I haven't stolen them, I'm borrowing without permission, with every intention of giving them back (well, maybe!)

Doug stood alone looking down at the still face of his partner and best friend. Mrs Hanson had been led away by Captain Fuller after having to be sedated by the doctor. When she was led into the room and saw the lifeless form of her only child she had gone into hysterics, putting her arms around him so tightly and refusing to let go. Fuller had eventually been able to talk her into letting go of her son, repeating over and over that he wasn't there anymore, reasuring her that he was no longer in any pain.

After this awful scene Doug had been left alone. Judy had gone to call Harry and tell him the awful news, and he would most likely be on his way to join them. Standing there all he could think was that this couldn't be real and going over those last moments and how everything had seemed so normal and they were all so sure everything was going to be ok.

He was roused from his thoughts as Judy entered the room and slipped her hand into his.

"Doug" she said, her own voice, for the sake of her friend, only just controlling the grief that was threatening to burst forward. "They're going to have to take him away soon". He turned bleary eyes to her and nodded silently, making no move to leave the room.

"You know Jude, it's so strange. That looks like Tom lying there, but he's gone. It's like looking at a total stranger."

Looking down at him, Judy couldn't help thinking of how only a few hours earlier she had held him as he slept, listening to the reasuring sound of his breathing. His face still held the same peacful expression it had then , only now the dark lashes stood out even more against the pale face. Only this time those eyes would never open to look back at her. She suddenly had an irrational need to see them again. But if she were to reach and out and open them, she wouldn't see the deep soft brown eyes she had looked into so many times. They would not be the eyes that were capable of expressing thousands of emotions with just a look. They would just stare back at her blank and cold. So instead to turned to Doug and said as gently as she could "That's because he has gone. Doug, come on. Don't remember him like this, he was special and that how he should be remembered."

"We got each other into so much trouble" Doug said, not seeming to hear her. "But he usually managed to get us out. He was always there for me."

"For all of us" Judy added.

"How can someone so good suffer through so much just for it to end like this?"

"I don't know" she replied tearfully.

"Lying under oath to try and keep him out of prison, getting him released, protecting him from all those trigger happy soldiers in El Salvador. How can all that be for nothing?" He said as he turned to face her, his face streaked with tears. "Why do people I love always go away? My parents left me and Dorothy was always leaving me. Then Marta, she was taken from me after only five days together. Then they took my best friend away and shut him prison, Does god hate me or something Jude? Not only does he rip away my family and my wife, but he takes away the closest thing I have to a bother, gives him back only to take him away again."

"It's ok to be angry Doug!"

"I am fucking angry. I just don't know who to be angry at. I'm angry at God for taking him away just when things were starting to mend, I'm angry at the doctors for not being able to save him. God help me, I'm even angry Tom for giving up and leaving us."

"Doug, you know he would never leave us if there was anyway he could stay."

"If I could just get hold of Crane! I'd kill him with my bare hands!" he said, anger and grief threatening to overcome him.

"Doug, please don't" Judy pleaded tears streaming down her own face now. "This won't bring him back."

"I just can't belive this is happening" he said, his voice now barely more than a whisper. He then saw a panic stricken look on Judy's face as two orderlies entered the room.

"Oh god Doug!" she cried as she burried her face in his chest. He pulled her close and held tight to her as she was wracked with sobs.

"I'm sorry." one of the orderlies said, and with one last look at his best friend, the man he considered his brother, Doug led Judy from the room.

After getting Margaret home, Fuller called the only other surviving member of Hanson's family, an aunt living somewhere in Philladelphia, and explained what had happened. When he had been assured the she was on the next flight over and Margaret was out for the rest of the night, for no reason he could think of, he felt an urge to return to Jump Street Chapel. After stepping out of his car he made his way slowly up the stairs. Eventhough the place was empty, you never really felt lonely there, and even so late at night there was an energy about the place you could feel as soon as you stepped through the door. Feeling exhausted and utterly spent, Adam made his way over to the desk where Tom Hanson had sat nearly everday for almost five years. He saw the neatly arranged pencils, all shapened to a perfect point, the stapler and various papers, all positioned at perfect right angles and in the most immaculate piles you would ever see, and smiled dispite his weariness and grief. Looking at the neatly appointed desktop he could almost believe that it's occupant had been sat there only a short time ago and had arranged everything so perfectly ready for the next day, which he supposed five weeks ago he had. This obsessive neatness was in stark contrast to the toy airplane that was perched on top of the neat pile of papers. His eyes caught sight of the familiar poster behind the desk. A child's drawing with the caption "I have aids. Hug me. I can't make you sick." written underneath. This had made an appearence shortly after the death of Harley Poolish and had been a permanent fixture ever since. Fuller smiled as he looked from the desk to the poster and back again. He found these signs of the very different layers of Tom's personality oddly comforting, always so meticulous, almost to the point of being neurotic, not to mention incredibly opinionated with a highly developed, almost blind, sense of right and wrong, and one of the most difficult to read and the most stubborn person he had ever known. But he had also been one of the most loyal, unselfish and caring people he had ever known, who's tendancy for being so proper was always offset by a wicked, if somewhat understated sense of humour. Finally relieved of the burden of worrying for others he felt an imense sense of loss. He had grown incredibly close and extremely fond of his elite team of young officers, and losing Tom had hit him as if it had been Kip he had seen lying there.

Just as he was about to give into his grief, Adam heard a familiar voice from over by the door.

"Captain?"

"Harry. I thought you'd have gone straight to the hospital."

"Tom's not at the hospital." he said. Fuller nodded, understanding Harry's meaning. "For some reason I thought I should be here", Harry finished following Fullers gaze to the "litter" of his friends desk.

"Yeah, I know what you mean" Fuller said with a rueful smile.

"How did this happen captain?"

"You're not an officer anymore Harry. It's Adam." he said trying to smile. "And I don't know. I don't have all the answers, eventhough I like you all to think I do. Terrible things like this happen Harry, there's no reason for them, if there was it wouldn't seem so senseless."

"I was so sure everything was gonna be ok. Why did he have to jump infront of that gun!" Harrry said, his voice touched by hints of anger and grief.

"You're not still blaming yourself are you Harry?" Harry gave a barely noticable shake of his head. "Tom always had to be saving someone Harry, even those for who it was to late" he said gesturing to the AIDS poster behind the desk. "It's who he was. I think he needed that, needed to distract from how much he needed help, how he needed those around him to save him."

"I guess it was too late for Tom too."

"Not from what Doug tells me."

"What do you mean?"

"He told me what you did for Tom, contacting Jack Weaver and Joan Poolish".

"Joan Poolish wasn't my doing Captain." he said with a slight smile. "DId it help?"

"You gave him peace Harry, something no one else had been able to do."

"Do you think things would have turned out differently if we'd done something sooner."

"You can't think like that Harry, if you do you'll drive yourself nuts considering all the what if's. You can't change what's happend. When's your flight to Vietnam?"

"I don't know yet. I was going to go tomorrow before all this happened, now I kinda wanna stay for the funeral." Harry turned his eyes towards the ceiling, "God, I never thought I'd be going to Tom's funeral, out of all of us I could've sworn he'd live forever."

"Harry" Fuller said, putting his hand on Harry's shoulder, "Go to the funeral, say goodbye to him and go on with your life."

"I can't just go home, carry on with my life and forget about him Captain, I owe him more than that." Fuller smiled at Harry's loyalty and inability to be able to stop referring to him as captain.

"I didn't tell you to forget him. Harry, he saved your life, the best way for you to remember him is to live it, and make it a good one."

"I'll try my best Captain." Harry said offering his hand. Instead of taking it Fuller pulled him into a hug.

"It's been an honour to know you Harry" he said, "I'm going to miss you"

"Yeah, me to sir. I'm gonna take off, I'm meant to be meeting Judy, this has hit her pretty hard, you gonna come?"

"No. I think I'm going to stay here awhile".

"Ok. I'll see you Adam." he said giving Fuller a sad smile before heading out of the Chapel. After Harry had gone Fuller walked into his office and sat at his own desk. As he looked around the room he had so many memories running through his mind. The time Hanson had reported for duty with a hangover after stepping in to break up a hazing task the night before and had consequently spent the morning lying on Fullers couch with a wet cloth over his eyes. All the times Fuller had meant to chew him out over something, but had been unable to after Tom had given him that look you just couldn't stay mad at. A smile came across his face as he remembered the time Tom and Doug had first introduced him to the McQuaid brothers, and had looked at thier outfits in disbelief. That smile suddenly vanished however as he heard the echos of a conversation he had had with Tom in this very room over three years ago after he had been suspended for drag racing.

"I'm tired of putting my ass on the line for complete strangers!" he heard Tom's voice echo through the room, "If they wanna do drugs, fine! If they wanna crack up at a hundred miles an hour, fine" Maybe someday i'll wanna get married, have a kid. I just don't wanna miss anything."

Of course, now he would never get the chance to do any of those things. He had continued to risk his life for another three years, and now he was dead, barely 25 years old and he was gone. He had come into this office later the same year asking Adam if he believed in god, and had told him yes, if he were here to ask that question now, Adam wasn't so sure he'd be able to give him that same answer. With these thoughts running through his mind, Adam Fuller rested his head in his hands and in the confines of his office gave into his grief and cried silent tears for his lost officer and friend, and decided it was time he made good on that promise he made.