Time In A Bottle by Jim Croce and Beautiful by Gordon Lightfoot are not mine, I just borrowed them.
Chapter Fourteen
Tyler came down the stairs with a duffle bag in his hand, dressed in a clean t-shirt and Levi's. Ennis noticed he'd also cleaned his boots. He tried not to notice anything else, like the way he smelled, fresh and clean from his recent shower, yet also like a summer field and earthy forest shadows, all mingled together.
"Goin' somewhere?"
"Oh, hey, Ennis," Tyler looked up, met his eyes and looked away, out the window. "Yeah, I'm goin' to visit a couple of friends over in Duluth. They went to school there and ended up staying. They've been after me to come down for a weekend, have some fun, you know?"
"Oh, sure."
"I've been putting it off; I think they're gonna try and set me up with a friend of theirs." His eyes danced to Ennis's again and away, just as swiftly.
"This friend . . . is it a girl . . . or a . . . a guy?" The words stumbled from Ennis's mouth, before his brain could stop them.
Tyler became intensely interested in something out the window. "A guy," he said softly.
Ennis nodded, all his suspicions and feelings confirmed. He felt something, low in his stomach, something that felt like excitement and fear, all rolled together and confused.
Tyler finally dragged his eyes back to Ennis's, his eyes cloudy, his face neutral. "I thought, that with Bobby gone for the weekend, maybe you and Jack might want some time alone together. Besides, I need to think, clear my head."
Ennis felt his jaw clench tight, couldn't stop it. The thought of Tyler with another man made him feel a little sick, which in turn made him feel an overwhelming sense of guilt. Who am I t'stop 'im from finding someone else, when I got Jack. I got my sweet life. Got ever'thing I ever wanted, he thought. Then another selfish, irrational thought wormed its way into his mind, I never knew there was more out there to want, though. Ennis made himself smile, through his shame and disgust at himself. "You have a good time, Tyler. Be careful, though. We want ya comin' back t'us in one piece."
Tyler smiled, almost shyly, "I will, Ennis. Thanks." He turned to go and as he did, Ennis reached out and put his hand on Tyler's arm. It was a light touch, but to both men it felt like fire. Ennis jerked his hand away and Tyler went quickly to the door, not looking back.
"So, how'd it go?"
"Droppin' Bobby off or talking t'Anna?"
"Both. Start with Bobby."
Jack sighed, "It was hard, Ennis. Harder than I thought it would be. I'm so afraid L.D. will take him and run back t'Texas with him."
"He wouldn't dare, would he?"
"I sure as hell hope not. Even if he doesn't, I'm also worried that he'll try t'pump Bobby fer information. I don't want him t'put Bobby in the middle like that."
Ennis stood up and took their plates to the sink, then turned back after he started some wash water for them. "What about Anna? What did she say?"
"She told me about the alcohol assessment. She wants you t'get one, too, just in case." Jack looked at Ennis questioningly, went on when he saw a nod, "She said it's no big deal, we just go an' talk t'someone and they say whether or not we got a problem with drinkin'."
"I prob'ly did, in the past, when I was so fuckin' miserable," Ennis said.
"Me too, but I don't think either one o' us do now. Which reminds me, we gotta get rid of all the alcohol in the house."
"Ain't much, just a few beers in the fridge."
Jack finished clearing the table while Ennis washed the dishes. When he was done, he put his arms around Ennis, from behind, and kissed the back of his neck. "Look at us, just like an old married couple."
Ennis pulled the plug and grabbed a towel to wipe his hands, then turned around to face Jack, leaning against the counter. Jack looked up, his lips meeting Ennis's, both smiling through the kiss.
"We got the house to ourselves tonight."
"Looks that way."
"Mighty considerate of Tyler t'go away fer the weekend." Jack said. He didn't miss the flicker of darkness that passed through Ennis's eyes. It was gone so fast, though, that he thought maybe he was mistaken.
"What should we do?"
"I got some ideas."
"Any o' those ideas include us bein' naked?"
"Sure do. Thought maybe we could go skinny-dippin' down at the lake."
Jack drew back, surprised, "Skinny-dippin'?"
"Yeah," Ennis kissed him, "I know ya like t'do that."
"Well, all right then, let's go." Jack grabbed his hand and backed up.
"Right now?"
"Hell yeah, right now. It was yer idea, cowboy."
They raced down to the lake and shed their clothes when they got there. Jack ran down the dock and dove in, coming up sputtering, "Shit! It's colder'n I thought!"
Ennis waded in from the shore, checking for rocks, taking his time to get used to the water. He finally reached Jack and put his arms around him. They sank down into the water together as their lips met. Ennis wrapped his legs around Jack's waist, letting Jack hold him. He lost himself in the moment. This felt familiar–cold water, fresh air, Jack holding him close. He could do without the mosquitoes, though, feeling a welt break out on his shoulder and hearing their annoying buzz all around. Jack pulled them further in the water, until just their heads were above it, still joined at the lips. Suddenly, he felt a jerk from beneath him as Jack pulled them both underwater. He came up and splashed Jack in the face, drowning the laughter that came bubbling from Jack. They splashed each other for a while, laughing and shouting, then came together again. This time Ennis supported Jack's legs around his waist. Jack met his mouth fiercely, warmed now from the exertion of their water fight. Ennis kissed back, just as fiercely, his hands caressing the strong thighs that were locked tight around his waist. His hands went further back, to Jack's ass, felt a hardness press into his stomach as his hands got nearer to the valley between those firm cheeks.
"Ennis . . ." Jack moaned. Ennis pulled one hand forward and gripped Jack's erection, started a soft, smooth pulling motion. Jack's kisses became wild and erratic, alternately exploring with his tongue, sucking on Ennis's tongue, or lips, or pulling back, his breath uneven and shallow, interlaced with moans and mewls of pleasure. Finally, he arched back, pushed into Ennis's hand and almost knocked Ennis over as his orgasm overwhelmed him. He came to rest in Ennis's arms, his legs quivering, but still around Ennis's waist.
"Good lord, cowboy. You tryin' ta kill me?"
Ennis chuckled. "Be a hell of a way t'go, wouldn't it?"
Jack smiled bemusedly, "Yeah, it would. Wouldn't mind goin' that way."
Ennis stood up, pulling Jack with him, "Come on, let's get back t'the house. Too many damn bugs out here."
They pulled on their t-shirts, boxers, and boots, deciding to carry their jeans. "We gotta get some sneakers or somethin'. Cowboy boots're too damn hot fer summer. Looks mighty goofy, too, t'be walkin' around in our shorts and boots."
"You look goofy all the time, Jack, so it shouldn't be nothin' new." Ennis smirked at him.
"Ha ha ha, you're fuckin' hilarious, Ennis."
"Thought I was fuckin' you, Jack Twist."
"You better be nice t'me, or you ain't gettin' no more fuckin'."
Ennis turned and caught him in his arms, said in a low voice, "Thought I was bein' nice t'ya, darlin'."
Jack smiled, said low, "Oh, you were cowboy, you were. That was real nice back there."
When they got in the house Jack turned the radio on. It was on the pop station Kelly favored, but a Jim Croce song that Jack particularly liked was playing.
If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I'd like to do, is to save every day 'til eternity passes away, just to spend them with you . . . if I could make days last forever, if words could make wishes come true, I'd save every day like a treasure and then, again, I would spend them with you . . .
Jack took Ennis's hand and pulled him close, "Dance with me . . ."
Ennis shook his head, "I ain't dancin' with you, Jack."
"Sure do enough other stuff with me. Please?" He tugged on Ennis's hand and smiled as Ennis took a step towards him.
. . . I've looked around enough to know that you're the one I wanna go through time with . . .
Ennis came into his arms easily then, unable to deny Jack anything anymore, it seemed. One arm went around each other, the other clasped together between their chests, their cheeks together, as they swayed gently.
. . . If I had a box just for wishes and dreams that had never come true, the box would be empty except for the memory of how they were answered by you . . .
Jack felt Ennis's breath on his neck, felt it all the way down to his toes. The song ended and another began. They didn't stop moving together.
At times I just don't know how you could be anything but beautiful, think that I was made for you and you were made for me . . . and I know that I won't ever change and we've been friends, rain or shine, for such a long, long time . . . laughing eyes and smiling face, it seems so lucky just to have the right, telling you, with all my might, you're beautiful tonight . . . and I know that you won't ever stray, 'cause you've been that way, from day to day, for such a long, long time . . . and when you hold me tight, how could life be anything but beautiful . . . think that I was made for you and you were made for me . . .
Jack pulled Ennis tighter.
. . . and I must say, it means so much to me, to be the one, who's telling you, I'm telling you, that you're beautiful . . .
Ennis drew back a little, to meet Jack's eyes. Those blue eyes, that he could lose himself in, hoping to never be found. His lips met Jack's in a soft, tentative kiss. "Come on," he whispered, taking Jack's hand and leading him up the stairs.
Ennis stirred, in the grips of a dream. He was kissing Jack, but when he drew back, those blue eyes had turned to a brown so dark they were almost black. He thought he must be mistaken, went back for another kiss, put his hands up to tangle in soft hair. Something didn't feel right. He pulled back again and saw his hands tangled in long, dark locks, looked to the face and saw Tyler staring back at him, looking confused. Ennis stumbled back and came awake for real. He turned his head to see Jack, sleeping peacefully next to him. He got his breathing under control before he turned his body to spoon around Jack, felt some peace come over him when he laid his lips against the cool skin of Jack's strong back, then turned and rested his cheek where his lips had been.
"Daddy, what's a 'faggot'?" Bobby asked.
Jack looked at him sharply as Ennis nearly choked on his meatloaf.
"Where'd you hear that word, son?" Jack asked carefully.
"Grandpa said it. He said you were a faggot and so was Ennis."
Jack's face paled under his summer tan and he swallowed hard before answering, "Ya know how sometimes ya tell me not t'cuss?" Bobby nodded, "Well, that's kinda like a cuss word."
Bobby's eyes widened, "It is? How come grandpa said it?"
"Your grandpa cusses all the time, Bobby."
"Well, I guess that's true. But I never heard that one before."
"I guess it's new. I don't want to hear you sayin' it, okay?"
"Okay, daddy. Sorry."
"It ain't your fault, son."
Bobby was silent for a while, working on his meatloaf and baked potato. Finally, he asked, "But daddy, what does it mean?"
Jack sighed and looked at Ennis, before turning back to Bobby. "It's a bad word that some people use about men who love other men," he paused, "like me and Ennis. They don't like it an' don't understand it, so they gotta call it somethin' bad t'make themselves feel better." He sighed. "You'll prob'ly hear that word a lot, Bobby. I told ya before I wish I could save ya from all the bad stuff in the world, but I can't."
Bobby looked from his father to Ennis. He was confused. He missed his momma terribly, but he loved his dad more than ever. He knew that his dad was happier now than he'd ever been. Jack was loving and easy with him in a way he never used to be. And Ennis was so patient with him, like teaching him to ride properly. He could feel the bond between his dad and Ennis, a bond that had been somehow missing between his mom and dad. If this was bad, what was good? Was anything good? He wanted to call his grandpa and tell him he was wrong and not to call his daddy bad names, but he knew he wouldn't be able to do that.
Bobby Twist grew up a little in those short moments. Jack could see it on his face, and it tore at him, to see that bit of innocence lost. Bobby got up and came around the table, put his arms around his dad, "I love you, Daddy. I'm sorry grandpa called you a bad name." He went around to Ennis and gave him a hug, too. "I love you, too, Ennis."
Ennis couldn't speak, the lump in his throat threatened to strangle him. Instead, he drew Bobby close and hugged him tight, dropping a kiss on the dark head.
"May I be excused?" Bobby asked, pulling away, "I gotta go check on the midgies." He and Danny had started calling the miniature horses 'the midgies'.
"Sure, son, go ahead. Don't stay out too long, though, it's almost bedtime an' you need a bath tonight."
"Okay."
When he left, Ennis and Jack stared at each other, neither daring to break the silence for many long moments. Finally, Jack said softly, "Well, I guess L.D. knows about us."
Bobby was bathed and tucked in bed. Ennis and Jack were sitting on the couch together, watching the news, when the door opened and Tyler came in. He took his boots off and walked into the living room, took a seat in the easy chair.
"How's yer dad?" Jack asked.
"Stubborn," Tyler sighed.
"How'd dinner go?"
"Went fine. Took him to Willow Bay. It was slow tonight, so Alice had time to visit with us. I think Dad liked that. Things went bad when I took him home. Steve was there, had a bunch of friends partying with him."
"Your dad's okay with that?"
"He didn't say anything, just went on in, so I left." Tyler sighed.
"Did ya have a good weekend?"
"Yeah, it was fun. Nothin' too exciting happened," he said, meeting Ennis's eyes.
"Hmph. Glad ya had fun," Ennis said, turning back to the television.
Jack found the exchange odd, but didn't know why.
"You guys have a good weekend?" Tyler asked, unable to help himself.
"Sure. We went skinny-dippin', danced naked, an' howled at the moon," Jack replied, a serious look on his face. Tyler looked at them, his eyes wide, until he noticed the smile trying to escape from Ennis's lips and the sparkle in Jack's eyes.
Jack grinned, "You think we'd tell ya if we really did any o' those things?"
Tyler smiled, shaking his head. He missed the look Ennis gave Jack. They focused on the news for a while, watching the weather forecast. When it was over, Jack asked, "Hey, Tyler, have you known Kelly very long?"
"Yeah, we grew up practically next door to each other. Why?"
"She's just seemed upset the past few day. I thought maybe you'd know why."
Tyler had a pretty good idea what was wrong and it involved him, so he definitely didn't want to discuss it with anyone. He shrugged noncommittally and shook his head, with a vague thought that maybe he ought to talk to Kelly sometime soon.
Jack stood up, stretched and yawned. "I'm goin' ta bed."
"Yeah, me too," Ennis said, standing up. "'Night, Tyler."
"Good night."
Tyler stepped under the spray of the shower, wincing as the cool water hit his back. He arched his head back and felt the water sluice through his hair and down his back. He massaged shampoo through his hair, his mind drifting to the weekend with his friends. They'd introduced him to Charles, a friend of theirs who, once they'd learned he also preferred men, were bent on introducing the two. Charles was a nice, good-looking guy, but Tyler hadn't felt any spark with him. He felt a bit guilty at that. It was damn hard for guys like them to find each other, even though this was supposed to be part of the hippy-dippy , love generation.
He squeezed some conditioner into his hand and massaged it into his hair. I should've tried harder, he thought. Why didn't I try harder, to find that spark? He knew why, though he didn't want to admit it to himself. He felt himself grow hard again, seeing the face he tried hard to banish from his thoughts. Saw the broad chest, strong back, perfectly shaped lips, muscled arms, ending in long, gentle fingers. He reached for the 'cold' knob and turned it further, but it didn't help, so he did the only thing that would–jerking off in a few quick strokes, one hand on the wall to hold himself up. When he was done, it didn't take long for the cold water to make him shiver, so he turned it off and stepped out. The mirror wasn't even fogged up. He looked at the face staring back at him. Who was this stranger staring back at him, with haunted eyes?
