Akira Kurusu frowned as he sat down on his bed in LeBlanc's attic. Soon, they would steal Sae Nijima's treasure and be betrayed by Akechi, their newest member. He would be captured and, later, interrogated by Sae herself. He would need to convince her of his story and have her help him out; otherwise, Akechi would kill him.
He would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous. In fact, his hands were trembling as he clasped them together in front of him. He let himself have that moment of weakness. None of the others were here; even Morgana was hanging out with Futaba in her room right now. He needed to let out any nervousness now, for as soon as any of the others came in, the mask came back on. He wouldn't be awkward and shy Akira; he would be Joker, the smooth, fearless leader of the Phantom Thieves.
This was necessary; he had decided when they originally came up with this plan. The others needed a rock, someone they could rely on, someone who could ease their fears. It was the only way they would be brave enough to pull this off. None of the others had seen any cracks on his mask. Not Makoto, his second-in-command, not Ryuji, his best friend, not Futaba, his little sister in all but blood, not even Morgana, who he spent time with almost 24/7. None but her.
Haru Okumura, the most recent addition to their ranks, Akechi not-withstanding.
The Okumura heiress was, rather unfortunately, experienced when it came to masking her distress. She had to be after having to deal with a neglectful father and an abusive fiancée. On top of that, she was kind and caring to a fault. Even after her father's death, she was more worried about how the team was dealing with being framed for murder.
It also helped that they had been spending a good amount of time together as of late, as he tried to help her deal with the fall-out of her father's death. Obviously, the two grew closer. He learned about her dream of opening a café of her own one day, just like her grandfather had done years ago, her passion and determination to restore the Okumura name after her father's actions tarnished it, regardless of the insane amount of pressure placed on her by the company's board of directors. This type of environment would have hardened most people, yet here she remained, kindhearted as always.
He had seen just how far her kindness could go the day they came up with their plan.
XXX
The meeting had just ended, and the Phantom Thieves were all getting up to leave. All except for one.
"Mona-chan," Haru called out softly to their feline friend as the others made their way downstairs "could you stay with Futaba-chan for a bit? There's something I need to discuss with Akira-kun."
"Ehhmm…" Morgana mumbled, confused. He turned towards their leader to see him give a small, if confused, nod. "Alright then…just message Futaba when I can come back so I don't barge in on you."
With that, the tuxedo cat left through the window to catch up with Futaba as she walked back home.
Akira raised an eyebrow at his friend as she fidgeted a bit.
"May I sit next to you?" she asked, gesturing to the spot beside him in the small coach he had up here.
"Sure." he said, shrugging "You really don't need to be so formal though."
"It's fine. Thank you Akira-kun." she said as she sat next to him.
About a minute of silence ensued as she fidgeted in her place, as if unsure how to approach whatever subject was on her mind.
Just as he was about to ask her what was wrong, she spoke up.
"…Are you okay?" she asked, almost too quietly for him to hear.
"Huh?" he grunted in surprise, before putting on a confident smirk "What are you talking about? Everything will be-"
"Stop…" she interrupted him, her soft voice somehow carrying a very commanding tone "I asked to talk with Akira-kun."
Now he was really confused.
"What are you talking about? It's me Haru."
She smiled sadly at him as she shook her head.
"No, you're not," she said "you're Joker right now; and not the natural one from the Metaverse either."
"But Haru," he said, even more confused now "Joker is me."
"Yes," she conceded "Joker is a part of you, the part you hide from the world as to not draw attention to yourself, but it's also become a mask for you to use to hide behind. Just as Akira Kurusu is a mask for Joker to hide from a society that wouldn't accept him, so has Joker become a mask for Akira Kurusu to hide his negative feelings. Right now, you're using Joker as a mask to hide your true feelings, not as a way to express them like in the Metaverse."
Akira was rendered speechless by the girl's words, showing she had hit the nail right on the head.
"H-how..?" he couldn't help but ask.
"When you grow up surrounded by businessmen who say and act however they think will benefit them the most, you learn to notice these things" she said, smiling sadly once again before continuing.
"Akira-kun…I want you to know that you're not alone, alright? You were there for me when I lost my father, and helped me deal with the fallout without asking for anything in return. And I know you've done the same for the others. So, just this once, let me be the one to help you. You don't need to mask your emotions from me, no need to keep any appearances. You're the greatest person I know, and that won't change just because you can sometimes feel scared or nervous. You're still human after all. Now, let me ask once again: Are you okay?"
Akira didn't know when he had taken off his glasses, he just realized as he put them on the table in front of him. He could feel the fear and nervousness he had pushed deep within himself start to resurface with each word the girl spoke, until he couldn't hold back all of his tears anymore as a few managed to escape.
He covered his face with his hands in one last desperate attempt to hide his tears before feeling them being gently pried away by Haru, causing him to look at her in all of his tear-stained glory. He couldn't see any judgment on her face, only sympathy.
'I guess… I can be honest…just this once' he thought as he finally let the tears flow without restriction.
XXX
He hadn't cried as much as he did that evening since his arrest almost a year earlier. He had revealed every insecurity, every worry, every fear he had that he felt he had to hide for the sake of his teammates.
Haru stayed mostly silent throughout the whole ordeal, just embracing and letting him cry on her shoulder, as well as speaking a few words of comfort here and there.
Ever since, whenever his worries resurfaced, he would call Haru and, if she could, she would visit and hear him rant until he tired himself out. If she couldn't visit, they would have a long phone call for the exact same purpose, with her speaking every now and then to show she was truly listening.
He had thought he needed to stay strong for his teammates, to not show weakness and be their rock. And yet, Haru saw through his mask so easily and instead decided to become his rock. She truly was one of a kind.
Little wonder he had fallen head over heels for her.
Akira sighed. Haru wasn't there to comfort him today, she was stuck in a board meeting over at Okumura Foods; and while he knew she would happily ditch it if it meant helping a friend in need, he also knew that wouldn't be fair to her.
So instead, here he was, trying to deal with this spike of anxiety on his own. He couldn't help it, especially now that they had secured the infiltration route. He knew the moment they sent that calling card could be the last time he would ever see LeBlanc, the Phantom Thieves, his family. All it took was a wrong move on his part, one wrong word, and that's not even taking into account whatever the cops would do to him before Sae arrives. A beating was almost certain, so for all he knew he could have a concussion by the time Sae arrived and be unable to properly convince her.
He shook his head. This is why he hated being alone during this things, his mind would always go to the worst possible scenario. Haru would normally calm him down, ease his fears and give him actual confidence to back up the act he put up in front of everyone, but she wasn't here now.
Akira ran his hands through his messy hair with an exasperated grunt. Sitting here wondering about what could go wrong would accomplish nothing, he knew that. But still…
"I wish…" he whispered, almost low enough that even he couldn't hear it "I wish there was a way to know that it'll work out…that everything will go according to plan…that I won't be forced to leave everyone again…"
As he finished whispering to himself, a blue butterfly flew in through his window, perching itself on his table. As he raised an eyebrow at it, he couldn't help but notice it seemed to be glowing faintly.
Soon enough though, the glow grew brighter and brighter, until he was blinded by it. The last thing he remembered was Sojiro yelping downstairs before everything went black…
