Summary: This is the first fic I am publishing on this site. It was published elsewhere but the site crashed and lost it. It's a cute little story involving Sirius, Remus, and an unexpected threat to Remus's health. For some reason I've never seen Remus as a cat person. I also see him as having long and articulate, if not always sensible thoughts. Fluffiness will no doubt ensue.

Chapter One:

Remus glared. Anyone who knew Remus Lupin knew this was an unusual activity. After all, Remus--under normal circumstances--did not glare. Well, except at Sirius--but that was a special case.

No. One could say quite clearly and concisely that Remus Lupin did not glare under most circumstances, and certainly not this one.

He was, however, sitting at the kitchen table staring quite evilly at what he had mentally dubbed as "The Menace."

The Menace has taken residence in his and Sirius's London flat a grand total of two weeks ago when it had dragged up on the back porch and charmed his way into Sirius's heart. Remus hadn't had a moment's peace since. It would just sit there on the couch plotting his eventual demise... Okay, maybe not. But it was still plotting, Remus was sure. He wasn't being paranoid in the slightest.

Okay, sure it looked all fluffy and innocent and kitten-like, but Remus knew better. No, behind those yellowish-green eyes were the devil himself. Sirius had tried to convince him that the wolf-side of him must have done something to his personality because no one could outright hate a kitten. Okay, maybe his exact words were...

"But, Moony! He's so cute and little and fluffy! How could you hate this face! Is this the face of evil?"

No, Remus mused, idly. That face would belong to one Sirius Orion Black; after all, there was no other logical explanation behind the puppy-dog pout except pure unadulterated dark magic. He refused to believe otherwise. Okay, so maybe the giant, tear-filled look he got in those big blue eyes of his had a little bit to do with it, but only a little bit. Really.

At this point in the conversation, the demonic fuzz-ball decided to mew pitifully and painfully. This, of course, only sent Sirius into puppy-dog pout DEFCON level four. Remus never stood a chance. He didn't think Severus Snape would have stood a chance!

Snapping back to the present, Remus heard Sirius's loud uneven footsteps tromping down the stairs into the living room. Out of the corner of his eye, Remus saw the black-haired man pluck the malevolent entity known as a kitten up off of the couch and place it on his shoulder. He loped from the living room to the kitchen, where Remus was currently writing a letter to McGonagall.

The longhaired, ex-convict looked over Remus's shoulder, placing the feline on the table in the process. It promptly began to attack the werewolf's quill.

Remus sighed and ran a hand through his heavily graying brown hair.

"Is there any particular reason you and Lucifer's feline spawn have deemed to drop in and completely destroy my concentration?"

"Yep!" Sirius stated all too perkily for Remus's taste. He seemed not to notice nor care that his precious tuxedo kitten was tracking paw-prints all over the table. "I'm going over to Harry and Ginny's place for awhile. Ginny and her bridesmaids are picking out the dresses today and have decided that Harry and the groomsmen should pick out their tuxes as well. I, of course, already having dress robes which--only due to twelve years in prison a.k.a. Hell--"

"That where you found this creature?" Remus muttered removing the litany of fluff and evil from his parchment. Sirius glanced down only slightly perturbed. However, this caused his to lose his train of thought for the moment.

"Am I able to still fit into..." he blinked. "What was I saying? Oh, yes, I'm going for moral support, of course. Can't leave Harry, Ron, and the boys alone all afternoon to be harpy-pecked all afternoon, you know?"

Remus raised an eyebrow and smiled dryly. "Because heaven knows, if anyone is there salvation its you. You do know that you'll probably be more meddlesome in this affair than any of the girls there?" Sirius ignored him this time, preferring to pick up the black and white pile of evil he referred to as a pet.

"I left some cat food in the cabinet under the sink. Don't forget to feed Stalker, okay? He's gotten all of the rats in the area already, little angel," he scratched Stalker behind the ears. Remus, in the meanwhile, had dropped his quill and gone into shock.

"What?" he croaked. "You are not seriously--don't even think of that pun, Padfoot--thinking of leaving me alone all afternoon with that monstrous creation from the ninth circle of--"

"Remus! He's a perfectly normal, nice kitten. Besides, you don't expect me to take him to the gathering do you? He'd get tangled up in bows and lost in a sea of unpronounceable fabrics!"

"That's not such a bad thing," Remus muttered. Sirius then gave a glare that reminded him somewhat of Professor McGonagall, and he decided not to try his luck.

He looked down at Stalker and blinked. The bloody cat was smirking at him! Normal kittens--not even Marauder-raised kittens--not even Slytherin-raised kittens--smirked! Okay, so maybe Sirius smirked in his dog-form, but this was too creepy!

"Look, Moony," Sirius said gently. "I know that you are not the biggest cat-person in the world--that's an understatement really, I know. But Stalker is just a kitten: a good, sweet, innocent, harmless kitten. Okay, I'll admit he's a bit mischievous, but so am I and you still keep me around," he smiled. "You on the other hand are a fully-grown, lycanthropic, Defense expert. Pardon me, if I don't worry for your physical health in this matter."

"It's not my physical health I'm worried about," Remus told no one in particular. He looked up at Sirius and realized this was the wrong thing to say.

If Sirius looked like McGonagall before, he know held a strong resemblance to Molly Weasley reprimanding one of her children. Remus bit back a grin, as he imagined a frizzy-haired, apron-wearing Sirius.

"Look here, Moony. I don't know what it is about Stalker that has you scared out of your wits but frankly I don't care. You are the one who's always telling me t act my age. I never thought I'd be the one to say the same to you! He is a harmless kitten Remus, and you are watching him and feeding him while I am gone. Got it?"

Remus nodded dumbly, as Sirius took a handful of Floo Powder and threw it in the fireplace. He called out the address, but just before stepping in looked back to his friend with a pleading look on his face.

"Please, Moony. Can't you do it just this once? Just this one thing for me?" That look could have sent the now dead Dark Lord to his knees. Remus sighed once again and nodded.

"All right, Sirius, but just once, okay?" Sirius smiled brilliantly and nodded.

"Sure, moony, no problem! See you in a little while!" And with that the dog Animagus disappeared into the fireplace.

Remus looked down at the innocuous kitten on the table. It was all of four and half pounds of pure fluff.

It couldn't be this hard could it?

The kitten looked up at him with its soft green eyes wide as they could go...and it smirked.

But then again, it did learn from Sirius.