Chapter Eight
Jack shifted restlessly in his chair. He was trying to watch the late news, but couldn't concentrate. He moved again, was still momentarily, then finally got up, turned off the television, and went up the stairs to bed. Ennis had been gone since yesterday morning and still hadn't called. Jack wasn't exactly worried, but he'd feel better if he called. He changed into pajama bottoms and a t-shirt and was just pulling back the blankets when he heard a strange noise. He paused, the corner of the bedding still in his hand, and he heard it again. It was coming from Bobby's room. He walked to the door and knocked softly. Bobby didn't say anything, but the noise came again. Jack suspected he knew what it was and opened the door. His suspicions were correct. Bobby was curled into a little ball, his hands to his face, and he was crying.
"Oh, honey," Jack said, taking him in his arms. Bobby put his arms around his neck and hung on. Jack ran his hand up and down his back and made soothing noises. "It's okay . . . it's okay . . ." Bobby wiped his nose on his nose on his sleeve and put his head against Jack's chest. "You miss your momma?" A small nod. "I know, son. It's okay t'miss her. I'm sure she's lookin' down on you from Heaven and lookin' after you. Like a guardian angel." They were silent while Jack rocked him slowly back and forth, before tucking him back into bed. He went to leave and Bobby grabbed his hand.
"Daddy? Would you stay with me fer a little while?"
"O' course," Jack laid next to him on the bed and put his arms around his son. He awoke hours later, opening his eyes to find Bobby sleeping peacefully, on his stomach, his face turned toward Jack, cheeks flushed and his eyes still a little red around them. In that moment, Jack realized how much he loved this little person.
He hadn't been happy when Lureen had gotten pregnant, but he'd done his duty and married her anyway. He'd done his duty as a father ever since then, and of course he loved Bobby, right from the start. But in this moment, he realized that his life was not all about him anymore. He realized that there was more to being a father than "duty". He realized, with a sense of awe, that he loved his son. He had a moment of panic at the thought, that he was responsible, really responsible, for this little person next to him, but that passed quickly, engulfed by the love that surged through his heart. He lay next to Bobby for a long time, taking stock of his life, the past, the present, and the future, and before he got up and went downstairs for some coffee and a cigarette, he realized that he was right where he needed to be. He'd been given two gifts, a real life with Ennis, the love of his life, and a real life with his son, and he would not waste them.
The phone rang at about 9:00 that morning. Jack had been hanging out in the house, pacing rather restlessly, which Kelly had noted, so he answered it.
"Hello?" A sigh of relief, "Hey, cowboy . . . yeah, no, it's okay . . .all right . . . I can't wait t'see ya . . . okay, bye."
"That was Ennis," Kelly just smiled, stirring the lemonade she was making. "I guess you knew that. He's heading back, should be here sometime tomorrow." He looked around. "Well, I guess I'll head out to the stables. Call if ya need anything."
"I will, Jack," she said, putting the lemonade in the refrigerator to chill, then went out to the garden. Her mom, Alice, was seated in a lawn chair. Bobby was next to the garden, kneeling over the cucumber hills, pulling weeds. "How're you doing, Bobby? You remember which ones are cukes and which are weeds?"
"Yep."
Another boy, slightly older, with sandy-colored hair, was next to the row of tomatoes. "How're you doing, Scott?"
"Good." Scott was her nephew, her brother Pat's son. He and Alice had come with her to spend the day. Alice was planning to do some baking for when Ennis's daughters were visiting. "Hey, Grandma, are you gonna put nuts in the cookies. You know I don't like nuts," he said, craning his head to look at Alice.
"I know, dear. I won't put nuts in all of them."
"I like nuts in my chocolate chip cookies, Grandma," Bobby said.
Scott snorted and laughed, "She's not your grandma, dummy!"
"Scott! You know better than to call names," Kelly said, as Bobby put his head down, his face red. "You apologize right now."
"Sorry," Scott said, looking ashamed.
"Bobby, come here," Alice said. She was a tiny woman, not even five feet tall, with wavy salt and pepper hair that she kept short and curled around her ears. She had merry hazel eyes and looked and acted younger than she was. Bobby stood up, head still down, brushed some of the dirt off his hands, and walked slowly to her chair. She leaned forward, put one arm around him and put the other hand under his chin, lifted his face to meet her eyes, "Kelly told me your own grandparents all live far away. If you want to, you can call me 'grandma' or 'grandma Alice'." She smiled kindly at him, "I can be a substitute grandma." She saw a smile forming on his lips, "Would you like that?" A small nod. "Well, okay then, 'grandma' it is. Of course, being a grandma means I get hugs whenever I want and I think I'd like one right now, from you, if that's okay with you?" Bobby smiled up at her and threw his arms around her neck. "My goodness! What a strong boy you are!" she exclaimed, hugging him back.
Bobby went back to weeding the cucumbers. After a while, Alice stood up, "I'm going inside and do some baking. First on my list is chocolate chip cookies with nuts . . . and without."
The boys disappeared when Danny McIntyre appeared on his bike. They started for the stables and Kelly told them to let her or Jack know if they were going anywhere else. She continued with the weeding until it was time to make lunch. She stood up, rubbing her lower back. She saw Jack and Tyler walking towards the house, so she took her gloves off and tried to smooth her hair back, and hoped she didn't have any dirt on her face. "Hi, guys."
"Hey, beautiful," Jack sparkled at her, while Tyler just smiled.
A little color rose to her cheeks. "Are you coming in for lunch? I haven't made it yet. I didn't realize it was getting so late. " Her blush deepened.
"Don't worry 'bout it. We're just comin' t'get some o' that lemonade you were makin' earlier. And we heard a rumor that there were chocolate chip cookies bein' baked," Jack said, following her in the house. Once inside, he turned to Tyler, "I guess that rumor was right. It smells like heaven in here," he breathed deeply.
Alice turned from the counter where she was sliding cookies off a pan onto waxed paper. Jack leaned down to kiss her cheek, "Alice, they say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I think I love you," he put a cookie in his mouth and took a bite, chewed, swallowed, "Nope, I know I love you. These are the best cookies I've ever tasted."
Alice blushed and grinned, "You sweet talker. Go on, get out of here, you're in my way," she flapped her hands at them. Jack and Tyler took their lemonade and a couple of cookies to the deck and sat down.
Jack was surprised when Tyler broke the silence. "Can I ask you something, Jack?"
"Sure."
Tyler was silent for a moment, then asked finally, "How did you and Ennis meet? How long have you known each other?"
"Well, we met back in 1963. We were hired to herd sheep in the mountains fer one summer. We didn't see each other fer four years after that. Then, in '67, we got t'gether again and stayed in touch."
Tyler was silent again, before asking finally, very softly, "How did it happen? I mean, how did you know? About each other?"
Jack looked at him sharply, but Tyler was looking down at the glass of lemonade in his hands. "Well . . . we just . . . we just . . . felt it, I guess . . . 'bout each other. Happened that first summer. I fell in love with him and I reckon he fell fer me, too, but neither one o' us knew it, I don't think. Fer my part, I couldn't get 'im outta my mind. Found 'im four years later, after we'd both got married, had kids, was like no time passed. We met up ev'ry few months, fer a few days. But when Ennis got divorced, I thought there might be a chance an' I took it. Drove up t'Wyoming, full o' hope. Almost didn't happen. Ennis . . . he's always been more cautious than me–scared. Somethin' happened in his childhood, put the fear in 'im. But somethin' changed his mind and here we are."
Tyler nodded thoughtfully. "You love him." It wasn't a question.
"With all my heart."
Ennis drove in the dark. He hadn't planned on driving through the night, but he wasn't tired and figured if he wasn't tired he might as well be driving. The girls slept on the seat next to him, Francine leaning on Junior, who was leaning on a pillow propped on the door. He thought about the conversation they'd had that morning, before leaving Riverton. He'd told them all about the farm and the horses, before telling them that he lived there with Jack. Told them that Bobby was living there now, too. Francine had looked confused; Junior looked anxious.
"Wha' does that mean, Daddy? Why is Jack livin' with you?" Junior asked, almost afraid of the answer. So, he'd told them how he and Jack had met, up on Brokeback, how he'd been sick afterwards, havin' t'say good-bye t' Jack. How Jack'd found him four years later. Told them, quietly, that he was in love with Jack. He could barely say it to Jack, but to his daughters, he had to be honest. He wanted them to understand, but knew that they might not ever understand something like this. Not when almost everyone felt that it was so wrong, that it was a sin. He felt guilt at the look of fear in Junior's eyes. Francine didn't quite seem to understand. She was too young to completely comprehend what he was talking about, he thought.
In the end, however, it was Francine who asked him, "Are ya happy, Daddy?" to which he'd nodded, tears gathering in his eyes. She put her arms around his neck and said, "Then I'm happy fer you," and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Junior had hugged him, too, but silently.
They arrived at the farm in the early morning. Ennis carried Francine in and settled her into the same bed they'd put Bobby his first night. He went back out an got Junior, carried her inside and put her next to her sister. Neither one had woken up.
He stripped his clothes off in the dark and slid in bed next to Jack. Jack opened his eyes partway, "Mmm . . . I must be dreamin'."
"You ain't dreamin', darlin'." Ennis kissed him and curled up to his side. Jack put his arms around him and drew him close.
"I didn' expect ya'll till tomorrow afternoon."
"I didn' feel like stoppin'. Wanted t'get here soon's I could."
"Well, I ain't complainin'." He nuzzled his face into Ennis's hair, kissed there. "I surely missed you, baby."
"I missed you, too, darlin'." Ennis yawned, sleepy now, felt safe. He fell asleep within minutes. Jack dozed in and out and held Ennis close the rest of the night.
In spite of his lack of sleep, Ennis was awake early. He and Jack showered and dressed before any of the kids were up. They sat at the table, each with a cup of coffee and cigarette in front of them. Jack stubbed his out and leaned back in his chair. Ennis looked at him and silently reached out and took his hand. Jack smiled at him and laced their fingers tighter. It always amazed him how perfect their hands felt together. Ennis's hand slipped out of his a moment later, when they heard a 'click' behind them. Junior poked her head out of the bedroom door.
"Daddy?" Ennis rose, stopped to pick up the suitcases he'd retrieved from the truck earlier, and went to her.
"Mornin', Junior. Is yer sister awake."
"No, not yet." She glanced into the kitchen, but Jack had moved out onto the deck to give them some privacy.
"D'you wanna take a shower, get cleaned up?"
"Sure. Hang on." She rummaged through her suitcase, pulling out clean clothes, picked them up and followed him to the bathroom.
"Later today you girls can pick out yer own room fer when you come an' stay with us."
"Okay, Daddy." Junior shut the door and a few minutes later Ennis heard the shower running. He joined Jack on the deck. A few minutes later, Francine opened the door, went right up to him and sat on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"Hey, little girl. Good morning." She looked up at him and then over at Jack, curiosity in her eyes. "Francine, this is Jack Twist. Jack, this is Francine."
Jack smiled at her and put out his hand. She reached out and put her hand in his and he gave it a little shake. "It sure is nice t'meet ya, Francine."
"Nice t'meet you, too, Mr. Twist."
Jack laughed, "You c'n call me Jack, darlin'."
The door opened again and Bobby stepped out, looking a little uncertain. Jack introduced him to Francine. He said, "Nice t'meet ya." Then looked at his dad, "I"m hungry."
"Well, what's new?" Jack asked, smiling. "Come on, let's find ya somethin' t'eat. You hungry, Francine?" She nodded and followed Jack inside. They were putting out Bobby's favorite breakfast, cold cereal, toast, and orange juice, when Junior came out of the bathroom. She stopped at the kitchen counter. Ennis put his arm around her and led her to the table.
"Junior, this is Jack."
She looked at him with her big, brown eyes, so like her daddy's. "Hello, Junior. It's nice t'meet you." Jack said.
"You too," she replied softly.
"You want some cereal? Toast? Or, Alice made some muffins yesterday, they're real good. You want one o' them?" Jack asked.
"Sure."
He put one on a plate and set in front of her, along with the butter dish. She buttered the muffin and ate it silently. Bobby and Francine were talking and giggling, they seemed to have already become friends. When they were done, Bobby wanted her to go right to the stables to see the horses.
Jack laughed and reminded him he might wanna change out of his pajamas first. "You too, Franny, go get dressed and then I'll take you and Junior out t'see 'em." Ennis said.
Junior stayed at the table with Ennis and Jack. Silence stretched out between them for long, uncomfortable moments. They all looked up when the door opened and Kelly came in, a bag of groceries in each arm. Jack jumped up to help her. "Sorry I'm late, Jack, I stopped to pick up a few things and then I got a flat tire. Tyler's right behind me–he stopped to help me change it."
"Don't worry about it, sunshine."
"Hi, Ennis, I thought you weren't going to be here until this afternoon."
"I drove straight through last night. Didn't feel like stoppin'. Kelly, this is my daughter, Alma Jr. We jus' call her Junior, though."
"Hello, Junior."
"'Lo," Junior replied softly.
"I see you've all had breakfast already. Are you going to be around for lunch?"
"I have my class. Oh, I gotta get goin'," Jack said, rushing up the stairs for his books.
"Yeah, we're gonna hang around the farm today," Ennis told her.
Jack came back down the stairs, stopped at Ennis's chair and put his hand on his back for the merest moment, saying, "See ya'll this afternoon."
Jack crawled in bed next to Ennis, who lay on his back, looking up at the ceiling. "How d'ya think it went t'day?"
"Bobby and Franny seemed t'hit it off real good. Junior, I don' know. She was awful quiet."
"Yeah. Maybe in a few days she'll relax."
"I hope so," Ennis sighed.
"Ennis," Jack started, "do you know, I mean, do you think that Tyler is, you know, like us?"
Ennis didn't look at him, he was barely breathing. Finally, he asked, "Why d'ya say that?"
"He was askin' 'bout us, how we met, how we knew, 'bout each other. I got the impression it was 'cause he was the same way."
"I don' know, Jack."
Jack propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at Ennis. "Hey, is somethin' wrong?" He turned Ennis's face to meet his.
Ennis reached up to caress Jack's face. "No, nothin's wrong, darlin'."
Jack smiled and leaned down to kiss him. They kissed for a long time, sweet kisses that weren't leading to anything more. Jack loved kissing Ennis; loved the soft strength in his lips and mouth, loved the feeling of their tongues meeting and exploring each others' mouths, loved the sounds that came from Ennis. He also loved the look that came into Ennis's eyes–an intense look of desire that was meant for him and him alone. He drew back, just to see that look, knew it was reflected in his own eyes.
Ennis ran his hands through Jack's hair, caressed his cheek with his rough fingers. He drew Jack down, turning towards him, their legs tangling together beneath the sheet. Their lips met again, in those sweet kisses.
In some far corner of his brain, Jack realized that Ennis was holding back. He understood Ennis. That this first night with the girls here, under the same roof, they weren't going to go beyond kissing. He also realized that it was okay. They didn't need to go beyond. Just the fact that Ennis was here, making out with him, in their bed, in their house, was so much more than he'd ever imagined. Jack's heart was filled with love. He smiled against Ennis's lips. Ennis smiled back, asked, "What?"
Jack kissed him again, softly, still smiling. "You," kiss, "make me," kiss, "so happy."
Ennis smiled his crooked smile and drew Jack's head down to his chest and sighed deeply, content. "You make me happy too, darlin'."
Ennis was in the paddock with Jojo, the gelding he'd taken a liking to and usually rode. He was a good, calm, strong horse. Today, however, he had Bobby up on Jojo. He was teaching him how to ride. Jack was at his accounting class and the girls were in the house with Kelly. She'd brought them some paper dolls and they were busy cutting them out. He saw a car coming down the driveway. A young looking woman got out and looked around as he opened the gate and walked Jojo over to her.
"C'n I help ya?"
"Yes, I'm looking for Mr. Jack Twist. I was told he lives here."
"Yes, ma'am, he does, but he's not home right now."
"Oh, okay. Well, my name is Janie Peterson. I'm a social worker with the county. I need to speak to Mr. Twist. It's very important." She looked up at Bobby on the horse. "Is this Mr. Twist's son, Bobby?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Hi, Bobby," she said, smiling at him.
"Hi," he said shyly to her, then looked to Ennis. Ennis patted his leg, he could see the anxiety in Bobby's eyes.
"Well," she took a card out of her pocket. "This is my card. Could you please have Mr. Twist call me? Like I said, I need to speak to him."
Ennis took the card. "I'll have 'im call ya." He put it in his pocket and turned back to Bobby. "Come on, son, let's put Jojo away and go get a snack. Maybe there's some o' those cookies Alice made left."
Janie got in her car and backed out. Ennis watched it disappear down the driveway, a finger of fear making its way into his heart.
