Changes Chapter 10
Logan led Jean down the small path until they reached the spot where he usually trained his abilities. Jean looked around and frowned. She couldn't see anything she could train her powers with. "What are we doing here, Logan?", she asked puzzled. "I thought you wanted top help me with my control?"
He turned around smirking and threw one bottle with water towards her which he had taken out of the basket he'd been carrying the whole time through. "Did you ever do Martial Arts?", he asked her in return and watched amused as her chin dropped.
"We must consider all possibilities", said the Professor and watched Logan and Jean on the outside. "I'm sure Erik knew earlier about the cure so he is ahead of us. I already tried to locate him and members of the Brotherhood with Cerebro, but it will take some time before we get results."
Storm nodded. "If he plans to attack us here, then we have to be prepared… All students, except the X-Men, are either too young to fight or not trained for it… And it's impossible to teach them to fight or defend in such a short time. Especially since we do not know if or when he plans an attack on us…"
"Speaking of fighting…", Hank said and came closer to the window. "What are they doing out there?", he asked and watched the to mutants in the garden curiously.
"He's teaching her to control Phoenix", the Professor answered.
Hank raised an eyebrow. "By doing Tai Chi with her!"
Charles smiled. "Trust me, Hank", he said looking up and exchanged glances with him. "Logan knows how to cage a beast and she already made a lot of progress because of him."
"Yeah, it only makes a difference that his beast is not as powerful as hers…"
"She is doing fine, Hank", Ororo added and stopped beside him. "I only wonder what might happen if Magneto figures out that she's alive… Logan can't protect her against if necessary…"
Hank, who had looked at her while she spoke, switched his look towards the event in the garden again.
"The only problem is", said the Professor watching Logan talking to Jean and seeing her shaking her head violently, "… that he has to rush his lessons because of the incident at night and that Jean might not be ready for it…" His eyes saw Logan grabbing her arms and keeping on on her. He noticed and could almost feel Jean's fear, but he knew that they needed her to control her powers in case of an attack. It scared him to imagine that the Phoenix could rise during a battle…it would doom all of them to die possibly…
"Logan, please…", Jean pleaded and looked at him frightened. "I can't…"
"Jean, you can, trust me…", he answered. "You need to practice it and we have to rush through it, I'm sorry…"
She shook her head and looked down, feeling how the fear ate her up inside. He took her face into his hands and made her look at him in that way. "We've practiced it, Jean. You can do it if you remember what we did in the last months. I know you can!", Logan went on. "Hell, I can't protect you if this bastard attacks us, so I have to be sure that you can take care of yourself…"
Jean breathed hard and was shaking all over. "What if I hurt you?"
"You won't!"
"What if I lose it?"
"Then I'm here to help you out", he assured her.
She swallowed and thought about it for a brief moment. Finally, she sighed. "Okay,…what do you want me to do?"
Logan smiled at her and squeezed her hand confidently. "We'll do this in three rounds first." He took a bottle into his hands. "Try to stop it with your mind. Concentrate and remember the things we've practiced, okay?"
Jean nodded slowly and watched him taking position a few meters away from her. Her heart was beating violently fast; she even felt her hands shaking. Desperately she tried to recall what he had taught her in the past months.
"You ready?", he asked.
She took one last deep breath and nodded finally.
"Okay. Here comes the first."
Jean watched the bottle flying towards her and instinctively jumped aside. She couldn't concentrate. The only thing she felt was her heartbeat and the immense fear within her.
"Forget it! Next one. Concentrate!", Logan demanded and threw another bottle at her.
Again she backed away, breathing heavily.
"Remember it, Jean! You can do it!"
Jean closed her eyes and took deep breaths to calm herself. Her mind was racing, searching for a solution. She recalled one lesson after the next, heard what he had taught her, saw what she had learned from him. She recalled day after day, week after week, month after month…
"Next one!", Jean heard him say from far away. She followed the sound the bottle made after he had let go of it, traced its way towards her and finally opened her eyes as she felt it being close by. Jean kept her eyes fixed on it and raised her hand slowly, ordering the object to stop. She didn't saw Logan's surprised face as her eyes began to glow orange for a brief moment. She only had eyes for the bottle which floated directly in front of her. Jean shook her head and blinked, causing the bottle to drop to the ground. Confused she starred at it…
Suddenly, Logan pulled her into his arms. "You did it!", he said, holding her face in his hands. "Jeannie, you did it! You made it stop!"
Once again she looked down to the object, before she met his gaze smiling. She embraced him closely, hiding her face in his neck and started to sob.
"Hey, no need to cry about it!", he teased her and pulled her closer.
"She did it!", Storm said surprised and looked down to the Professor who smiled proudly. "She really stopped it
"The boy made it…I can't believe it…", Hank murmured amazed and shook his head.
"Don't rash! It's too early to conclude something from it!", Charles warned. Still, he felt pride within him.
"Ready for round two?", Logan asked after a while and stroke a strand out of her face.
Jean nodded and took her position again. "Okay, two at once this time", Logan said.
They kept on training her powers for two more hours. Raising the amount of bottles after she was successful or reducing it if she couldn't stop them. After they had emptied the basket twice, Logan stopped, nearly as heavily breathing as Jean was. "Okay, let's make a break", he said handing a bottle to Jean before he sat down and leant against a tree.
She sat down between his legs, resting her body against his. Both just sat there in silence and drank water while they calmed themselves down.
"Thanks, Logan!", Jean finally said and looked up at him.
"You're welcome, Red!", he winked smiling.
"So, what's round three?", she asked after a while.
"Experiments on the living object", he answered while putting away his empty bottle.
Jean raised an eyebrow and slowly turned around, looking at him in disbelief. "You want me to fight against you!"
"No fighting, Jean. Not yet."
"What do you have in mind, then?", she asked confused and still frowning.
He got up and helped her to her feet. "The same as before, just that I'm the bottle this time."
Jean folded her arms. "And how do you want to do that?", she asked. "Did you plan to jump off the roof?"
Logan chuckled. "Something like that."
She followed his look and saw Collossus approaching. Then it hit her… "You're kidding, Logan!"
"Nope!"
"Logan, if I don't catch you…", Jean started and felt her fear improving immediately.
"There it is again!", he said looking at her.
"What?"
"This insecurity", Logan answered. "I told you, Jean that you have to believe in yourself. I trust you, otherwise I wouldn't be doing that."
Jean watched Collossus stepping behind him. "Logan…", she tried to protest again, but he only shook his head.
"No, Jean! No but's, can'ts, don'ts or won'ts anymore. You're gonna do this now!"
She sighed and looked around in despair. She felt caught in a nightmare. Either her heart would stop beating or breaking her chest. "I just don't want you to get hurt…", she admitted, her heartbeat completely out of control now.
"See?", he said. "Don't!"
Jean knew that he wouldn't change his mind and let her leave without at least trying it. But still she was scared to death… If she couldn't catch him he could be seriously wounded or even killed. And then it was her fault again. She would be blamed for it. Jean shook her head, looking at him, tears gathering in her eyes. She saw the intransient look he gave her. Finally, she sighed again.
"Good!", Logan nodded and gave Collossus a sign. "Ready?"
Jean took a very deep breath and nodded slowly, knowing deep in her heart that this would end badly…
Hank frowned and put down the cup he was holding in his hands. "What is he doing now?"
Also the Professor frowned. He hadn't dared to read their minds, wanted them to keep their privacy, but still he couldn't figure out what Logan's intention was.
The door opened behind them and Storm came back, holding a tray in her hand with new tea. "Did they finish their break?", she asked while putting it down on the large desk of the Professor. When she didn't get an answer, she stepped forward and looked out of the window. Immediately her eyes widened. "Oh my God. He's not doing this, is he?"
"Okay, jus do it as I told you", Logan said to Collossus, before he gave Jean a last look. He noticed how terrified she was, yet he knew it was necessary. He could smell her fear. "You can do it, Jean! I trust you completely!" Logan felt Colossuss grabbing his collar with one hand and his belt with the other, fixing his eyes on Jean. He was glad that she hadn't had his heightened senses. His heart was racing and he, too, was scared to death. He swallowed. "Okay, go!"
With all his might, Collossus threw Logan straight up into the air, stepping aside and watching his friend rising higher and higher afterwards.
Jean was standing stock still with her eyes fixed on heaven. If her heart had been beating fast before, it just stopped working now. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't focus. Too great was her fear that she would fail, that he would fall down to earth and smash. She noticed that she had stopped breathing and finally she could feel her heart racing again. Her body was shaking heavily. She tried to raise her hand, but her arm wasn't moving. Jean breathed heavily, thought she would choke because she was so close to hyperventilating…
Logan on the contrary had his eyes still fixed on her, even as he reached the highest point. It appeared to him that he stopped in the air for a few seconds, before gravity pulled him back with all its might.
Jean watched him falling. She couldn't make it. He would crash down to the ground and even his healing factor couldn't fix the damage again… She took one step forward, her eyes fixed on him, while her heart and breath were totally out of control. Still, he was falling.
Collossus kept on switching between Logan and Jean. He had trusted him that she would make it. It had cost Logan much to convince him to do it, but now he had his doubts. "Mrs. Grey…?", he asked worriedly and frightened, looking up again to see his friend gaining speed. Time was running out…
Logan watched the ground coming closer and closer. His fear had taken over now, but still his faith in her was the dominant part within him. "Come on, Jean!", he said out loud. "Come on…" He could almost see the green in her eyes, so close was he already. If he was wrong, he'd inevitably passed the death sentence on himself…, no he wasn't, she would make it… Again he fixed his eyes on hers, watching the ground coming closer…
"Stop…", Jean whispered while she looked up. "Stop…" It wasn't working, she couldn't stop him… "Please stop!", she said louder as tears began to flow down her cheeks. Her breath was coming irregularly now, causing her mind to race even more. He only had few meters left before he would hit the ground… Why wasn't it working? It had worked before, why not now? Desperately, she raised one hand as she did before and focused, but still he was falling… She had only second left… Jean could hear the Phoenix within her…laughing at her incompetence. She sank to her knees and wrapped her arms around her. It was happening again…she would kill one of her closest friends again, she would be held responsible for it, because she was too weak… He had already reached the height of the roof as she looked up again…she had no time left…
Logan had stopped fighting against keeping himself calm. His breath and heartbeat were already out of control and his claws had popped out, as he could see the Professor, Hank and Storm approaching in the garden. He saw Jean falling down to her knees…, she gave up… "No!", he said and his eyes widened. It couldn't be, he couldn't have been wrong…his instincts had never forsaken him… Helplessly, Logan watched the roof going past him. Instinctively, he covered his face with his arms…
Jean heard him inside of her mind, heard his screams that he wanted her to get up again. She closed her eyes, causing more tears to flow. In her mind, she saw him crashing down to earth over and over again, heard the Phoenix laughing even louder. She hadn't had to open her eyes to know that it was over soon. She could almost hear the wind biting at him. Why hadn't he listened to her…?
"Jean!", he yelled at her as he reached the 10-metre mark. "Damn it, get up!"
She covered her ears, didn't want to hear the sound of inevitability, which wasn't far away anymore.
"You should have stayed dead!", Phoenix laughed. "Now, you'll lose him, too. Poor little girl…"
"Shut up!", Jean said, her voice trembling.
"You're too weak!", Phoenix hissed in her mind. "A caged animal that was tamed, now look where it lead you to… Open your eyes and watch how I'll make you pay for fighting me…you and him!"
"Shut up!", she tried again and grimaced with pain. Her head felt as if it would explode any minute. She couldn't bear it anymore…
"Jean!"
Jean shook her head in pain again. There were too many voices…
"They'll hate you if he dies…they'll make you pay for it! You're not welcome here anymore, poor little girl. It's not your home, Jean! It's the golden cage they want you to be kept in!"
"Shut your mouth!", Jean hissed loudly.
"Jean…" The other voice was back, too.
"Stop it!", Jean nearly screamed this time.
"Tamed animal!" "Jean…" "Caged creature!" "Jean, open your eyes…" "Murderer!" "You have to open your eyes!"
"I said stop it!", Jean yelled sending an invisible wave into all directions, while holding her head in pain.
"Jean!", she heard Logan yell again.
Storm, Hank and the Professor watched the scenery with widened eyes.
"She won't make it!", Storm said terrified. "Do something!"
"No…" The Professor closed his eyes again, while the others watched Logan falling.
"You'll have to do something!", she yelled hysterically. "He'll smash…" She took hold of Hank's arm. "God, he'll smash…"
Jean looked up after she heard Logan. "I'm sorry…", she whispered and looked down as she recognized that it was too late. He had already reached Colossus height…
Logan closed his eyes as he passed him, knowing that it was over…
"NO!", Storm screamed and hid her face into Hanks chest.
"Don't let it control you…"
Suddenly, Jean's eyes shot open again, glowing like fire. As if someone else was controlling her she opened her arms, letting the flames consume her body, triggering her powers from within. She felt like being reborn, felt powerful and almighty again…knowing that nothing and no one could ever stop her…
The fire in her eyes became stronger as she put out a hand…
Abruptly he stopped… Puzzles, Logan slowly opened his eyes, looking directly into the green of the grass, which was few centimeters away from him. He took a deep breath and blinked as sweat was running down his face. For the first time in month he felt his body shaking and his heart nearly breaking. The last time he had felt like that was when he had to kill h…
"Jean!" Immediately Logan's eyes shot up and met hers.
As suddenly as he had stopped, he fell down…
Jean felt the strength leaving her and collapsed to the ground. She was breathing heavily and shaking all over, unable to control even an inch of her body. She felt the weight falling of her shoulders. She looked up and met his gaze. Immediately, she began to cry heart-rending.
Slowly, Logan got up after he was able to control his still shaking body again and kneeled down beside her. "Jean…"
He only saw a shadow moving as she hit him right into the face. Shocked, he turned towards her, his hand covering his burning cheek. Logan thought he had to die as he looked at her…
She was shaking violently, while tears were running unstoppable down her cheek. He noticed that she even had trouble to keep her head straight. "I hate you…", she sobbed barely audible.
When she started to hit him against his chest, while she cried even harder, Logan instinctively pulled her into his arms, holding her tight as she started to fight against him. He let her cry and sob at his shoulder, being proud of her, even if it was a very close call.
"I hate you!", she sobbed while she wrapped her arms around him.
"No, you don't!"
"You could be dead now, you stupid jerk…"
Logan chuckled, forgetting his inner turmoil as she began to kiss him feverishly.
After they had calmed down again and had gotten up, they walked over to the Professor and the other three mutants, who had watched them. Storm's cheeks were wet and her eyes reddened. She was biting her lip when she walked towards Logan, her eyes angrily fixed on him.
"Damn, 'Ro! Couldn't you use the other side?", he cursed, now holding his other cheek.
"You're a stupid asshole, Logan!", she yelled at him, grabbed his collar and shook him. "How could you do that, you freak!"
"Calm down, 'Ro!", he said calmly, putting a hand on her shoulder.
"Bastard!", she shot back but not as angrily as before.
Jean avoided the look of the Professor and stepped back, so that she was half covered by Logan. She had taken his hand into hers and leaned against his shoulder, still crying silently. She could still feel her heart beating strongly within her chest, but also the power which had rushed through her. She clung closer to him when she remembered the time when she had felt this power the last time… It had been at Alkali Lake when she had successfully pulled up the Black Bird, shortly before the water had buried her… Jean frowned… How could it be the same power on the one hand, but the feeling it caused within her was so different when she was Phoenix on the other hand?
Jean blinked as Logan slowly pulled her with him. She hadn't even noticed that her thoughts had drifted off so much that she hadn't even been aware of her surroundings anymore…
When Logan looked at her worriedly, she gave him a short smile, hoping to satisfy him with it for the moment. Jean knew she couldn't postpone it anymore. If she liked it or not, she had to talk to the Professor soon… Frowning she looked over to the single gravestone next to the pond. The whole surroundings of it were still a mess, half destroyed as Phoenix had risen. An idea came to her mind and she smiled vaguely.
Logan caught the gaze of the Professor. "Thanks for not intervening!", he thought and his opposite nodded.
"It was a very close call, Logan. You risked your life, I hope you know that!", he said mentally.
"Yeah, I know", Logan thought and looked at Jean, knowing that the Professor followed his gaze. "But it was necessary…"
