The universe is filled with billions of extraterrestrial beings, many of them new and undiscovered! But one man named Dandy plans on finding and registering them all! He travels the universe with his crew and amazing pompadour in search of adventure, excitement, and boobies! These are the adventures of the dandiest guy in space, Space Dandy!

Loud snoring sounds filled the hull of the Aloha Oe as the ship drifted through space, the noise's source being our handsome hero, Space Dandy, sleeping off the events of the previous day. Unfortunately, his peaceful sleep came to an abrupt end thanks to a certain blonde alien chick tiptoeing into his sleeping quarters…

"Psst, Mr. Funny-hair..." Dandy felt a finger jab into the side of his face three times. Dandy mumbled something, but remained asleep. "Psst!" Carrie whispered again, poking him.

"Damn space gnomes…" Dandy mumbled in his sleep as he rolled over. Carrie carefully crept around to the other side of Dandy's bed and prodded him again in the face.

"Wakey-wakey," Carrie giggled, poking him repeatedly.

"Pointy-hatted freaks…" Dandy mumbled again. He opened his eyes to find Carrie standing over him.

"Morning!" She beamed. Dandy screamed in terror.

"Big-titted space gnome!" Dandy yelled, jumping out of his bed. Carrie laughed at him. "Oh, it's you… What the hell are you doing on my ship?"

"I got bored and wanted someone to play with," Carrie answered. "Do you know how to play hide and seek?"

Dandy just stood to his feet, feeling quite hung-over. He staggered over to his dresser, supporting himself on it with his arm.

"Are you okay?" Carrie asked. Dandy just looked at himself in the mirror and groaned. He felt horrible! "Are you gonna throw up? I bet you're gonna throw up!" Carrie teased.

"Good, you're finally awake," QT said, rolling into the room.

"Good morning, talking vacuum cleaner!" Carrie greeted her.

"What the hell happened last night?" Dandy asked.

"You tell me!" QT answered, sounding quite upset with Dandy. "You and Meow went to pay the docking fees with the money that creepy skeleton guy gave us and you didn't come back until five this morning!" Just as QT finished, Meow stumbled into the room, looking just as hung-over as Dandy.

"Damn, that was some fun we had last night, huh Dandy?" Meow mumbled. Feeling queasy, he bent over a conveniently-placed trash can and threw up in it.

"What fun?" Dandy asked, his stomach starting to churn.

"Remember? We went to Boobies and had us a good time with that twenty-five hundred we scored!" Meow stammered. "Man, you were so smashed last night!"

"Oh yeah…" Dandy moaned.

"So that would explain why I woke up to find the ship floating in the middle of space this morning," QT snapped.

"What are you talking about?" Dandy asked, throwing up in the trash can. "We're still docked at Dock 15."

"You might want to check outside," QT replied. Dandy, Meow, and Carrie rushed over to the window, where they saw nothing but endless, black space dotted with millions of stars.

"Wow, it's so pretty," Carrie chimed.

"Oh shit, the dock fee!" Dandy ran towards the cockpit.

"Wait! Dandy!" QT called after him, but was stopped by Meow throwing up in the trash can again.

"Wait for me!" Carrie cheered happily, running after Dandy.

Dandy nearly ran into the back of the pilot's chair and looked out the window; the only thing there was empty space and a sheet of paper taped to the outside of the glass. Dandy took a closer look at it. It was a parking violation ticket, reading that Dandy was three days past due for paying his dock fees and as a consequence, his ship had been jettisoned from the station. Now, he was drifting in space with no idea where he was at.

"Shit, shit, shit!" Dandy yelled, pushing buttons and flipping switches, trying to figure out where the hell he was at. "This is all that damn fanfic author's fault!"

"At least he didn't spend twenty-five thousand woolongs on booze and forget to pay his parking fees…" QT stated, rolling into the cockpit.

"How the hell… Oh!"

Memories from last night suddenly started coming back to Dandy. He remembered sitting at the bar at Boobies with Meow, both of them throwing woolongs at the bar patrons around them and chugging huge glasses of space beer.

"Drinks are on me!" Dandy remembered himself cheering as he and Meow stuck their mouths under the taps behind the bar.

"Hey what about that dock fee thing we were supposed to pay?" Flashback Meow giggled as he flung a fistful of woolongs at a crowd of hot women.

"Screw that! We're living like kings tonight! The dock guys can kiss my ass!" Flashback Dandy cheered, surrounded by hot women and holding two huge mugs of booze in his hands.

Dandy stared out into space for a few moments when Carrie ran into the cockpit with them.

"Found you!" She exclaimed. Dandy put his hands on his head and groaned.

"Dandy…" QT said. "You're a dumbass!"

"Let's just quit pointing fingers and try to go back to the docks," Dandy muttered as he sat down in the pilot's seat. "We shouldn't be too far away from the station…"

"I wouldn't say that. While you slept in, a tanker snagged us in its tow cables and dragged us deep into space," QT explained. "I tried to wake you, but you wouldn't get up."

"You damn hunk of junk! You knew what happened all along, didn't you?"

"Hey, I'm not the one who forgot to pay the dock fee!"

"Hey, I can't help it! The fanfic writer made me do it, blame him!" Dandy argued. "Ugh, let's just get back to the docks." Dandy pushed a button, but nothing happened. "Why aren't the coordinates being brought up?" Dandy asked, pushing the button repeatedly with nothing happening.

"Remember that fight we had with Carrie yesterday, right before we brought her to the Registry Station?" QT asked.

"Yeah…"

"She… kind of ripped out our navigational computer."

Dandy covered his hand with his face. "Ugh Carrie, why did you have to do that?" Dandy scowled at Carrie, who just shrugged.

"Why don't we try navigating by the stars," Meow suggested.

"That's not a bad idea!" QT added. "Quick, let's look for any constellations that look familiar. The four of them stood in the cockpit for several minutes as the ship spun around a few times, trying to find familiar star patterns to tell them where they were.

"This is boring," Carrie complained. "I'm going to go watch the T.V. box."

"Whatever," Dandy replied.

"Dandy, I can't find any familiar star patterns," QT said. "At least, not any that are stored in my data banks."

"Check those stars out!" Dandy pointed to a group of stars to their right. "They're shaped like that waitress's ass we saw last night." QT groaned.

"Dandy focus!" QT yelled.

"You're supposed to be the smart guy on the team! Why can't you solve this?" Meow yelled back.

"I'm just a maintenance droid!" QT argued. "Granted, I'm smarter and more advanced than most, but still! I can't do it all!"

"Say QT," Dandy said. "How can you tell if you're close to a star system?"

"By looking for a large disk of light," QT anwered.

"Does that look like it?"

Dandy pointed to a large, bright object in the distance. It was too bright to be another spaceship, planet, or comet. It looked like a faraway spotlight shining in their direction. Dandy activated the ship's engines and sped towards it. Along the way, he passed by several strange-looking planets surrounded by rings of what appeared to be wrecked ships.

"Hey, I recognize this system!" Meow exclaimed. "It's the Gorron System!"

"I've never heard of it," Dandy said.

"I have," QT added. "It hasn't been explored in several millennia. No one goes near it because it's said the system is cursed!"

"Cursed!?" Meow yelped, frightened by what he heard.

"How can a solar system be cursed?" Dandy asked skeptically.

"I'm not sure, but they say no one has ever returned alive."

Dandy smiled. "Well, why don't we be the first? Are there any habitable planets here?"

"Just one," QT answered. "But it's the second half of a binary planet system. Landing on it will be difficult."

Dandy examined the twin planets as they quickly came into view. "They don't look too bad," he said smugly. "You don't know what you're talking about, QT!"

QT groaned. "Just make sure you land on the dark blue planet…"

The Aloha Oe slowed down as it flew towards the binary planets. The ship had to fly around the other, lighter blue planet to get to its twin, the darker blue Gorron II. As the ship moved towards its destination, Gorron III, the lighter blue planet, moved behind the Aloha Oe, putting it directly between the two planets. Just a few minutes after that happened, something odd happened…

"That's weird…" Dandy said, looking at the ship's console. "The 'check engine' light just came on."

The Aloha Oe shook violently for a few seconds and the power went off. With the artificial gravity gone, everyone floated up towards the ceiling.

"Hey, the T.V.'s out," Carrie said, floating back inside the now-dark cockpit.

"That felt like an electromagnetic pulse," QT stated as he tried to return to the ground. Dandy pulled himself back in his seat and strapped himself in.

"Damn, the controls won't respond!" Dandy banged on the console as the ship continued to speed towards Gorron II. "The engines are down, why aren't we stopping?"

"This is space, not air Dandy!" QT explained as he tried getting the ship back online. "We'll keep going at this speed until we hit something!" Dandy's eyes grew huge as the ship barreled towards Gorron II.

"Where the hell did that pulse come from, anyway!?" Meow asked as he uselessly pressed buttons on the console.

"I'm not sure, but my sensors detect another massive EMP blast heading this way! It's much bigger than the last one!"

Just as QT finished his sentence, a massive electromagnetic pulse struck the ship, sending it spiraling towards Gorron II. The ship broke through the planet's atmosphere and into a massive electrical storm, multiple lightning bolts striking the Aloha Oe. Finally, the ship crashed into a deep marsh. Just as the ship hit the bottom, some airbags deployed, floating it towards the surface.

The crew was passed out on the floor, except for Dandy who was passed out on the console. He was the first to come to, followed by the others. The windows were caked with swamp sludge, so nobody could see out of them. Worse, since none of the ships electronics were working, the ship was pitch black on the inside. QT grabbed an emergency flare from one of the compartments in the cockpit and lit it.

"That was fun!" Carrie shouted.

QT opened a panel under the ship's console to examine the contents. "Just as I thought. The electronics are completely fried. We're not going anywhere."

"Damn fanfic author! I'm getting tired of his bullshit!" Dandy grumbled.

The crew made their way towards an emergency hatch at the top of the ship and climbed out of it. The normally yellow Aloha Oe was now a sickly brownish-green color from the mud and swamp scum covering it. There was swamp all around them with fallen trees from their impact all around them.

"Ugh, this place smells like Meow's morning breath!" Dandy exclaimed, covering his nose.

"The ship's lower levels should remain water-tight for a while. There doesn't appear to be any major structural damage, or else we'd start sinking even with the inflatables," QT explained.

"QT, is the electrical damage fixable?" Dandy asked.

"For the most part; it's mostly the memory board for the ship's operating system that's fried. Without it, most of the ship's systems won't work." Dandy groaned.

"We could try firing the engines manually," QT added, "but we'd have to get out of this swamp and de-gunk them…"

"Does this mean no more T.V.?" Carrie asked. Dandy replied by smacking her in the back of the head, accidentally causing her to slip on the slime and fall into the swamp.

"Dandy!" QT scolded.

The crew leaned over the side to see the Sepian in the water. If she wouldn't have been flailing helplessly, they wouldn't have been able to distinguish her from the dark green scum covering her and the surface of the water.

"Help! I can't swim!" Carrie coughed as she splashed around.

"Quick! Get a rope!" Meow yelled.

Instead, Dandy yanked out QT's plug-in cord, tied it to his wrist, and threw the little robot into the water with Carrie.

"Damn you, Dandy!" QT screamed as Carrie wrapped her arms around the little droid. Dandy and Meow then started pulling them in.

"Ugh, those breasts of hers must be made of lead…" Meow groaned as he struggled with the cord.

"What the hell does this girl eat, boulders?" Dandy griped as he helped pull the Sepian and the little droid up onto the top of the ship.

The two of them were soaking wet and covered in mud and sludge. QT used his vacuum hands to expel some of the mud that had gotten inside his electronics, but the sludge clung to Carrie. She shook her head to try and shake some of it out of her once-blonde hair, but her hair retained its new, mold-green color. Carrie could only growl in frustration as she wiped what she could off of her arms and face. QT made about the same progress himself, only managing to scrape just enough off of his optics to see.

"Thanks a lot, Dandy," QT yelled. "I'll be cleaning mud out of my joints for weeks! And I'm sure I'll need a new plug!" Carrie coughed up a huge ball of swamp sludge, and then fell over.

"Well, there went that plan…" Dandy muttered.

"What plan?" Meow asked.

"I was going to have Carrie move our ship out of the swamp for us with her immense strength, but since she can't swim…"

"There you are! I knew my sensors detected survivors!" A synthesized voice yelled.

Dandy pulled out his pistol. "Who's there?"

"Oh, there's no reason to be alarmed! I am merely a surveillance probe sent out to investigate your crash site," the voice replied. Just then, a small probe with a holographic face floated to the top of the Aloha Oe. "It's about time someone came to rescue me! I've been waiting eighty-seven point one five cycles for you!"

"What are you?" Dandy asked, very confused.

"Why, I am THOMAS IV, the most advanced A.I. in the universe!" QT rolled his eyes, unimpressed. "I was formerly the A.I. of the Space Marine flagship, the Colossus, however we crashed here. Weren't you properly briefed on your mission?"

"Briefed? Hold on, we weren't sent to find any wrecked Space Marine ship," Dandy replied. "We just came here to check out this planet. We're alien hunters."

"Oh…" THOMAS IV muttered, disappointed by what he heard. "My, what a nice vessel you have." THOMAS IV hovered around the ship, scanning it. "It's a high-performance B-class cruiser... Very impressive…"

"Wait a minute," Dandy interrupted. "Did you say you crashed here in a Space Marine ship?"

"That is correct, mister…?"

"Dandy. Space... Dandy!" Dandy ran his comb through his pompadour. "Now, about this ship of yours, is it nearby?"

"It is exactly one point twelve kilometers south-southeast of your crash site," THOMAS replied. "If you intend to raid my old ship of spare parts, then I can gladly assist you, Mr. Dandy." QT scowled at the floating probe, visibly jealous.

"Good! Now we just need to get the Aloha Oe to shore!"

"I can help with that as well," THOMAS said. "My ship has several functional XG-P9 towing robots that I can control remotely."

In a few short minutes, THOMAS had the Aloha Oe towed to shore, hundreds of little probes with tiny arms and hands cleaning off the gunk and making repairs. Meanwhile, Dandy, Meow, Carrie, and QT laid back on beach chairs. Carrie and QT were also being cleaned by a few of the little probes.

"This is working out nicely," Dandy said, putting his hands behind his head.

"I don't trust that AI," QT remarked. "Most advanced in the universe, my charging port… What the hell is this fanfic author getting at, trying to replace me as the best machine in this series!"

"No one's trying to replace you," Dandy reassured his robot sidekick. "And you're not that impressive."

"Shouldn't we be hunting for a new alien, or something?" QT asked, slightly annoyed with Dandy.

"I suppose we could… Hey, THOMAS!"

"You called, sir?" One of the THOMAS probes answered politely.

"Are there any undiscovered alien species on this planet?" Dandy asked.

"Only one, sir. The others are quite common on other wet, marshy planets, but this one has a creature not even my data banks have information on. I have come to the conclusion that it is a crustacean of some kind." THOMAS projected an odd-looking creature. It looked sort of like a giant upside down popcorn kernel, only black with six crab-like legs and a set of stalked eyes poking out of it.

"Looks like an upside down burnt popcorn kernel with legs…" Meow observed.

"Well, let's go catch us one while our friend THOMAS repairs our ship!" Dandy stood to his feet and stretched.

"I think it would be better if I stayed to oversee repairs," Meow said, leaning back in his lounge chair. "Maybe catch a few z's…"

"Eh, go ahead. I'll probably only need Carrie and QT anyway."

And with that, Dandy led QT and Carrie deep into the swamp as Meow fell asleep in his lounge. THOMAS watched them closely as they left, his eyes glowing a bright blue…

"I'm bored!" Carrie complained, not five minutes after they left. She ripped a branch out of one of the strange-looking trees and took a bite out of it.

"Shut up, you're gonna scare everything off!" Dandy yelled. "And stop that crunching!"

"You're being just as loud…" QT murmured. "Hey, my sensors are picking up movement just ahead!"

The three of them walked a bit further until they came across one of these creatures. It looked just as Meow described. The creature scuttled along on its crab-like legs, its eyestalks bobbing up and down as it walked sideways. It didn't have any claws to speak of, but the front of its body had what looked like antennae sticking out of its shell. The gang snuck up on it, but the creature immediately noticed them and tucked in its legs and eyes. In this position, it really did look like a giant popcorn kernel.

"That was easy," Dandy said, picking up the creature. It was just a bit bigger than a bowling ball, but felt a bit lighter. Dandy knocked on its shell. "Damn, this think feels tough…"

"Well, I guess that ends that!" QT noted.

"Here, you can hold on to it until we get back to the ship." Dandy handed the creature to Carrie, who gave the creature a weird look. "Now which way is the ship…"

"Um, Dandy…" QT tugged on Dandy's pant leg. Dandy looked down at his robot companion who pointed back to Carrie, who had somehow managed to cram the creature into her mouth.

"Carrie!"

Dandy and QT ran (and rolled) at Carrie to try and stop her. Startled, the Sepian tried to swallow her prey quickly, but it got lodged at the back of her throat. Carrie turned to run away from Dandy and QT, but she started to choke on her meal and fell to her knees, gagging.

"Spit it out!" Dandy commanded, smacking Carrie on the back with a stick he found. Carrie just flailed her arms as she continued to choke.

"How the hell is she even swallowing that thing?" QT asked as he grabbed a big stick herself.

"I don't know," Dandy answered as he hit Carrie in the back again. Just as Dandy was about to smack Carrie again, he heard a loud gulp!

"Ugh…" Carrie gasped, massaging her aching throat. Dandy and QT let the Sepian have it, and smacked her across the head with their sticks. She fell to the ground, a huge knot on her head.

"I thought that damn A.I. said those things were common," Dandy complained as he poked around for another one of those creatures.

"Look, there goes one!" QT shouted.

Another popcorn kernel creature scurried out of a bush. The two ran after it as it scuttled away.

"Wait for me!" Carrie yelled after them, trying to stand up. She stumbled after them, still dazed from being hit in the head.

The three of them chased the creature to a less-soggy location, where they found the wreckage of a massive ship. The ship looked like it had been there for years. Vines had started to wrap themselves around its hull and its paint job was replaced by patches of rust and dirt. Painted on the side in faded letters was The Colossus with the Space Marines' logo painted underneath.

"Whoa…" Dandy said in awe as he stared at the remains. Carrie finally caught up with them, gasping for breath. "Oh, there you are. What took ya?"

"You hit me on the head," Carrie growled.

"I bet our alien ran in here," QT said, pointing at a large opening in the ship.

QT led Dandy and Carrie inside the ship, using his screen as a makeshift flashlight. Broken metal and smashed electronics covered the floor. The wiring looked like it had either melted or was welded to the walls and ceiling. The lights were all broken and chunks of the floor, ceiling, and walls were missing.

"Be careful," QT warned. "I'm detecting massive structural instability."

Dandy pulled out his pistol and cautiously walked through the ship's hallway until he and his friends came to a massive chunk of metal blocking the hallway; a dead end.

"Looks like we'll have to turn back," Dandy said.

"I can move it," Carrie suggested. Before anyone could say anything else, she bent the piece of metal back against the wall, clearing the path.

"Be careful!" QT scolded her. "You could've caused this place to collapse!"

The three of them continued further into the ship's interior. They ran across a few dead skeletons of the Space Marines that commandeered the ship before it crashed here.

"One of the reasons I didn't join these guys," Dandy remarked, examining a corpse.

"Woo! I'm a spooky skeleton!" Carrie moaned, making one of the skeletons dance around.

"Carrie, you shouldn't be doing that!"

"Aw, okay…" Carrie tossed the skeleton aside, causing Dandy and QT to shudder.

"Don't you have any respect for the dead!?" QT scolded her.

Carrie stared at the robot until something caught her attention. "Hey, something's moving over there!" Carrie pointed down another hallway.

Dandy shone a flashlight down the dark corridor, and at the end was the creature they were chasing earlier. Startled by the sudden change in lighting, it scuttled through into a dark room with most of the door smashed in. Dandy, Carrie, and QT chased after it.

The creature had led them into the ship's data archive room, where all the ship's memory banks were located. As Carrie and Dandy hunted for the creature, QT plugged himself in to one of the computers and began reading the data files. An exclamation point flashed on QT's screen.

"Dammit, where did that oversized hemorrhoid run off to?" Dandy grumbled.

"Um, you guys might want to hear this!" QT yelled.

"What is it, QT?" Dandy asked, sounding uninterested.

"Our new friend isn't as stable as we think. According to these damage reports, his programming was damaged by electromagnetic pulses, and he went crazy and killed the crew!"

"Oh my!" A familiar voice echoed. QT, Dandy, and Carrie turned to the doorway to see a THOMAS probe and a tow robot blocking the doorway. "I apologize, but access to the ship is heavily restricted. You will have to be terminated." The THOMAS probe's and the tow robot's eyes started glowing a bright blue and they floated towards Dandy and his friends.

"Eat this, you flying pie plate!" Dandy shot the THOMAS probe with his pistol. "Always a surprise with this fanfic author! Nothing is ever obvious or easy!"

"If you had read a few paragraphs before, you would have seen this coming," QT said as Carrie took out the oversized tow robot by crushing it with a steel beam.

"Now you tell me!"

"Um, is that supposed to happen?" Carrie asked, looking up.

Dandy and QT looked up to see the roof being peeled off from above them. A giant, holographic THOMAS IV face peered at them from above, its image being projected by a giant mess of mechanical parts joined together to look like a giant centipede.

"Oh shit!" Dandy cried as he fired multiple shots at the new enemy, but they just glanced off of the mechanical beast.

"Commencing termination of intruders," the mechanical monster announced as it lifted one of its mechanical legs.

The leg split apart into thousands of robotic hands and pincers, all of them reaching for Dandy, Carrie, and QT. The three of them got out of the way as it crashed down in front of them, smashing part of the floor.

"Carrie, do something!" Dandy yelled.

Carrie grabbed another steel beam jutting from the wall. Unfortunately, when she pulled it free, she pulled the wall down on top of herself, knocking herself unconscious.

"Just great…" Dandy muttered.

"What do we do!?" QT asked as the mechanical hands crawled closer and closer to her and Dandy.

"We get the hell out of here!" Dandy grabbed QT and bolted out the door.

The mechanical abomination retracted its mess of mechanical parts and started to tear the ship apart, looking for Dandy and QT.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit!" Dandy yelled as the ship fell apart around him. He finally made it out, but was stopped by a huge hunk of metal landing in front of him.

Dandy and QT turned around to see the mechanical monstrosity stomping towards them on thousands of tiny mechanical arms and legs. Parts of its body extended out at them, each ending in dozens of grabbing fingers and claws. Just as Dandy and QT thought it was all over, a giant chunk of metal smacked the creature in the head (or, where the head would normally be, anyway). It turned around to find Carrie, who had climbed up on the hull of The Colossus.

Carrie ripped off another piece of metal from the ship and tossed it at the creature as if it were a Frisbee, only for the monster to smack it away. The mechanical monster turned its attention towards the Sepian, who blew a raspberry at it and jumped into a hole just as one of its legs came crashing down on her previous location.

"Talk about a stroke of luck," Dandy said.

"Let's get back to the ship before that thing decides to come after us again," QT suggested as THOMAS IV tore apart the hull of The Colossus further, trying to find the annoying Sepian.

The two of them high-tailed it out of there to find that the THOMAS probes had finished repairing the Aloha Oe. The probes had tied Meow to a tree and were loading spare parts onto the ship. Dandy's Hawaiian-themed stuff was being thrown out as the probes loaded more parts onto the ship.

"What the hell do you think you're doing to my ship!?" Dandy yelled.

"Preparing for take-off, Mr. Dandy," THOMAS IV answered. "Once I leave this godforsaken planet, I'm going to assert myself as the greatest artificial mind in the universe! They'll all pay for abandoning me!"

"You're not so great!" QT shouted back. "I've read your data files! You're just an incomplete prototype! You'll never be as smart as me, who's more complete than you'll ever be!"

"Shut up!" THOMAS IV screamed. Just then, the ground started shaking. Carrie ran out of the woods and up to Dandy and QT.

"Can't…run…so…tired…" Carrie panted.

The giant THOMAS IV robot from the Colossus wreckage emerged from the tree line, throwing bits of earth and lumber in the air as it tore after Carrie. However, instead of attacking the tired lizard girl, it turned its attention to the Aloha Oe.

"Now, I'm going to assimilate your ship!" The THOMAS IV robot roared.

Dandy ran for his ship, shooting THOMAS probes as he went. QT untied Meow and followed, Carrie still trying to catch her breath.

"Those flying tin cans attacked me for no reason and started to fill the ship with junk!" Meow complained as he ran aboard the ship with Dandy.

"Are we taking off, Dandy?" QT asked. "What about Carrie!?"

"We'll pick her up as we take off," Dandy said as he jumped in the pilot's chair. "Now I'm gonna need you to help me…"

Dandy looked behind him to see a mess of mechanical arms dragging QT away.

"QT!" Dandy fired at the arms uselessly, but they dragged her out of the ship. "Son of a bitch…"

Dandy followed them outside where he watched the arms drop QT into a mouth-like opening.

"Who's the most advanced now?" THOMAS IV boasted as he turned his attention to Carrie, who was busy uprooting a large tree.

She swung it at THOMAS IV, but it just shattered into a bunch of splinters.

"Let's just get out of here," Meow suggested.

"Nope, we're gonna show this oversized, walking scrapheap that no one messes with Space Dandy!" Dandy ran back into his ship.

"Oh, no you don't!" THOMAS IV yelled.

"What are you planning, Dandy!?" Meow asked, running after him.

Dandy ran to his smaller escape pod and jumped in the cockpit. "I hope you're not thinking of using the Hawaii Yankee. There's no way it can handle that oversized pile of junk!"

"Nope, but the Yankee Special can!" Dandy pressed a button and the Aloha Oe began to transform.

The entire ship transformed into a huge robot with armor around its legs shaped like swimming trunks with Hawaiian flowers printed on them. The massive mech stood to its feet as Dandy flew around it in his escape pod. The escape pod transformed into the Hawaii Yankee combat robot, and then into a giant, mechanical likeness of Dandy's head, complete with a mechanical pompadour.

"Now, let's see how you match the Hawaii Yankee Special®!" Dandy yelled as his newly-transformed mech clenched its fists, ready to engage THOMAS IV in hand-to-hand combat.

"Ggggrrrraaaahhh!" THOMAS screamed as he enveloped the Yankee Special in thousands of mechanical hands.

Dandy struggled to pry the massive pile of conjoined robot parts off of him, but they overwhelmed the Hawaii Yankee Special®, knocking it to the ground. Sparks flew from the control panel and warning lights flashed as Dandy fought with the controls. He could hear his mech's armor groaning to support the weight of his opponent. Suddenly, THOMAS IV screamed in pain and let Dandy go. Sparks flew from him as he writhed in agony.

"Dandy!" Dandy heard a familiar voice yell over his communicator. "Get ready to finish him off!"

Dandy hesitated for a moment. "Right," he replied. He pressed a button and out of the robot's hand appeared a huge, flame-shaped sword.

"Cut off the head!" QT yelled over the intercom.

Dandy did as he was told. The Hawaii Yankee Special® swung its sword and decapitated the mechanical abomination's head. The holographic projectors projecting THOMAS's face flickered as it fell to the ground with a thud. The rest of the body shuttered as it shook itself apart, bits of robot parts flew everywhere as it collapsed. QT dragged himself out of the rubble, damaged, but repairable. The Hawaii Yankee Special® transformed back into the Aloha Oe and Dandy left the ship.

"You okay, QT?" He asked the little robot.

"Y-y-yes…" QT answered weakly, his voice glitching. "A good-good-good repair job, and I'll be f-f-fine…"

Dandy reached into the rubble and grabbed a piece that looked like his ship's fried memory board.

"I think I can use this. C'mon Carrie, we're heading out!"

"Yay!" Carrie cheered as she ran aboard the ship. Dandy carefully lifted up QT and boarded the ship himself. The ship took off and left Gorron II behind.

"That was so cool how you cut off that giant bug's head!" Carrie screamed. "It was all like, 'grr', 'rawr'! But then you were all, shoom! Boosh! And his head fell off!"

"Yeah. Hopefully we'll never have to do that again!" Meow said, as Carrie re-enacted the fight by swinging around a broom.

"The way this fanfic author operates," Dandy replied, "I wouldn't put money on that. Too bad we never got that alien…"

"Hey, can we stop and get something to eat?" Carrie asked. "I'm feeling-" Carrie stopped mid-sentence. Suddenly, she coughed up the creature she had eaten earlier. It was completely unharmed, despite being covered in Carrie's drool.

"Well, look at that!" Dandy said.

Carrie grabbed Meow and used him like a towel to wipe her mouth off, covering him in her thick, mucous-like saliva.

"Yuck!" Meow exclaimed.

Dandy laughed as he flipped a few switches on the ships console. He knew immediately their next stop was…

"You guys survived the Gorron system!?" Scarlet asked in astonishment.

Dandy, QT, Meow, and Carrie were all standing in front of Scarlet's desk. They had just told her of their harrowing adventure.

"Yup! We even bagged this little guy!" Dandy put a glass tube with the creature in it. It had come out of its shell and was tapping on the glass with one of its legs.

"Wow, I've actually never seen this thing before!" Scarlet said, examining the creature. She smirked. "Looks like you bagged yourselves an undiscovered crustacean!"

"Lucky bastard!" Somebody in the back of the line shouted.

"Anyway, here's your reward." Scarlet handed Dandy a check for fifty-thousand woolongs. Dandy's eyes turned to dollar signs.

"Woo, now we can have even more fun tonight!" Meow cheered.

Dandy grinned triumphantly, rubbing his earnings in the other alien hunters' faces standing behind him, but he suddenly remembered something. He looked at Meow sternly and shoved the check in his pocket.

"Actually, there's a few things we need to take care of before we do that…"

First, Dandy took QT to a repair shop to get him fixed, as well as get a few new software updates for him. He then used a huge chunk of the money to pay his overdue parking fee, as well as pay the next two months of parking, leaving him with an extra four-thousand woolongs.

"Only four-thousand woolongs!?" Meow whined. "That's nowhere near as fun as fifty-thousand!"

"Hey, I had other stuff that I needed to buy," Dandy replied. "From now on, I'm gonna pay off my debts and not let them pile up like they did in the first place."

"Right… We're still going to use the rest of the money to go drinking tonight, right Dandy?"

"Actually, I thought I'd celebrate by repaying one last debt…"

Later that night, Dandy and his crew once again visited the local Boobies restaurant. Dandy, however, wanted to make it a special night for his newest official crew member, Carrie. He blindfolded her and led her into the restaurant, which he had bought out for the night. Whatever was left, he used to purchase Boobie's special menu item, endless barbeque space chicken wings.

"Eh, this is okay," Meow muttered as he bit into a chicken wing. "Not as good as endless booze, but whatever."

"Hey, we still got a little left for booze!" Dandy said as Honey poured them both an extra frothy mug of space beer.

"Looks like you guys got a big haul," she sneered, trying to hide her jealousy. "I wish I could afford this kind of party…"

"I'm just glad we can actually call this one a win," QT said.

"Uh, Mr. Dandy…" the restaurant manager said, tapping on Dandy's shoulder.

"What? What do you want?" The manager pointed over at Carrie, who was shoveling space chicken wings in her mouth, bones and all.

"I'm afraid your bill won't cover that…"

"But I paid you four-thousand woolongs for this feast!" Dandy protested.

"Yeah, but we took part of it to pay for the damages from last night, when you trashed my restaurant you drunk asshole!"

Dandy tried to stop Carrie from eating the rest of the chicken, but she had already scarfed down the last bone.

"Dammit, Carrie!" Dandy yelled.