Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter or any of the character.
A/N: This is just an idea we had to help those of you that need help with excuses. You are free to use any of these but you may have to modify some of them.
Diary
Chapter 2: Excuses Galore Part 1
Harry couldn't believe he was actually agreeing to this but he felt he had no choice. He really wanted someone to go over the diary with, that wasn't the problem. The deal was that it was Snape, the bat of the dungeon, the greasy git, the bane of his existence that he was going over the diary with. Harry would have much rather gone through the diary with Remus, but as his luck would have it the last of the Marauders was out on a mission and Harry didn't know where he was.
With a ready sigh Harry turned to Snape who was now sitting at one of the student tables all thoughts of potions gone from his mind( yeah we know, this is a little strange) motioning for Harry to sit in the seat next to him. This was going to be one of the worst detention he had ever served. It defiantly rated right up there with cleaning the Slytherin bathrooms and missing Quidditch, like Harry would ever let that happen.
Harry resolutely sat down in the seat next to his most hated teacher, no wait his second most hated teacher the toad had taken that place and demoted Snape at the beginning of the year. She was the other reason that Remus could not be here. Man did he hate that witch.
"So, Potter," Snape sneered his smirk firmly in place. "Shall we look at this diary you have found."
"Sir, you really don't have to do this," Harry murmured still looking at the diary and refusing to make eye contact with his professor.
"Nonsense, Potter. This could be very enjoyable. Educational even." With one more resolved sigh Harry stared down at the diary just noticing the page he was on. This was defiantly going to be a long night.
Diary Entry
Ways to get out of being late to class brought to you by the most loveable Marauders Messrs. Moony, Padfoot, Prongs, and Wormtail
Harry couldn't help but cringe when he read Wormtails name, the rat had been one of his dad's best friends and he had betrayed him. How the rat had ever gotten into Gryffindor Harry didn't know, he hated traitors and Wormtail was one of the lowest of the low.
1. My pants accidentally ripped. So I had to go back and get another pair. When I found out all of them were ripped. So I had to run and find a needle and thread. So I sewed up a pair and it looked tacky so I had to do it all over again. When I finally realised I could use magic I fixed it in a blink of an eye and bolted to class after putting on pants.
"I remember the first timeI heard that one," Snape interuppted with a smirk. "Your mutt of a godfather actually had his pants on backwards. What is the next one."
2. I feel asleep walking in the hall and fell asleep on someone. When I woke up I was hanging upside down and being tickled.
3. I was busy with my girlfriend in the girls toilet.
4. I was busy with my girlfriend in the boys toilet.
5. Moaning Myrtal was hitting on me asking if I wanted to get it on with her.
"I have that problem too," Harry stated blushing at revealing this piece of information to Snape of all people.
"What were you doing in the girls bathroom?" Snape asked dreading the answer even as he asked the question. Hadn't the idiot boy learned to stay out of that particular bathroom after second year.
"Ah nothing sir. Shall we continue." With a sigh of relent from the Slytherin the two continued reading out loud.
6. I had an accident and had to run back and change.
7. I had too much to drink last night.
8. I was up late last night with my girlfriend.
9. Quidditch practice ran late last night.
10. I fell off my broom during practice and I had to sneak out of the hospital wing. So it really isn't my fault.
11. I had to take a younger student to the hospital wing after they fell and injured themselves. It was the worst thing I had ever seen.
12. I got lost on the third floor and couldn't find my way back in time.
13. We had to degrease a classmate. We needed the grease for a project we are trying to do.
14. One of or assignments blew up and we had to clean the whole classroom before we could leave.
15. We found an innebriated professor in the hallway and we had to insure that they got to their room safely. We didn't want them to get hurt.
16. I was working on your assignment and I lost track of time.
17. The headmaster was wondering around the hall a little dazzled and I had to take him to the hospital room.
18. I walked in on the headmaster and Professor McGonigal and had to wash my eyes out before I could come to class. Don't ask me what I saw it is to horrible to talk about.
19. I had to take an injured Mrs. Norris to Hagrid. One of the owls was peeking at her.
20. A younger student got lost and I felt sorry for them because of Peeves so I had to help them. After I helped them I had to help another student that was lost worse then another one.
21. A group of students were singing and I couldn't resist joining because it was my favourite song. And we had an argument about how the last line went.
22. I saw a group of Slytherins going somewhere they weren't suppose to so I followed them to make sure they weren't going to cause any trouble.
23. I ran into my girlfriend so I had a brief snogging session with her.
"Only two teachers believed that one," Snape interjected studying Harry intently. "And that was only because your father had your mum with." Harrry couldn't believe how well this was going. True Professor Snape interrupted him from time to time but only to offer some insight into the excuses, but never with any comments that would be harmful or disrespectful.
"I think we should take a break," Harry said standing up and stretching. "I need to use the bathroom. But before I go we should both put a charm on it so neither of us can read it until both of us are here."
"Deal," Severus agreed ready for a break himself. "Just don't go and get yourself caught out in the corridor."
"Me," Harry replied with an innocent look. "I never get caught."
"And no snogging your girlfriend a long the way," The Potions Master yelled after Harry as he exited the classroom.
Five minutes later Harry returned to the Potions classroom where a plate of sandwiches consisting of various deli meats and cheese some of them grilled and some of them not waited on the desk that they had shared along with a picture of pumpkin juice and a bottle of firewiskey and several bottle of butterbeer. "I thought you might get hungry and thirsty," Snape muttered as Harry took his seat again opening the diary once more.
"Thank you," Harry responded picking up a ham sandwich.
"Did you run into your girlfriend a long the way?" the Potions master asked with a smirk.
"No I didn't," Harry replied with a smile. "Did you?"
"That would have been a little difficult, Harry," Severus muttered ruffeling the boys hair. "As I never ventured into the corridor. I have a private bathroom just through my office."
"Well ladeda," Harry snaped. "No wonder they say you don't have a life besides torturing students, you never leave your office." Harry hised in parseltongue smirking "Sssssstupid idiot. No wonder you never have a date."
"By the way, Harry," Severus hissed back in parseltongue. "I can ssssspeak and undersssstand parsssseltongue thankssss to a potion I made."
"Lets just get back to the diary," HArry muttered opening the diary again.
24. I was busy smoking in the boys bathroom.
25. I was reading a book in the corridor and got stepped on by a studient that sgot sent out of the classroom.
26. I was trying to open my trunk and it fot stuck so I had to figt with ti until it got undone.
27. I was about to use the bathroom when I found out that moaning Myrtal was there. Everytime I switched stalls she followed me.
28. I found a galleon in the hallway. When I tryed to pick it up I couldn't.
29. Oh, yes. My excuse. You want an excuse , right. My excuse. Now what was it again? Just a minute I will remember. My excuse. Just a minute I'll get it. You don't have to take points a way. What was the question again. Ah, yes an excuse. The excuse is, uh umum hold on it was right there. I think I almost got it. Let me go drop my books off. No need for detention. Can you give me a few seaconds to come up with one. What was the questions again? Um, oh yes, um, an excuse right. You want an excuse. What's that on the desk? (When professors back is turned you run to your desk)
By the time Harrry had finished reading that excuse he noticed that Severus was rolling on the floor laughing. "That was used atleast four times before they got into trouble," Severus said holding his sides. "When the professors actually caught onto that one the punishment was sever."
30. I don't have one. And I deserve the deduction of points and the detention from you.
"They never got in trouble for that one," Severus remarked as Harry shut the diary and replaced the locking charms. "They were actually beig honest for once. I think the professors were so suprised that they didn't do anything."
"Can we continue this in the morning?" Harry muttered from behind his hand trying to hide a yawn.
"Sure, Harry."
Read and Review. More will be on the way. If you use any of these excuses or have any ideas for excuses please tell us. Don't worry we will be posting ones for homework. Please put story on alert so you don't have to keep checking back to see if we have updated.
Next Chapter "Excuses Galore Part 2"
Until next time.
