we were being silly, I really did love her.

"Will you please STOP?" I squealed. She lifted her hands in the air, surrendering. "I'll walk with you." Ashley smiled, pulling me up from the floor. With a wave to Clay, we went out the door.

It was nice outside. The sun was out and it was warm. The air smelled moist, like rain. It reminded me of Ohio. When I lived there, it rained all the time. California was so different. It was practically hot all the time. It was beautiful, but sometimes I missed the rain. I missed the feeling of the droplets gathering on my face, and I missed running around outside during a storm. California was nothing but hot air, usually. I hadn't even experienced an earthquake yet. I couldn't say I was eager to. I casually took Ashley's hand in mine as we walked. She smiled, squeezing it and looking at me. God, she was so beautiful. I smiled back at her.

Ashley's POV

I was sad when I realized I was standing in front of my house. I stopped and turned around, facing Spencer. I wanted to kiss her, right then and there, but I was afraid someone she knew would drive by. I simply gazed at her for a moment. I brushed a strand of her blonde hair out of her eyes, and then hugged her.

"Thank you for this." I said softly, loving the warmth of her body against mine. She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.
"It's no problem." Spencer said this and began to walk away. I stood there, watching her until she became a tiny dot in the distance. I found my way to my front porch. I sat on the step, looking up at the sky. For the first time in my life, I felt happy. Spencer wasn't my girlfriend yet, but I was so in love with her, I knew it was only a matter of time.

So if you want to be with me,
With these things there's no telling,
We just have to wait and see.
But I'd rather be working for a paycheck,
Than waiting to win the lottery.
Besides maybe this time is different,
I mean I really think you like me.