Still not mine :0(
"Morning Penhall" came Judy Hoffs cheerful voice as he entered the Chapel
"Hey Jude."
"Fuller's looking for you. You're late."
"Damn, what time is it!"
"9.30. Where's Hanson, he and Harry need to get going".
"Not well. He's staying home today".
"You poison him last night Doug?" came Harry's mocking voice.
"Very funny Harry. I happen to be an excellent cook. Besides he brought pizza."
"Nothing serious is it?"
"Nah, Jude. Probably just one of those 24 hour things. I better go see Fuller. Catch you guys later ok."
He took a deep breath as he knocked on Fullers door, thinking how he was going to approach this, and feeling like scum for betraying his best friend.
"Captain, can I talk to you?"
"Penhall, I thought the whole point of you being on desk duty was so that you had a predictable schedule".
"I'm sorry. Look Captain, I need to talk to you about Hanson".
"What about him? Actually where is he?"
"Asleep at my appartment."
"What?"
"On the sofa Captain" Doug said slightly offended.
"Grow up Doug! Why is he at your place sleeping instead of at work? He's on a case!"
"It's ok. I phoned the principle pretending to be his dad and told him he was ill and I was keeping him home."
"What's going on Doug?"
"He broke down at my place last night."
"Sit down! Talk to me", said Fuller, clearly concerend.
"Did you know he hasn't slept more than three hours a night since he got out of prison?"
"Yeah, a while back. But he said he was doing better recently".
"Well he's not. Did he tell you about the nightmares?"
"That's not unusual Doug. Prison isn't a pleasant place you know."
"Nah. These are different."
"How?"
"He say he dreams that Ronnie Seebok, Kenny Wheckerly and a bunch of other kids are in there with him and it sounds kinda like they're putting him on trial. He says everything that happened to these kids is his fault. He thinks Ronnie is dead because he made a mistake handling evidence. He also said that Harry's there too, dying Captian, and he's stuck behind bars and can't help him, so he just watches him die."
"He told you this?"
"And more. You should have heard the things he was saying. He really believes this shit. I've never seen him this way before." Dougs voice began to waver. "He needs help Captain, and as much as I wish i could , I'm not equipped to do that. I've always protected him when we've been in situations when we've been in physical danger. Just took it for granted that I'm bigger and stronger so I had to lookout for him. But I can't protect him from this. The truth is Captain, he's really a much stronger person that I am and he's always been there for me, for all of us when we've needed someone. Now he needs my help and I can't give it to him."
"You helped just by being there for him last night Doug. He needed to let it out, and you've done the right thing coming to me".
"Did he tell you about the beatings and threats?"
"No but it's not difficult to guess. Cop in prison, you hear about it all the time", Fuller said.
"That's not what he meant, is it Doug?", Judy Hoffs had been listening outside and hearing this she walked into the office.
"How long have you been there?" Doug snapped.
"A while."
"Oh great. I promised Tom I wouldn't tell anyone."
"We all want to help him Doug! What do you mean Hoffs?"
"Come on Captain. Think about it. Being a cop in jail is bad enough, but Hanson isn't the biggest guy is he? And he does kind of attract alot of attention." She looked at Doug. "They didn't do anything to him did they?"
As it registered what she meant, Fuller looked sick.
"No. They tried to and treatened to constantly", his eyes darkened as he turned to them. "I don't want that going any further ok. Tom told me in confidence and it' s hard enough for him having me know."
"Oh god, poor Hanson", Judy said softly as she sat down on a chair at Fullers desk.
"Captain?"Doug said as he put a comforting arm on Judy's shoulder, "It's been almost a year. Why's he still hurting so much?"
"Doug, he was sent to prison for the rest of his life knowing he was innocent. That's not an easy thing to get over. But then to be subjected to all that bullshit and never dealing with it, that only makes it worse. As you said Doug, talking to you isn't enough. I'll talk to him, get him to see the department pshycologist".
"That's the last thing he want's Captian. That's why he made me promise not to tell you."
"And that just tells me he knows he has a problem".
"He won't go to a shrink Captain. Besides, he was fine after we talked, still sleeping like a baby when I left".
"Doug", Judy put in, "You said yourself you can't give him the help he needs".
"If he won't see the shrink I'll have to won't I, we all will. We owe him Jude", he replied giving her a meaningful look.
"Look Penhall", Fuller said, "We all missed the signs ok. But we're here for him now, but he can't go on carrying all this with him, he needs help from a professional. I need you to help convince him."
"I'll try,but I can't promise miracles."
"Your his best friend Doug, he'll listen to you"
"I said i'll try!"
"Thats all we ask"
Tom woke with a start. He looked around the room, not knowing where he was at first.
"Oh god, what time is it?" he said to the empty room, while trying to ease the stiffness in his neck. Then as he looked at his watch his eyes grew wide in shock as if to swallow his entire face as he realised it was 11.30. He had slept for almost 12 hours.
Leaping up off the couch he shouted "Doug! Come on we're late. Fullers gonna kick our asses if..." he stopped short as he opened the door to Dougs room and realised he was alone.
"Son of a bitch!" he yelled as he grabbed his boots and keys and bolted for the door.
Hanson stormed through the Chapel door, ignoring Judy and Blowfishes cheerful greetings, and oblivious to Judy's badly disguised looks of concern, as he marched straight over to Penhalls desk.
"Why didn't you wake me?" he snapped as Doug looked up.
"You looked so cute, I didn't want to disturb you. Anyway you needed the rest. You've got much more colour in your cheeks this morning, nice shade of red!" he said trying to put off any serious conversations until later.
"I'm on a case man! Fullers gonna kill me!"
"Relax, I dealt with Fuller. He thinks I gave you food poisoning."
Tom looked at Doug with suspicsion and Doug watched as that familar look of annoyance came over Hanson's face.
"You told him, didn't you?"
"Tom I had to, I'm sorry".
"You're saying that an awful lot lately". he lowered his voice as he saw Harry making his way over. "We'll discuss this later!", then turning on his warmest smile he called out "Harry! Good to see ya!"
"Yeah, yesterday was such a long time ago!" Harry said before looking at Penhall with questioning eyes. Doug shrugged it off as Hanson's smile dissappeared and he flashed him a venomous look.
"So Hanson, you ready to come to work or is your head still a little sore?" Harry asked, the chill in his voice all too evident.
Doug noticed his friends shoulders tense as Harry said this and he pulled his most innocent expression.
"Let's just go Harry." Then as Harry turned to walk away Tom rounded on Doug. "You told them I was hungover! Why would you do that?"
"Hey it was either that or diahorea. Which would you prefer?"
"Hanson, you coming!" came the impatient bark
"Yeah Harry, just a minute." he snapped, returning Harry's warmth, then turning to Doug with a look of disgust on his face "I'll deal with you later!".
Doug watched him leave the Chapel with Harry with a small smile on his face, a little relieved at seeing Hanson's trademark indignant act. This smile quickly disappeared however as Judy came over.
"Did you talk to him about the psychiatrist?"
"Not yet" he answered flatly.
"Doug!"
"You saw him. He's doing ok, telling me off just like old times! Look Judy, this isn't really the place to bring it up is it?"
"He shouldn't be working. He should be taking time out."
"Hey Judy, I know Tom ok, and what he needs is normality, and to him that's working. Treating him like a head case isn't going to help".
"But you will talk to him?"
"I said I would didn't I!"
"Make sure you do."
"Did you talk to Harry?"
"Yeah. Be patient with him Doug. He's been through alot".
"Well, so has Hanson, and Ioki was outta line".
"That's why he needs help."
"Hey, for the record he isn't crazy!"
"No one said he was Doug", she said enigmatically before heading back to her desk.
