Rifts and Changes

Chapter Nine: "Anyone wanna hear about the time Gohan went Wolverine berserker because this guy knocked over his ice cream sundae?"

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to the men and women who bought the Lord of the Rings trilogy to the screen and into my life. Okay, so a chapter of a fanfic about DBZ isn't a good enough gesture but guys, have you seen this? If you haven't GO NOW! I COMMAND IT! This film rocks so hard! Be warned, take Kleenex!

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Gohan sat alone upstairs, staring off into the distance. He did not hear the footsteps coming behind him but being the Super Saiya-jin that he was, his instincts kicked in instead. Whoever it was had ended up on the floor.

"Oww! Gundamit Gohan! That really hurt!"

"Nick, I'm so sorry!" Gohan said, helping his best friend up. "My instincts kicked in."

"O…kay." Nicholas replied. "I just came up here to see if you were okay."

"I don't think I'm anywhere near okay right now Nick. My wife is evil, I'm leading my family and friends into a battle I have no idea about, we have no back up plan…did I mention that my wife is evil?"

"Yeah."

"Who the hell do I think I am Nick?"

"Well I dunno who you think you are, but I can tell you what you actually are."

"What's that?"

"One of the best people I know. We trust you Gohan, and there's a reason for that. We believe in you because you've never let us down…intentionally." Nicholas said, sweat-dropping slightly. "Besides, who else is gonna be leader? You're the sanest one here!"

"I suppose."

"I mean, can you imagine me as leader? Everyone would have to have witty one liners and Nat would definitely have to wear some form of spandex…" There was a brief silence.

"Nick?"

"Huh? Oh sorry, my mind drifted."

"You pervo."

"Et tu Gohan?" Nicholas said, pretending to weep. "And as for a back up plan, let us handle that. You gotta remember that you may be the leader but as the saying goes, there's no I in team. At least in English, because in Japanese there so is man."

"Thanks Nick…I think."

"No problem. Wait, what time is it?"

"5am, why?"

"We suit up in about three hours yeah?"

"Yeah…"

"Gotta get some beauty sleep! Last thing I wanna be is an alien spooker!" Nicholas said, as he sped downstairs.

"That man can be so bizarre."

Meanwhile, downstairs…

"Trunks! Trunks wake up!"

"Remy? What the hell? It's not time to get up yet is it?"

"No! I can't wake anyone else up!" Remy said, as Trunks got up sleepily.

"Oh, so I was your last choice?"

"You're not exactly a morning person Trunks."

"It's not even morning so how can you tell? WOAH!" Trunks yelled. Remy took him over to where Cory was and Trunks could not believe his eyes. Somehow, there was a see through image of Videl right in front of Cory and he was talking to it. "How the heck is he doing that?"

"I have no idea, but he's been talking to it for the last ten minutes." Remy said.

"Is it real?"

"Don't think so, she's the one that's evil now right?"

"Yeah. I'm so confused." Trunks sighed.

"It's nothing dangerous, poor kid just misses his mother." Nicholas said.

"WAAAH!!" Trunks and Remy yelled in fright. "Don't do that!"

"Sorry. I think that may be Cory's power. To create illusions like that." Nicholas replied.

"See that? My nephew is bad-ass." Goten said.

"AAAAH! DON'T DO THAT!" Nicholas and Remy yelled, as Remy punched Goten on his arm.

"My nephew is bad-ass?" Trunks asked. "I'm gonna forget I heard that for your sake Goten."

"What the hell is all the noise about?" Andrea asked, and then saw Cory. "It's Videl!" Andrea jumped at the image yelling "Where is David?!" and then hit a wall. "Owww…"

"Andie, are you okay?" Nicholas asked.

"Since when is Videl transparent?!" Andrea cried, getting up.

"Since always." Nicholas replied. "Oh wait, you mean literally. That's not her man."

"Baka onna!"

"Wait, Dad no!" Trunks cried.

*BOOF*

"This is going to be a long morning." Goten sighed.

Later on…

"Everyone's been checked so far?" Gohan said, going over the last minute details.

"Yep, no one has any serious head injuries." Natalie replied. "Although I'm not sure how they all thought that was Videl."

"Even Goten knew it wasn't her." Trunks said.

"Yeah…hey!"

"Can we focus please?" Gohan yelled. They looked at the floor sheepishly. "Right, we don't know what we're going up against up there. We don't know if this will finish it. We don't know if we're coming back. So only a few of us will be going on this mission, and those few will be team alpha." Bra raised her hand. "Yes?"

"Can't we come up with a better name than that? None of us understand Greek." Bra said.

"You're kidding right?" Gohan asked in disbelief. Bra shook her head. "I don't think it's important now."

"Fine, when someone gets confused along the way, don't come running to me."

"I can't believe this is what I'm working with." Gohan sighed, shaking his head. "Okay, team names aside for now. The first team will be the one coming with me to the ship. The second team will be our back up team, should anything go wrong. The third team will be in charge of communication and general damage control and the last team…um well that's just the people that need to be kept out of danger."

"Sorry G, guess you'll be in the last team." Trunks teased.

"Shut up baka." Goten seethed.

"Okay, first team will consist of myself, Zophen, Nick, Andie, Drake, Pan, Krillin and Trunks."

"The hell? How come Drake is going?" Pan asked, rather annoyed.

"Watch your language Pan." Chi-Chi scolded.

"Sheesh, you'd think she hated me or something." Drake commented.

"He doesn't even have any powers!" Pan said.

"Yes, he does Pan. And we can't afford to not put him on the team." Gohan said.

"Then what pray tell kind of powers does he have?" Pan asked, putting her hands on hips and frowning at her father.

"Pray tell?" Cory, Adrian and Daniel asked and promptly started laughing.

"These kind of powers." Drake said, creating a ball of fire with his hands.

"Nani?!" Pan exclaimed, looking at the fireball.

"And that's just a little taster." Drake said. "You just got burned baby." Pan's fists shook violently at her sides as Drake's grin became wider and wider. She stuck her tongue out at him. "Oh choice comeback Pan-chan."

"DO NOT CALL ME THAT!!"

"I can if I want to!"

"No you can't! It's forbidden! Last person that called me that ended up with a black eye!"

"What a load of bollocks! (1) Your uncle just called you that this morning!"

"Drake! Watch your mouth!" Natalie said, smacking her son upside the head (which was a difficult task, considering he was half a foot taller than her).

"Gomen ne…" Drake sighed.

"Enough fighting, this isn't the time to be acting like children." Gohan said sternly.

"Hai…" Both teens replied.

"Second team will be Goten, Marron, #18, Claudia, and CJ if you're up for it, and Bulma if you can get a hold of Tien, Piccolo, Yamcha and any other fighter you can think of. The third team will be Natalie, Bulma, Remy and anyone else that you think will be able to help. Everyone else will stay here with the third team."

"Is that it?" Vegeta said, his left eyebrow twitching violently. Gohan looked at him and blinked.

"Well yes Vegeta…oh hold on, I see what you're getting at. I know being the prince has its rules about pride and junk but Trunks is a skilled martial artist and Bra is not. She'd get hurt if we took her with us." If it were possible, Vegeta' eyebrow began to twitch even more.

"Damn that Son gene sometimes I swear…" Chi-Chi muttered to herself.

"I would not get hurt!" Bra said. Gohan gave her a look. Bra pouted. "Oh fine, maybe I would be a little bit hurt."

"That's not what I'm talking about!" Vegeta roared. "How am I not a part of the first team? Or even the second team?" Gohan sighed.

"I am not going to baby you anymore so here's the basic fact. You are in no shape to fight a little kid let alone an alien army of who knows how many!"

"How da…"

"If you can't stomach that, and you'd rather go out to fight and leave your kids without a father and your wife without a husband, you know where the door is." Gohan said. Vegeta, for one of the few times in his life, was speechless. "I've got more important things to worry about than your bloated ego." Everyone in the room sweat-dropped as Vegeta stormed out.

"When are we going to head out Gohan?" Zophen asked.

"As soon as the ship is ready, how is the ship by the way?" Gohan asked.

"Ready as it's ever gonna be." Bulma replied. Gohan nodded.

"In fifteen minutes, first team to the ship." Gohan said, as he left the room.

"I'm so worried about him, he's a bit too gung ho about this whole thing." Andrea commented to Nicholas quietly.

"He just wants to be the one who brings Videl back." Nicholas said. "He doesn't want anyone else to fight her."

"What if Videl can't be…"

"I don't think he's considered that a possibility."

"It could very well be one though."

"I know Andie, we've just got to keep an eye on him up there."

"Uh oh, incoming message from the big giant head…" (2) Natalie said, as everyone turned to her. "I've always wanted to say that."

"Is it Papa?" Claudia asked. Natalie nodded.

"He says that Videl's gonna do the, um, thing tonight." Natalie said, being careful not to let on the situation to the littler kids. "He doesn't know when but they've been preparing the, um, thingy to do the thing."

"I'm confused." Goten said.

"Sorry," Natalie said, sweat-dropping. "He's been trying…okay, now he's saying he needs to sign off. I'm guessing those guys can tell if he's communicating with me."

"If everyone would follow me in here please." Gohan said, reappearing. Everyone followed him into the spacecraft hangar, to a table where there were an assortment of gadgets and weapons.

"Gadgets!" Nicholas cried.

"Down boy." Natalie commented.

"Bulma has been kind enough to provide us with some weapons to take with us, should we lose our powers for some reason." Gohan said, as he handed out weapons to everyone in the first team. He then took various headsets and handed them to the third team and the first team. "These are communicators so that we can, um, communicate I guess." He replied, sweat-dropping. Gohan felt a tugging at his leg, he looked down and saw Cory. "Hey son."

"Papa, where are you going?" Cory asked.

"I'm going to get your mother."

"She's coming back?"

"Hopefully, son. Hopefully." With this father-son moment, everyone began saying their goodbyes.

"My dad and my husband both drafted to go and save the world. You'd both better come back safe." Marron said, hugging her father and then her husband.

"Don't worry honey, I'll take care of Trunks." Krillin joked, embarrassing Trunks.

"Having half my powers sucks man." Trunks said, in a very dreary voice.

"Mom. We just wanted to tell you…" Adrian began.

"…that what you're doing is so brave and…" Daniel added.

"…you're the best Mom ever!" The twins finished together, giving their mother a quick hug. Andrea sniffed slightly and then smothered her three children in a big bear hug.

"I love you all sooooooo much!" She bawled. "Claudia, be nice to your brothers while I'm gone."

"Yes Mom…" Claudia sighed.

"Both of you please behave yourselves while your in the ship." Natalie said, instructing Drake and Nicholas. "Nick, do not touch the buttons. I don't care how shiny they are! You are a technician, you should know better."

"Hai…"

"Drake, don't argue with Pan! Or Zophen for that matter. The last thing we need is a love triangle okay?"

"Mum, you're embarrassing me!"

"Drake!"

"Hai…"

"Don't bother Gohan with unnecessary questions, eat when everyone else is eating and above all, no showing off. Both of you better come back alive or I'm coming into the afterlife and kicking both your kiesters. Is that clear?"

"Hai sempai!" (3) They said, both saluting.

"I don't know what to do with you both." Natalie sighed. The other Summers children came and hugged their father and brother.

"You gonna miss us Mum?" Drake asked.

"Baka, do you even have to ask?" She embraced him and kissed his forehead. "Watch your dad okay? He's a bit of a nutter."

"I will."

"Hey, I resent that! I am not a nutter. I'm just misunderstood." Nicholas said. "Don't I get a hug?"

"I am still so mad at you." Natalie said. Nicholas pouted. "But how could I stay mad at this adorable mug forever?"

"Yay! I'm out of the doghouse!"

"Temporarily. Until you get back."

"That doesn't give me much incentive to come back you know."

"No, but this will." She pulled him down to her level and kissed him.

"Ewwww!" Their children all said in disgust.

"Mum! That's so disgusting. I'm standing right here." Drake said, screwing up his face.

"Ay chiwawa…!" Nicholas sighed, with a big goofy grin on his face.

"Gohan, can I talk to you for a minute?" Chi-Chi asked, as she ushered her oldest son away from everyone else. "I realise how hard this is going to be for you. Your father does too. Just please promise me you'll do your best to come back alive."

"I'm going to bring Videl back Kaasan. No matter what it takes."

"That's what worries me Gohan. You cannot think like that. I may not have liked that you and your father were always off saving the world but there was always one thing that stuck in my mind, you both fighting so that others could live. That's what always made me so proud of both of you. That selflessness is one of the things I love about your father."

"Forgive me for asking, but where is this going?"

"Videl may not be able to come back right away. If you can't get her back this time, don't lose everything and everyone in the process. Every defeat just means more experience and wisdom for next time."

"I appreciate what you're saying Kaasan, but I am bringing Videl back. It's my fault for not protecting her. That's why this happened." Gohan said. Chi-Chi looked at him worried. "Please don't worry Kaasan, we'll come back."

"You had better hope so." Chi-Chi said, smiling sadly.

"So, what are you supposed to do if you get an opponent who's too big for you?" Goten asked.

"Run like hell." Pan replied.

"And if you're cornered?"

"Kick him in the crotch."

"And if it's a lady?"

"Pull her pants down and run away."

"And these methods are to be used?"

"Only as a last resort."

"Good girl." Goten grinned.

"I'm not sure I approve of these fighting methods Goten." Goku said.

"It's only a last resort Tousan. She's small for her age and if her powers are taken away…"

"I still don't like it."

"What do you mean I'm small for my age?!" Pan cried, as she kicked Goten in the shin.

"OW! DARN IT PAN!" Goten cried, being careful to watch his language with his mother so close by. "On second thought, I think you'll be just fine…Pan-chan."

"QUIT IT!"

"Nya ha ha!" (4) Goten snickered.

"Is everyone suited up?" Gohan yelled. A chorus of 'yes's rose from the first team as they got in a line. "Right, let's get in the ship." The first team piled on to the ship, strapped themselves in and waited for blast off.

"Everyone strapped in?" Bulma asked.

"Roger that." Gohan replied. Without warning, she pushed the blast off button and the ship took off.

"NO WARNING BULMA?! THE HELL?!" Krillin could be heard yelling through Bulma's earpiece. Bulma snickered slightly.

"I keep feeling like we're forgetting something…" Vegeta said, as he went into deep thought.

"Hey, whatever happened to that guy we captured?" Goku asked innocently.

"Shish kebabs! He's still in the basement!" Goten said as he ran downstairs.

"What do we do now?" Natalie asked.

"We wait. They're not gonna be anywhere near the ship for hours." Bulma replied.

"Obaachan, I'm bored. Can we watch more cartoons?" Cory asked Chi-Chi.

"Okay, but no violent ones." Chi-Chi replied.

"Don't worry Mrs Son, I'll set it up for them." Remy said, as she scooted the kids into the living room. "Who wants to watch X-Men?" (5)

"No violent ones!" Chi-Chi called after them.

"Okay…how about Spongebob Squarepants?" (6)

"What's that?" Cory asked.

"Ah, son of Gohan, what an education you are about to receive." Remy smiled.

Meanwhile, on board the spaceship…

"Is he still blowing chunks in there?" Andrea asked. Gohan nodded. "Who knew he was so squeamish?"

"I am not squeamish!" Nicholas protested from the bathroom. "Space travel happens to be something very new to me!"

"You've been on the fastest rollercoaster on Earth while eating a cheeseburger." Andrea said.

"Exactly! On Earth! Not some dark abyss that's void of life. In space, no one can hear you scream." Nicholas said. (7)

"You watch too many horror movies." Gohan commented. "How are we doing for time Trunks?"

"Judging by the co-ordinates that Zophen gave us, we should be there in about two hours." Trunks replied.

"That long huh?"

"I'm afraid so. We can't really propel ourselves any faster without breaking up the material of the ship."

"What the heck are we gonna do for two hours?" Krillin asked. There was a silent pause.

"Anyone wanna hear about the time Gohan went Wolverine berserker because this guy knocked over his ice cream sundae?" Nicholas asked. Suddenly everyone except Gohan, who was hiding his face in embarrassment, surrounded him. "Okay, Gohan was already in a really bad mood…"

Back on Earth…

"I can't believe we almost forgot about you." Goten said, as he walked into the basement. Hamelis scoffed.

"Your security down here is appalling, I could have escaped a thousand times by now." Hamelis said.

"Yes, but you haven't." Goten smirked as he leaned against a wall, putting his hands behind his head. "That would be because my knots kick ass son."

"Aren't you Son?"

"It's an Earth expression, you wouldn't understand."

"I would not have expected you to understand."

"For the last @!£$%*#& time, I am not STUPID!"

"That's not what I meant. You are not from this planet either."

"Yes I am, on my mother's side."

"Pathetic. Live on one place too long and you automatically call it home. Have you no loyalties to your own home planet?"

"You mean the bits of rubble and rock floating through space? Sorry, can't seem to find an attachment to it."

"I can see that. You have an attachment this planet, their way of life, their women…" Hamelis took a slight pause to smirk at Goten. "Too bad you don't realise how false your investment in these things is." Goten drew in a sharp breath before walking over to Hamelis and punching him in the face.

"You can insult me all you want, but you NEVER talk about her like that. Got it?"

"You fool, you have no idea." Hamelis laughed. Goten raised an eyebrow. "Peaked your interest, have I?"

"Anything you say will be a filthy lie." Goten said through his teeth.

"Then what's the harm in listening to what I have to say?" Hamelis asked. "We've been watching you most of your life Goten, you think we don't know what's going on around you?" Goten rolled his eyes.

"Okay, give it your best shot."

"Paresu, your ex-wife. She's the reason your beloved CJ left when you were in high school."

"Bull."

"It's true. The attempted rape by that Dominic fellow, stellar guy by the way, was set up by her."

"Paresu may not have liked CJ, but she would never do anything like that."

"Oh but she would. At least, at that time she would have. All those years you were together changed her into a better person, but even you know what she was like back then." Goten sucked his teeth in anger.

"Even if that's true, CJ would have told me. She would have told someone."

"But she did. She told Trunks, and that other girl who owns this place. For some reason she forgot to tell you though."

"You lie. Even if CJ was lying to protect my feelings, Trunks would tell me."

"Are you so sure?" Hamelis asked. Goten clenched his fists. Hamelis looked up. "There is your lady now, why don't you ask her?" CJ walked down the stairs and observed the situation.

"Woah, tense. What's up Spikes, this guy giving you grief?" CJ asked. Goten took CJ by the shoulders and pulled her close to him. "I don't this is the place for a session of passion Goten."

"CJ, for the love of God, please tell me it's not true."

"What Goten?"

"Please don't lie to me, I can take it!"

"Goten, you're scaring me. What's going on?" CJ said, removing Goten's hands from her shoulders.

"Did Paresu organise the whole Dominic thing?"

"Goten, I really don't feel comfortable talking about…"

"CJ, please." Goten looked straight into her eyes. She looked at him as long as she could before turning her gaze to the floor.

"I'm so sorry Goten…"

"So it's true." Goten said. He turned around and punched Hamelis in anger.

"Talk about shooting the messenger." Hamelis muttered.

"Damn it CJ, why didn't you tell me?" Goten said angrily.

"I couldn't tell you." CJ said quietly.

"Why the hell not?!" Goten yelled.

"Because it wouldn't be fair on you! And don't yell at me!"

"Fair on me?! I married her CJ. I married someone who got so jealous she could've got you killed! What if she had done the same thing to some other girl who may have liked me?"

"Things have changed since then Goten." CJ said firmly.

"What? You saying I can't attract the ladies anymore? Well I got you lady, and there are plenty of girls who like me thank you much."

"Not you, baka. Paresu. She has changed a lot since then."

"But that doesn't change the fact that you lied to me. You kept something from me and asked Remy and Trunks to keep quiet about it. I mean, did you want me to suffer?"

"Of course not! That's why I didn't tell you!" CJ yelled. Goten blinked.

"Come again?"

"I…you know what Goten. Screw you." CJ said. "I don't need to stand here and let you berate me like a child. I did what I thought was best and if you'd rather listen to that scum than to me…well I guess that just shows what you think of me." CJ started to storm up the stairs.

"CJ wait!"

"No, and don't come after me. I don't wanna talk to you." CJ said. "At least until you've calmed down and taken your head out of your butt." She left him standing there.

"ARG! She is so friggin stubborn!" Goten said, kicking the staircase…and then grabbing his foot in pain. "Having half my powers sucks."

Back on the spacecraft…

"Daddy, I never knew you had such a short temper." Pan said, in awe. Gohan looked down embarrassed.

"Yup, that's my boy." Nicholas grinned proudly.

"You definitely get your temper from Grandma, Daddy." Pan said.

"Oh I second that." Krillin said. "Believe me, I've got the bumps and scars to prove it." Before anyone else could joke at Gohan's expense, the ship's alarms started to go off.

"What the…" Before Gohan could finish, the ship began a very fast decent. "EVERYONE INTO YOUR SEATS QUICK!" The ship halted just as quickly as it had started.

"Woah, that was quite a jolt Freak." Nicholas said, in a feminine voice. (8)

"Zophen, any ideas what that was?" Gohan asked.

"Yep, we just broke through the enemy's force field. We've got ten minutes before we make contact." Zophen replied.

"Okay, team 3 are you there?" Gohan asked through his headset.

"We're here Gohan." Bulma replied. "Good luck you guys."

"Don't I get a good luck Nat?" Nicholas asked coyly.

"You'll get my foot up your @$$ if you don't do as you're told." Natalie replied. Everyone giggled at the married couple.

"The suspense is killing me, what can we do to kill time?" Pan whined. There was a brief silence.

"Anyone wanna hear about how Chi-Chi got Goku to marry her?" Krillin asked. Everyone crowded around him. "Okay, so they were about 18 at the time…"

To Be Continued…

Okay, so it's kind of a cliffhanger but if there weren't it wouldn't be an ongoing series would it? Ah, a paradox. Anyways, I'll try and get the next chapter out ASAP. Bye!

(1) "Bollocks" is the British version of…balls basically. ^_^()

(2) This is a reference to the show Third Rock From The Sun.

(3) In English, this would translate to "Yes ma'am."

(4) This is the laugh that Ed from Cowboy Bebop does oh so comically (in the Japanese version).

(5) Remy is referring to the 90s cartoon series based on the popular comic series. Even though it is not as violent as the comics, it was still a lot more violent than most cartoons today (which is a darn shame).

(6) This is a Nickelodeon cartoon about sea creatures and…you just gotta watch it to know.

(7) This is a reference to the movie Aliens.

(8) This is a reference to an episode of Freakazoid called the "Island of Dr…" I forget the rest of the title. Nicholas is imitating Steph, who in turn is imitating an old movie.