It is three years later that I have a problem. A very big problem. A problem that doesn't involve Crowley...directly.

I had had my concerns before then. He had stopped drawing blood about half a year ago. I hadn't seen him in two years. Not even to torment me. So I was curious. Terrified really. Waiting for a shoe to drop.

So when I open my front door to find a woman in a suit, a nice suit, who reaches out to touch me; I panic and back up. Then everything happens at once.

The angel touches my head to try to read me and recoils.

I feel pain as a bullet hits my brain.

I see black smoke in the distance.

I die.

Again.

I fly for hours until I flit between a now and a here and a then, concepts that shouldn't be places or things that I can see, but can. I flit around, pulled by something, until a man in a black suit finds me. He stares at me as I fly by and gives chase. He gets closer and reaches out to touch me.

"How are you out of your body? Shouldn't you be waiting for your reaper?" He almost touches me when I'm suddenly grabbed by something else and pulled along. Scenes flash by until they blur into green, then black, then red. Whatever is carrying me slows down and pads through dark halls filled with screams.

Hell.

Hellhound.

I'm brought through a door and see Crowley sitting behind a desk, writing something. I immediately feel a pull toward him, towards the missing piece of my soul. The Hellhound growls and holds on. At the sound Crowley looks up, and sighs.

"Everyone out. I need to deal with this one personally." I can sense shuffling behind me and the doors close. Crowley stands up and looks at me.

"Good girl, drop it." I fall to the ground by his feet, the spit from the Hellhound somehow anchoring me, weighing me down, slimily. Crowley picks me up and regards me. "What trouble have you gotten into now Chew Toy? If it's your fault...well." He turns me around and looks at me, and chuckles.

"You know, I missed you, I really did. I wonder if I should wait to find out from my demons what happened, or find out from you?" I finally see something on his face that concerns me. The slightest strain. It happens for just a second, and his face remains cool and calculated as if it didn't. "I was just thinking the other day 'Crowley, you've been working so hard, you deserve a little break.' Now you're here, and I don't believe in coincidences." I feel cold fear encompass me as he tosses me in the air. I can't do anything but fall, feeling that terrifying pull towards the missing piece of my soul as I'm weighed down by disgusting Hellhound saliva. Red smoke rushes out and grabs me, and I'm pulled down to my deadly prison. Crowley sits for a moment, running something around in his mouth as I cower, tremble, sure that I'm about to die, again, slowly. I'm sure that he's tasting me.

Instead he spits a glop of clear wet stuff on the ground and glares at the Hellhound.

"More teeth, less tongue next time. Now shoo. Daddy's got some soul searching to do." The Hellhound leaves and I panic, scream in fear, as I'm once again imprisoned in red.

"Oh, we haven't reached that point of the night yet. We need to get reacquainted first."

There is a knock at the door. Crowley pauses his internal examination of me and sighs, gently allowing me to just willingly exude new information instead of tearing it out.

"Come." The door opens and I walk in. Or my body does. Crowley blinks, then nods. "Angels?"

"Yessir." Crowley regards the demon and then smiles slightly.

"Good job Bartholomew. What do you know about this body now?"

"Uhm…"

"I thought so." Crowley snaps and a corpse appears. Exsanguinated, shirtless, lying on its back and dead eyed, but usable. "Here's your new meatsuit. Leave that one and wait in the antechamber for your debriefing."

"Yessir."

"If I find out you have gone anywhere else, talked to anyone else, before talking with me...do I need to say more?"

"No sir."

"Good… …. Well Go!" The demon quickly ejects himself from my body and enters the other. The corpse shakes and sits up. As soon as it stands Crowley and I are behind the demon with an angel blade, plunging it into its chest from the back. It screams, lighting up with that internal lightning, and falls, smoldering. Crowley frowns.

"What a waste." He drops the blade and goes over to look at my body. "Mostly dead, but salvageable." Heh, like Princess Bride. "What?" He shakes his head as he explores my soul for memories and then snorts. "Yes, like that. And it will be just as hard to return you." Why? It's in the contract. You can do what you want to fix up my meat suit. Why should it be hard?

"Because it will give me a break from the documents I'm being incessantly handed and it's so much more fun, using mummy's old spell book directly against her wishes." Huh, so Rowena was real.

He works for a day; magic, runes, mixtures. I watch it, but don't understand a thing. Finally, with my body covered in a black ichor and encircled in runes, Crowley is satisfied. He nods, and speaks a language I don't recognize .

"Sanar aquest cosifer-lo sencer." The body sits up. "Recitea." We are flying, he is flying, I am along for the ride. We rush into the reanimated body and like a rock in a sling he deposits me there, returning to his own meat suit before it even hits the floor. A completely unnecessary show of power that was terrifying, probably the point.

I breathe in. He stands, and I watch him from the floor, naked and covered in goo. He chuckles a derisive laugh but frowns, and says words I never thought I would hear in a million years.

"We need to amend our contract." I blink.

"What?"

"I want to make an addendum to our contract. Not an extension, but an addendum. One of the very few to ever be made to a demon contract." I sigh. This couldn't be good.

"What is it?"

"I want you to lose the ability to be healed, by anyone other than me." I blink.

"What? Why?"

"I have reasons, don't you trust me?"

"Fuck no."

"I'm wounded. Can you see the tears in my eyes?" I frown, pursing my lips, swallowing, trying to get some of the gunk, and the taste of demon, out of my mouth.

"And what do I get in return?"

"Why should you get anything?"

"Because that's how deals work."

"It's for your own safety."

"Really?" He smiles at my question. A slight nod, one barely acknowledging the fact that I was anything other than a tool, or a high… or a Chew Toy.

"Really." I sigh at his answer. He has a very easy way out of this contract. Probably many. I stop. And smile.

I know what I want, perhaps he might give it to me.

"I want two things."

"Bold of you to assume I care." I roll my eyes. He may not care, but he is curious. Any information I gave him could be used against me.

"I want to know why you haven't let me die, and I want to know how much of the goddamn show is true." He looks at me, then swallows and shakes his head. A wave of his hand and a familiar contract appears. Marked in red, with two signatures at the bottom. A new section appears below them and a place for two more signatures.

"Fine. Sign, and then woo me?" I sigh and look over the addendum and smile, seeing a very obvious problem.

"Crowley."

"Yes Chew Toy?"

"Do you take me for an idiot?"

"I mean…if not you're fairly close. To have made a deal with a demon..." I ignore the jab, meant to raise hackles, it may work on the Hardy Boys, but I'm too used to verbal abuse.

"I've spent years with you, I've read and written books with characters that fit you to a t. Did you really think I wouldn't notice that it doesn't stipulate that what you tell me has to be the truth?" He huffs a slight laugh.

"Can't blame a girl for trying." With a wave the words change. I reread them and nod.

"Add no lies of omission, and that you have to actually answer the questions within an hour or so of when I ask, and I'm good." At this he frowns a bit but the words appear. "Pen please." It appears in my hand and I sign. His signature appears just as it had years ago. The contract vanishes and I sigh. He waves a hand and the goop is gone, and I'm stark naked. I can feel him right behind me. Waiting for the kiss that I wasn't even sure was necessary. Probably just wanted to make me uncomfortable. I was far too tired to be.

Or so I thought.

"Look, I know that as soon as I turn around you'll be inches away, with" I'm spun in place and bent over backward on his arm, held in a dancer's pose as he kisses me. I open my mouth in surprise and feel a tug, and once again, I lose a piece of myself. He pulls me up and casts me away, into a wall. My back hits and I shake my head, dazed and turned around. I'm dizzy from the impact, and losing another piece of my fucking soul.

"Delicious. As always. Now." There is a snap and my skull aches. I fall to the floor, the pressure immense. "There you go, protection from those pesky doll faced pigeons." I glare at him. The first contract didn't hurt, and I was a little pissed at being accosted.

"I thought I had to initiate the kiss. Give it up freely." He waves a hand and I'm pulled up from the floor.

"Darling, you're already my whore. I can kiss you whenever I want." I mean, he is right. I already have a contract with him. This was an addendum...different rules. "Now, shall we go on that lovely honeymoon and do it the way it should have happened all those years ago?"

"You mean with me bleeding out and you tripping balls, covered in blood?"

"So crass. No. I mean with proper Bloody Marys, from Hell."

"Lemme guess, with real blood."

"How did you know?" He says with a blank face. I sigh.

"Fine, but I'd like you to answer my first question before we jump off into lala land."

"You mean why I didn't let you die?"

"Uh, yeah." He stands, moves from his place leaning on a nearby chair and circles me. I try to turn to watch him, but can't. I can't move at all. I hear his steps and cringe. Something is coming.

Suddenly his hand sits on my shoulder.

"Why? Because I genuinely enjoy your company." I tense. No. That couldn't be the truth, the whole truth. I wait. He delivers, and I regret it. "Watching you struggle with what you've done, better than most of my shows. The way I feel-" his hands close hard on my shoulders and he whispers next to my ear. "when I'm inside you." I cringe, closing my eyes, it is all innuendo, but I can't, I can't just... His hands leave and now I have no clue where he is, whether the next thing I will feel is pain, or something that could possibly be worse. I believe that such things are too crude for him, but I… I am too scared and anxious to discount anything. He knows it, he revels in it.

I close my eyes tighter and swallow, knowing if I move, even though I can't, I'm fucked in a hundred ways. "The emotions you give me when I make you dance? Darling. You are the best Chew Toy a bitch from Hell could ask for. You being alive? Each experience you have, only adds more flavor for when-" I twitch as he touches the front of my face, suddenly in front of me. "You come home." His hand leaves me abruptly and I can suddenly breathe. "And you make a passable cocktail." I inhale, and I can move. There is a sound and I am clean and clothed again. I take yet another shaky breath, looking at the demon who had literally brought me to Hell. Who was far worse than my worst nightmares. Far worse than I thought when we met. And Far FAR worse than the show I enjoyed could ever be... unless it got a remake on HBO. A random thought, but true.

He stands, observing my complete and utter breakdown, then nods.

"So go up, and experience some things for me darling. We have eternity for that honeymoon." He snaps his fingers, and I'm home.

And two years later I find out how right he was to make that addendum.