The universe is filled with billions of extraterrestrial beings, many of them new and undiscovered! But one man named Dandy plans on finding and registering them all! He travels the universe with his crew and amazing pompadour in search of adventure, excitement, and boobies! These are the adventures of the dandiest guy in space, Space Dandy!
"I'm starving," Dandy moaned as he reclined on the couch.
"Well, it is lunch time…" Meow remarked, looking at the clock hanging on the wall.
"I'm gonna grab some lunch. You want anything from the kitchen, Meow?"
"Grab me a beer and a bag of chips," Meow answered.
"Sure…"
Dandy meandered into the kitchen, his stomach growling, only to find that the kitchen had been completely ransacked. The refrigerator door had been left open and there wasn't a scrap of food nor a drop of beer left inside. The pantries were completely barren and everything on the counter either had a huge bite taken out of it or was covered in clear, mucous-like drool. Dandy scoured the kitchen for something, anything, he could find to eat when he found a long strand of blonde hair on the counter.
"Carrie…" Dandy growled, gritting his teeth as his stomach grumbled again.
He picked up a rolling pin Carrie had taken a bite out of and stormed down the hallway, following a trail of saliva and bite marks Carrie had left behind. Dandy was then stopped by QT, who was missing one of his arms.
"Dandy, we're out of food to feed Carrie…" The little robot said, pointing to where his arm used to be.
"I noticed," Dandy muttered, showing QT the half-eaten rolling pin. "I was just about to go…" Dandy's stomach growled again, causing the alien hunter to groan. "Take care of the problem."
Dandy walked towards Carrie's room, QT tagging along. He and QT snuck into her bedroom, where they found the busty Sepian girl sitting on her bed, watching something on a small TV set. Dandy lunged, prepared to bash Carrie over the head with his half-eaten rolling pin, but Carrie was too quick. She caught him and put him in a headlock, putting Dandy's face in the side of her boob.
"Funny-haired guy!" Carrie exclaimed, messing up Dandy's pompadour. "I got a new TV!"
Carrie pointed to her TV, which was merely the shell of an old TV someone had thrown out with the screen busted out and a small fire burning inside of it. Of course Dandy couldn't see anything but Carrie's shirt, as her left breast obstructed his vision.
"Carrie, we need to talk," Dandy said as he tried to squirm out of Carrie's hold on him.
"Okay."
Carrie released the alien hunter and he threw the rolling pin over his shoulder, hitting QT on accident. Dandy sat on the bed beside Carrie.
"Okay, I know you're not human-"
"What do you mean, 'not human'?" Carrie interrupted, tilting her head to the side.
"Well, you're one of those See-poh, See-pai…"
"Sepian…" QT corrected Dandy as he yanked the rolling pin from the huge dent he now had in the top of his head.
"What QT said…" Carrie tilted her head to the side. "As I was saying, I know you feel that you have to… eat a lot. In fact, you tend to eat a whole lot. And you eat everything… But I'm going to have to ask you to stop."
"Stop eating? But I'll starve!" Carrie protested as she picked up a piece of scrap metal and took a bite out of it.
"Well, could you at least cut back a little?" Dandy tried asking again. "Maybe not eat stuff that's not food."
"What are you talking about? Everything I eat is food," Carrie answered. She picked up what looked like an old computer chip and ate it.
"That thing you just ate wasn't food…"
"Yes it was. I just ate it, didn't I?"
"Yeah, but-"
"Then it was food." Carrie ate another piece of metal she found lying on the floor.
Dandy was on the losing end of this debate, due in part to both Carrie's skewed logic and her Sepian biology. You see, contrary to popular belief that Sepians were strict carnivores due to their war-like nature and fondness for meat, they are, in fact, opportunistic feeders meaning they'll eat anything. Meat is actually hard to come by in some parts of the universe, and Sepians had to adapt to survive in such places since they spent most of their time fighting other civilizations in space, so they became more omnivorous and learned to start eating other things, like prisoners of war and space rocks. Sepians can also digest and metabolize almost anything that either isn't too hard for them to bite into or too big to swallow hole. Carrie isn't any different from her Sepian ancestors, however she actually enjoys eating, so she'll try to make a meal out of anything that can't tell her "no" or isn't too big for her to swallow whole.
"Damn, so no matter what I do, she's just going to keep eating," Dandy complained as he read the expositive paragraph above.
"It would seem so," QT replied. "According to her data file, Sepians digest and metabolize most of their food quickly, causing them to have a seemingly insatiable appetite."
"Well, there's got to be something in that file that can help us stop this!" Dandy cried, picking up QT and shaking him around. "She's eating us out of house and home! Hell, she's started eating the ship!" Dandy pointed to Carrie, who just took a bite out of the metal wall.
"Well, her file does say that in colder weather, a Sepian's metabolism slows down dramatically and they may semi-hibernate to conserve energy, but cold weather also weakens their immune system."
"Ah, so if we just turn on the A.C., Carrie won't eat as much."
"Yeah, but she'll also be sick all the time. Remember that time she ran out into onto that snowy planet without her jacket and caught the Archaeon flu?"
"Ugh, I try not to remember that…" Dandy winced. "Wait, aren't Sepians some kind of hybrid human?"
"Sort of. They're bio-genetically engineered beings created from early Scandinavian Earthlings and some extinct, reptilian beings called the Komodese," QT explained.
"So, what if we take her to a scientist and get them to remove all the stuff that makes her not-human? Will she stop eating everything?"
QT took a moment to decipher Dandy's words.
"Oh, you're talking about modifying Carrie's DNA to make her human. It could work in theory, but we'd need to find someone skilled with genetic engineering. And we'd have to get Carrie's consent."
"Hey Carrie!" Dandy shouted. He watched angrily as Carrie took a bite out of one of his's swimsuit magazines. "Can we take out some of your DNA?"
"Okay, but you have to trade me something in return!" Carrie finished off the magazine and let out a loud belch.
"That was ridiculously easy," QT remarked.
"Fine," Dandy moaned. "How about a steak?"
"Can it be a cyborg ninja steak that does exploding backflips?"
"Yeah, sure whatever…"
"Then okay!"
"Good, now all we need to do is look for a geneticist or something," Dandy said.
"Way ahead of you."
QT handed Dandy an open phone book and pointed to a number.
"Doctor Stephen Blum, Genetic Splicing and Experimentation," Dandy read. "Walk-ins welcome, eh?" Meow wandered into Carrie's room, looking for Dandy.
"What the hell is everyone doing in here?" Meow asked.
"We were just discussing our next plot point," QT answered.
"Ugh, can't we just go on another hiatus? I'm sure the readers could wait another month or a year..."
"Nope, sorry Meow, but we've got a problem and we need it solved ASAP!"
And with that, the crew flew out of the hangar towards their next destination, Hecate Labs, a space station dedicated to genetic research and experimentation conveniently located along the skirts of an asteroid field just two light-years away from the Alien Registration Center. The Aloha Oe docked beside the old space station and its crew went inside.
"Wow, this place looks abandoned," Dandy muttered, looking around.
Oddly enough, there was no docking crew to meet them, nor were there any guards or other ships docked in any of the other hangars. On top of that, all of the overhead lights were turned off with only the emergency lights dimly illuminating the walkways.
"Ah, visitors," a voice blared over the intercom. "I apologize for the poor lighting and not being able to meet you in person. Please, meet me in Lab 14-B. This should help you out, yes."
A few overhead lights clicked on, making a faint buzzing noise. They seemed to lead out of the only doorway in the hangar and down a hallway. Dandy and his crew followed the lights until they stopped in front of a metal door.
"Come on in, yes," the same voice exclaimed as the door opened.
The four of them obliged and stepped inside the laboratory. There were two strange machines in the far corner of the room and the counters and tables were covered in glass test tubes, beakers, and coils. An elderly man with purplish-white hair, square-framed glasses, and a fu-manchu greeted them.
"Ah welcome, welcome, yes! I am Doctor Blum, the head scientist, well, the only scientist… here at Hecate Labs."
"What happened to the other scientists and workers?" QT inquired.
"The other scientists got into a massive debate over one of our oldest DNA specimens, and one day they simply got tired of arguing and left, leaving me here to continue my research all by my lonesome, yes," Dr. Blum replied.
"Rather long-winded fellow, isn't he?" Dandy whispered to Meow, who nodded.
"So, what brings you to my laboratory, hmm?"
"Yeah, we're having some problems with one of our friends."
Dandy turned around to find Carrie, but found that she had wandered away from him and was playing with some of Dr. Blum's glass beakers.
"Carrie, put those down!" Carrie set the beaker back on the table, but it wobbled, fell to the floor, and shattered.
"Ha-ha, it broke!" Carrie laughed. Dandy grabbed his forehead and groaned.
"Sorry about that, doc…" He muttered.
"That's quite all right," Dr. Blum said. "I have plenty more in the storage room down stairs, yes!"
He walked over to Carrie and examined her. He tried grabbing the sides of her face, but she snapped at him backed away.
"I take it this is your friend that you're having trouble with, eh? I'm sorry, I'm not that kind of doctor. You see, I study DNA and genetic splicing. If you're looking for a fertility doctor or an OB-GYN-"
"Woah! That's not why we're here," Dandy replied. "We came here because we heard you deal in genetics. You see, she's this thing called a, uh…"
"A Sepian," QT added.
"Yeah, that."
"Oh! I once worked with a man who had adopted one of those. He was an extraterrestrial archaeologist named Gregory Aston, yes!"
Dr. Blum stretched the corner of Carrie's mouth back so he could examine her teeth, but she jerked her head back and growled.
"Ah, I remember you now, of course! Do you remember me?" Carrie just scowled at him and shook her head. She didn't like him prodding and pulling on her face very much. "She seems very healthy, no visible genetic mutation… So what's the problem?"
"We are looking to turn her human so she'll stop eating my stuff!" Dandy answered in a huff.
"Oh! That's quite a request, but, it should be quite easy. You know, Sepians are actually human hybrids created by splicing human DNA with that of a now-extinct-"
"Yeah, yeah we know," Dandy muttered, interrupting Dr. Blum. "So, will you do it?"
"Yes-yes, of course! It's just a matter of extracting the Komodesian DNA and rearranging her genetic structure. But I would like a small favor in return…"
"Sure, as long as it's not money," Dandy answered. "We're kind of broke…"
"No, no, no! I get plenty of funding from my benefactor on Alpha Nine. I only want to keep the Komodesian DNA we extract from Miss Carrie, yes... For some reason, Mr. Gregory wouldn't allow me to take any DNA samples from her the day I met him, no…"
"Sure, why not? Seems like an even trade!"
"Ah, yes! Very good!" Dr. Blum exclaimed. "It's a shame to do this, since she's the last of her kind, but progress is progress, yes. Now, I just need our subject to step into this pod in the left corner of the room, yes-yes!"
Meow and QT eagerly shoved Carrie into the machine and closed the door. Carrie turned around and pressed her nose against the glass window, but then something shiny on the inside of the pod caught her eye, so she went to investigate it. Dr. Blum pressed a button on a computer console, and a mechanical arm holding a syringe poked the Sepian in her tail and extracted some of her blood; Carrie was too busy playing with a metal knob she had broken off the inside of the machine to notice.
"Now, if I could get you to help me, Mister… what was your name?"
"Just call me Dandy."
"Ah, very well! I need you to go into the second pod and press the red button on your left." Dr. Blum fiddled with a control panel in the middle of the lab. "Just be sure you get out of there quickly, or things could get ugly, yes…"
Dandy walked into the second pod, his jacket snagging on the door. He jerked his jacket free, but his pulling caused the door to close and lock behind him. Not realizing what had happened, Dr. Blum pressed a button to activate the machine.
"So, what are these machines supposed to do?" QT asked as the sound of the machines filled the room.
"The pod on the left extracts and modifies the subject's DNA, altering their genetic structure. Then, it extracts any unwanted DNA and sends it into the machine on the right. If there was a subject inside, then their DNA would be infused with this extra DNA, but since there obviously isn't one in there, the DNA will be contained in a small flask and placed in our storage system."
Unfortunately, Dr. Blum was very wrong. Dandy was locked inside the second pod. He desperately banged on the door and screamed at the top of his lungs, but no one could hear him over the mechanical whirring that filled the room.
"Are there any side-effects?" Meow asked.
"Well, the effects of the machine aren't immediate," Dr. Blum explained. "It will take around twenty-four hours for her to become fully human, but she will probably feel nauseated and fatigued for a little over a week after the procedure."
A blinding light flashed from the windows of both pods as their whirring reached a crescendo, but faded quickly as the machines automatically shut down.
"Ah, we are finished, yes!"
Dr. Blum pressed a few buttons on the side of Carrie's pod and the door swung open. The blonde Sepian girl stumbled out, feeling very dizzy. About the same time, the four of them heard a loud, metallic banging coming from the second pod. They turned around to see the door fly off its hinges, revealing a battered and beaten Dandy.
"Oh my! How did you get in there?" Dr. Blum asked the alien hunter.
"I got locked inside! Didn't you hear me screaming?"
"No, sorry. The pods are sound-proof from the inside. The tortured screams of my test subjects can be quite distracting, yes."
"Are you okay, Dandy?" QT asked.
Dandy paused for a moment. "Well, aside from going through the third most painful thing I've ever encountered, I'm actually feeling pretty good! Yeah, I'm feeling great, baby!"
Dandy flexed his muscles and rubbed his bicep.
"Maybe we should run some tests on him, just to be sure," Meow suggested.
"Nonsense," Dr. Blum replied. "He just said he was feeling fine! That machine merely repaired any defective DNA he may have had. I think…"
Dandy grabbed Dr. Blum's hand and shook it. "Thank you, Doc! Not only did you get rid of a major pain in my ass, but I feel like I'm fifteen again."
"No problem, Mr. Dandy! But just to be on the safe side, keep my number handy in case you start exhibiting any strange side effects. There is a slight chance her DNA or your DNA could become unstable."
"No problem!"
Dandy picked Carrie up and threw the three-hundred pound Sepian over his shoulder as if she weighed nothing. He and his crew headed back to the Aloha Oe and took off.
"I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving!"
"But Dandy, we don't have any food," QT informed him. "Remember? Carrie ate it all."
At that moment, Carrie barfed up a ball of purple slime, with shreds of Dandy's magazine and some scrap metal stuck in it.
QT and Meow grimaced in disgust, but Dandy seemed oddly intrigued by this disgusting blob of slime and half-digested odds and ends. Dandy threw Carrie aside like a ragdoll and bent down to examine it. Without thinking, he grabbed what appeared to be a license plate with a bite taken out of it and took a bite out of it himself; it tasted revolting, but for some reason he found himself not minding its metallic-barf taste and scarfed down the license plate. QT and Meow stared at him.
"Are you sure you're okay, Dandy?" Meow asked, concerned about his friend.
"Yeah, I'm just starving." Dandy then started scratching at a place on his lower back. "And I've got this itch and it's annoying as hell!" Dandy then zipped up his coat. "And could someone turn the damn heat up! I'm freezing my ass off!"
QT and Meow exchanged worried glances as Dandy began to eat an empty potato chip bag.
Later that afternoon, Dandy decided to hold his end of the bargain and give Carrie her weird steak. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a "cyborg ninja steak that does exploding backflips," so Dandy cut up one of his old leather shoes to look like a steak and glued wires to it to make it look like it had robotic legs.
"There's your cyborg ninja steak, just like I promised."
Dandy sat the plate in front of Carrie, who was resting her head on the kitchen table. She was pale and didn't look so good. The normally bright green scales on her face had a chalky look to them and were falling out. Her thick reptilian tail had also started to shrivel up like a deflated pool toy.
"I don't feel so good…" She moaned. "It's hot, too."
"Hot? It's freezing in here!" Dandy snapped. "And I had to ruin a good pair of shoes- I mean, I slaved over a hot grill to make you this, so eat it or do without!"
Carrie looked down at the obviously fake steak and threw up more purple goo all over it.
"Dammit Dandy, it feels like we've parked next to a star!" Meow protested as he shambled into the kitchen, sweated heavily. Dandy looked at Meow and growled. "Can we please turn on the AC?"
"QT, what's the temperature in this room right now?" Dandy asked the little yellow robot.
"Ninety-seven degrees Farenheight," QT replied.
"It still feels too cold in here to me. Turn the thermostat up another fifteen degrees. I'm going to bed." Dandy wrapped his coat tightly around himself. "And since you're being an ungrateful little witch…" Dandy snatched Carrie's "steak" and took a bite out of it. "Hmm, not bad…"
"Don't you think Dandy seems a little… off?" Meow asked QT.
"His bio-signs show that he's healthy," QT replied, "so I guess he's fine. The intolerance to cool temperatures, increase in physical strength, and sudden change in diet are a little odd."
"Well, I'm going to call Dr. Blum just to be sure…"
Meow walked towards the phone in the lounge. He picked up the receiver and looked up Dr. Blum's phone number when Dandy walked up to him, obviously pissed off about something.
"What the hell are you doing?" Dandy asked.
"I'm calling Dr. Blum. Something could be wrong with you!"
"Nothing's wrong with me!" Dandy punched the phone, causing it to explode into dust. The impact also caused the table to shatter. "See? Perfectly normal!" Dandy took the receiver from Meow and took a bite out of it. "I'm going to bed. No one touch the thermostat!"
The next day, Carrie had gone through some significant changes. Her sharp, serrated teeth had transformed into normal,dull humanoid teeth and her shriveled tail had fallen off. On top of that, she seemed to be more lethargic and sickly, though the others attributed this to the side-effects Dr. Blum had talked about. Rather than playing or watching TV, she had stretched out on the couch and placed a fan beside her. And in an effort to keep cool, she had tried cutting her long blonde hair out. Unfortunately, Carrie isn't the best with scissors, so her hack job left her with large bald patches on her head.
Dandy himself had also gone through a few changes. He looked like he was wearing dentures from a Pacificaean Shark Warrior, and he had started to grow a thick tail covered in sharp green scales. He had also traded in his trademark jacket for that self-heating jacket his mother bought him last year for Christmas that he swore he'd never wear. Just under his sideburns, he had patches of scales growing in. His pompadour had sprouted a rockin' mullet that went down to his butt. On top of that, he was eating everything he got his hands on.
"Can we call Dr. Blum now?" Meow asked as Dandy lifted up the couch and took a bite out of it.
"Hell no!" Dandy lifted the couch over his head using only his pinky. "Look at me! I'm ten times more awesome than I ever was!" Dandy ripped a large, steel pipe from the wall, bent it into a pretzel shape, and took a bite out of it. "From now on, I don't want you calling me 'Space Dandy.' Call me… Super Dandy!" Dandy threw back his shoulders and walked into his bedroom. "And nobody touch the thermostat!"
Meow glared at QT. "So, what was that you said about his bio-signs?"
"Hey, stay off me! They were normal yesterday!"
"Now what do they say?"
"Well, seventy percent of his genetic structure has been significantly altered, and he can no longer generate his own body heat, hence the wardrobe change. On top of that, his genetic structure seems to be destabilizing."
"And you're just now detecting these changes?"
"Hey, I'm just a cleaning droid!"
"Well, what do we do? He's obviously not going to call Dr. Blum now, thanks to his newly inflated ego…"
"He seems happy, so unless he turns into a blob of primordial ooze, I say we just go along with it until the chapter ends." Meow stared off in the distance for a moment, then he nodded.
Meanwhile, not too far from their location, Commodore Perry and his fleet had just started to surround the space colony Dandy and his crew were docked at.
"Sir, the fleet is almost in place," Bea announced. "We should be ready to begin our attack in forty-five minutes."
"What about their communications and early-warning systems?"
"We're jamming them as we speak," Dr. Gel replied. "They have no idea we're even out here."
"Excellent! Inform me whenever the fleet is in position! Space Dandy will be mine!"
Meanwhile, Dandy, QT, and Meow had decided to go grocery shopping, however, Meow had convinced Dandy to shop a little differently…
"You can't do this!" The store clerk exclaimed as Dandy walked out of the store carrying shelves full of food.
"Hey, I'm the defender of this space colony, so protecting your sorry ass should be payment enough!"
"But Dandy," QT said. "You haven't defended anyone from anything all chapter."
"Yeah, but what if something does happen? I wouldn't have the energy to fight off any space monsters that might attack!"
"But sir, there aren't any space monsters out here!" The clerk protested.
"What about that android Sepian chick that killed that guy in front of your store in the last chapter?"
"Oh, you remember something that happened last chapter, but when Meow and Carrie leave for a few days you forget all about them," QT complained.
Suddenly, the whole colony shook violently, causing Dandy to drop his stolen groceries. Dandy looked out a giant window and saw what appeared to be the head of a giant woman firing plasma bolts at the colony; The Gogol fleet had begun its attack.
"Commodore, we've begun our attack," Dr. Gel said. "Our fleet has blocked all possible escape routes."
"Good work, Doctor! Prepare the invasion forces at once."
Meanwhile, Dandy, Meow, and QT were still reeling as the whole space station shook violently from the assault.
"I told you guys we'd be attacked!" Dandy exclaimed.
"That's got to be the weirdest looking space ship I've ever seen!" QT noted, still looking out the large window.
"That's not a space ship, that's a giant head!" Meow corrected QT.
"Well, it's the perfect chance for me to test out my new strength, so whatever it is, it's going down, baby!"
Dandy punched a hole in the metal floor, peeled a huge chunk of it off as if it were made of tin foil, and then the threw it out the window where it smashed into Commodore Perry's ship, damaging it badly.
"Commodore! A large piece of debris has just crashed into our ship!" One of Commodore Perry's ship technicians yelled. "Reactor three has sustained major damage!"
"Keep attacking!" Perry commanded. "We're so close to achieving our goal!"
"But sir, the reactor could explode at any minute! We have to break off from the fleet to jettison it!"
"If we do that, Dandy will surely seize the opportunity and slip through my fingers once again. We're staying in formation!"
Meanwhile, Dandy was struggling to keep himself and his friends from being sucked out into space from the huge hole he had made.
"Don't worry," QT said. "I've hacked into the space station's computer and I'm lowering the blast windows." As soon as QT said that, the huge hole Dandy made in the window was covered by a metal door and fresh oxygen was pumped into the area.
"In hindsight, that wasn't one of my better ideas," Dandy admitted.
"Ya think!?" Meow shouted at him
"Fortunately, I think I came up with one that is even better! Follow me!"
Dandy ran off as QT and Meow exchanged worried looks. Meanwhile, Commodore Perry's ship continued its attack, showering the space station with plasma bolts.
"Keep firing! Don't give the station's security a chance to fire back!" Perry commanded. Suddenly, another chunk of metal struck his ship. "What was that?"
"It was another piece of debris, sir," a technician replied. "Our starboard engine had sustained heavy damage. No casualties reported."
"I don't understand it," Dr. Gel said. "We're not even using weapons powerful enough to shoot the satellite dishes off that station. Why are we being hit with debris?"
Commodore Perry looked closely at the space station and noted a thin line with a white dot attached to the end of it.
"Zoom in on that area right there."
"Yes, Commodore."
The technician hit a button and a computer screen brought up the area Commodore Perry pointed out. It then zoomed in closely to show that the white dot was a man in a space suit and the line was a rope tying him to the space station; it was Dandy!
"It's him!" Commodore Perry exclaimed. "Put us into position to capture him!" Perry grinned sinisterly. "I have you now, Space Dandy!"
Meanwhile, Dandy had no idea he had been noticed by the Commodore and was carrying out his idea; he was going to throw the entire space station at Commodore Perry and his ship! Dandy grabbed a hold of a ladder rung bolted to the side of the space station. Then, using all of his newly-acquired Sepian strength, he spun the space station around.
"Wha- what's going on?" Dr. Gel asked, amazed by what he was seeing.
"Impossible!" One of the technicians said in awe.
"Evasive maneuvers!" Commodore Perry commanded.
Before anyone could do anything, Reactor Three finally exploded, severely damaging the ship permanently and leaving a huge hole in the side. Dandy threw the space station at Commodore Perry's ship, now too damaged to move.
"Yeah! Eat that, you oversized monster space head!" Dandy shouted. "No one can beat Super Dandy!"
Dandy grinned victoriously, until he realized that he was still attached to the space station. The elastic rope acted like a slingshot and shot the alien hunter in between the head-shaped starship and the space station, and when the two vessels collided he was sandwiched between them.
Commodore Perry's ship was destroyed, however he, Dr. Gel, and Bea had escaped in the nick of time via an escape pod, all three of them emotionally beaten, but physically unscathed. The same could not be said for Dandy, QT, and Meow.
Dandy's new Sepian physiology made him tough enough to not splatter like an insect when he was crushed by the two large space vessels colliding together, but he did suffer many, many broken bones. Meow suffered the same injuries, most of them he got from being thrown against the wall from the intense G-forces Dandy had created while he was spinning the space station around. QT's outer casing was pulverized, but his internal processors remained intact.
Not long after the incident, Dandy and his crew made their way back to Dr. Blum's space lab. Dandy's left arm, legs and chest were wrapped in bandages and he couldn't walk without crutches. QT had been repaired for the most part, but his outer casing had been pieced together with duct tape and super glue.
Meow was stuck in a full body cast and was tied to QT. And while she didn't receive any physical injuries, Carrie was still sickly as a side effect from having her DNA extracted and she wheeled around a battery operated fan in an attempt to keep herself cool.
"Ah, welcome back!" Dr. Blum greeted them as the crew dragged themselves wearily into his lab. "Oh my, you all look terrible! And Dandy, you seem to have grown a tail…"
"Yeah, it turns out, when Dandy got stuck in that machine, it spliced the Komodesian DNA with Dandy's human DNA, making him a Sepian," QT explained. "Then he went and nearly got us all killed…"
"Well, I suppose I better fix this, yes of course," Dr. Blum muttered as he typed in a few calculations into his computer. "Oh my, that's not good."
"What isn't good?" Dandy moaned.
"There is a part missing from the right chamber, so it will no longer work unless it's replaced." Dandy and Meow's jaws dropped to the floor. "But I do have good news. The effects induced by both machines are unstable, so both you and Miss Carrie should be back to normal in a few days."
"But I don't want this anymore!" Dandy wailed. "I can't even open a beer without accidentally ripping the can in half!"
"That is unfortunate, yes… On the bright side, I could use some more Sepian DNA!" Dr. Blum pulled out a huge syringe. "Would you care to donate some before you're body returns to normal?" Dandy screamed and limped out of the room. "Wait, come back! It won't hurt much!" Dr. Blum chased after him as Carrie coughed up more purple goo again and blew her nose.
Meanwhile, in an isolated region of space, the escape pod carrying Commodore Perry, Dr. Gel, and Bea floated along, its fuel long-depleted. The three of them were scrunched inside the cramped vessel, Commodore Perry's massive shoulders pushing his two underlings against the sides of the ship.
"Once again Dandy has eluded my grasp…" Commodore Perry muttered.
"How does he do it?" Dr. Gel inquired. "No matter what we try, he always manages to escape!"
"You ignorant fool!" Commodore Perry smashed Dr. Gel's face into the wall further and released him. "Didn't you read my reports? Dandy isn't an ordinary human!"
"What? Not an ordinary human?" Dr. Gel could barely speak, since his face was smashed against the wall.
"That's right," the Commodore said. "Dandy isn't aware of it, but he is the last of an ancient race of humans with the ability to alter reality itself."
"What? That's absurd!" Dr. Gel exclaimed. "No being can alter reality! It's impossible!"
Commodore Perry elbowed Dr. Gel into the wall again.
"Really? Then please explain how Dandy literally threw an entire space colony at us?"
"If this is true, then wouldn't catching him be impossible?" Dr. Gel asked.
"I thought my most trusted underling, a fellow veteran of the Ethrite Wars and experienced veteran alien hunter, could accomplish such a thing! But all you want to do is beat your chest and make expensive phone calls from my private phone to some blonde waitress who doesn't even like you!"
"Hey, Miss Honey and I have a complicated relationship!" Dr. Gel argued.
"What about all that erotic fan art you keep drawing of Shusuka and Carrie?" Bea asked.
"Th-that's none of your business!" Dr. Gel folded his hands across his chest. "And besides, a fan paid me to draw that."
"I don't pay you to ogle over the story's secondary characters!" Commodore Perry shouted. "Back on topic, we need to figure out another way to capture Dandy before the rescue team picks us up."
"Why do you want to capture Dandy anyways, Commodore?" Bea asked.
"Because, if we could tap in to Dandy's power, we would be unstoppable. We could change the outcome of any battle we fought in the past so that we would always win!"
"We could also use that power at the casino to make a few woolongs…" Dr. Gel suggested, imagining himself swimming in gold coins. Commodore Perry snapped him out by hitting him over the head.
"A few woolongs will be nothing to us once we rule the whole universe! And why stop there? I theorize that we could use Dandy's power to invade other universes… other dimensions… we could own literally everything!"
Commodore Perry let out a sinister laugh as their tiny escape pod continued to hurtle through empty space, giving them all the time they need to plot their next move against their target…
