Return To Innocence
Chapter 9-Changes
MADDIE
I was silent. I knew something bad was going to happen. I just KNEW it.
I pulled back from Remus' embrace and turned my face up to his.
"I can't explain it, Moony," I said quietly. "But I know something bad is going to happen!"
Remus tilted my face up to meet his.
"Listen," he said quietly. "Stop dwelling on it okay? Nothing's going to happen to me alright? I'll be careful…trust me."
He gently kissed me and I returned the kisses just as softly and gently.
After he kissed me, we hugged again. I held onto him tightly as though I never wanted to let him go again.
"Mads? I can't breathe hun," he said in a choked voice.
"Sorry," I apologized as I released him a little bit.
Remus just smiled and shook his head.
We headed off back to bed.
The next morning, we headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Lily, James and Sirius were already at the Gryffindor table eating pancakes.
"Hey guys," Sirius said looking up as we entered. "Everything alright?"
"How are you feeling, Maddie?" James asked looking at me.
"Much better," I lied.
What was I going to tell them? That I still had a horrible feeling that something was going to happen to Remus? They would just pass it off as paranoia or stress relating to school.
Remus glanced at me funny, but said nothing.
"Well," Lily said brightly. "We have a break today. Classes have been suspended."
"Why?" I asked helping myself to some sausages.
"Not sure," Lily frowned. "But Dumbledore told us about 5 minutes before you guys came into the Hall. I think something happened to one of the students."
My ears pricked up.
"You're kidding," I said shocked. "Did he give any details?"
Lily shook her head.
"No," she said. "But I don't think it's good news."
Remus and I exchanged looks.
Sure enough, about 10 minutes into breakfast, Professor Dumbledore stood up and the Hall got eerily quiet with respect. No one dared to talk while Dumbledore was about to make a speech.
"I have some rather grave news," he began solemnly. "One of your fellow classmates have been killed. I found his body near the Greenhouses early this morning around 2 am."
Gasps went around as well as murmurs.
"He had been killed with the Killing Curse," Dumbledore continued. "I ask that if anyone has any information please step forward."
"Who was it?" a Slytherin called up to him.
Dumbledore's blue eyes moved onto the boy.
"Alex Carter,"
Now we were really stunned.
I could see Lily and James were just as stunned if not morally shocked.
"Alex?" Lily whispered keeping her voice low. "Who would want to snuff him out?"
"I don't know," James said.
"Maybe someone who was annoyed with his flirting?" Remus suggested.
We felt uneasy.
Rumor's began going around, stating that someone from his past had done it, or one of his old girlfriends.
Naturally, the old girlfriends were targeted for questioning and whatnot by other students as well as the Professors.
They had nothing to do with it. It was a real mystery.
That night, while they we sat in the Common room, in front of the fire, Remus voiced something that sent chills down our spines.
"Okay," he said slowly as he leaned forward, his elbows resting on his thighs. The orange light from the fire reflected off his green eyes. He was sitting on the couch next to me. "I know this sounds a bit crazy, but suppose there is a spy here in the castle?"
We fell silent.
"What?" James asked turning to him. "A spy? How can that be?"
Remus turned to him. "Think about it…the Professors questioned EVERYONE here, including the Slytherins, Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs and our house. No one was out of bounds at 2 am. Professor Dumbledore put a charm on each person he questioned so they wouldn't lie. It was a lot faster than the Veritaserum serum. But the point is no one was out at that hour. So it has to be someone that we don't know about or that we haven't seen yet."
Lily went pale. "Do you really think that's the case?" she asked quietly looking scared.
Remus sighed. "I don't know for sure, but that definitely sounds like a plausible explanation right?"
James nodded gravely. "I suggest that we stick together and keep an eye on one another. Do not go off wandering alone by yourself. Stay with someone."
"Good idea," Remus said nodding. "I think we should tell Dumbledore our theory too."
"I'll do that," James offered. "Be right back."
James left the common room and the portrait swung closed behind him.
"That's really scary," Lily said hugging herself. "To think that there's someone sneaking around on the grounds that the teachers don't even know about that's extremely dangerous."
I nodded. "I know,"
About a half hour later, James still hadn't returned.
"Okay now I'm getting really worried," Lily said getting up from the chair and she began pacing the common room.
"I agree," Remus said as he too stood up. "He should've been back by now."
I stood up and suddenly, a sharp pain shot across my abdomen and skull. I cried out and grabbed Lily's arm. I was slightly bent over as I dug the heels of my palms into my forehead.
My ears momentarily felt clogged and my eyes burned slightly. My nose picked up the faintest smells.
I heard voices muffled by the clogged ears.
After a few minutes, the heaviness in my ears went away and I was able to hear everything really sharply, including Remus and Lily's heart beating and their blood rushing through their veins. I opened my eyes. I was seeing normally now, but I was able to detect the faintest movements in the common room.
I shook my head.
"Are you alright?" Remus demanded worriedly as his face was filled with concern.
"Yeah," I said. "Why's your heart beating so loudly?"
Remus' face drained of all color. He sat on the chair and was completely pale.
"Remus? What's the matter?" Lily demanded also looking at him worriedly.
We were watching him closely.
"Oh my God, Maddie…I'm so sorry," he apologized looking completely guilty.
"What are you sorry about?" I asked confused. "You didn't do anything to me."
Remus swallowed.
"On the contrary," he whispered quietly. "I did."
Lily and I exchanged confused looks and we turned our attention back to Remus.
"That night we slept together," he continued. "Something happened."
"Yeah," I said. "We created a life."
Remus shook his head. "Beside that," he said and swallowed again. "I'm afraid I gave you the 'curse'."
We looked at him shocked.
"What are you talking about?" Lily asked him.
"I gave Maddie the werewolf curse," he exhaled looking like he'd vomit at any given moment.
"How?" I asked. "Doesn't that only work if you bit me?"
Remus looked deadpan.
"Any body fluid," he replied. "Saliva, blood…well you get the picture."
Lily looked at me.
"So she's a werewolf now?" she asked slowly.
Remus nodded gravely.
He got up and stood in front of me and placed his hands on my arms.
"Maddie, believe me. I would've never intentionally given you the curse," he said guiltily. "I mean not the loving part…but the part where I completely forgot to tell you the risk."
"Besides getting pregnant?" I demanded.
Remus shook his head.
"That's not a risk, its' a blessing," he said. "But I'm really, really sorry Mads. I know this is a blow."
"Duh," I snapped.
Remus looked guilty even more.
"Wait. Let me guess…the baby's going to be one too…am I right?" I asked.
He nodded slowly.
"Wonderful," I said sarcastically. "A whole werewolf family. How quaint."
Remus' green eyes flashed briefly.
"I didn't hear you complaining earlier," he said coolly.
Lily shrank into a chair.
"Well that was before I knew I'd become a werewolf!" I said angrily. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I forgot!" he replied back.
"Forgot my ass," I snapped. "I know that memory of yours is as sharp as a knife."
"Fine!" he said shortly. "I was hoping that it wouldn't happen! Werewolves have been trying to breed like normal people, but their offspring always end up part werewolf. All they want is normal families."
I stood, completely stunned. I'd never known that's what was going on. I immediately felt awful and went to apologize, but Remus shook his head and left the common room.
I turned to Lily.
"Great," I muttered. "Now he hates me."
"Naw," Lily said softly. "I seriously doubt that. I think he's just upset that's all. I can understand why he did that though."
"Now I do myself," I muttered slapping my forehead with my hand. "Damn I'm such a moron."
"No," Lily said comfortingly. "You didn't know that's all."
So later on, we headed out for a walk on the grounds.
Remus avoided me all day. I really felt awful. I wanted to talk to him but he wouldn't come near me.
"He's acting like he hates me," I muttered that night at dinner as Remus took his meal to the other end of the table.
"I think he's just trying to sort out his feelings," Sirius said to me. "I don't think it has anything personal to do with you."
I sighed and let my forehead hit the table with a thud and began lightly banging my head on the table.
I felt Lily put an arm around me and give me a squeeze.
That night we headed off to bed. I climbed into bed and dozed off shortly.
The next morning, we headed back to the Hall…this time, Remus wasn't with us at all nor was he at the end of the table.
"Where is he?" I mused.
"Don't know," James said actually looking worried. "I woke up during the night and he wasn't there. Maybe he went for a stroll?"
Now, I was beginning to get worried and I mean REALLY worried.
"What if HE called him and we don't know about it?" I whispered to James, Lily and Sirius.
Their faces got pale.
As the day wore on, Remus still hadn't shown up. Now, I was really thinking that my explanation was plausible.
Sure enough, Professor Dumbledore called us into his office that afternoon.
"I have some rather distressing news," he said. "It appears that Remus was scene with a bunch of Death Eaters along Rollins Road, just a mile from Diagon Alley. It might not be nothing, he might not be taking part in whatever they're doing…but the fact is he was with them."
I felt an ache forming in my throat.
"What does this mean?"
"I'm not sure," Professor Dumbledore said looking at me with remorse and somberness. "But I'm hoping Remus knows what he's doing."
I glanced at Sirius and James. They were also pale and looked on the verge of vomiting. Lily was sobbing quietly. I don't think either of them really know or believe that Remus would actually be walking with the Death Eaters. It was really a blow.
"My only fear is that Lord Voldemort finds out that Remus is really spying on him," Dumbledore said gravely. "It's not going to look too good."
I exhaled loudly.
"I know," I whispered. "I'm scared for him."
"I understand that you're pregnant?" Dumbledore asked gently and I nodded.
"Make sure you don't stress yourself out too much…it won't be good for the baby."
I managed to give him a weak smile before we got up and left the office.
Alex Carter peered out from under the Invisibility cloak in Professor Dumbledore's office.
He sneered.
So…the wolf is a spy? How interesting! Voldemort would LOOVE to know what's going on?
He Apparated out of the office. No one knew he had been there. You gotta love that Invisibility Cloak. It does wonders when you want to find things out without anyone knowing it.
Once he reached the location just outside Diagon Alley where the rest of the Death Eaters were gathered, he saw Lupin standing nervously by a Death Eater called Malfoy. He was dressed in the robes and his robe was pulled over his head, but Alex knew it was him. Voldemort was nearby as well.
"What did you find out, Carter?" Voldemort asked.
"I have some rather interesting news…" Alex smirked.
