Changes Chapter 29
Jean sighed and bent her head down after the Dangerroom session was over. She had seen everything, heard everything…but still she couldn't believe it. She turned around to face the Professor who sat with his fingers folded in his wheelchair and was deep in thoughts in the Control room. She wanted to say something, but somehow she couldn't… If this hadn't been a simulation only…everyone would have been dead by now… well, everyone except Logan maybe…, she thought and looked down to the Dangerroom again. Her eyes became sad when she saw how the X-Men argued with each other. She almost felt their anger against Scott all the way up to where she was sitting.
"Jean…", Charles suddenly said and she turned her head again. "What do you think?"
She shook her head. "I don't know what to think, honestly… I can't even believe it!" Jean swallowed and looked down again. "Something like that…has never happened before…"
"I know…", he answered. "And I think you've noticed where the problem was?"
Sadly, she slowly nodded her head. "Scott…"
Charles came closer until he was right next to her. Gently, he laid his hand on hers. "The two of you have to settle things with him… His hate against Logan would have killed them during a real battle…" He stared at the woman who was in advanced stage of pregnancy now completely serious.
"I know…", she sighed. "Logan already tried to get out of Scott's way, but…" She shook her head. "I doubt that Scott will ever accept it." Desperately, she looked at her opposite. "I'm even worried that he'll ever accept our children in his class…if he will even be able to look at them…"
Charles leant back and took a closer look on her. He had noticed the weird undertone… Suddenly, it hit him. "You want to leave?"
Jean smiled sadly. "This is my home… But I doubt I can keep Logan from hurting Scott forever…not if things go on like this…" She turned her head towards Logan who was arguing with Scott right now. "But I doubt that we would ever be safe anywhere outside the mansion… Not with Magneto knowing about us…"
He nodded. "Let's meet them in my office. We definitely have a lot of things to discuss." He pushed a button and spoke into the microphone.
XXX
Only few minutes later, they were gathered in Professor X's office. The tension between the mutants in the room couldn't be denied. Charles noticed that Logan and Jean sat on the sofa, while Scott sat on a chair on the opposite side of them. The others stood more closely to Logan… He sighed. "As you all have noticed", Charles began and looked to and fro between them. "…this mission would have ended deadly for nearly all of you, if it had been a real one… The tension and anger between all of you can't be denied… But I need you to realize that we can't fail during a real battle!" He looked at them with a piercing gaze. "Too many lives depend on us! And I am not only talking about the students at school here…"
Most of the mutants looked down, but still they felt the anger becoming stronger within them. "We wouldn't have failed if our leader…", Storm looked towards Scott. "…had done his job correctly!"
"I made a mistake at the very end, I know that!", Scott shot back while clenching his fists.
"You made mistakes through out the whole mission, Scott!", she gave back while getting up. "You didn't know what to do, which orders to give… If Logan hadn't taken over the leadership, we would have been either dead way earlier or would have lost teammates!"
He snorted. "Why did I know that you'd say that part with him…"
"Because she's right", Bobby said loudly. "Jubilee would have been dead, because first you wanted her to stay in that container and afterwards you intended to shoot beams at her…"
"And I still don't understand what had gotten into you when you told us to regroup at the main entrance…", Storm added while folding her arms in front of her chest.
"Damn it, I said I'm sorry!", Scott nearly yelled in anger and got up. "I made mistakes, fine…"
"Mistakes which would have killed us all!", Ororo added coldly and both shot deadly looks at each other. She turned towards the Professor. "I'm sorry, but I'm not willing to follow his leadership during a real battle… I don't trust his judgments anymore, because…"
"Oh, but you trust him, don't you!", Scott shot at her while feeling offended and nodded towards Logan, who, as the Professor had noticed, had stayed calm so far. Still, Charles knew that the X-Man was boiling within… Scott shook his head in frustration. He couldn't believe how much had changed during one year…
"At least he's more a team player than you are currently!", Ororo gave back.
"Yeah?", he asked sarcastically and shot a look at Jean. "I wonder why…"
"Scott!", Charles said and hoped that he could calm him down again. "You've been gone for over y year… You don't know all the changes, how the younger X-Men have improved during that time…", he explained calmly. "You might start to train again first,…but the exercise has clearly shown that you're not capable to led them right now…"
Scott snorted and shook his head. "It wasn't my fault that I was gone so long, was it?"
Offended, Jean looked down. She couldn't believe that he'd just attacked her, too. Even if he'd not addressed her directly, she'd noticed the accusing undertone. Suddenly, she felt how Logan clenched his fists. "Don't…, please!", she whispered, but he still stared at the man on the other side of the room as if he was already seizing him up for a coffin…
Charles had sighed and supported his arms on the large table. "Jean is the second in command after Scott…", he began and noticed that Logan's eyes had switched to him warningly. "…since she can't take part into battles at the moment and, as far as I know, doesn't feel ready for it, Storm is the next in command."
Storm shook her head. "I won't lead them…"
"Why not? You did it before…", Charles asked her surprised.
"I did too many mistakes… And during the training mission, I felt lost when we got trapped in that room. I didn't know what to do… The same happened to me on Alcatraz…", she explained.
Charles sighed. He'd known that it would come to that point some day. He knew what she was up to…, nevertheless, he asked her. "So what do you suggest?"
Storm put her hands to her hips. "We need a strong leader, someone who's experiences and can teach us and handle situations… Someone we can depend on!" Slowly, she turned around. "He should do it!"
"Me! Are ya drunk?" Logan raised an eyebrow at her. He stared at her and the others, since everyone was looking at him. She'd to be joking…
"I think Logan should lead us from now on", Ororo said again to the Professor, being completely serious.
Charles nodded, while Scott gave a derisive laugh. "Logan, what do you think?"
"Not gonna happen!", Logan only grunted.
"Why not!", Storm asked him and also the other were staring at him in surprise. "You've proven that you can easily do it… It was you who lead us down there!" She looked at him uncomprehendingly.
He shook his head. "I said no!"
"Logan, only because of you we'd still be alive if Scott hadn't intervened…", Hank said, but Logan only shook his head. Frustrated, Beast jumped out of his chair. "It was YOU who beat most members of the Brotherhood all by himself. YOU lead us safely and even took over the defense strategies… So why not!"
"I said no, damn it!", Logan grunted and got up to look out of the window. His hands deeply buried into his pockets. Jean tried to talk to him mentally, but it didn't work. Frustrated she looked down on her hands.
"We have to accept his decision…", Charles said to the others who were still in some kind of slight shock. They'd believed he would do it. They wanted him to do it…
"No, I'm not accepting this!", Storm suddenly said and shook her head in disagreement. "Logan, I know we've distrusted you after Mystique…"
"Jesus, Storm!", Logan said loudly and looked at her. "This has nothing to do with it!"
"Then what is it?", she asked since she didn't understand his cold attitude.
"I'm not a leader…", he growled and turned around again.
Scott smirked. "Is that your interpretation of responsibility? I thought you changed so much…and that you're someone they can depend on…"
"Scott!", Jean said insistently. "Leave it!"
"Why? It's the truth!", he shot back. "You told me he changed and you call him someone you can depend on and what is he doing? He leaves you alone! Because he is a loner who only thinks about himself! That's why!", he said angrily before he turned to Jean. "And he will do the same to you!"
"Just shut up, will ya?", Hank hissed at him, since he had noticed how Logan has tensed his muscles. He only waited for the familiar snikt…before Logan would slice Scott into pieces. Hank even wondered how his friend could even hold back so much…he himself would have attacked his opposite by now.
"Okay, that's it!", Jubilee said and got up. "Who's for Logan to be our new leader?", she asked and raised her hand. It didn't take long and Storm raised it, followed by Rogue, Bobby, Peter, Hank and Kitty. Logan watched them in the mirage of the window and saw that Warren raised his hand, too. He sighed. Why couldn't they just leave it?
"Jean?". Storm asked and looked at her frowning.
"it is his decision…we can't make him do it if he doesn't want to…", she answered calmly without looking at Storm.
"Besides this", Hank said. "Would you follow him during a battle?"
"Of course!", she said, while looking at Logan who shook his head. She felt his tension becoming stronger within him.
"Scott?", Charles asked even if he already knew the answer. "What about you?" He looked at his former student waiting for an answer, but Scott refused to react…
Logan kept on looking out of the window, staring at the pond where he had spent lots of time with Jean. His arms were folded in front of his chest, while his heart was racing. He didn't know why, but he felt scared…
"Why do you refuse to accept it?", Jeans voice suddenly echoed in his head.
He caught her eyes in the window. "Because I can't lead them."
"Why? You already did and you did a great job…"
"Because I had to do it…", he answered mentally. "I'm not a leader, Jean. I can't do it! I'm not even capable of following orders myself, so how should I lead others?"
Sadly, she broke eye contact for a moment, before she looked at him again. "They trust you, Logan!", he heard her suddenly say aloud and turned his head in surprise. "Look at them! They trust you! They look up to you!" She searched for a sign in his eyes, anything that could tell her precisely what he was thinking. Logan noticed that everyone was staring at him again. "We need a strong leader, Logan… Someone who is capable of pushing us if necessary. It was you who gave the orders down there, I've seen it! You made them fight again, because you acted like a leader after you realized that Scott was wrong…" Jean looked at him pleadingly, ignoring Scott's shocked look at her. "Please, Logan…if not you, who else?"
"Logan you did it on Alcatraz, too!", Storm suddenly said. "You said we would stand together…"
"And you've seen where it had led us, haven't ya?", Logan said angrily.
"Yeah…", she nodded challenging. "We've won!"
"At what costs, Storm?", he shot back loudly and turned his head away.
He took a deep breath and thought about Jean's words. He couldn't deal with so much responsibility… He hated it. It wasn't in his nature to be the leader, it just didn't fit… What if he failed again? What if he was responsible for someone dying again? He didn't want to experience this feeling again…
"She was right, you did it in Alcatraz, too…", the voice at the back of his head said.
"That was different… I had to!", he thought back.
"You did it down there, too…", the voice echoed.
"Yeah, because I HAD TO!", Logan answered again. He ran a hand through his hair and looked at the pond again, while he also noticed the students who were playing on the outside. No, he couldn't do it…it was too much responsibility for him to handle… "You're going to be a father of twins soon, pal!", the voice said again. "Time to deal with being responsible for something!" Logan knew that the voice was right…but still…
"What are you afraid of?", Jean asked him mentally again.
"You already know it…", he thought back. "That I fail…"
"I can't fight, Logan…neither can Rogue… So who do you think should protect our children if not you? You can do it! I know that…" She looked at him pleadingly, knowing that he noticed it.
"Logan, please…", Rogue suddenly said begging. "You protected us all alone back then when Stryker attacked us… Without you, we would be dead now…"
Logan sighed again, knowing that everyone was still staring at him, waiting for a final answer. He also knew that they were right with the things they said before…. "Fine…", he finally grunted.
Charles smiled. "Then it is settled."
"So it seems…", Logan said and returned to Jean's side who kissed him on the cheek. "But don't even dare to think that I give a damn about your complaints if Wolverine shows up!"
"That would be all for now…", the Professor said and looked at the X-Men smiling. "Go and get some rest."
They got up and prepared to leave. "Hey, Logan…", Hank said and laid a hand on the other mutants shoulder who turned around. "Congrats!", he said.
"Don't mention it!", Logan growled still feeling pissed.
"By the way, do you know how to plaster walls?" His opposite gave him his best are-you-kidding-look. "We fixed your wall as good as we could, but we still need to plaster it…"
"Dunno…", Logan shook his head while Jean took hold of his hand. "Never done it before…"
"Me neither…", Hank said.
"Well, then let's try it!", Logan said smirking. He could only destroy the wall completely, so who cares… Hank had to laugh and together they left the room.
Scott just wanted to walk past them as the voice of the Professor sounded. "Scott, please wait! I need to speak with you in private."
The man sighed and watched how the others left and closed the door behind them. Charles came closer and looked at him closely. "What were you thinking, he asked him, since he still couldn't believe it. "You never made so many mistakes…"
"I know…", Scott said barely audible.
Charles sighed. "Look, I know the situation with Jean and you is very difficult for you…" He didn't break eye contact. "But your hate of Logan would have killed them all during a real mission… You have to talk with them!"
Scott shook his head, while he put his hands to his hips. "I can't talk with him!"
"They at least with Jean!", Charles requested and looked at him piercingly.
XXX
A few days later, Jean walked down the corridor on her way to her temporary room. Lost in thoughts, she looked at the new ultrasound pictures. Moira had confirmed her worries that she might give birth way earlier than planned… Her feelings hadn't betrayed her… She looked up when she heard Logan's voice. She watched Hank and him plastering the wall on the outside of their old room. After days of trying to finish it from the inside, they'd finally managed to repair it properly. Jean smiled at them when they looked up, putting the pictures into her pocket. "Hey guys…", she greeted them and stopped.
"Already back?", Logan asked her and got up from the ground, his face dirty from working.
"Yeah…", she said smiling, while wiping off the dirt from his cheeks gently.
"And?", he asked her softly and watched her doing it.
"…everything's fine…", Jean said without looking at him. "Are you done here?"
Logan turned and faced the wall. "Nearly…"
"We still need to do a bit more on it. But I think we'll be done in about 15 minutes…", Hank said smiling.
"Okay…", Jean said and gave Logan a kiss on the now clean cheek. "I'll go and shower. See ya later!"
"Hey!", Logan said urgently. She turned and saw him smirking, while his eyes had this special shine in them. "I could probably think about a good reason for ya to wait fifteen more minutes…at least if you want to have a cleaned back…" She immediately smiled before she walked down the corridor. Logan turned around to help Hank again.
"You are so lucky…", the blue man said and shook his head in disbelief. Suddenly, he noticed that Logan had become completely serious again. "What's wrong?"
"Being so lucky is the problem…", his opposite grunted.
Hank frowned. "What do you mean?"
Logan kept on working on the wall. He didn't turn to look at him. "Lucky things never happened to me…"
"Well,…especially then you should be happy…"
Logan let the tool sink to the ground. Finally, he looked at Hank. "If they did,…they never lasted long…"
Hank nodded in understanding as he realized what his opposite meant. "So,…you're worried?"
The other man paid attention to his work again and shrugged. "Dunno…maybe it's nothing…"
