The Diego Diaries: Callow (dd8 410)

=0=Up there

It settled down immediately when Prowl stopped kicking Ratchet to pull out his personal binoculars to give Prime the once over down below.

Ratchet staggered up howling with laughter to join him, scoping Prime out with his specialist optics. "He's coming around. Lucky elbow for Blato."

Ratchet was given his own lucky elbow from Prowl.

=0=Sitting in the 'nose bleed seats' watching with mixed emotions

Callo, his bond and three grown ass sons watched the show below. They'd never seen basketball before but they liked it. All three sons decided they'd join a team next time.

And maybe football.

Golf.

They liked sports.

They weren't great at most of them, more like the everyday ordinary punter but they liked them.

"Look at fat aft," Callo said to his bond as he pointed at Ironhide. "I hate that mech."

"So you've always said," his mellow bond, Dorset said. She had no illusions about the 'lower castes' but having listened to the endless repetition of stories about Ironhide, she was borderline about whether to continue to be patient or plant a roundhouse right on his face.

"Well, we'll see. I have a new purpose in life, Dorie. That slagger is going to remember why he hates me."

Dorset who hated 'Dorie' grinned faintly. "Well, there is that."

=0=Down below as a goalie

Ironhide watched the carnage at the other end of the game while he, Sun and Jack guarded the goal. Having Prime out of the action for a bit wasn't as bad as it could be for others. Magnus was a slagging fine center. Right now he was angling for a goal by towering over everyone but Blato and seeking an opening for Chromia or Elita to score.

Chromia slid between Blato's legs, caught the ball when he threw it to her, shot it to Elita and she scored. First of the game.

Crater Comets, 5.

Polyhex Polyhexagons, 0.

They walked back to the center line to do it all again.

Magnus and Blato stared at each other, Magnus with his usual grim determination in a game and Blato with delight that a big mechanism his height was still left to plant. The ref threw the ball upward, Blato plucked it with ease … he was a crane operator after all, then handed it to a forward.

Said forward ran like the wind with Jetta hanging off his leg.

TWEET!

The game stopped as the refs thundered toward Jetta.

Jetta considered his options, then punched the forward in the face.

The Polyhex forward with startled optics frowned deeply, then swung on Jetta.

It was on.

Ref 1: "That slagger just nullified the penalty."

Ref 2: "He built my house so I'm not going to be too unhappy."

Ref 1: "You have a point, Fill."

The place roared with intensity as the two mechs slagged it out. Given that Jetta was a master at close-in fighting and a long time Autobot Special Operations officer, the other guy didn't have a chance but he gave it his all.

After a moment of studying the refs by side eye and noting the drop in the temperature of their rage, Jetta paused, hugged the mech off his peds, then walked back to Magnus.

Magnus stared at him, winked slightly, the moved to the sides where *!?JETTA?!* would take the ins.

Cybertronian basketball was just as inscrutable as Cybertronian golf and football.

=0=120 feet above the floor in the eagle's nest

"Okay. What just happened?" the human addition to the sportscasting team, Colin Forest of Alberta, Canada asked. He was a father, weather scientist, sports and weather commentator on the news as broadcast at Earth2's station at 6pm every night and coached every sort of sport he could. He was good guy, funny and loved the mechs. He was the go-to guy behind Mama Annie for sporting information for the news agencies and organization of Earth. "Didn't Jetta just earn a penalty for holding on and dragging?"

The mechs in the booth chuckled.

"No. He enacted a little known rule that most of the teams seldom use because its a street rule. If you get caught breaking a rule, depending on the rule, then hit the one you're fouling and start a fight. That nullifies the infraction," Jazz said with a dazzling smile.

Colin grinned. "You do know that my kids do that and it doesn't save them one minute from their grounding.

"Well, sad for you," Blaster said with a chuckle.

"I know," Colin said as he watched with rapt attention the game pick up again.

=0=Down below

Jetta watched the usual hubbub then threw the ball over the helms of everyone to Chromia standing along the other line. She caught it, then began to run, bouncing it all along masterfully.

Of course.

She passed this and that mech, some of whom were being mugged before reaching the defensive end of the Polyhex side of the court.

That's when she was slagged into the wall nearby by two defensive players of the Polyhexagons. She hit it hard, bounced off, then stared at the ceiling as well, noting the number of kinds of slaggers she'd slagged in a lifetime of slagging flying around her helm.

Prime who was sitting on the bench next to where she landed glanced down. "Are you alright?"

"Uh …"

Maelstrom nearly materialized out of the ether to bend down to look at Chromia. "You okay, Chrome?" he asked anxiously.

"Uh …"

That was when Maelstrom walked out onto the court to do battle.

=0=Up there

"Oh frag," Ratchet said in his gorilla suit, something that was on and off the jumbotron and the down feed to everywhere that existed from time to time. "This won't go well."

"I'll shoot him," Prowl said with intense frustration as he patted his chassis forgetting that he carried his weapons in subspace for a moment. He squinted down his binoculars to peer at Prime again.

That's when Ratchet jumped up on the railing, then leaped off to nail the landing on the ground.

The place burned down.

=0=The Family Tower

"Oh my god. I want to be Ratchet when I grow up," Merlie Epps said with a huge smile.

"You are, Baby," Harley said as he grinned at her.

"Awwww," was the consensus opinion.

=0=Earth2 in the private lounge reserved by Harris for the viewing party now that he was a plebe like everyone else

"What the hell," Kyle Davis said as the scene on the court of play turned to the absurd.

A gorilla had jumped on the back of a monster truck and was careening around the court through the players as the monster truck tried to get his servos on the body parts of two players who'd just careened his femme into the wall.

The defensive players were high stepping it all over the court trying to hide in plain sight, using everyone they encountered as human shields.

TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTT! a ref belted out before ending up being swatted off the court by an enraged lover boy.

It was then that the defensive backs used both of them as shields while Maelstrom the brother of !TURMOIL! began to close ground.

A tap on his shoulder in the middle of his rampage drew his attention so he swung around to fight. Ratchet still holding on swung around, too, and his peds took out the refs, two players and the ball boy who was actually a gnarly soldier from way back in the orn.

Maelstrom looked this way and that, then down. He froze. "Chrome."

"Thanks, Maelstrom," she said.

He picked her gently up and carried her to the sidelines where a scan by a terrified medic showed her bell was still ringing.

Maelstrom walked to the team bench and sat down beside Prime, arranging Chromia gently in his lap. He nodded to Prime who nodded back, then stared defiantly at everyone else including a piled up Ratchet in a gorilla suit sitting where he landed when he fell off.

Like that.

A collective AWWWW from billions of individuals on three planets and a far ranging empire could be heard echoing throughout the universe as the refs stood up, dusted themselves off, then huddled for a confab on penalties.

They decided against it because Maelstrom was a menace to society so the game started up again.

=0=Up there

"And that's why Maelstrom is a menace to anyone who even gives Chromia side eye," Blaster said.

Colin Forest stared at Jazz and Blaster a moment, then the camera. "Okay," he said to howling laughter.

=0=The ball in motion

It changed hands a few times but in the end by halftime the score was Crater Comets 15, Polyhex Polyhexagons 0. The teams lined up, limped to the tunnel and were gone.

Ratchet was leaning over waving, hooting out to Ironhide, pointing to his chassis with the 'Vote for Ironhide for School Board' sign. Ironhide for his part skulked out of the arena floor with his servos covering his face until he disappeared into the tunnel.

The place came apart at the seams.

=0=In the locker room

The little kids hustled getting things for the players as they sat back relaxing. Chromia who'd been carried into the tunnel and locker room by Maelstrom was sitting on a chair being tended to by Maelstrom and Sunspot.

"Wow, Chromia, you really hit the wall hard. Are you okay?" Sunspot asked anxiously.

"I'm okay," she said with a grin. She kissed his helm. Glancing at the bond, she grinned. "Maelstrom, don't ever change."

"Whatever you want, Chrome," he said as he held her drinking cup.

She grinned at him like she's invented him and he looked back the same way.

It was revolting.

Prime on the other hand was getting the third degree and once over by a tense winger and a gorilla.

=0=Unidad in the assembly room

They watched the game, thousands of residents cheering and laughing madly at the show. This was the main viewing space for the games and other events because it felt like you were there sitting in a huge crowd watching a sporting event. It was the closest they could get to actually being at one, these people who lived in a giant terrarium. The virtual screen the game was projecting measured 100 feet by 100 feet.

It was amazing.

=0=E1

Brandon Clark laughed loudly as he watched Ratchet and Prowl's antics. They were a highlight of any sporting event and now was no different. The voting sign reminded him that the issue of human participation in the School Board elections would be settled by Prime shortly.

If they were allowed to do that then it would be a major step forward to integrating the human and bot communities for the good. The next thing he wanted to do was have voting and if not that then non-voting representation in the Delegate Assembly. His intention was to be a fully participating good neighbor. Rumor had it that Prime was in a good frame of mind about the request.

"When can we go to the games, Brandon? Has anyone decided yet?" someone sitting nearby asked him.

"It might not happen. This is a more dangerous venue for us than the stadiums where the number of exits is greater than the ones at The Arena," Brandon said. "I'll ask anyway."

"I hope you do," someone else said. "I want to be there to watch Ratchet. I'm not crazy about basketball though I love this version. I do love Ratchet however we can get him."

"Who doesn't," Susie Clark asked no one in particular.

=0=E2

"That's the Secretary of State, chief negotiator, Ambassador and medical officer of the empire," Kyle Davis said.

Rick Harris who was laughing nearby glanced at him. "Yeah. Isn't it great?"

=0=TBC 4-12-2022

Jackalkat: The thing about this story is its like watching television or a movie for me. I'm glad that you liked Ratchet's 'ensembles'. My mom worked as a librarian and her best friend was the other one. They had to wear a gorilla costume to promote the library and my mom wouldn't so Charlene did. It was the funniest thing ever. It was also about 90 degrees when she did. Her son was EMBARRASSED and my brother was MAD because Mom wouldn't do it. I'm glad you can see it. Ratchet is a hoot. :D

nose bleed seats: if you watch stadium games the people sitting on the rim in the farthest and usually worst seats are in the nose bleed section being so far up they have that problem. Old expression. :D