Changes Chapter 30

She couldn't tell how long she already stood in front of the door. Her heart was racing in her chest and she couldn't ignore the lump in her throat. Timid, she raised her hand and knocked at the door. After it, she even felt more nervous than before…

It didn't take long until the door was opened and a man with red glasses came into view. "Jean…", Scott said in surprise and noticed that he stared at her. He felt his heart kicking into high gear immediately…she was too damn beautiful…

She made sure no one saw her. "Can I come in?"

"Sure…", he said and stepped aside, watching her stepping into his room. He closed the door and joined her…

XXX

"Hey…"

Logan turned around and saw Storm smiling down at him. "Hey ya, back!"

She sat down on the large sofa next to him. The TV room was surprisingly completely deserted at this hour. "All alone?"

"Yeah…", he said and handed over a small bowl full of M&M's.

"Thanks", Storm said and took some from it. "I always thought you hated sweets?"

"Except those ones…"

Frowning, she looked at him. Something wasn't right; she could really sense it… "What's bothering you?"

Logan swallowed another M&M. "Nothing."

She sighed. "Come on, Logan! It's written on your forehead that something isn't right!" She eyed him suspiciously from the side and suddenly saw him turning towards her. Instinctively, she took his hand, ignoring the strange look he gave her. "What's wrong?", she asked softly.

"I don't know…", Logan finally said. He paused for a brief moment and stared at the bowl, before he sighed. He knew Storm; she wouldn't give up before he talked to her. "…my senses are warning me…"

Ororo nodded. "Maybe you're just getting nervous because of the birth…"

He shook his head. "No…"

She smiled at him. "You don't need to feel embarrassed, Logan… It's something even you men won't forget!"

"It's not because of that, 'Ro…" He looked at her directly and she noticed the weird expression in his eyes immediately.

"What then?", she asked calmly. "Is something wrong with Jean?"

"I don't know…" He lowered his gaze. "When I'm close to her…my senses crack…"

"Crack?", she asked frowning without breaking eye contact. She began to feel really worried. If it had such a great impact on him…then it was serious…

"Usually, it only happens if something's about to happen…"

"You mean…as a warning sign?"

"Yeah, something like that…" He nodded, while he still looked down.

Storm bent forward. "So you mean…you think something's about to happen to Jean?", she asked frowning while her heart started to beat faster.

Logan shook his head and leant back again. He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know, 'Ro…maybe it's nothing…"

She suddenly felt very worries. Usually, that's what she had learned very quickly about him, was his warning system because of his heightened senses always right… "Logan,…you've never been wrong so…"

"I know!", he cut her off. "I'd believe that I'm wrong, but…" He shook his head again and sighed. He could not even tell why he was doing a heart-to-heart talk with her… Logan hated them…

"But?", she asked since he had stopped in the middle of a sentence.

"…even Wolverine's afraid…", Logan said after a while and looked at her. "…and that's a thing which never happens…"

"Because he knows no fear…", Storm noticed calmly.

"Exactly!"

XXX

"So that's why you're here…", Scott said and folded his arms in front of his chest, while he looked down at Jean who was sitting on his bed.

"Sure…",s he answered frowning and asked herself what he thought was the reason she'd come to him.

"Did he sent you?", he asked her coldly.

Jean sighed. "No… I'm here because I'm tired of it, Scott. It can't go on like this…"

He only nodded slowly, but she knew he didn't do it because of understanding her. "So you want me to accept it?", he asked coldly. "Just like that?"

"I can't make you accept it… But I hope you can someday…", she said softly and looked at him pleadingly.

"How, Jean? How!", Scott asked more harshly. His eyes were staring at her. "If I only think about him touching you…" He broke off because he became too furious. "You're not him!", he reminded himself and tried to calm down again.

"I'm sorry, Scott…", she said calmly. "I didn't mean to hurt you, but…"

"But you did!"

Jean looked up at him. This was even harder then she thought it would be. "I'm sorry!"

Scott sighed and ran a hand through his hair, while one hand remained on his hip. "Why him, Jean? Why?", he asked in despair. "We wanted to marry someday, to have children… And now…", he broke off again and shook his head while looking down. "I always thought we were happy with each other…that you loved me as much as I love you…"

"I do love you, Scott", Jean began and stood up, but before she could continue, he had stepped closer and took her hands in his.

"Then why are you staying with him!", he asked insistently.

"Because I love him…", she said calmly. "I love you as a friend,…but I love with my heart…" She swallowed hard, while her heart was pounding strongly in her chest. She knew that she had just hurt him even more.

He let go off her immediately. "He's an animal, Jean! Animals can't love… He's a loner, not someone who can provide you with a house and a picket fence…"

"He's NOT an animal, Scott!", Jean said angrily. "Stop calling him that! You don't even know him!"

"Damn it, Jean, you've seen his berserker side… He's running on instincts, so he IS an animal…" Scott saw her eyes changing. The warmth was gone…now she looked at him with cold and warning eyes.

"You're talking about my partner and the father of my children here! How do you even dare to judge him like that!" Here eyes glowed orange for a very brief moment and she had to blink.

"I'm not judging him. I'm only saying the truth, Jean. But somehow everyone doesn't want to realize it!", he gave back as angry as she was.

She frowned, since she'd heard the strange undertone. "What do you mean?"

"What I mean?", he asked in return and had to laugh shortly. "Since when is he everyone's darling? A team player, the big carer?", Scott asked her. "Before that he didn't give a damn about anything! And all of a sudden, everyone wants him to be the new leader? What comes next? Headmaster!" He paused for a brief moment. "I really don't get it. I've met guys like him before and they never change…so how come that everyone's in love with him…?"

"Because he did change!", Jean answered and looked at him piercingly. "You have no idea what he'd been though after he had to kill me…"

"HE killed you!", Scott nearly shouted in disbelief. He let out a deep breath. He couldn't believe it…it just made his theory look perfect. Outraged, he moved around, shaking his head and breathing hard. "I don't believe it…"

"Wait!", she said deciding. "He had to kill me, Scott! I wanted him to kill me. Logan had tried everything to help me, but I was unstoppable… I wanted to kill everyone and everything on this planet. So he had no other choice!" Jean took a deep breath as the memories returned to her. "And he had to pay in the hardest way for saving me…" Tears filled her eyes as she recalled what Rogue had told her about Logan's behavior after Alcatraz. It still hurt her like hell… Jean noticed that Scott wanted to say something, but she cut him off. "Logan was the only one who helped me after I returned. The only one who talked to me and could even stand to look at me or even be close to me without being scared to death…"

"Yeah, so that he can finally bed you, probably", Scott said caustic.

Jean narrowed her eyes. "He helped me through it, helped me to learn control, because he is the only one who can understand what it means to share ones body with a demon! You haven't seen me, Scott! You don't know what I am really capable of! He does, because he'd seen how I killed the Professor…" She'd gritted her teeth and clenched her fists in anger. The pictures were burned into her memory forever… She would never forget them. She knew that he was still looking at her. "I killed so many people…and mutants…", Jean continued without breaking eye contact, the pain echoed in her voice. "And I enjoyed it! So if you call him and animal…then I am an animal, too! Far worse than Wolverine could ever be!" Scott looked down and thought about the things she'd said. "If Logan hadn't been there for me around the clock,…I wouldn't be sitting here right now…"

Frowning, he looked up. His heart was racing and he knew that he didn't want to her what she would tell him next. Still, he'd to be sure. "What do you mean…?"

Jean swallowed. Besides Logan, no one knew about this very bad day she'd experienced back then. "I…I tried to kill myself after another outburst…" She looked up again, causing tears to run down her cheeks. "Logan must have sensed it… He'd stopped me at the last moment…"

"God, Jean…", Scott gasped and turned around in shock, while he ran a hand through his hair. He suddenly felt very sick…this had hit him hard, very hard. "What were you thinking!"

"You don't know what it feels like…", she said louder while the fear was mirrored in her eyes. "…to know that you are so powerful that, if you lose control only for a second, you could easily destroy the whole planet at once…"

Embarrassed, Scott looked down. "Right… But, Jean…", he said and came closer again. "You've to understand me, too…"

She nodded slowly and wiped away her tears. "I understand that you feel offended…or jealous… But I'm sick of you attacking him…"

"What else should I do?", he asked her in despair. "I lost you, then I got you back and got killed… And after I returned and thought that we could finally be together again, I get to know that you're with him now…and only a few days later that you're pregnant… Jean,…I feel so unnecessary… Not only when it comes to you, but also the X-Men and the school…" He looked down for a brief moment. "He has everything I had before…to me it appears as if…as if we switched bodies…"

"You're not, Scott!", Jean tried to calm him. "The school and students need you… But with Logan, it is different… It's the first time I feel free, it's the first time that I can be…me…"

"What do you mean, Jean?", he asked in confusion and a trace of anger echoed in his voice. "Did I ever suppress you? Did I ever put you into a cage!"

"That's not what meant… But I never was the real me back then, Scott…in every way of living…"

"Good to know that…", Scott snorted in disbelief.

She sighed. "Don't tell me that surprises you."

"No, actually it doesn't…", he said more coldly than he intended to. "You attraction to him was too obvious…"

Jean raised an eyebrow, since she wasn't talking about her relationship to Logan before, but her increasing powers. "And?", she asked, sensing that there was way more behind his words than he actually said.

Scott smirked and shook his head, while he folded his arms in front of his chest. "You've no idea how often I asked myself why you feel so attracted to him. How often I waited for you to come to me and tell me that you betrayed me…"

Jean gave a derisive laugh in disbelief and turned away. "You trusted me that much?", she asked him outraged. "You really thought that I was capable of betraying you!"

"Come on, Jean!", Scott shot back more loudly. "Don't tell me that the two of you have never kissed at least!" Immediately she blushed. He stared at her. "I knew it!", was all he could say. "How often? Or did you even go further?", he asked her angrily and offended.

"Once…", she admitted truthfully. "And it was only a kiss…nothing more!"

"That's already enough…", he gave back.

Jean sighed. Knowing that she wouldn't be able to calm him today, she walked towards the door. As her hand reached the doorknob, she paused. "I'm not the Jean anymore you knew before, Scott. I changed. A lot!", she said calmly. "I love him and he loves me… I'm happy for the first time since my return. With him! So, please, stop attacking him, Scott! I can't hold Logan back forever if you keep on provoking him…"

With that she left him alone just to bump into a surprised looking Logan on the corridor. Jean looked at him in shock and her heart kicked into high gear…she could only guess what he was thinking. "The Professor wanted me to talk to him…", she explained calmly and cursed herself for blushing like a school girl that was caught doing something forbidden.

"Talking, eh?", he asked in return with a trace of disbelief in his voice.

Jean sighed and ran a hand through her face. "Logan, please… I had enough jealousy for one day…"

He smirked and kissed her neck hungrily. "Yes, ma'am…"

She smiled tiredly. "Where are ya going?"

"To bed…", he answered shortly before he wrapped his arms around her waist. "Wanna come?"

"Best idea I've ever heard", she said and yawned, before she did the same with him and leant her head against his shoulder. Together they walked down the corridor.

"And? Did the talking change anything?", Logan asked when they'd reached their room door.

"No…", Jean said while sitting down on their bed. "I think it only made it worse…" Suddenly, she gave him a look and he knew what it meant.

"I promised ya, Jean!" Logan sat down next to her. "I won't start a fight, …but if he attacks me first…"

"I know...", she said barely audible. "I only keep on feeling that something terrible is about to happen…" She undressed herself and laid down, after she gave him a kiss, leaving him looking at her worriedly. She just had confirmed his growing fear which kept on eating him up from the inside… He got rid off his clothes and laid down next to her. Immediately, she curled up against him, already being asleep. Logan frowned and pulled a strand of hair back behind her ear, before he traced her featured with his finger.

Immediately, he felt it… His senses started to crack, his heart rate kicked into high gear…everything within him was screaming, while Wolverine fought against his cage. He had to get away from her; she was pushing him too far behind his level of control… Cautiously, Logan got up and got dressed again. With one last look on her, he left the room…

So, that was Chapter 30. I know a lot of dialogue, but I thought that Jean and Scott had to talk finally. I haven't written Chapter 31 so far. So, it can take some time until my next update. Oh, and silly me: In the last chapter I did a mistake, which I recognized yesterday. : ( Of course I meant are-you-kidding and not kissing. LOL I corrected that one and the mistakes part AngelNoelani420 told me about. Thanks for that!

Thanks for all the nice reviews! Hope you liked this one, too, even if it was lot of talking and no action. And I hope this one doesn't have too many mistakes again. : ( At least Word doesn't show them.