Return To Innocence

Chapter 8-The Valentines Day Nightmare

Remus was brought around again by the Muggle remedy of Smelling Salts. Outside, a thunderstorm had come around. Rain pelted against the glass and streaked down it. Lightning flashed illuminating the inside of the hospital wing and thunder rumbled in the distance.

"Bloody hell," Sirius said looking at Remus with respect. "When you do something, Mooney you really do it pal!"

Lily gave Sirius a scowl, but she continued to stroke my hair.

Remus shakily got back on his feet, leaning against James.

"A-Are you sure?" he asked Madam Pomfrey.

"Positive," she said. "I checked her over myself."

"That's wonderful news!" Lily gushed.

A bout of nausea rolled over me and I vomited into the bucket.

"That's just nasty," Sirius cringed taking his eyes off Maddie and pretended to be interested in an empty cot.

"Can I please talk to her in private?" Remus asked.

"Sure pal," James said as he gestured to Lily and Sirius to follow him out of the hospital wing.

Once they left, Remus sat beside me.

"Maddie that is really wonderful news!" he said.

"You're happy?" I asked, my voice sounding rough and coarse from the vomiting. "Why? This time you can have two people who love you and you can leave alone in the world."

Remus sighed.

"Please…can we stop fighting? I hate this,"

"And I hate what you're doing!" I snapped rounding on him. "I have a bad feeling alright? And it isn't going away."

"What's your bad feeling?" Remus asked patiently staring into my eyes.

"That you're going to die," I finished bluntly. "That I'm not going to see you again."

Remus just slipped his arms around me and drew me close. His arms were strong, yet gentle. I'd forgotten that he had calming effect on me.

"It's nothing," he whispered to me. "Please. I promise you I'm not going anywhere…okay?"

I just sobbed.

"I love you, Maddie," Remus whispered.

"I love you too," I whispered back. "More than life."

Remus just held me for a while.

"So," he said releasing me. "Are you happy about the baby?"

"Yeah," I smiled at him. "You?"

"Absolutely," he said.

A short while later, we left the hospital wing.

Lily, James and Sirius immediately wanted to make sure that I was okay.

Remus blushed when Sirius began teasing him, but didn't stop until I smacked him up the back of the head.

Things were back to normal between us again, but again, I didn't know for how long with that feeling I had.

February rolled around. Valentines' Day was in 4 days. I was now about a month pregnant. You still couldn't tell. James teased me that when I hit the 8th month, they were going to have to widen the doorways for me to get through.

I scowled and playfully went to give him a wedgie.

Lord Voldemort hadn't called on Remus yet. I relaxed a little, but not completely. Remus seemed a bit different now. He was a bit more protective over me and a lot more withdrawn. I wasn't sure if it was because of the baby coming, or something had happened on that first call that he wasn't telling any of us.

I decided to ask him.

En Route to Herbology, I pulled him aside.

"Remus, what's going on? You seem different…what happened on that first call?" I whispered, keeping my voice low.

"What do you mean?" he asked innocently.

"You're acting strangely," I said cocking my head to one side. "You're really protective over me and yet withdrawn. What happened?"

Remus smiled, but I saw right through it.

"I'm just protecting you and the baby," he said affectionately putting a hand on my now flat stomach.

"Don't give me bullshit," I said folding my arms over my chest. "I can see through that fake smile. Something happened…didn't it? What did He make you do?"

Remus hesitated.

"I'm sorry. I can't tell you, Mads," he said solemnly.

"And why not? Now you've got some kind of secret club?" I demanded.

"No! It's not that," he shook his head.

By now, all the students had entered the greenhouses leaving Remus and I alone in the corridor.

"Then what is it?"

"I can't tell you!"

"Can't or won't?"

"Can't! Geeze Maddie! Why do you keep insisting something happened and when I say I can't tell you, I can't tell you!" Remus snapped.

I lifted my chin up.

"Because you're withdrawn, numbnuts!" I snapped back. "What did He have you do that was so terrible that you aren't able to share it with me? It's ME Remus! You know ME!"

"He had me kill Tylus!" Remus shouted at the same time and stared at me for a bit. "He threatened that if I told he'll kill you. Now you're in danger because you had to nag me about it."

My eyes briefly flashed.

"Nag? Well fine, excuse me for caring about you!" I snapped at him. "Next time don't worry…if you drop dead somewhere I won't NAG."

I went to brush past him, but he grabbed my elbow and spun me around to face him.

"I'm sorry," he apologized looking truly guilty. "I shouldn't've snapped at you…but now you're in danger! He told me that if I told anyone, he'd kill you."

He stepped closer and tilted my chin up so my head tilted back, facing him.

"I've got you to protect me right?" I asked.

"Absolutely," he smiled.

We headed outside, getting drenched from the rain just going from the corridor out onto the grounds and to the greenhouses.

My hair was drenched and water droplets dripped off the tips. My uniform and robe were soaked too. Remus was soaked as well. Water rolled down his face and neck. His hair was matted to his head like a helmet.

We entered the greenhouses. The rest of the students were all standing around small spider looking plants, talking amongst themselves and wearing dragon skin gloves. We spied Lily, James and Sirius and headed over to them.

"You guys look like you went for a dip in the lake," Lily said taking out her wand and immediately blasting me with hot air to dry me off.

"It's pouring out there," Remus said. "Um, we have to go back out in it. She's only going to get drenched again."

His lip twitched.

Lily looked embarrassed.

"It's alright," I said softly. "Don't worry about it."

"Today, we're learning about Traclines," Professor Ellis said brightly. "They're poisonous to the touch, hence the gloves. What I want from each of you is a parchments' worth on how the Traclines react to moving to a different pot. Then, I want a two parchment essay on the benefits in the medical field. Due next Friday."

We began working. Lily leaned close to Remus.

"No 'calls' lately?" she whispered meaningfully.

Remus shook his head.

I was silent. I didn't feel like joining in on their conversation. I knew that life without Remus was going to be extremely hard. I didn't know why I was thinking like this though. He was alive and right beside me now. But something was pulling me down for the future. I couldn't explain it at all.

I told Lily everything the night before. She even admitted that she was having a bad feeling about it as well. James and Sirius just pushed it off as paranoid, but I saw through them too. They were worried as well.

I gently placed one of the Traclines into a new pot and quickly put fresh soil down. Remus' arm was lightly brushing against mine. I could feel how soaked he was from the rain.

After class, we headed out back into the rain and sure enough, I got drenched again. Lily looked at me sheepishly but I just shook my head and told her not to worry about it.

She was only looking out for my welfare.

We entered the castle again and quickly dried off.

Valentines Day rolled around. James had bough Lily a beautiful pair of earrings that really brought out her emerald green eyes.

The Great Hall was decorated in red hearts and cherubs.

Lily and James headed off to spend some alone time. I felt bad for Sirius. He looked lonely, something I'd never thought I'd see in him. All over the castle, couples were holding hands.

"This is disgusting," Sirius muttered before he headed off to the library.

Remus took my hand and led me up to the fourth floor.

"We're not supposed to be up here," I said nervously.

"Relax," Remus said grinning broadly. "We won't get caught I promise."

He gently pushed me into an empty classroom and I froze.

He had set up a table with candles lit and a rose standing in a vase in the center of the table.

"This is so sweet," I said looking at him.

He gave a little bow and we sat down.

There were no food plates or anything, so I really began wondering what on earth he had in store for me. He seemed even more nervous than usual.

Remus reached into the pocket of his robe and pulled out a small velvet box. My heart skipped a beat as it pounded loudly in my chest.

"I-I wanted to ask you this for a long time, but…well, you know," he said blushing. "Will you marry me?"

"Yes!" I cried happily as he slipped it onto my finger.

We stood up and I threw my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly and then kissing him.

He hugged me back just as tightly and then released me.

"Let's go tell the others," he said grinning.

We left the fourth floor.

As soon as we told James, Lily and Sirius, they were totally thrilled. James and Sirius were giving Remus a high-five.

Lily squealed and hugged me as well.

The rest of the day went by smoothly and that night we all headed off to bed.

That night I dreamed and tossed and turned:

I saw Lord Voldemort standing with Remus and I saw myself standing there, but it was like Remus and Lord Voldemort couldn't see me or hear me…soon, about 10 Auror's Apparated beside Lord Voldemort and Remus.

I saw Lord Voldemort sneer at Remus before the Auror's pulled their wands out and aimed it at Lord Voldemort. Just as the Auror's cast a spell toward Voldemort, Voldemort pulled out his wand and aimed it at Remus. I saw a jet of green light shoot directly toward Remus, hitting him in the chest. Remus froze for a second, dropped to his knees and then fell forward. I screamed.

"Maddie!" I heard a female voice cry alarmed and I felt someone shaking me urgently.

I sat bolt upright in bed, still screaming my head off. My body was sweaty and my hair stuck to my shoulders and cheeks in damp strands.

I was clutching the edge of the sheet and quilt.

I finally stopped screaming and felt that my throat was raw from the screaming.

"Maddie! What on earth happened?" the female voice asked again.

I turned and saw that it was Lily. She had a concerned look on her face. At this point, everyone was wide awake and the lights were on.

I blinked for a moment before my stomach lurched and I leaned over the side of the bed and vomited.

REMUS.

I was deep in sleep when I heard Maddie's scream coming from the girls dorm. I immediately threw off my covers and jumped to my feet. The boys' dorm was still dark, only the silver light of the crescent moon poured in through the window.

I tore out of the boys dorm and stepped into the common room.

I was dressed in a white tee shirt and navy sweat pants.

Sitting on the couch with Lily's arms around her, was Maddie. She had a bucket sitting between her legs on the floor and she was leaning over it, her blond hair dangling above the rim. Lily struggled to keep her hair pulled back away from her face. Professor McGonagall was standing there as well.

"What's going on?" I demanded urgently looking from Lily, to Maddie to Professor McGonagall.

"Mr. Lupin, please go back to sleep," Professor McGonagall said softly. "I'm taking care of things here."

"What happened?" I demanded again, ignoring Professor McGonagall and taking a seat beside Maddie on her right side.

"She woke up screaming her head off," Lily said looking upset. "Then she just leaned over the side of the bed and vomited."

"It's not morning sickness, is it?" I asked.

Lily shook her head. "No, it's 11 pm,"

"What happened, Maddie?" I asked turning my eyes onto her.

Maddie slowly raised her head and wiped the corner of her mouth with her wrist. She inhaled and pulled her hair back away from her face.

"I had this horrible nightmare that Voldemort killed you just before the Auror's got him," she explained in a watery voice from the vomiting.

"It was just a nightmare," Professor McGonagall said soothingly. "Nothing more."

Maddie however, looking unconvinced.

"She's right," Lily said softly stroking Maddie's hair.

Maddie still didn't believe her.

Lily gave Maddie's hair another stroke before turning to me.

"Maybe you can talk to her," Lily said softly and pleadingly. "She always listens to you."

Professor McGonagall left and Lily entered the girls' dorm again.

"What's going on?" I asked softly and gently.

Maddie raised her chocolate brown eyes to meet mine.

"I told you…I had the dream that Voldemort killed you just before the Auror's got him," she explained again.

"It was just a dream," I said soothingly. "You should know that dreams don't mean anything."

"Yeah well this time it feels like more than a dream," Maddie muttered.

"What do you mean?"

"It feels like a premonition," she replied staring into my eyes. "Like I had seen the future."

"Mads," I said sighing as I pulled her close. She rested her cheek against my shoulder as I stroked her hair also. "Just forget it alright?"

Maddie was silent.