Chapter Twenty-Three
Wednesday, August 18, 1976
Jack put the green metal Coleman cooler in the back of the station wagon and moved over so Ennis could put the lunch basket in beside it. "Thanks for making up this lunch fer us, Kelly," Jack said, "We'll stop somewhere fer supper, so don't make anything."
"Okay. You guys have a good time."
Bobby stopped to give her a hug before getting in the car and Franny followed suit. Junior was halfway down the steps when she suddenly stopped and ran back in the house with a cry of, "Oh, I forgot my book!" She was back out in a few seconds.
Jack leaned down to look in the car, "We got everything we need? You kids ready?" Junior slid by him and into the backseat next to Franny.
"Yes, let's go!"
Ennis looked at Kelly with a twinkle in his eye, "You keep those boys in line today. Just 'cause we ain't here don't mean they can slack off."
She grinned back at him and nodded, "Yes, sir. Have a good trip."
Ennis got in the car and glanced at Jack in the driver's seat. Jack gave him a small smile and backed the car around. Ennis looked in the backseat, "Did you all bring jackets or sweatshirts? It might get cold today,"
"Yes, daddy. You already asked us that."
"I did?"
"Yes."
The made their way out to highway 2 and headed east. Ennis let the kids' chatter flow over and around him as he relaxed back in the seat. The sky above was a brilliant, deep blue. Almost the color of Jack's eyes. A snippet of a poem came to his mind. Something he'd read somewhere recently. He couldn't remember where, but he remembered some of the lines that seemed important to him.
I'm
traveling down this Minnesota highway
between
the place where I am now
and
where you used to be
and
all around the trees and grass are painted
in
water color greens
and
up above the sky is blue, the perfect shade
of
northern summer sky
He looked at Jack again and their eyes met. The sky was definitely the same color as those beautiful eyes today. Outside, the pine trees and the birch and aspen trees flew by, occasionally broken up by a marsh or swamp, where the dead snags rose out of the water like skeleton trees.
Junior buried herself in her book while Bobby and Franny kept up a running commentary between them. Jack and Ennis were mostly silent during the drive. Junior glanced up from her book once in a while, at the back of their heads, curious and yet unnerved, by their silence. It grew more pronounced when Bobby, and then Franny, fell asleep. Junior was reluctant to break the silence, however, so she went back to her book.
Between the place where I am now and where you used to be. It was a mantra that wouldn't go away. Ennis watched as a bald eagle circled overhead. "Did you see that?" he asked Jack.
"Yeah."
Junior looked up, looked out the window, wondering what they saw, wondering what was so important it finally broke the silence. The eagle soared above the car, the white head and tail a contrast to the dark brown body. She could feel the strength in its wings and the grace in its movements. It circled above for another moment before disappearing among the trees. Junior glanced back at her dad, who was looking at Jack, then her eyes moved to Jack, who turned to meet her father's eyes. The look that passed between them made her lower her head, made her heart and her eyes soften and fill with unshed tears. She rested her head against the cool glass of the window and looked out at the trees and grass and flowers and sky all flowing together in a river of color, like the watercolor picture that hung in the living room at her dad and Jack's home.
Junior opened her eyes and looked around, realizing she'd fallen asleep. They were on the edge of town. "Where are we?" she asked, feeling Franny stir beside her.
"In Hermantown. It's right before Duluth," Jack answered.
There was building construction going on around them, but they passed it all and kept going. The road started a gradual incline until the reached the divide and started over it. Junior sucked in her breath at the scene before her. The lake stretched out to the horizon, the color of slate. Like the eagle, this lake filled her with a feeling of awe. Power emanated from its depths and she felt small and insignificant just at the sight of it. Houses and buildings perched among the majestic rocks that surrounded the shore.
Jack followed the directions Kelly and Tyler had given them to Canal Park. Rocks, as big as the children, rose in front of them on the shore. To their right, a double pier extended into the lake, one side ending in a lighthouse. Seagulls roamed the ground and sky above, moving almost as a single entity. Outside the car, the day was warm and hazy, but the wind was an undercurrent of calm noise and cooling breath.
"Can we go see the lighthouse, Daddy?" Bobby asked.
"Sure."
The kids started towards the pier, disturbing the seagulls on the ground, who flew up and grouched at them before settling back down on the ground, only to fly up again when Jack and Ennis approached. The pier was about twenty feet wide, a massive cement structure that had four foot sides to keep the waves out and people inside. Jack walked along one side while Ennis walked along the other, space and subtle tension between them. They reached the steps up to the lighthouse together and walked up, joining Junior, Franny, and Bobby, who stood behind the lighthouse, watching the ebb and flow of the waves.
Ennis looked at Jack, who had his hands on top of the retaining wall, his long fingers splayed. His face was serene, his eyes far, far away, but after a minute, he seemed to sense that he was being watched and turned to Ennis, his eyes wide and trusting, and looked straight into Ennis's soul. Their eyes locked and held onto each other, until Bobby tugged at Jack's shirt.
"Daddy, look at that. What is it?"
Jack looked out onto the lake. "It looks like a ship." They stood and watched as it approached, dwarfing them the closer it got, until it seemed impossible that this could be something made by man, so large and imposing it was. It was almost incomprehensible that it was going to fit between the two piers and underneath the aerial bridge that lifted in anticipation of its passage, but the massive ship slipped neatly between the two stone structures, like a tumbler in a lock sliding home. The ship was a small mountain, towering above Jack, Ennis, and the kids as it went by and underneath the bridge. They watched until it disappeared, until the bridge lowered, and the waves died down.
"Can we go down by the water?" Franny asked Ennis, breaking him out of the trance he seemed to be in.
"Sure, darlin'. Just don't get too close and be careful by the rocks." The kids raced down the steps and along the pier. Jack walked to Ennis and leaned down on one elbow, facing him. Ennis looked up and met his eyes. "That was incredible."
"Yeah." Jack looked around and realized they were alone and shielded from the parking lot by the light house. He reached out, hooked Ennis's beltloops with his fingers, and pulled him closer. Ennis took his own look around and then turned his brown eyes to the blue, a small smile on his face.
"What are you doin'?"
"Nothin'." Jack's eyes hooded, his features softened as he leaned closer. "This," he whispered, leaning in to meet Ennis's lips with his own. Ennis put his hands on Jack's cheeks, a light touch, and closed the distance between them. Jack's tongue feathered into his mouth, filling it with the taste that was so familiar. He allowed Jack to explore his mouth for a moment before breaking away.
"Come on, we better go find the kids before one of 'em falls in," he said softly, leaning in for one last kiss, then broke away reluctantly and lead Jack down the steps.
Junior was standing on the rocky shore, looking down. "Look at the rocks, daddy. Look how smooth they are." She bent to pick on up and looked at it a moment before handing it to him. "Here, this one's for you," she said.
He turned the rock over and over in his hand. It was a deep, blue-gray and shaped like a heart. He marveled at its perfection before putting it safely in his pocket.
Bobby picked his way carefully down to the water and put his toes in. "Ooh! It's cold!" he smiled back at Jack.
"You be careful, son. I don't anymore trips t'the hospital."
"I will," Bobby said, as Franny joined him at the water. They both squealed as a wave broke and washed over their feet.
Jack made his way to where they stood. "You two don't get any closer. See that?" he pointed out about a foot and a half into the water, "The shore drops right off and the current is so strong it'd carry you away afore we could blink."
Bobby picked up a rock and threw it in. "Okay, daddy."
Franny found a bigger rock and tossed it in, "Look at that splash!" she cried.
Jack turned and looked at the shore. It looked like a giant hand had pushed all the huge rocks into a pile along the lakeshore and then tired of his game and left them where they lay. Ennis was seated on a flat rock, watching Bobby and Franny, so he joined him.
Junior continued her search for unique rocks. Ennis noticed her pockets were bulging with them. After a while, she approached them and stood shyly in front of Jack. "I found something for you, Jack," she said, holding out her hand. He put his out and she dropped something in it. "It matches Daddy's."
Jack looked closely at the rock in his hand. It was blue-gray and heart shaped. He showed it to Ennis. "Thank you, sweetheart," Jack told Junior, a slight hitch in his voice. Ennis took his rock out of his pocket and compared it to Jack's. They could have been joined at one time, centuries ago, only to split and sit on this shore, water washing over them year after year, to smooth out all the roughness, leaving them smooth and perfect. Ennis handed Jack's back to him and they each put them deep in their pockets.
Junior left them and joined her sister and Bobby at the water. They threw in more rocks, then started climbing on the rocks. After a while, Bobby complained that he was hungry, so they got out the lunch Kelly had packed, found a picnic table, and settled in to eat. After lunch, they watched another ship come in, then walked along the shore. It was afternoon before Jack suggested packing up and going home.
They stopped at the Ground Round, which seemed to be a combination sports bar and family diner, to eat supper. Ennis expected a comment about them, two dads, being out with the kids, but the waitress didn't seem to care. She was friendly and took their order, delivered it when it was ready, but otherwise left them to themselves.
The ride home in the near dark was uneventful and all three kids were sleeping when they pulled in the driveway. Ennis woke Junior and helped her inside, then went back to carry Franny in while Jack did the same with Bobby. It was early, but they tucked them into bed anyway.
Ennis followed Jack up the stairs to their bedroom. He felt the tension come back into him as he softly shut the door behind him. He heard Jack in the bathroom as he stripped down to his boxers. Jack came out of the bathroom in a matching outfit and brushed his hand along Ennis's stomach as they passed each other, Ennis heading to the bathroom and Jack to the bed. Ennis smiled and kept going. He brushed his teeth and splashed some water on his face.
A feeling of unease was settling itself over him, though he tried to resist it. Today had been a beautiful, relaxing, fun day. So what is the matter? The feeling of unease was seeping into his skin and bones. He shook himself and took a deep breath, willing the feeling to go away. It didn't budge. He looked at himself in the mirror and barely recognized the face staring back at him. He sighed, looked away, and shut off the light as he went into the bedroom.
Jack was already in bed, one arm behind his head, looking at the ceiling. He had a thoughtful look on his face as he watched Ennis get in bed and face him. Ennis reached out and touched the hair on Jack's stomach with his index finger, tracing the trail down to the edge of his boxers.
"Something wrong?" Jack asked.
Ennis didn't answer right away. His finger retraced its path up to Jack's chest. "No. I don't know."
Jack captured his hand and brought it to his mouth. He kissed the tip of Ennis's index finger, took it into his mouth up to the first joint, then returned the hand to his stomach. Ennis's finger felt cold as the air hit it. He splayed his fingers out on Jack's stomach and was reminded of Jack's hands on the wall at the pier. Between the place where I am now and where you used to be. He pressed his fingers into Jack's skin. Jack looked at him curiously.
Ennis raised up on his elbow and moved his hand up to Jack's chest, running his fingers along the ridge of his pectoral muscle. Jack flinched and grinned when his hand hit the sensitive area on his side, just below his armpit.
Ennis smiled weakly, "Fergot you were ticklish there." He moved his hand back to Jack's chest, stopping to circle the nipple, then back down the trail of silky hair that disappeared under Jack's boxers. Ennis could see the bulge beginning to grow down there, but he ignored it and his hand traveled back up. His thumb stopped and caressed the hollow of Jack's throat, leaving it when Jack swallowed hard. His fingers traced a path along Jack's jawline and he was acutely aware of the roughness of Jack's stubble. His fingers continued their path north to slide around the edge of his ear.
He avoided looking into Jack's eyes, focusing instead on his mouth and those lips. Jack's tongue came out and moved along his lower lip. At this sight, Ennis finally felt a stirring in his own groin. His hands moved again to Jack's chest, feeling the hardness of his muscles and the strength beneath the skin. His fingers were drawn yet again to the trail of silky hair, which he traced gently, not stopping at the waistband this time. His hand slipped into Jack's boxers, all the way down to the thatch of soft hair. A low sound escaped from deep within Jack and he squirmed involuntarily beneath Ennis's hand, which tangled in the curls before tracing a light path along the hard shaft. Ennis finally looked up to Jack's eyes, but they were closed. It was his mouth that was open, his head arched back in pleasure and anticipation. Ennis ran his tongue along Jack's jawline, feeling the stubble prick and scrape his tongue. This is a man's face, a man's body. His uneasiness was replaced with desire as his cock sprang to life, hardening in an instant. Jack opened his eyes, feeling the change.
Jack had not touched Ennis yet, sensing that it would not have been welcomed or appreciated. He reached up now, to cup Ennis's cheek with his hand. "What's wrong, Ennis?"
Anger flashed in Ennis's eyes and disappeared. There were so many things that needed to be said, so many things he needed to say, but he wouldn't. Not yet. Not here. He moved his body down the bed and pulled Jack's boxers off, not missing the look of hurt that passed through the blue eyes. With an almost overwhelming sense of guilt, he took Jack in his mouth, nearly gagging in his haste. He backed off a bit and slowed down.
"Jesus christ, Ennis . . ." Jack moaned, his hurt pushed aside for the moment. His hips moved, but he restrained the urge to thrust, wanting to make it last. Ennis felt himself grow harder in response to Jack's reaction. He had a realization that he wasn't doing this just so Jack would reciprocate later. I enjoy it. I love it. I love the feel of him, the taste of him. He grew even harder, but then he nearly stopped what he was doing as the reality of it hit him. He was elated and terrified. A roaring started in his ears and blocked everything else out for a moment, until a soft sound brought him back to himself.
"Ennis, oh, Ennis, baby, baby . . . Ennis . . ." Jack's hips thrust upwards and he exploded into Ennis's mouth. He swallowed it all, then moved up to rest his head on Jack's stomach, feeling Jack breathing hard, his fingers tangled in Ennis's curls.
When Jack's breathing slowed to normal, Ennis crawled back up to lie beside him. Jack turned to face him, pushing him onto his back and raising up on his elbow. He looked into Ennis's eyes, not breaking contact as his hand traced a path from ear to ear and then around his lips. He leaned down and kissed Ennis, his eyes open and locked on the brown. He pulled away and reached down with his hand, underneath Ennis's boxers, to feel the hardness within them. He stroked it a couple of times, then finally tore his eyes away from Ennis's as he moved down the bed and repeated Ennis's actions, though he started with more gentleness.
It was full dark when Jack woke later. He was tangled up with Ennis and the sheets and could barely see Ennis's face in the darkness, although he could feel the even breathing and felt the arms tighten around him as he snuggled closer. All of Jack's uncertainty and uneasiness from earlier in the night disappeared as he drifted back to sleep.
