Chapter Sixteen

"So, are we still set for me pickin' the girls up on August 7?" Ennis asked.

"Yeah." He sensed hesitation in her voice.

"Is something wrong, Alma?"

"Not exactly."

"Sounds like there is."

"It's . . . I'm gettin' married."

"You are? Huh. Anyone I know?"

"You remember Monroe? From the grocery store?"

"O' course. Sure. He's a nice guy."

"He's real good with the girls."

"Does he make you happy, Alma?"

"Yeah, Ennis, he does." She sounded sincere.

"That's good. I'm glad."

"The wedding is August 6. I was wondering . . ." she hesitated again before continuing, "How would you like to keep the girls a little longer this time? An extra week, maybe? I know this is short notice. I'm sorry. It's okay if it won't work," she finished in a rush.

"No, of course not! I'd love t'keep 'em an extra week."

"I just thought, well, me an' Monroe are gonna go t'Denver fer a few days an' it would be nice t'have a few days t'ourselves, ya know, just startin' out an' all."

"Sure 'nough. I understand. I'm real happy fer ya, Alma. I still feel real bad, 'bout, well, you know, 'bout everything. I want ya t'be happy."

"Thank you, Ennis. We'll see you on the seventh, then."

"Okay. Can I talk to the girls again?"

"Oh, they went outside t'play. I can go get 'em."

"No, that's okay, let 'em play. I already talked to 'em. Just tell 'em I can't wait t'see them."

"Sure. Bye."

Ennis hung up the phone and just stood there, a smile on his face. A flower of joy bloomed in his heart. Two whole weeks with the girls! He jumped when he felt arms come around his waist and soft lips touched his neck.

"Mmm . . . you smell good."

"Ain't been out t'do any real work yet. I wanted t'talk t'the girls this morning. Talked to Alma, too." He felt another kiss on his neck. "She asked me if I minded keepin' them an extra week. That okay with you?"

"Ennis, you don' even have t'ask about something like that. How come she's lettin' them stay longer?"

"She's gettin' married."

"She is?"

"Yep. Marryin' a nice enough guy."

Jack nuzzled into his neck again. "You sure do smell good."

"Already said that, darlin'." Ennis took a deep breath. "Cain't say the same about you, though."

He felt Jack smile against his neck, "Yeah, that's 'cause I been workin', asshole, unlike someone else I know. I guess I am a bit rank, ain't I?"

Ennis turned to face him, put his arms around his neck. "I love the way you smell, even when you are all hot'n sweaty." His lips met Jack's in a kiss that started soft, but grew deeper and deeper. Their tongues danced together and they were lost in each other, until they heard someone clear their throat nearby. They broke apart guiltily and looked to see Anna standing at the door.

"Hi guys, sorry to interrupt. Kelly sent me up."

Jack smiled at her, while Ennis studied the floor. "Hey, Anna. I didn't expect to see you out here today."

"Obviously," she smirked at him. "How are you, Ennis?"

He looked up finally, a small smile playing around the corners of his mouth. "I'm good. You?"

"Well, I may have to go take a cold shower after seeing that hot kiss," her grin grew as Ennis's cheeks burned, "but other than that, I'm fine."

Jack looked down, trying to hide the grin on his face.

"Enough of that. I have some stuff to go over with you. I hope you have a few minutes?"

"Yeah, sure. You care if I take a shower first?"

"No, go ahead."

"I'll be back in five minutes." Jack said and dashed out the door.

"How's he holding up?" Anna asked, sitting down in one of the chairs.

Ennis sighed and sat down by her. "He's tryin' not t'show it, but he's worried sick."

"I kinda figured that.. I told him I have the investigator looking into the Newsomes. You know, background checks, social services check, stuff like that.'

"I know and I know he's real grateful t'have you on his side, Anna." Ennis paused before asking, "Does Jack have a chance? A real chance?"

"There's always a chance, Ennis. I'm not giving up. Hell, we've hardly even gotten started." She smiled encouragingly. "When are your daughters coming back to visit?"

His whole face lit up with a smile. "Second week of August. Just talked t'their momma, in fact. She asked if I could keep 'em fer an extra week.

Her eyes widened. "I'm impressed, Ennis. To be honest, I'm kind of surprised she allows them to come and stay with you."

"You are?"

"I hate to say it, but yes. Look at what Jack is going through."

"It ain't the same. Jack is the only parent Bobby has left. Shouldn't halfta fight at all."

"I know, but the reality is some people think being gay is a disease or something and think gay people shouldn't be around children. They think it'll rub off or that we'll molest them." She saw Ennis cringe, almost imperceptively, each time she used the word 'gay'. "You're lucky your ex-wife doesn't feel that way."

"Well, might be she does feel that a little, but we've known each other since we were kids. She knows me." He narrowed his eyes. "Doesn't sound t'me like you think Jack's gonna have a chance in hell of winning."

"No, I wouldn't say that. Not everyone feels the way I described, thank goodness. I didn't even say that your wife would win a court battle if she tried to keep the girls from you. I just think you're lucky you don't even have to take that route. It gives me hope for the future. There's always hope, Ennis." She smiled at him, then said, "I'm curious. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he said hesitantly.

"Do you think of yourself as a gay man?"

He looked away and shook his head, "No." Then he looked down, studying his hands and said quietly, "Least ways I didn't. Just thought this thing with Jack was just fer him, ya know? Deep down, though, I know it's more than that. Always has been," he added quietly. "But I thought it was only me that felt that way–like a freak."

Anna leaned forward and put her hands on his. "Ennis, you don't have to be ashamed. You're not a freak. And you're definitely not alone."

"I'm beginnin' t'see that." He looked up into her eyes, "Don't make things any easier, though." He looked away again, out the window. "Almost makes things harder."

Anna squeezed his hands and released them. They were quiet until Jack came back, his hair combed, but still wet, bringing the fresh smell of Zest soap and a bright smile with him.


Tyler looked around, from his seat on the sagging couch, at the trash littering the floor. There were beer cans and bottles all over and it looked like it hadn't been swept since he'd left. He got a garbage bag out from under the sink, which was overflowing with dirty dishes. He cleaned up, then put on a pot of coffee while he started the dishes. He was just putting the last one away when an older man shuffled into the kitchen and took a seat at the table.

"Want some coffee?" Tyler asked. No answer, but he caught the brief nod. He poured a cup, set in front of his dad, and sat down across from him. "I made some stew. It'll be ready in a bit." No answer. "Where's Steve?"

"Took off. Said something about heading to the cities and maybe South Dakota."

"Is he gonna be gone for a while?" His dad shrugged. Tyler got up and stirred the stew, standing at the stove much longer than he needed to. When he sat down, he put his hand on the table, almost reaching for his dad. "Dad, it's so hard for me to see you like this. I want to help, but I don't know what to do."

Russell took another drink of coffee, not meeting his sons eyes.

"Dad, please."

"Tyler, what do you what me to say?" he asked in a rough voice. He pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his shirt pocket and lit one. "It's hard for me to see you, too. The life you have chosen."

"Dad, we've talked about this. I didn't choose to be this way. It's just the way I am."

"And these guys you work for, what's going on there?"

"Ennis and Jack are nice, decent guys."

"But they're like you," Russell met his son's eyes stonily.

"Yes, that's true."

The room filled with silence again.

Tyler got them each a bowl of stew and they ate in the silence that was threatening to drown him. When they finished, he asked, "Is it okay if I move back in?"

"Those guys kick you out?"

"No, they said I could stay as long as I need to. I feel like I'm taking advantage, though, and I don't like feeling like that."

His dad didn't say anything for a while. Tyler watched him, a lump in his throat. This man seated before him bore no resemblance to the father Tyler remembered from his childhood. He was small and frail looking. The hand that held the cigarette shook as he raised it to his mouth and when his mouth opened, it was clear that he was missing some teeth. His hair was shaggy and in need of brushing. The t-shirt he wore was old, dirty, and had several holes in it. Tyler thought back to a time when he was a child. His dad was tall and strong, with long, shiny hair that he kept in a neat braid, much like Tyler did now. He walked tall and proud, like a warrior. This broken man did not look like a warrior. Tyler dropped his eyes as the pain overwhelmed him.

"You can come back home," Russell said.


Jack looked in the mirror as he ran a comb through his wet hair. A spot in front was sticking up a weird angle and he couldn't get it to lay down. He finally gave up and went into the bedroom. Ennis was sitting on the edge of the bed putting his socks on. "You 'bout ready?"

Ennis stood up. "Yeah, You think this is a nice enough shirt?"

Jack put his arms around Ennis. "I love this shirt on ya." He reached up and smoothed the collar, then ran his hands down the front of the shirt.

"Yeah?"

Jack kissed him softly. "Yeah."

"Is Janie meeting us there?" Ennis asked as they went down the stairs.

Jack nodded.

Ennis insisted on driving, afraid Jack would get in an accident in his current state. He was trying to cover his nerves, but Ennis could see he was close to losing it. They were almost to the courthouse when he asked."You okay, Jack?"

"No. I'm fuckin' scared t'death."

"I'm sorry, darlin'. I wish I could make it all go away fer ya."

"I know ya do, Ennis."

Anna was waiting for them at the top of the stairs. "Is Janie here yet?" Jack asked her.

"No, not yet."

"What if she don't show up?"

"Then we'll go on without her. Try to relax, Jack. You look like you're going to throw up."

"That's funny, 'cause that's exactly how I feel right now." His attempt at a grin looked more like a grimace.

"Come on, you guys go wait in the conference room before they get here. I'll try to talk to their attorney again and see if we can't settle this."

In the conference room, Ennis sat in a chair while Jack paced around the tiny room like a big cat in a little cage. A few minutes later, Anna opened the door. "They're here and they aren't budging. They're trying to use your homosexuality against you."

"Fuck. Goddammit!"

"Jack, calm down."

"Sorry." He scrubbed his hands down his face and Ennis saw as his features crumpled and the tears started. Without thinking about it, he stood and took Jack in his arms. Jack's sobs filled the room for a moment, then died off.

Ennis was still holding him when the door opened and Janie stepped inside. She stopped, then looked to Anna. "Come on in. I'm glad you made it."

"Has something happened? Did I miss the hearing?" Janie asked.

"No." Anna shook her head.

Jack sniffed and wiped his nose on the kleenex Anna handed him. He sat down, with Ennis next to him, an arm still across his shoulders. "I'm sorry."

"Jack, you don't have to apologize," Anna said.

Ennis drew him close and said gently, "You got a right t'cry Jack. No one in this room thinks less of ya fer it."

Janie wiped away the tear that had made its way down her cheek.

"Let me go see if they're ready. You okay to get started, Jack?" Anna asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine now."

"Thanks for coming, Janie. I know you didn't halfta."

"I want to do whatever I can to help you," she replied, just as Anna stuck her head in the door.

"Come on, they're ready for us."

L.D. and Rick Lawson were in the courtroom already, but Faye was not there. Jack raised his eyebrows at Anna, who whispered, "I asked. She's at the hotel with Bobby." Jack had been wondering what they were going to do with Bobby during the hearing. This was the week the judge had allowed Faye and L.D. to have a visit with him.

Court was called to session and after they stated their appearances Judge Lundeen asked, "Mr. Lawson, I see you've filed a motion for a change of temporary custody until the custody hearing. What's changed since we were in court less than two weeks ago?"

"Your honor, it has come to my client's attention that the child is residing in a household that puts him at risk. Mr. Twist is a homosexual and lives with another man. In fact, that man is here in court with him." Rick turned to Ennis and fixed him with a sneer.

"Is this true, Ms. Grant?"

Anna hesitated and took a deep breath before answering. "Your honor, it is true that Mr. Twist lives with another man, who is indeed here in court today. But, your honor, in no way does this put the child at risk. Mr. Twist loves his son very much and would never do anything to hurt or harm him. Mr. Lawson is trying to prejudice the court against my client by bringing this frivolous motion before the court."

The judge shuffled through his papers before looking up. "Ms. Peterson, what brings you here today? Are you involved in this case?"

"I object, your honor," Rick said, standing up.

"Objection noted," he nodded at Rick, then continued, looking at Janie, "Ms. Peterson, are you involved in this case?"

"Our agency was called by an anonymous caller a few weeks ago. The caller expressed concerns about the child living with Jack and Ennis, because of their, well, because they were living together. I was sent to investigate and found no concerns. My supervisor has asked me to stay involved, so I've visited their home several times in the past few weeks. I haven't seen anything that would qualify as child protection concerns, your honor."

"So, you've been to the house and talked to the child?"

"Yes, your honor."

"And you have no concerns?"

"No, sir."

"Ms. Peterson, even though you aren't involved, is it possible for you to do a more thorough investigation and provide a written report to the court prior to the pre-trial hearing on September 13?"

"I'll have to check with my supervisor, but I'm sure he'll allow it, sir."

"Thank you." He looked at Rick. "Social services has been involved in this case for some weeks and has no concerns. Therefore, I'm going to deny your motion. The child will remain with his father until the scheduled hearing, where custody will be determined."

"But, your honor! How do we know this girl is telling the truth?"

"Because you are new here, I'll give you a pass on your outburst. Once. I have seen Ms. Peterson in my courtroom on numerous occasions. She has been nothing but professional. I trust her judgement. If there's nothing else?"

"Ya mean he's gonna let my grandson stay with those fuckin' queers?" L.D. asked in a loud whisper. "What the hell kinda court is this?"

Judge Lundeen directed a sharp look at Rick. "Mr. Lawson, please advise your client that he should refrain from making outbursts in my courtroom."

"Yes, your honor."

"If there's nothing else, this hearing is adjourned." The judge stood and left the room.

L.D. stormed out of the courtroom, followed by Rick. Jack looked at Anna, his blue eyes bigger than normal. "That's it? He didn't take Bobby away. I kinda lost all hope of keeping him. I thought he'd take 'im away, for sure."

"Jack, I told Ennis the other day that there's always hope. Remember that."


Ennis lay awake long after Jack had fallen asleep. He had a sense of uneasiness that he couldn't shake. There were too many things happening to him all at once. He wanted to slow things down, take a step back, and catch his breath. He thought of Tyler and how being down at the lake brought him peace. Maybe that'd work fer me, he thought.

He made his way to the lake, stepped through the trees and stopped. There was no movement this night, no voice in the darkness. On the dock, he laid down and looked up at the stars. So many . . .star light, star bright, all the stars I see tonight, wish I may, wish I might . . .get ahold of yerself, Ennis. He drifted for a while.

Ennis stirred and opened his eyes. Shit, fell asleep. Couldn't'ave been long. He sat up and became still, sensing a presence behind him, sitting on the other end of the dock. He quickly realized it was Tyler.

"I'm moving back home, Ennis. My brother left. I talked t'my dad about it."

"Okay."

"I appreciate you and Jack letting me stay here."

"You're welcome anytime. I hope you know that."

"Sure."

"What are you doing out here?" Tyler asked.

"Followin' yer example an' lookin' fer some peace. Too many thoughts in my head. Like a storm in here."

"Yeah, I understand." Ennis felt the sadness in his voice, all the way through to his heart.

"Things seem . . .things aren't easy at yer house, are they?"

Tyler didn't say anything right away and Ennis was beginning to regret saying anything at all, when Tyler started talking. "My mom died when I was young. My dad never got over it. I think something in him died at the same time. Things got even worse when my little brother died last year. Dad really started drinking in earnest." He stopped, fighting for control, "I think it's going to kill him." He paused. "And then there's me. He hates me for being the way I am. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, he can't get past it. He lets me live with him because I take care of him, but he barely talks to me, barely looks at me." He put his head down on his knees. "I can't take it and I can't leave it." His voice was filled with despair and sorrow.

Ennis crawled forward and put his arm around Tyler's shoulder and pulled him close. Tyler became still, as if afraid to move.

"Things will get better, Tyler."

"I don't think so," Tyler whispered.

Ennis stroked his head, brushing the long hair away from Tyler's face. "It will." His fingers brushed Tyler's cheek. "I know how ya feel. I was there myself, not that long ago. You're young, Tyler. Ya got years an' years ahead of ya. Things'll get better."

Tyler leaned into Ennis, then put his arms around him. Having tasted the feel of comfort, he wanted more. Needed more. He clung to Ennis, his face nuzzled into his neck, and drew a shuddering breath. Ennis sensed his need and held him for a long time.

Tyler finally pulled away and looked up at Ennis, his eyes dark and deep. Ennis lost himself in those eyes before he sensed the change; the air was too thick and full of energy. He pulled back, his skin burning everywhere that his body touched Tyler's. They broke apart and Ennis stood up, too fast, his head started spinning. He stumbled back to the house and smoked three cigarettes before he felt calm enough to go back to bed, where he fell into a restless sleep.