Disclaimer: I don't own Gimore Girls or the song Let Me In by Save Ferris.
New Neighbours
Chapter Twenty: Let Me In
She should have known not to tell him. But she really didn't think he would react like that. He'd never reacted like that to anything. But she'd also never seen him like this, stretched so thin, ready to crack under all the pressure. It was all piling up and telling him she'd spent the night with Tristin probably wasn't the right thing to do.
And so here she was. Spending her morning in the waiting room at Hartford General Hospital. Waiting for her father to get his hand stitched up.
Her father was fine…
The mirror was in pieces on their living room floor.
Everything was still so new. She didn't think the reality of it all had sunk in yet. They weren't broke; they had always been prepared for something like this to happen. She wasn't even sure if the business was gone…her parents weren't exactly in the mood to share details with her.
Her father had said she'd betrayed him, betrayed them all. It got her angry, which wasn't good. The last thing her dad needed was her screaming at him. But the last thing she needed was someone else throwing in her face that it was Tristin's family who was responsible.
It made her think about him more. And that made her eyes water, her heart ache, and her throat close over. He'd come to mean so much to her and now that he was gone…The thought that he could have done that to her made her want to hate him. It made her want to burn everything he ever gave her, to forget about him completely.
But she knew she couldn't.
She was in love with him. She was in love for the first time. She'd finally found her prince.
She wished she was a little kid again; skinned knees are a lot easier to fix than broken hearts.
She was alone in the waiting room. Her mom was with her dad, hovering by his side. Lilly still hadn't come back yet, the thought made the ghost of a smile cross her features. Lilly must have gotten 'distracted' by Blake.
Her brother was at the house. He wouldn't come to the hospital with them. Plus, someone had to stay behind with all the lawyers that were still there.
She could remember his eyes, so dark, so deep…a silent apology staring her straight in the face. She wasn't angry with him though. She couldn't be angry with him, not at a time like this. She needed her brother, needed the strength he represented.
They all needed each other.
That thought alone had her standing and walking past the nurses' desk. She knew her parents were angry; they had every right to be. But she wanted to be with them, wanted to know what was going to happen. Would they be okay? Could they even answer her questions?
She hoped they could, she hoped they had a plan. A plan would stop her from hyperventilating. A plan would stop her from going over pointless details in her mind. What if scenario's and open ended questions.
His room was close, just around the next corner. She wrapped her arms around her stomach and stepped up to the door. Her dad was sitting on a black bench, her mom beside him and a nurse busying herself in the corner.
She knocked and three pairs of eyes turned to her.
She opened the door and smiled as the nurse walked through it, closing them into the room together. Silence prevailed. No one send anything and Rory had never felt more out of place.
She looked down at her dads' bandaged hand, flinching at the tiny red spots that were seeping into its white texture.
"I'm sorry."
She looked directly into his eyes when she said it. No anger, no insincerity, just the truth. She was sorry, for everything that had happened to her dad and her family. It wasn't her fault, she knew that much, but she had added to the drama.
Her dad locked his gaze onto her, nothing in his eyes. They were blank but then the corner of his lips twitched up. She felt herself smile along with him and walked over to him, letting his extended arm come around her.
"It's not your fault, kiddo," he told her, kissed her on her forehead and let his grip tighten around her.
"Can you go home soon?" she asked looking from him to her mom, who reached out and ran a hand through her hair.
Nothing was forgotten. She couldn't be sure if they even forgave her for being with Tristin. But they weren't yelling or screaming or digging into her with scathing comments like she'd imagined.
The disappointment was still there, the hurt in her mom's eyes over not being told about her relationship with Tristin becoming so serious. One thing she regretted. The actual being serious with him…
She couldn't regret that. She'd tried, harder than anything but she knew it was pointless.
That night was still perfect in her mind. It sent shivers down her spine and made a slow fire burn through her body, all at the same time.
It was the best night of her life, ending in the most perfect and romantic way, but then bleeding into a terrible morning.
Rory blinked back the tears that stung her eyes. She pressed her fingers against the bridge of her nose, meeting her moms' concerned expression.
"You tired hun?" Lorelai asked and Rory nodded, smiling half-heartedly.
She wouldn't actually sleep tonight. At least not until her body became too restless to be awake anymore. There was too much to think about, too many problems and too many emotions.
Too many memories…
"You're all set to go, Mr. Hayden," the same nurse as before suddenly interrupted and Rory sighed with relief.
They all thanked the nurse and Rory walked behind her parents, through the halls. She just wanted to be out of the public eye, to be alone in her room. Where she could think, mull, cry, wallow…she just wanted to be alone.
- - -
I've
been watching you and all you do
For
quite some time
Knowing
all the ins and outs of you
I
should've known what was on your mind
- - -
She wasn't alone for long.
She was divided. Half of her wanted to kick him out, to yell and scream. She wanted to let him know that he couldn't do something like that to her. That he couldn't play with her like that.
But the other half was crying. The other half wanted to bury herself in his arms, let their strength wrap around her. She wanted to just be with him, to forget about the world.
She should've known he would come for her.
He was her prince after all.
- - -
But
all the world is spinning round and round
Inside
my head tonight
I
will fall into the darkness
And
I fear I will never see the light
- - -
"What are you doing here?" she asked him, resorting to standing a safe five feet away from him, arms protecting herself.
He stepped towards her and she backed away. He ran a hand through his hair, wild and untamed. His eyes were bloodshot, mirroring the same hurt, pain, and confusion she felt.
But he also looked guilty.
"You have to let me explain," he pleaded, his voice scratchy and rough, digging into her and she could feel her heart aching even more.
She shook her head. "No," she told him, trying to sound final, serious.
It wasn't working. The more she looked at him the angrier she got, but the more he talked and begged with her, the more pain she felt.
Her world was spinning in circles around her, leaving her alone and confused.
Dizzy.
- - -
So
let me in
All
that I wanted from you
Was
something you'd never do
So
let me in
Oh
please tonight
Don't
let this end
Tonight
I'll
Fall
- - -
"Rory." Her name passing through his lips was harder than she could have imagined. "Please, just give me five minutes," he begged and advanced towards her again.
Rory shook her head, continuing to take steps back until she felt something solid stopping her. She'd backed herself up against her door and she heart started to smash in her chest when Tristin quickly moved in front of her.
"Rory, I need you to listen to me," he said and blocked her from moving away.
She closed her eyes, a choked laugh escaping her lips and then she fixed her blue eyes on his.
"Five minutes," she told him, her voice cold, unforgiving.
If only she really felt that way. She knew she was wavering; already she was almost dying trying to restrain herself from letting him pull her into his arms.
"I never meant to hurt you, Rory," he started, the fierce emotion in his eyes making it impossible for her to doubt him. "It was my dad; he wanted me to go out with you. He said he needed someone to put in a good word for him with your dad."
She frowned and then glared. "I'm not really interested in hearing about the inner workings of your dad's mind, okay," she told him, a black look thrown his way before she averted her eyes.
"Story of my life," he mumbled before running another hand through his hair. "I already liked you," he admitted and her gaze snapped back to him. "It was after the first days of school when he told me about…what he wanted to do. I'd already met you and…I thought this could give me the chance to get to know this girl better. You were so different, so unique…" he was rambling but she couldn't say she minded.
"I never wanted you to find out. I know that sounds horrible but it's the truth. I wasn't using you, I was using my father. God, you know how much I hate him Rory!"
"I know."
- - -
Through
no light the darkness seems to be
So
very strong
How
does one alone against the world
Find
the strength to carry on?
What
happened to the way we used to love
It
seemed as though life had just begun
But
now that love has come and gone to fade away
Like
the setting sun
Cuz'
you won't let me in.
- - -
"Do you believe me?" he asked, blue eyes pleading with her.
Rory was at a loss.
Her heart told her to believe him, told her to throw herself into his arms. It hurt so much being mad at him, being without him.
Her head was confused. His words seemed sincere. His eyes were wild and she knew that he did love her, just like she loved him. But she'd figured out that morning that he had the power to break her. He had the power to reduce her to nothing but an unrecognizable person, a shell of who she was.
Could she put herself in that risk again?
Was it worth it?
- - -
All
that I wanted from you
Was
something you'd never do
So
let me in
Oh
please tonight
Don't
let this end
Tonight
Cuz'
I'm starting to fall
So
let me in
- - -
The memory of his eyes, dark with love and passion…The way she could still feel his hands holding her against him as he kissed her like no one has kissed her before.
She'd been happy with him, happier than she could ever remember. Everything fit with him, like they were meant to be.
She was trying to protect herself from him, from the hurt he could make her feel…but what of the love he made her feel, the protection, the millions of other overwhelming emotions.
How could Tristin be her prince if she was to busy protecting herself?
And so she smiled, and she took a step towards him, unwrapping her arms from around herself. She was taking a risk, putting her heart on the line again but the way his cobalt blue eyes lit up made it worth it.
She smiled shyly again, looking up at him from under her thick lashes. "I believe you, Tristin," she whispered.
Rory squealed as his arms were suddenly around her and she was pressed against his chest. She let her hands grab a hold of his shirt, holding onto him for dear life. With her face buried into his neck and the scent of him invading her senses, Rory let a sigh escape her lips.
"I love you, Mary," he whispered into her ear and Rory pulled away from him. She looked straight into his eyes and she could see the wealth of emotion glittering in their depths. She leaned against him, bringing herself up on her tip toes and pressed her lips against his.
"I love you," she sighed, wrapping her arms around his neck as his went around her waist more tightly.
And everything felt perfect again, as she let herself be swept away in his passionate embrace, hiding from the rest of the world, all wrapped up in him.
