Author's Note: Sorry that I haven't been able to update sooner. It's been a bit crazy around here, and I haven't had the chance. So without further ado, I present chapter three.

Thud!

Remus swore. The noise had come from the kitchen. Stalking (as it were) into the room, Remus was torn between laughing and crying.

The two-month-old feline had managed to scale the counter, knock over a bag of baking flour, and was proceeding to roll around in said substance. When Remus had entered the kitchen, Stalker looked up at him with the guiltiest look Remus had ever seen (excluding James, Sirius, and Peter). His green eyes grew to the size of saucers. Now it was Remus's turn to smirk.

"Well, well, well, what have we here?" he drawled. The satanic kitten gave its most charming mew. Remus, to be blunt, wasn't buying it. He ambled over to the mess and drew his wand. Muttering a cleaning spell, he barely noticed when Stalker snuck from his view and made his way to the stairwell.

Using his tiny claws to brace him, he quickly hopped up each step at a time. Having finally reached the top, he realized that the yellow-eyed, not quite human was looking up at him bemusedly. He made a break for it.

Remus blinked. That was it. This cat had to have made some kind of demonic pact to be that fast. He pulled himself up the stairs quickly (well at least as quickly as he was willing to move for this fuzz-ball's sake). He looked both ways down the hall, hoping to see the kitten there, but to no avail. He sighed: at least half of the doors upstairs were slightly ajar.

"Might as well start with the bedrooms," he thought. He went to Sirius's room first, knowing that even if it weren't attracted to the room for his master's scent, he would be for its numerous hiding places. Despite Remus's best efforts, Sirius was still nearly as messy as he was in school.

This was proven once Remus opened the door. Sirius's clothing was divided in piles scattered across the floor along with shoes, motorcycle parts, and various magical do-dads that Remus didn't know (and probably didn't want to know) the function of.

Looking carefully for anything resembling a moving pile of clothing (or perhaps a basket with legs), Remus made his way into the room. He thanked his lucky stars that muggles had created a spray strong enough to mask what would no doubt be the terrible smell of his best friend's room. Remus loved Padfoot like a brother but he did have a tendency to smell like wet dog.

Stalker hid under the bed watching as the werewolf's feet paced the floors. The kitten strongly resisted the urge to jump out and attack his swaying shoelaces. Now was not the time for play, he reminded himself: now was the time for hiding. But the temptation was proving too much for the small kitten...

With a ferocious yowl--well as ferocious a yowl as a four-pound kitten could produce, Stalker darted from under the bed and attacked the stringy creatures, which were following his master's roommate.

Remus looked down with a bemused smile. After all, it wasn't everyday that a four-pound dust bunny viciously attacked one's feet... Well, actually, considering that this was Sirius's room, it might be. So rephrasing that: it wasn't everyday that a four-pound dust bunny attacked Remus's feet.

He, of course, recognized the overgrown lint ball as Stalker, but it was admittedly quite difficult. The normally black and white--and slightly gray, after the flour incident--was covered in lint balls, bits of paper, and what appeared to be Dog Hair as shed by Padfoot.

Lifting his foot off of the ground, Remus detached the feline from his trainer and held it up by the scruff of its neck. Raising it up to eye level, the lycanthrope realized that the kitten had finally given up on the innocent act and was now settling on glaring at him.

"Ah, Padfoot has taught you well, oh little demonic one," Remus intoned. Stalker swiped out angrily with his paw, missing Remus's nose by a good eight inches. The former professor may not have been excellent with cats, but he knew better than to hold one with claws up to his face. "Now, Stalker, what would Sirius think if he found out his little feline angel scratched his best friend in the face. Now," he stated as he drew out his wand, "you are a mess. Scourgify!"

Much to Stalker's dismay, the lovely mess he had worked so hard on creating was now swept off of him into thin air.

Remus chuckled at the cat's confused expression. He took a good look around his fellow Marauder's room and made a decision. Pointing his wand at several piles of clothes, he chanted. "Scourgify!" The clothes, though still wrinkled were now clean at least.

He continued this all over the room, Stalker dangling from one hand his wand held in the other, until it was finally clean enough to reach up to the Remus J. Lupin Standard of Cleanliness. Taking Stalker with him, Remus shut the door to Padfoot's room and continued shutting doors until every room in the house except the living room and kitchen were out of Stalker's reach.

Once he reached the living room, Remus unceremoniously dropped the kitten on the floor. He himself dragged over to the couch and with a loud yawn flopped down. This, he reminded himself, is why I don't need children.

Stalker was curled up in the middle of the floor sulking. That stupid human--well not human, his nose told him--ruined all his fun! And then he dared to go sit down and that couch and ignore him! Stalker did not like being ignored!

Still he had to admit, it did look rather comfortable. And there was a big spot in the middle of the man's back that looked like it would be the perfect place for a nap... Tossing aside his pride in a truly kitten-like fashion, Stalker trotted over to the side of the sofa and leapt onto the brown-haired man's back..

Remus didn't quite know what to think when the kitten jumped on his back. He was torn between screaming bloody murder at it and just reaching up and tossing it off. However, he was too tired to do either. Anyway, for once it wasn't causing any real harm, so there was no reason to evict it just yet. He winced lightly when the kitten's claws went in his back. He paid it no mind though, as he knew it only meant that he was finally settling down. He had to admit, even though it was a Demonic Feline from the Ninth Circle of Hades, it did make a nice warm spot on his back...

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When Sirius arrived home that evening, he didn't quite know what to expect. Part of him expected either one of them to have killed the other or to find one of them tied to a sturdy object. How a kitten could tie a rope without opposable thumbs was beyond Sirius, but if a kitten could do it, he was sure Stalker could.

What he did not expect, however was Remus sound asleep on the couch with Stalker dozing on his back. It took all the will power and dignity he had left in his body to keep from squealing like a first year Hufflepuff girl. This was officially the cutest thing Sirius had seen since a one-year-old Harry had gotten hold of Lily's wand and given James pigtails.

Summoning a blanket from the hall closet, he threw it over the napping pair, careful not to wake either one. Smiling, he snuck up to his room as quietly as he could. That is until he saw what had happened to it...

"Remus! What in Merlin's name did you do to my room?"

Done on the couch, two sets of eyes opened with a start. Remus gulped, threw the blanket off and ran.

Stalker adjusted back down in the blanket, closed his eyes...and smirked.

THE END