Changes Chapter 19

Rogue stared down and slowly got to her knees. It couldn't be true…her eyes had to make a fool out of her… But also the others suddenly stared down, the cold air reflecting their heavy breaths…

Storm let go of Hank and kneeled down. Her widened eyes switched to the Professor who stared back at her, completely speechless…

On the ground laid Logan naked on his back and heavily coughing, desperately trying to fill his lungs with air. Suddenly he turned around, breathing stertorously and retching as if his lungs had to learn to work again. His still weak arms were barely able to lift up his upper body, when he began to breathe irregularly, while his body was shaking all over. Smelling her, he slowly turned his head towards the still unconscious Jean. After taking a short look, he closed his tired eyes again, before he collapsed to the ground again.

Storm had instinctively grabbed him, but was unable to carry his weight. Shocked she looked at the others, while she rested his head in her arms, until her eyes finally met the Professor's. "That's…that's impossible… He was dead…"

Charles nodded and turned his head when Kitty and Peter approached. "Get both of them into the lab immediately!", he told Peter and Scott.

"Lab?", Peter asked confused. "But…I thought he's dead…?"

"He was…"; Charles smiled and for the first time he recognized that the flowers were gone again. So he'd been right… He finally had his answers… "We'll talk about this later", he said while maneuvering his wheelchair back to the mansion. "It was way enough excitement for this night…"

"I still don't get it, Charles", Moira said while writing down Logan's vitals. "He was cured and dead…"

Charles only smiled, but became serious again when he looked at the lifeless mutant before him. He still hadn't woken up and it had almost been a week. "I told you her powers were limitless."

She sighed and checked if there had been any changes during the week. "I know, but still…" She turned around to face him. "I don't understand how she could…", Moira broke off and looked for the right word. "…create him new…or rebuilt him…that's just impossible!"

"Erik once called her a Goddess…" The Professor's eyes darkened immediately as he thought about his old friend. He couldn't and would never forgive or forget what he'd done to Logan…

"She truly is…", she said barely audible and took care of Logan again.

"How's he doing?", he asked worriedly.

"His vitals are unchanged… I just don't know why he's not waking up." She touched Logan's arm. "He'll have a lot to do to gain weight and muscles again…"

Charles chuckled. "I doubt he'll need a lot of time for it!"

Suddenly, she looked at him and he could tell that something was on her mind. "What is it?"

"Would it have made a difference if he wasn't weekend because of his lack of sleep and food?"

"You want to know if it would have made a difference if you'd made him go to bed and sleep for a few hours and eat enough?", Charles corrected her, since he'd noticed the guilty undertone in her voice. "I doubt it. First, he wouldn't have listened to you and second, it was their intention to kill him, I think." He looked at Logan again. "No, it wouldn't have made any difference…"

She nodded. "Well, we should go. The others are waiting with breakfast for us…"

Charles maneuvered his wheelchair towards the elevator. "I only hope that Jean won't freak out after she wakes up…", he said completely serious. "She still doesn't know that he's alive…"

Upstairs on the second floor, Jean laid in bed, her eyes closed. Her body had needed the week to recover again and she had slept through it completely. She wasn't laying in the lab, since most tables were destroyed by the attack and Logan needed the medical attention more than her. Still, an IV was plugged into her arm.

As the winter sun stroked her face gently, she grimaced and opened her eyes slowly. Jean needed a moment to realize that she was laying in Logan's room… Abruptly, she widened her eyes and sat up, looking down to the empty bedside next to her. "Logan…", she gasped and began to breathe heavily as the memories returned to her.

With widened eyes and a completely shocked expression in her face she turned her head, staring into emptiness. She had failed, her powers had failed… She'd tried anything to save him, but failed… Hot tears were running down her cheeks as her breathing became harder and her eyes darkened. She had lost him because of them… Her eyes immediately turned pitch black as she saw Logan's defiled and smeared with blood body before her eyes again. A deep and violent anger took over as Jean gritted her teeth. Furious, she pulled the needle out of her arm and got up, her skin becoming veined and dark again, laving no sign of humanity on her. She wouldn't let them go away with that…they'd pay…everyone would pay for her sorrow… Suddenly, she stopped on her way to the door, as her eyes caught her expression in the large mirror on the opposite wall. Jean's eyes were fixed on her bigger belly. Slowly, she laid a hand on it… Expressionless, she looked at her mirror image, which seemed so unfamiliar and appeared so far away to her… Even if her heart was poisoned with fury and the desire to take revenge, she slowly let her head sink… Jean stood like frozen on the same spot, feeling her heart shattering to pieces as she thought about the great loss she'd to bear. When she looked into the mirror again, green eyes stared back, but still she felt empty and lost…

Slowly, as if someone else made her do it, she walked down towards the kitchen, where everyone else was gathered. Like a shadow of her former self, Jean stood in the doorway and just watched them, without really realizing it…

"Jean!", Storm said in surprise and jumped off her chair to embrace her. "You're awake!" She looked at her friend who only stared back. "Come on, sit down!" Slowly, Ororo led her to the chair, she Jean always used to sit on.

Everyone was exchanging glances, noticing the weird expression on her face. Jean slowly turned her attention to the empty chair next to her…his chair… Immediately, her eyes filled with tears again and she began to sob heavily, while her heart ached atrocious.

Storm reacted when she saw it. "Hey!" She laid a hand on her shoulder. "There's no need to cry…"

Furiously, Jean turned her head and her eyes darkened for a few seconds, while a cup smashed against the wall. "How can you say that?", she hissed angrily and jumped off her chair.

"No, let me explain…", Storm began, raising a hand to show her that she should listen to her. "What I meant was…"

"He's dead and you're telling me that there's no need to cry?", her opposite asked loudly and the tears were running down her cheeks.

"What's wrong?", Scott asked and entered the kitchen, followed by Moira and the Professor. "Jean!", he gasped and couldn't help but look at her. But she didn't even take a notice of him.

"Look…", Storm began, trying again to tell her that she got the whole point completely wrong.

"Do you have any idea what it means to me?", Jean asked in despair and shook her head. "I lost him; I lost him, because I failed!"

"Jean, you didn't…", the Professor began and was joining Ororo's side. So did the others. "Listen…"

"You told me my powers were limitless!", she cut him off. "So why couldn't I help him?"

The others were staring at her as someone laid a hand on her shoulder. Immediately Jean turned around, blinded by her fury. She gasped and backed off, her eyes widened. Her eyes stared into tired brown eyes, while she nearly dropped to the ground. "No…", she whispered. Her heart stopped beating and she was unable to move. Her whole body was shaking heavily. It appeared to her like a dream, in which she was watching herself without being able to do anything. As if she was controlled by someone else…

Suddenly, Jean felt that she was pressed against a warm body. It was supposed to calm her, but her breathe, heart and emotions were completely out of control now… Her mind refused to understand what was just happening…

"I told you…", she heard a familiar voice whispering in her ear. "I'd never leave you..."

"But you did…", Jean sobbed heavily and looked up into Logan's eyes. " "You did…"

"I'm sorry…", he said weakly and kissed her gently, while his heart broke. He hated to see her cry, especially when it was because of him.

Jean desperately clung to him and cried heavily until no more tears were left. She felt the relief, but still she couldn't believe that it was true. She had seen him, seen his body laying lifelessly on the ground…his heart had stopped beating forever and he had left her alone… She didn't car that the others were watching. Didn't see that most of them were also crying. Jean leant her head against his bare chest when he pulled her closer, listened to his steady heart beat which told her that this was for real. Slowly, she calmed down again. It soothed her down to be just close to him…

Unnoticed of her, Logan had moved both of them to the counter and leant against it. He still felt horribly weak and wasn't able to control his movements so well. "Sit down…", he told her softly and helped her up on a chair, before he, too, sat down next to her.

Jean supported her arms on the counter and rested her head in her hands, while she closed her eyes and sighed. Everything was just too much for her right now…

"Logan…"

He turned around and looked at Ororo who slowly came closer, while sobbing heavily. Quickly, she had taken him tightly in her arms and began to cry on his shoulder.

"Someone missed me, eh?", he chuckled weakly, trying to calm her, but it only made her cry harder.

"God, I thought we lost you forever…", Ororo said and looked up at him. "Don't scare me again like that, will ya?"

He wiped away her tears gently. "I'll try…"

She smiled at him and kissed him on the right cheek. She gave him a short hug, before she stepped aside to take care of Jean.

"Sorry…", the red head said and looked at her with tired eyes.

"Forget it!", Storm said and stroked her back gently.

"Good to have you back, Logan!", the Professor said smiling.

"How are you feeling?", Moira asked and stepped forward. "Honestly!"

Before he could answer, someone clung to him tightly. Surprised, Logan looked down, since he hadn't heard anyone coming. Rogue had put her arms around him and sobbed heavily. His eyes softened and he stroked her hair gently. Still, he made sure that she didn't touch his skin completely. "It's okay", he told her.

Scott leant against the fridge, arms folded and watched the scenery before him. It appeared to him that he really missed some stuff when he was gone. Still, he didn't know what to feel and looked down, when Logan's eyes met his.

Logan noticed it, but didn't take any further notice of him. "Honestly?", he grunted and turned to Moira and the Professor again, while calming Rogue. "Strange…"

"In what way?", Moira asked worriedly.

"Dunno. My body just won't listen to me and my senses are down…"

She examined his eyes and checked his pulse. "You're body need rest and you need to eat. You've been unconscious for almost a week. Your body needs to find its way back. It will take some time until you'll be back to normal. Especially without your healing factor…"

Logan frowned.

"You got cured, remember?", Ororo asked since she had noticed his confusion.

"Yeah…", he said dryly. "I know, it's just…"

"What?"

Logan gently pushed Rogue aside. "Hold on a second", he told her and she nodded. He looked around until he found what he was looking for.

"What are you doing?", Moira and Storm shrieked, while Jean looked up in surprise and looked at his bleeding hand.

Logan put the knife aside again. "See?", he asked as he wiped away the blood.

Moira took his hand and looked at it closely. "It's gone…", she said and faced Charles. "The wound has healed…"

Logan sighed. "Can somebody please explain this…?"

"We'll talk about it later, Logan!", Charles interrupted him. "The two of you really need to rest. You can barely sit straight and Jean is almost sleeping, too."

Logan turned his head around and looked into Jean's tired eyes. "He's on…"

"I'll bring you some food!", Storm said.

"Do you need help?", Rogue asked and looked at him. "I can get Bobby or Peter…"

He waved off. "Enough walls around here!" He smiled at her slightly.

"Yeah, but they won't keep you from falling…", she said worriedly.

"We'll be fine, thanks!" Logan laid an arm around Jean's waist and left with her, while Ororo began to put some food and bottles with water on a try.

Rogue sighed and leant against the counter. Her eyes still fixed on the doorway. She didn't know what to think or feel. She had been on her way to the kitchen, when she had heard his voice and immediately had started to run. "I can't believe this…", Rogue only said before she sat down on the chair on which Logan had sat before.

This chapter is actually longer than I had pre-written it. In my first version, Rogue wasn't in the kitchen and her texts were mainly spoken by Storm. Also Scott was only mentioned once when he entered the kitchen. I changed it, because it didn't make sense otherwise. Rogue didn't re-appear in the next chapter, so it wasn't right to not let her meet Logan again after he woke up. And Scott is important for the next chapters, so I had to do something with him. LOL

Well, thanks for all the nice reviews so far! I'm really happy that you enjoy reading it. : ) And you didn't really believe that I would kill off Logan, did ya? ; ) Naaahh, never going to happen! At least not in the versions I have written so far. ; ) Just a hint: In the next chapter you might get confused, so you have to read between the lines! ; )